There was something funny this morning,

but I got distracted.

Then I read an article at nonfluffywicca.com that brought back some memories. and you know when my memoriies are refreshed, I have to share.

a little bit of background on the article, in a nutshell. Two boys are at Boy Scout Camp and one of the troop leaders decides to show how diverse the religions are in the room. The children were to raise thier hands when thier faith was called. Baptist, Catholic, Methodist, etc. Two boys, brothers, did not raise their hands and when asked, one announced that he is Wiccan. the boys were kicked out, but the ruling was overturned. Some parents removed their boys from the group, said they would have preferred that the boys lie about thier faith. Others were concerned that the boys would preach to their sons. (You know, cuz they had been secretly undermining the religious upbringing of the other children all along)(the boys in question were 11 and 15.) the parents of the Wiccan boys have since applied to lead a group called Spiral Scouts, Wicca based, but open to all.

This is not the place where I lecture about understanding, and all that. Boy Scouts is faith based and a private group that holds the right, whether I agree with it or not. This is the place where I tell my story.

I joined a Girl Scout troop when I was in High School. As we started to do more and more things, we switched over to being a High Adventure Explorer Post (Explorers is a Boy Scout subsidiary) because we wanted to canoue and sail on our Hobie Cat (it was donated to us) and Girl Scout restrictions were higher. We already had lifeguards, GS wanted us to have instructors too. BS didn't. Since we were now Explorers, we went co-ed (which means that on this particular trip, I had a boyfriend with me and no, nothing happened. I didn't want to get caught fooling about even at 18 because Scouts was important and I was the troop president.)

Each year, the local BS Camp hosts Explorer Weekend. We went on this inaugural weekend. The theme, Midevil Times. We went in full rennisance regailia. My best friend and I had just henna'd our hair red. That first day, when we walked up, someone yelled from their tent, "Hey, Are you witches?" to which she replied (thinking nothing of it), "I'm not, but She is!", and she gestured towards me. The reply?

"Can we burn you at the stake?"

I yelled no and kept walking, but it kind of hurt. It was the ignorance of children, and, if I were that sort, I might have asked if I could crucify them first, but I'm not that kind of person and the thought didn't occur to me at the time. You see, the burning times were ugly. A lot of innocent people died. Some may have been witches, many were not. but dead is dead no matter what the reason and well, you certainly don't make jokes to Jews about the Holocaust. Or to Christians about the Roman Persecutions. (or the crucifixion)

I didn't mention it to my scout leader. she would have thrown a fit and there would have been a scene. And, I know now that since Boy Scouts is a Christian Club, I didn't have a leg to stand on. Will there always be ignorance? yeah. Will I always have to defend my beliefs? Heck yeah, you should have seen me try in those conversations with Athiest. I learned very quickly that he and I were not compatible simply because he wouldn't even accept that I could possibly believe anything that didn't fall under his idea of science and logic. he thought I was an absolute kook! I chose to continue to talk to him because I make it a point not tocut people off just because they don't agree with me.

That may have been the weekend when I first realized that perhaps it's not such a good idea to wear my faith like a banner across my chest.

and those boys from the story? All they will remember is that they were honest and ostracized for it, not by their peers who likely didn't know what Wicca was, but by the adults who might should have done a little research. As Sensei Ern has taught us, you can be a faithful Christian and still converse with witches.

Here's to tolerance.

Embarassing Moments

So, Last night I'm at work. and when I am at that work, my nose itches. a lot. it was a pretty slow night. cue momentary rush of people. my nose is itching like crazy, I'm ringing customers up and pulling thier pastries, itch itch (with my arn, not my hands), when I realize that all that itching has worked a booger loose. right up there in the front of my nose. As soon as the people were gone, I rushed off to the bathroom, realized I needed to take off my apron before I went in the bathroom, returned to the bathroom (where I can't actually take a bath, it's lacking a tub) where I discovered that the offending party was indeed big and green. thankfully, my coworkers had not noticed, so I can only hope the customers didn't either.

This morning I called our facilities director to give him some information. when he answered his phone, it was terribly echo-y. I turned to my boss and had the following conversation:

Me: Aw, it sounded like he was in the bathroom, it was all echo-y. (pause) I hope he was just making an inspection.

Boss: Blink, Blink. Grin.

At which point I covered my face in embarassment and we both started laughing. He proceeded to make fun of me and will be for the rest of the day. maybe my life.

Atheist is still trying

and apparently I helped him to need to include the following in his ad:

"I am not compatible with women who seriously believe in Jesus, life-after-death, souls, Heaven, prayer, astrology, psychic powers, ghosts, bio-energy fields, auras, Karma, or anything supernatural. As I mentioned in the beginning, I have a skeptical, scientific mind. "

giggle. sadly his scientific mind really is quite closed. I still maintain that there are things in this world that science cannot explain, and things that are real, like love, that cannot be recorded but are still real.

oh, and he also says this:

"The more you share my interests and qualities, the more I'll like you. But as a minimum, please be under 35, no kids, non-smoker, non-religious, and in-shape. People say opposites attract, but in my experience that is false. I cannot find a mate because everyone is so different from me."

giggle giggle. guess he's looking to fuck himself. or the female version. which is fine. after all, someone commented, aren't we all, and really we kinda are. in some ways. but to tell you the truth, I would NOT like to be with someone just like me. that's too much wackiness in one room.

He's a nice guy, and the only one that actually carried on conversations with me, so I give him a lot of credit. from the new picture he posted though, he needs to drop the moustache. It's just fun to poke fun because I "know" him.

Might be offensive...

But I was thinking the other day while watching a movie, How did Jewish people keep thier Yalmicas (spelling??) on their heads before the advent of Bobby Pins? I mean, I'd like to think that those wonderful little pins have always been around for my hair pinning needs, but I know that isn't true.

There was something else too, but I have forgotten what it was.

Music

I was reading this blog:

http://pluralofapocalypse.blogspot.com/

and it reminded me of the music I grew up with.

Through most of my childhood, I, like any child listened to what my parents listened to. Pink Floyd. The Beatles. The Beach Boys. Donna Summer. Styx. Michael Jackson. or Whatever was on MTV, the cool channel with all the neat music videos like the Twisted Sister and ZZ Top ones. We moved and got rid of cable for the next 8 years or so. Then, I listened to what my sister listened to. Cyndie Lauper. Madonna. Whitney Houston (this was pre druggie Whitney. It's been sad to see her fall so far)El Debarge. The Bangles. Stacy Q. Debbie Gibson. Tiffany. my friends at school weren't into music, or at least we didn't talk about it, so when they named our study group Guns N Roses, I didn't have any idea what they were talking about. The whole New Kids on the Block craze was completely lost on me.

When I finally got to an age to start listening to what I wanted to hear, or at least start learning about popular music, we moved to a place with no radio reception. Since I didn't have any friends, I still was lost on the music scene. if you asked me what my favorite was, I would have told you Classical. That's what I knew since I was a (very bad) flute player when I was younger, and music was huge in my life. But the fundimentals, not the radio stuff. On a side note, I never went to band camp and I never did anything with my flute that would cause me to not want to put my mouth on it later. Ditto for the Clarinet, which I also played briefly.

In eighth grade my sister bought me my two first tapes. I got to pick them out. I chose Weird Al Yankovic (Even Worse) and Wilson Phillips. I listened to them on the stereo I somehow aquired that year. I also made a lasting friend. she introduced me to The Phantom of The Opera which I listed to so often my step dad thought there was something wrong with me. My freshman year got me a walkman for Christmas, I'm thinking because my parents didn't want to hear Phantom and soon Les Miserables any more.

My first CD was an Andrew Lloyd Webber collection. I still have it. It's in my car.

I have broadened my musical horizons. I listen now to just about everything. I wake up to classical and then turn to my favorite classic rock station. If I can sing to it, it's in my car. Jazz music yesterday replaced Disney songs from the day before. Or maybe it was Grease. I've collected all my favorites of yesteryear with all the things I discover today. Except Weird Al and Wilson Phillips. Those went away with the rest of my cassette tapes. Maybe today I'll listen to Janice Joplin or No Doubt or The Beatles or Miss Saigon or Linkin Park or The Bangles or...

Shut the window!

Last Friday night, at midnight, I learned that one of my nieghbors is a screamer. That night, I sat up in bed, yelled, "For the love of God!" and shut my window. I could no longer hear my neighbor, so I was able to go back to sleep. Sometime in the middle of last week, I opened my window again, since I like fresh air in my room.

Cinco De Mayo. A night for revelrie in my border town. I considered having a margarita, but knowing I had to be at work at 7 am Saturday morning, I decided against it. I went to bed at a reasonable time because I haven't been getting very much sleep lately.

11:50. I wake up. It appears they are at it again. I slam my window shut. I can still hear them. I figure, they can only do it for what, 10, 15 minutes? I mean that's about average, right? I start thinking about complaining to the management. I don't want to do that because I have already complained about vibrating neighbors and carpet beetles.

I consider writing a nastygram and going out in my robe to deliver it to all the neighbors in my little courtyard (since I don't know which one is actually the noisemaker) but it occurs to me that the older folks (and there are many) would not appriciate such a thing. Post a sign on a tree? Children in the complex.

I turn on my radio. Now I'm wired, and it's after midnight. I also cannot sleep with the radio on. I ponder why I am so angry. Ok, well, it's rude, I'm tired, and I discovered later, I had a rare case of PMS. also, I am bitter at the lack of similar activity in my world. I consider putting a sign in my bedroom window. Can you see it from the sidewalk? Maybe I should go look. hmm. (damnit, go to sleep) I could paint snarky remarks in the window...I turn off the radio. They're still at it, it's nearing 1 am. I head out to the couch where I know that the sound of the turtle tank will drown out the sound of them fucking.

I don't sleep well on the couch unless the TV is on and I am supposed to be awake. So I head back to my bedroom. I am now beyond awake and I lay there thinking about all the ways I can let them know they are out of line. All my passive agressive tendencies are in full force, but there is nothing I can do. I lay there and wonder if it's karma for all the good times I've had and I wonder how many of my old neighbors wanted to strangle me late at night. I never heard a window slam. In fact, I close windows, or used to back when sex was a part of my world. I ponder painting messages in my window. "Sounds like you have a stud, can I borrow him?" "Shut your window if you're going to scream like a banshee", "I don't want to listen to you fucking", nothing seems appropriate or useful.

6am arrived too soon. I can only pray that next weekend, when I am on the same Saturday Schedule, that I won't have another rude awakening.

A Coincedence? Maybe!

I was reading the news and I came accross this article.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12635710/

During that same month, I wrote this post:

http://ginamonster.blogspot.com/2005/11/i-had-dream.html

apparently, if you read the article, the rock started growing last November. Hmm.

I got lucky.

I wish I could tell you that it's what you are thinking, but this, my friends is the old fashioned "whew" (not woo woo) kind of lucky. the kind where prior to knowing you got lucky, a horrible sick feeling passes over your soul and the first thing you think is, "fuck".

Last night I walked out of derby practice and around the corner into the next parking lot because, although I practice at a large popular skating rink, the parking lot only has room for maybe 15 cars. The rink shares it's lot with several other businesses, so, I parked in the grocery lot next door.

Came out several hours later, and saw that my car trunk was open. all the way open. When I caught my heart again, I walked over and saw that nothing was missing, not even my sleeping bag (which is worth far more then the fax machine it's currently sharing the trunk with) The guy at the donut shop? told me he had kept his eye on my car all evening. Thank goodness for the kindness of strangers.

In other bonehead news, not only did I put my sweater on inside out this morning, but I recently discovered that my underwear are inside out too. dangit.

Descriptions of me

There are many people who say to me, Gina, you are the busiest person I know. And while it might be an exaggeration to say I am the busiest (think of all those hardworking moms out there, they're way more busy than I, and, they're not even doing it for themselves (cue Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin.)) I will admit that I keep myself very well occupied.

there are many reasons for this.

I was raised that way. I remember my parents always being on the go and my mom, yeah, if you think I am busy, you should try catching her at home. Oh wait, you won't.

I don't believe in getting bored. So I find things to occupy my time.

There's so many great things to do in this wonderful world of ours, that I want to try it all!

Being busy makes me appriciate the quiet moments.

And the one I don't like to talk about? That's where the stuff I do fills that empty spot that would otherwise be occupied by someone special. I'm on the go so that I don't have to sit on the couch alone. I crawl in bed exhausted each night and fall asleep before I can miss having someone to snuggle with, even if I can't do it while I am sleeping, it's still nice to have someone there. I love my life, I wouldn't want to settle for the wrong man just to have someone to talk to. And truly, I have SO MUCH. But I don't feel the need to be out all the time when I'm not sitting at home alone.

Perhaps that is the reason I have been trying out the whole personal ad thing. I was hoping that someone like me would come up and HOORAY! but what I found was not men looking for a woman like me, I found the ones who wanted someone like them. Or they just wanted to screw around. Basically, they wanted to fuck themselves. Hee, hee.

Oh well. Off to another adventure. Tonight? After I run up to the florist to drop off the bigger, smellier soaps, I'll be going home. I need to clean my room and my kitchen. I need to make soap. Vacuume. clean the office, do some laundry, put laundry away.Maybe I will watch TV and knit, or play with the imprinter, or weave or...

I think I am glad I

came to the conclusion about Atheist because:

http://sandiego.craigslist.org/m4w/157151497.html

this sounds a lot like him.

Another Wednesday

Injuries:

Hoo Ha still bruised, you can't see the bruising. I can just feel it. you know, when I sit down and stuff.
I seem to have pulled the muscles in my inner thighs perfecting the T stop. I still cannot T stop. Time though. give me time.

Messes:

Drooled coffee onto my shirt during a meeting. Then my chicken went flying at lunch and I got BBQ sauce on my shirt. Right next to the coffee stain.

Madness:

My parents are looking at buying property with a Granny Flat. Actually, the Granny Flat is a trailer. I will go with them to look at it today. I don't want to live in a trailer, but my lovely apartment was not the best financial decision I ever made. You know what I mean?

Men:

Spoke with atheist on the phone last night. He seems nice, but I'm thinking we are not compatible. Philosophy aside, I am an active/outside girl, he's a chess and piano player. I like chess and the piano, but he got worn out just talking to me. I don't think he could keep up with me in a kayak.

Ooh. I said that!

Maybe I'm getting ballsier.

But I actually said this, "I mean, I want to see you happy, but it would suck to have you go"

It was a lot harder to do than you would think.

I bruised my what?

First Derby practice. I bruised my pubic bone. I hadn't realized it stuck out that far but apparently, if you slam your pelvis into the floor hard enough, it's possible for that to connect. Sadly, that's one of those things you can't grab hold of or rub like you can when you bruise an elbow or a knee. Cuz, you know, that's naughty. Which would be great you you guys, I'm sure, but really? not lady like.

I learned something yesterday from Bug Guy who is still on a quest to find me a husband (This quest has lasted 2 years now, with that short break when I was with T) and apparently, the guys he talks to want to know what is wrong with me that I am 28, unmarried, no kids.

Um, How about I'm too smart to settle, and too smart to procreate before I am ready? I mean I know that sometimes birth control fails, that is not what I am talking about, what I am saying is that I have made a concious decision to avoid divorce by waiting until I know better what I want in a man (and not sticking with the ones that are wrong for me) and I have remained childless because I choose to. (and thankfully my birth control has not failed me) Some women choose to go around having babies all over the place, I didn't. and that, apparently makes me undesireable. Wow.

I like my plan better.didn't want to date those idiots anyway.

Meanwhile, there is a high possibility that T will indeed move to Alabama, and that makes me weepy. But I won't tell him that.

Update

Worked a lot this weekend. Didn't know a sunday morning at harbucks would be so hectic (duh).

In contact with a guy from the personals. Had an all day conversation about religious philosophy. He's Atheist. interesting.

Here's a meme I found on Spinning Girl.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Every truly happy moment is perfect

What is your greatest fear? Hmm. When I figure it out. I'll let you know

What vehicles do you own?A sporty little mini-SUV

What is your greatest extravagance?Lately it's plants for my garden

What is your most unappealing habit?undies. on the floor. Maybe it's not putting away my laundry.

What is your most treasured possession?my family

Where would you like to live? I'm happy where I am

What makes you depressed?wasteful living and unwanted children

What do you most dislike about your appearance?little baggies under my eyes

Who would play you in a movie of your life?Scarlett Johanson.

What is your favourite smell? Me. You know, that smell on your pillows. Everyone has a smell.

What is your favourite word?mmm. fuck.

What is your guiltiest pleasure? Snuggling up on the couch watching movies all night.

What, or who, is the greatest love of your life? Que??

What is your greatest regret? I was once invited into the Elephant pen at the Wild Animal Park I was afraid the elephants would step on me, so I said no. Now I understand that I would be more likely to step on them. and I missed the chance of a lifetime to interact with those wonderful beasts.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life? I have so much...

What keeps you awake at night?money issues.

What song would you like played at your funeral Ding Dong the Witch is Dead

How would you like to be remembered?fondly. As a great lady.

Rare Shameless Plug

Soap Sale at www.bubbly-creations.com

I want to move my current inventory so I can debut everything that is now bigger and smellier. Go forth and buy soap. Lots of it. And register so I can feel important.

As I told T today, I am more likely to sell a bar of soap than I am to get any, so I'm thinking, if I can sell lots of soap, that will up my chances of other things right? right?

finally, something good.

Over the past year, as some of you know, I have been maintaining a very inappropriate email relationship with my Ex, T. In person, however, we behave well and have kept our relationship platonic.

I would like more, but am convinced that he does not share my feelings. Being a coward, I do not discuss such things.

Regardless, we have great conversations, and appear to be compatible in many ways. Both of us have made it quite clear that adding benifits to the friendship is a possibility. Neither of us will make that move. Both of us understand that is would likely ruin everything. He has made it clear that this would not be loving gesture, and that he would go home after. Once this point got through my head, I realized, that it would do terrible things to my heart.

So I have done my best to keep all conversation G rated. No use building hopes.

Today they turned R. And I mentioned that he would just get up and leave. He agreed. Here is the part where I am proud of myself.

I said, "I've decided that's not good enough for me"

Sometimes, in the face of things that frighten me, issues that make me want to hide, I hold my head up and stand up for me. It doesn't change anything. But at least I know I said it. Which will make it easier to say again. Who am I if I don't stand up for my principles?

I think I figured it out

The reason Pregnant Ladies gain weight. I mean, aside from the whole baby on board thing. People feed them all the time! Bug Guy just come in asking for chocolate "because there is a pregnant lady" out in the lobby. and I heard him give it to her. it was almost like, "Ooh, you're pregnant, you must need chocolate!" and the ladies are all so polite, they don't say no. I figure that if anyone really wants chocolate, they're gonna come asking for it.

So pregnant ladies, what I'm saying is, it's not your fault.

More personals fun

These are real.

where's all the classy, freaky, sexy, horny ladies at?? - 29 I don't know what else it says in the ad, but I would generally think that a woman who calls herself Classy, probably won't answer an ad that also asks if she's freaky, sexy and horny. Mybe it's just me.

Shake the disease... - 122 Bad poetry. Just bad.

Nufin but da truf - 26 it's a what, huh? This guy doesn't have very much self esteem, but at least he has beer money.

***Seeking the perfect camel toe*** - 28 maybe you should check out the zoo?

Victoria Secret? Fredricks? Lets go together. I buy - 40 I once went on a a date with a guy. We ended up wandering the mall because the movie we wanted to see was sold out. He wanted me to try on clothes and model for him. I said no.

Male Seeking Female Witch - 48 If you want to know about the scene in SD, I suggest you not post in the personal section. Maybe it works, I don't know, I'm a solitary.

Watch me ... and I'll watch you AAAHHH Creepy! Creepy!

ORAL PLEASURES - 29 (Your place) NO!

Orgasm School - Why are we not taught this? - 45 uh...

Ready and stable! - 36 Apparently, this one has a thing for horses.

Dope

So, there have been two men who have continued to speak with me despite having recieved my picture. Guy 1, M, gave me his phone number on Tuesday. I emailed him and said that I would call him Wednesday since I worked Tues. night, and what would be a good time to call? He answered that anytime would be good since he always has his cell phone on him.
I called yesterday at about 6 pm. He answered and told me that he was about to go into a seminar (funny, I thought those were planned ahead of time. hmm) and that he would call me when he got out. Gee, my phone never rang. I deleted his emails and threw out his number this morning.

Guy 2, hasn't responded to my last email. he gets another day before his messages are also deleted.

I know it's harsh, but I am not going to sit around waiting for these guys to call. I am not desperate, I am just looking for someone to share my time and possibly my life. If a guy won't call when he says he will, he's not someone I want to be with.

The new "Chic"

I was reading today on the news, that White Trash is, in fact, the new Chic. It's very cool to go around acting and dressing ignorant and slutty a la Britney. (who, it has been reported, is 4 months preggers with kidlet #2. Hey Brit, drop this on one it's butt, ok? they bounce better that way. Just like giant garbanzo beans)

Now, I like to wear the occational "Wife Beater" T Shirt. And I'm not going to pretend that I am a class icon. (HOO-HA!! that was to keep your attention). But I don't think I care to join in this trend. I don't want pictures of me floating around when I'm old of my ass and belly hanging out, my hair all askew like I can't be bothered to comb or wash it, barefoot, with a trucker hat that says "Fuck me, I'm easy. And Fertile"

So from my little redneck corner of San Diego, I'm going to continue to pin my upsweeps, wear my business suits, drive my jalopy and be totally out of style. I might stick out like a sore thumb, but I've worked hard on my image. Truly, classy never really goes out of style. And I'd rather be considered a lady than a ho.

(until you get to know me, then you realize that my roots are in fact white trash and I can swear with the best. My mom worked very hard to pull us off the welfare roster.)

Meanwhile, in other completely related news, I am currently perusing the San Diego Roller derby website since I figure that if Cate can be a Derby Girl, so can I. I mean, I don't have as many tatoos as she does, but I do have pointy elbows and skater thighs (I'm not saying that Cate has either of those things, I'm saying that they might help me be a better roller girl. And, when I'm old, how cool would it be to have had that adventure?)

Decisions

I have just determined that I would rather have a kayak than a motorcycle. Not that either is in my near future, but I feel the need to have something to daydream about and well, although a house would be lovely, and supporting myself in a manner to which I am unaccostomed with my business is certainly a possibility, I think I kayak is far more attainable in the short run. Maybe that's what I will save my tips for.

I just recieved

an offer to get me out of dept.

I like the department I work in

I am not in a department store. What does it mean?? (I know what it means)

I also recieve my first tip payout of 18 whole dollars! I put it in my piggy bank. actually it's in my underwear drawer. my piggy bank is full of nickels.

Speaking of nickles, apparently, they made the buffalo on the new buffalo nickel too well hung, so they reissued them as girl buffalo. Having seen the original ones, I have to say, "hee hee hee!"

Also in the realm of immaturity, I was in a meeting today and someone mentioned porn. (in a strictly business related issue. we have a hotel, remember?) and I giggled into my hand.

Dear men in the world of personal ads,

It's creepy when you advertise for a personal slave.

You say race doesn't matter, but you make sure you list yours.

You say you are attractive and athletic, but include a shirtless picture of yourself where your dickdo is glowing and round. Athletic boys don't have a dunlap.

the animated picture you included of kissy lips scream, "I'm a pussy"

What, may I ask, is a "true indian girl"??

Advertising in the personal ads that you need to get married right now so you can get a green card and open a restraunt may not be such a good idea.

A girl friend with benifits who recieves a monthly allowance is just another whore.

And eew to the orgasm offers. just, EEW.

New plan

So Harbucks is giving me all of 8 hours of work per week so far, and I am not comfortable enough with the job to go request hours at other stores, so I decided to re-evaluate my thought process.

I am not generally a quitter. And I have been having fun there. Also, I don't want them to say of me, "She didn't work out" like I heard about someone else.

SO. Here is the plan. It's a good one. Continue my frugal ways. Continue to eat foods from my mom's pantry (watch the letters there, monster, you DO NOT eat food from your mom's panty). Put all Harbucks paychecks towards the master card bill. Since that will not cover the minimum payment (thank you government for screwing me on that one) make sure there is enough cash in my account to make the minimum payment. That wayI am now paying almost 200 over the minimum. Which means the master card gets paid off quicker. you know, like 20 months quicker. I like this new plan.

Which brings me to another interesting thought. This might should go on the other blog, but I'm bringing it up here because I don't post there very often and I'm more likely to get a response here.

T and I were discussing debt yesterday and he made a very interesting point. That once upon a time a woman's dowery covered the expense it took to wine and dine her and get her to marry you. Since the abolishment of Doweries, there is no real return on the initial investment. (most of that is my take on what he was saying)Instead, since we live in a society that encourages debt, generally a man gets a wife and her shopping bills. He said that he has yet to meet a woman who is so good in bed that she's worth taking on her debt.

After shedding a tear that my bedroom abilities are not up to par with the level of my debt (as if I would ask a man to pay my debt) (oh, and not really. the tear part, not the debt part) I had to agree. I don' think I would want to marry a man who had a high amount of debt. Cars I can understand (to a point) House, well, yeah. Even school loans. But I blame my MasterCard debt (paid off the school loan, remember? probably not, I didn't have readership then) on me spending beyond my means. Snowboard, Gym memebrship, and well, yeah, food here and there when the good doctor was paying $11 an hour to be her office manager, but that was just a couple of years in my debt life.

Not that I am concerned with getting married any time soon. (No word from HR or the personal ads. oh well) And I wouldn't knock a guy off the list just for having debt, but I do think it's important to actively work on paying it off. To have a plan. Jeeze, I hate it that T is right all the time.

Oh, there was an intervention yesterday. I was perusing the pet ads yesterday and almost called on a kitten. I called in the troops and they talked me out of it. phew!

Weekend Update

Friday I went home and discovered that my pride and joy, my lovely strawberry plant, with all it's soon to be ripe fruits that I couldn't wait to sample, fell off the balcony, into my neighbor's porch, where the children cleaned it up and threw it away. I would have liked to have tried to salvage it. There are still little disemplanted strawberries on their BBQ. sniff. I bought a lucky bamboo at Ikea to make me feel better. it didn't work so I bitched and complained all weekend instead. It still didn't work so I bought a new strawberry plant yesterday. I'm still upset. maybe I shouldn't get so attached to my plants.

Saturday I went to the Carlsbad Flower Fields with some of the Bunco girls. C picked me up from there and we headed to Hollywood where we screened a movie that C did the poster for. Since I don't have anything nice to say about the film, I won't say anything at all. If that is not satisfying, then try this: a viniette called "How the west was won....with dildos." starring our future gov'na Mary Cary. That and the part called "Gratuitous Nudity Theater" taught me that I really do have a superior rack. Meanwhile, after the movie, we wandered aroung Hollywood, checked out Griffin Park (the road to the observatory was closed, sadly. It's the one from Rebel Without a Cause) past the LA Zoo (now I can say I have been there, even if I didn't go inside) and then to a steakhouse I am pretty sure has mob connections. They put butter, on. my. steak. the mashed potatoes (I know, I'm not supposed to have those) were fantastic. but I don't really think I needed to eat the middle course of spaghetti.

Yesterday, on my way to go buy new plants, I saw a woman in a car, holding her kid. there was a car seat in the back. I wanted to yell and scream at her. Especially when I saw her car get on the freeway.

Had a blast at Harbucks last night.

On the personal ad front, I have answered 4, and only one is still speaking to me. Well sort of. He contacted me over the weekend, but I didn't respond because I didn't know. We'll see.

what the F is this supposed to mean?

"I wish to find a lady of child bearing age that has never had an abortion"

What do you want, a baby machine? are you too narrow minded to realize that sometimes a woman (and her partner) make a decision that they aren't ready to be parents right now? you call yourself a non-conformist and say that you like sex, and yet you aren't willing to be with a woman who has made a difficult choice regarding the outcome of a sexual encounter she wasn't ready to deal with? Do you think that having an abortion means she is no longer valid or worthy? sure it's a personal decision. Sure, for some it's the wrong one, but it seems to me that a man who is looking for a liberal scientist should be open to the idea that a mature woman makes decisions about her future.

Good Gravy, I would love to slap this guy back into the stone age.

Which came first?

I found the following listing on the "Free Stuff" section on Craigslist. can anyone else see what is wrong with it?


I have two chickens, both pure breed Americuana. They are about 4 weeks old. Unsure of the sex yet, but I believe one hen and one rooster. They lay the most delicious eggs. Please let me know if you can take them. We recently added a puppy to our family and can no longer keep them. I have a 20 lb. bag of medicated chicken feed to go with them. Thanks

I'll take the rooster that lays eggs, please. I can make some serious money selling him to a sideshow.

PEE U

And I'm not talking about Potty University.

I watched The dukes of Hazzard Last night. and Corpse Bride. here are my reviews.

The Dukes: the Duke boys weren't nearly cute enough to be playing the Duke boys. I hated Sean William Scott's scruffy facial hair. The bar fight scene was way too obviously choreographed, and the acting, well, sucked. I did like Willie Nelson. And Jessica was ok. But even she admitted, all she had to do was wear short shorts and smile.

Corpse Bride just didn't live up to my expectations of a Tim Burton Film. Ordinarily I really enjoy his work. This one didn't have the soul of Nightmare Before Christmas, although the animation was great, and the musical score was lacking that toe tapping sing along spirit that a good musical should have. actually, the music was lacking completely. The only song from it I would ever wanto to hear again would be Victoria's Wedding March.

and that sums up my evening.

She put what, Where?

Apparently a woman in South America was caught smuggling one of these, along with some Marijuana. in her hoo-ha.

There looks to me like there's an awful lot of sharp edges happening to be puttin that up my cooter. My boss has assured me that it is not likely, unless she was extremely dexterous, that she could have pulled the pin on accident, but I still can't imagine having the mindframe where I would be willing to hide a grenade in my muffin.

Just in case you're wonderin, there aint no pot up there either.

I mean...

I don't look like a total freak do I? (This is the best I have...)

Must not have been his type

So, one of the men I emailed yesterday from the Craigslist personals actually emailed me back with a picture. And hey, he was pretty good looking, so I sent him my picture. you know, the one with the brown hair and the come-hither eyes. I mentioned that my hair is back to being blonde now.

then? nothing. Oh well. I have not heard from the other guy I emailed. I'm thinking he didn't like the comment I made about teaching his pet pig to fly by throwing it off my balcony. But hey, I also offered to introduce the pig to my parrot who also cannot fly, so...I also have not heard from HR. And New Girl has not gotten back to me regarding the attractive and possible single guy she met over the weekend. she herself is practically married so is unavailable.

Renamed

Hamilton has been renamed Fiona. My brother in law pulled my sister out of bed at 2 am last night because Fiona decided to have herself an adventure in the kitchen. I still think Fiona is cute, and I wandered around all morning singing (in my head) Fi-o-na was a bullfrog...do do do...

Tee hee

I answered two personal ads on craigslist today because they made me giggle. If the men who wrote them are like any of the other men (and one woman, but that was a business thing) I have emailed in the last week, they won't reply. (Except Michael who did indeed email me back and in a timely manner. go visit him.)

Still have not heard from HR. Smiled at him this morning, but that's all.

a reason

I found this comment on someone elses blog and I thought, OH, HEY! that's the real reason I'm cranky, it's not overwork and lack of sleep! no! it's:

Madwanderer said...
Holy Crap!!That is bad, bad english ;)It is their second language yes? And I really don't get that last thought of the day!Hmm cranky then? I diagnose a lack of sex as the cause

Sadly, there is no end in sight for the long dry spell. But in thinking about this, because there could be an end, I should not be willing to compromise my principles for it. In the end, I have to live with myself, and the thought of me spending any night alone curled up in a ball on my bed knowing I made a bad decision for all the wrong reasons, and feeling cheap for it, does not appeal to me.

It's possible that this post is vague. But trust me, these are issues I deal with.

Dear HR,

I know that I am not a patient woman, but when I give my phone number to a man I expect a call. or at least a reply to the email. In fact, I generally expect a reply to any email I send with questions about you, so really, you aren't making points considering the fact that I have emailed you twice and you have not replied. I know you are a busy man, and it's possible that like me, you do not have internet at home. but if the problem is, that you are waiting for the opportune moment, or you are too nervous, I must warn you that it's a good way to lose my interest. fast. Good looks and high recommendations only get you so far with me. Ask E. He'll tell you.

And the decision is...

(copied from message text from my sister)

"Hamilton was a BULLFROG (do-do-do), he was a good friend of mine (do-do-do). I never understood a single word he said, but he let me drink his wine! Joy to the world, all the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea, joy to you and me!"

Oh, and she thinks Hamilton is a girl. I just think she's cute. Congrats to my sister for her new "daughter" and to me for my niece! I can't wait to play with her! i will update you on Hamilton's new girly name as soon as she has one.

In domestic news,

Why the fuck do they make tall trash cans and no bags to fit in them? Really. I'm tired of having the bag slip down into the can. they make 13 gallon bags, 15-20 gallon cans. And no, I will not start buying 30 or 50 gallon bags. I think it's a conspirasy just to piss me off.

I got my taxes done.!If my partner gets in trouble for not claimein her $2 share of our "profits" I hereby declare that it is not my fault. Furthermore I do not want to go through this mess again next year. Having apartner isn't worth it. especially when she doesn't do anything. Please pray that I have the courage to stand up for myself.

I missed out on all the family fun this weeknd because I had to work. I'm debating whether it is worth it. I also got my first paycheck. it was a whole 60 dollars. woo hoo!

Thank goodness for tradeing

In exchange for designing my logo, C asked me to please sit for him so he could practice his portrait painting skills before he starts teaching a class in the subject. Note the unruly bangs. Should you decide you would like to be an art subject, let me know and I will be happy to direct you to his website where you can check out his work and hire him to paint portraits of you too.

posted with permission.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter. Go forth and celebrate the Rites of Spring. ps, I want this for my collection. maybe I will treat myself tonight since it's payday, even though I really shouldn't.

Not very newsworthy

the weathergirl got a makeover. I wanna be next.

This made me scream silently in horror. http://xtramsn.co.nz/news/0,,11965-5566182-300,00.html

I just realized that if you were to accidentally misspell blogger, you might end up with boogger. hee hee.

Today I am greatful for small miracles. When I put on my sweater, I saw what looked like a tag, but when I checked there was nothing there. then I felt something odd, so I reached up my shirt and pulled out my orange star spangled thong underwear. I had a giggle when I realized how hilariously embarassing that would have been if they had fallen out at work. I mean, if they were sexy and lacy, I might be able to score a date if they fell out of my shirt, but no, there's nothing sexy about the orange starry ones. Or at least I don't think so.

You know you have made it big when...

Your name makes it into the title of a comic collection.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0740749994/ucomicscom/002-0479542-7144808

For Madeline (Kahn. Not my old car)

"I'm so tired. Tired of being admired. Tired of love uninspired!"

Really, I'm just tired because I closed again last night. I know I should quit my bitching because I have learned that I am not the only one working more than one job. One woman I work with has 3 jobs and I think she goes to school too.

This is what we do in order to survive in America's Finest City. Only I live 20 miles away from Downtown in a town known for White Supremecy and it's Rodeo. T and I are having a good giggle over the fact that the Gay Rodeo will be held in my town this year. It's a place where it's not ok to be black, but they'll host a Gay Rodeo. Heh.

Next week, I'm on the schedule 8 hours. two shifts. One on Monday, one on Sunday, I close both. 8 hour work weeks are not going to pay off my credit card bill.

quiet today

haven't had much to say.

I'm loving seeing all the lilac in bloom. I had forgotten how lovely it is, I don't remember seeing any since the fires, which happened two and a half years ago. There is still alot of "damage" to the landscape, but the lilacs are back, and that makes me happy. One of the neat things I get to ponder every day is how you can have one flower in so many different colors. two bushes might be right next to each other with one blooming in a pale blueish purple, and the other, deeper and more vibrant. amazing.

My garden is looking great! I planted snapdragons and my strawberries are really going nuts with flowers and fruit. to think I had thought them dead! Jacks garden started to sprout, and my lavender plant is all over flowers. Hooray for me!

Ooh! a contest!

Zube put out a contest to design your superhero costume, so I thought I would share mine. I would like you to note that I did not extend the black trim into my crotch region because I thought it might look like pubes. Also, I am really impressed with my banana. um, banana peel.

Summin it up

We paid for our own, I tripped over a bench on the way over to eat, he spilled his drink into his food when we got there. we made casual conversation, didn't bring up baby mama, but discussed his sister. He walked me back to my double wide and suggested that we do something sometime. I said that would be a good idea.

I am apprehensive regarding the nervousness between us. It didn't go away like it should after you trip over a bench and both have a good laugh.

the end for today.

My "Nephew" Hamilton

This is Hamilton. A month ago he looked like this. Then he sprouted back legs. Hamilton provides hours of entertainment because he's really funny. You would have to see to understand. We don't know yet what kind of frog he will grow up to be.

This is Hamilton now. He sprouted his front arms the other day. Hooray for Hamilton! soon, he will not be a tadpole anymore. Sadly, Hamilton lives with my Sister in LA so I can only enjoy his development through pictures and stories. sigh.

ps. nervous about lunch.

What?Oh Crap!

I have a "lunch date" with HR.

I must have some major mojo going on because I got hit on last night by a 14 year old. I played along, I didn't have the heart to tell him I'm old enough to be his mother.

Bow to me

I have declared myself Empress. You shall all wear aprons.

And then I tried to rip my finger off by getting it caught in the outside door handle while I opened it and walked inside. it hurts all the way up my arm. apparently, I'm a rather clumsy Empress.

This one made me think of HR. There aren't any updates on that, but I agree with you guys, I don't know if I want to deal with the baggage. Time will tell. Thank you for your support and advice, as always.

Weekend update

Friday I had a meeting with my Marketing Director, and we agreed to try a conventional marketing approach for now instead of sales reps. I called C and asked how much he would charge to design my logo, and he said he wouldn't and that he was excited to do it, and flattered I would ask. For those of you that watch the OC, there was a band featured on last week's episode, and they flashed a picture of the album cover. It's C's artwork. Hooray for C! and also for Tally Hall, the band featured.

I placed my soap in my Friend Luis' floral shop, located in Ramona, California. It's called Teunis Floral. If you're ever in the area, go there, and buy lots of stuff.

I have decided to spend at least 30 minutes every day on Bubbly Creations stuff. I think it's time for me to be more devoted to my business.

Saturday night, on my way home from Harbucks, I missed my highway exit. Sigh. I will know soon, I hope, if having a second job is even worth it. I have to close both nights I work this week, which means I'm scheduled until 12:15, and I have to be back at work at 8 am. Last night I may have accidentally hurt someone's feelings. I hope she will forgive me. Sometimes, people don't take me right when they don't know me, and they don't know me there yet. Meanwhile, I will be more careful.

Last night a woman came into the store with a tiny dog tucked into her jacket. I would like to know why it is acceptable for her to bring in her tiny dog, but joe schmo can't bring in his rottweiler. Seems to me, dog hair is dog hair. I wanted to send her out of the store, but I have to be nice. She and her friends stayed a long time with that dog in the store. I think, that dogs should not be considered fashion accessories, and neither should they be brought into restraunts. (with the exceptio, of course, of helper dogs. this was a helpless dog. really.) It's an animal, not a necklace. I see them everywhere. Sure, they're cute, but imagine the looks of horror I would get if I carried my pet snake with me into restraunts and to the mall. (I no longer have a pet snake, I'm trying to make a point here) People would flip because they're "scary" but they don't shed hair and they don't make noise, and they rarely bite. funny how there is a double standard. I think the legislation should be upheld that dogs do not belong in indoor public areas, no matter how cute they are or how well they tuck into a purse, unless that area has been designated a pet friendly zone.

Multi Level Marketing

In the course of doing business over the last year or so, I have learned a lot of things. One is that just because you have a product, doesn't mean that people will buy it. That's where marketing comes in. Marketing is expensive.

My sister declared herself my Director of Marketing today. Hooray! (she's a go getter like me) I did not run this decision by my partner, she doesn't even ask how business is going. But I am happy that Shawna has joined my staff. I believe in her as much as she believes in me. And we both want to see Bubbly Creations succeed. Statistically, things look really good for Bubbly Creations, if you consider that I now have a Webmaster and a Director of Marketing. someday, I hope to be able to pay them! and me!

One of the orders of business for out phone conference this evening is the idea of how to better market my product. I will be seeing my friend who owns a floral shop tomorrow about placing my soap in his shop, but I agree with Shawna that we need more than that. And a way to stand out. My web site gets lots of hits, but not alot of sales.

We are considering whether to have sales reps, and I am researching accordingly. The following is what scares me about that possibility.

I have learned from previous experience that Multi Level Markeing is another way of saying, waste your money. I was reminded of this when I was approached by a Quixtar IBO last night. I couldn't afford to keep up with the demands of being a Quixtar IBO, or a Mary Kay Consultant, for that matter. I'm not saying bad things about either company, (well, maybe I'm a little negative towards Quixtar) but I don't like the idea of people trying so hard to make a living off of my product that they are willing to put themselves in debt.

I don't believe in Get Rich Quick, but I do believe in mutually benificial opportunities. No deceptive recruitment techniques. No expensive buisiness building materials.

So we will see how my Marketing Diretor and I are able to come up with a solution to take BC to the next level. This ought to be fun.

Clarifications

It appears that I did not properly convey my feelings regarding the HR situation. I recieved two very different comments from two men who's opinions I respect.

First, it was Mutual Friend who referred to her news as "exciting". Although, as I said, I am flattered that anyone would think so highly of me, I am apprehensive about taking this information seriously, and about the possibility of dating someone with as much baggage as he has, and with as high of an opinion of me as he apparently has. I left out a lot of details about that in my last post on the subject.

The reason I am not sure that I take this information to heart is that in 4 years of being aware of this man, we may have spoken 10 words between us. (I am being REALLY generous with this estimate. Really all I can ever remember saying to him was "Good morning, Richard") I have tried to find ways to be a part of conversation he is in, but he always leaves. I now know that he is just too nervous to speak to me, which is flattering, but does not bode well for future relations. I don't want to be with someone who is too shy to talk to me because I myself am shy and I feel very uncomfortable in situations where niether person will speak. Plus, how can he be himself around me if he doesn't think he is good enough for me? I want someone REAL. Someone on my level, not someone who has put me on a pedestal. Someone not afraid to wrestle.

One of the reasons I did not go rushing off to throw myself at him is that, as Sensei pointed out, he does have a girlfriend and a kid on the way. I accept the fact that he did not intend to be a father, and he certainly did not want to have kids with her. She took advantage of a difficult time for him, as she had moved in and gotten pregnant within a month of his mother passing away. I can already foresee mama drama from that one. especially if he and I were to start dating in a short amount of time after they break up (which, regardless of me, is eminant). I don't believe he is the type of person to run out on his kid, he will take care of it, just as he takes care of his disabled sister and, before she passed, his mother. He isn't the kind of man to turn his back on responsibility.

Which brings about another point. We all know about my struggle with the child issue. And I have been quite clear about not wanting to date someone with a kid (although E had a kid, but I never met him). However, this guy comes with strong enough recommendations that he might be worth it. Might. I would be taking on a kid and a sister with special needs. Am I mature enough to handle that? I don't know, and I will admit that I might not be.

Issue 3. T. enough said.

so I'm going to ride this one out. If he is as interested in me as he says he is, then he will approach me. I am not seeing anyone and haven't had a boyfriend in nearly a year. I think it's quite apparent that I am available. Goodness knows, I think I have made it quite clear as I have wandered through his office area wisecracking about this n that. Plus, if he wonders, there's my mother and mutual friend and other mutual friends to fill him in. I still maintain that I would like to get to know him. where it goes from there remains to be seen. BUT. I will not approach a man whom I know to have a girlfriend. I will treat him just as I always have, with politeness, same as any other man. I don't think he deserves special treatment just because he's attractive. I maintain that although I am attracted to him, he may turn out to be completely wrong for me. I will not let my fear of that get in the way of getting to know him, but I will say that it is difficult for me to be excited about his future availablity considering all the issues attached. If anything, I want to declare myself "not interested" because there are so many issues and preconceptions. I think it would be easier to date someone you just met than someone you have admired from afar for however many years.

Life. it's always interesting.

You know

You know I am tired when I come home from job #2 and try to use my car remote to open my front door.

It's only my first week. I hope I get into the swing of this.

Just like High School

So, mutual friend pulls me away from my facinating filing duties today to tell me something very exciting. I asked if I won the lottery, but she said no.

Apparently, Handsome Richard (the OTHER Handsome Richard, Rich) thinks I am just IT. But doesn't think he is of my caliber so he doesn't approach me. (My reply? I wander around tripping over my own feet and talking about farts, how can anyone not be of my caliber??)

Yes, he still has a girlfriend (they are breaking up) and yes, she is still pregnant.

What will I do about it? nothing. This is a man who leaves the room when I enter it because he is too shy to be around me. I am flattered and excited, but I have to refer back to my original feeling, "How am I supposed to get to know someone who won't talk to me?"

He asked mutual friend if he should approach me and suggested that perhaps he could do it at her wedding. (which she has told me about but not really invited me to. It'll be in Vegas. I love Vegas!) Her wedding is in August. It's April. yeah. He even asked if she thought I would bring a date. (um, based on current statisitics, the answer is no). Seems to me like August is really far away when you are as interested in someone as he professes to be with me.

In fact, when my ex comes on TV (yes, I have an ex who is sometimes on TV. I don't mention it very much because I say other stuff about that ex that is private) HR changes the channel. I think that's funny. But how would he react to my continued friendship with T, C, and D? Granted, if I had a boyfriend, the R rated conversations between T and I would end, but regardless, I still want his friendship, even though it is painful sometimes. But it would be less painful if I had someone else to ponder.

I don't know. I just thought I would share. Gotta go, Harbucks is calling and since I haven't eaten anything yet today (gobstoppers don't count) I need to make sure i have plenty of time to heat up a corn dog.

Hee hee

Searching for herbs in my area, I found a listing for the following:

Phat Dong

I'm going to hell.

Overalls

Spinning Girl (http://elevenpointfive.blogspot.com) brought back some memories today. The first was about fashion plates, which my sister, cousin, and I would play with for HOURS (no minutes) and since Shawna and I's set (really I think they were her's but I got to play with them too) and Lisa's sets were different, and some of the plates were interchangeable, we had way more than tens of outfits. or, at least it felt like we did. and, as with everything we did, Shawna's designs were always so much cooler than mine.

But that is not the big memory. The big memory is overalls. Now, I am too young to have worn overalls when they were"in", but I did get a hand me down pair from Lisa just after they went "out" (Lisa was bigger than me back then and I got her old clothes. She got her clothes from the rich girl downstairs, so you can imagine I was always WAY out of style) Since I didn't understand style, and even if I did, it wouldn't have mattered because I had all the "perfectly good" clothes from Lisa, I wore those overalls anyway.

Those overalls were a couple of sizes too big. Not because Lisa was that big, but because they just were. One day I realized that they were sizable enough to put both my arms down the sides at the same time.

Of course I showed Shawna and Dana my new trick. (Dana is the cousin that periodically lived with us. In my family, a cousin is like a sister that doesn't live with you. Except for when they do)

Of course one of them pushed me over. Then I was stuck. on the floor, arms locked inside my pants. Probably laughing, I don't know. But certainly unable to get up. I can't remember how I did it, but it must have been fun to watch. I sure think it's funny now. I don't think I put my arms down the sides of my pants anymore.

need.sleep.

because I slurped down a carmel macchiato at um, 9 pm last night and let me tell you, I went home, planted Jack's garden, played with Baby, cleaned my bathroom, comtemplated my kitchen (breifly) contimplated my soapmaking, showered, read, and then laid in bed. when I did sleep, I dreamed of work. when I woke up, I worried for a long time about what I might have done that was wrong, and how when I mopped up a latte mess, I didn't move the music display because it was too heavy and there was latte still under it.

I know I am neurotic, and a worrier. And I am really excited about this job because it's going to bail me out of financial discomfort, but dreaming about it goes too far. Then again, I would be really embarassed if I got fired from Harbucks. Well, I would be embarassed to get fired at my other job too. Really, mostly I don't want to get fired. which means I should, actually, go back to work.

Rest in peace bunny butt

Saturday I performed the difficult duty of taking my darling pet in to be put to sleep. By the time he went in, the eye you can see in this picture was red, puffy, runny, and full of pus. I would have liked to have been able to afford to continue with the medications and possible operations, the truth is, that I can't. because it was a choice between paying my bills and taking care of the rabbit.

I feel guilty about it even though I know I shouldn't. I remind myself that part of being a responsible pet owner is knowing that when an animal is suffering (and he was), sometimes it is better to let them go on to the summerland and be off to the next adventure. It is comforting to me that he is now in my vision of the summerland, in the middle of the big grassy field, running around my feet and nibbling my toes for attention. I doubt he will be there when I get there, since I would think that the soul turnaround time for a rabbit isn't very long (how long do you have to rest after the strains of being a caged bunny?) but I can still visit him in my head, and I like that.

Jack was a good bunny and a wonderful companion. Even when he munched carpet. I will remember him fondly and often. It's hard to look at the place where his cage was, but since I am making a planter out of it, I will be able to look at the flowers on my porch garden and think of him.

It will be a bloggeriffic day

Every Monday morning, I check in at www.postsecret.com to read the new secrets that have been posted. Sometimes, they speak to me, sometimes they break my heart. I found this one very interesting because the subject of this very thing came up in conversation this weekend.

A friend of mine told me that her brother in law has to get nakid in order to do his bathroom business. So does her son. It's a compulsive behavior that I had never heard of before, and I would love to know the psycological reason behind it. Unless the man above is my friend's brother in law, then it appears that this is something that may be more common than I thought. I think I will send her this picture so that she will know that her family is not alone.

in short

I think I will like Harbucks, I burned my tounge on hot expresso, they made me drink coffee. black. bleh. I'm a sweet girl, not a bitter one. But it's my job so drink it I will. Coffee school sunday, slumber party tonight. I will talk to you more monday I hope.

Ahh. Relief

I start at Harbucks tonight. I wish I hadn't spent my first paycheck on uniforms for it, but knowing that the extra cash will be coming in makes me feel very happy. When I talked to my manager today and she said "clock in" I nearly jumped for joy. the only damper on my thrilled demeanor is that this will likely put me in another tax bracket. Which means I'm gonna get it bad come tax time next year even though I don't plan to see any of the money I make. Too bad they don't have a deduction for debt repayment. maybe if they did, more people would work on paying off thier debts.

Memories

I have been in the process of cleaning out my storage unit this month. Once I started putting everything in my already crowded apartment, I realized that if I am going to continue to exist comfortably, the stuff is going to have to go.

One of the things I attacked was my old letters and cards. I didn't stop to reread them all, that would take forever. and I did save a few. Here is what I discovered.

That I don't think I appriciated my boyfriend from way back very much.

Here is what I remember. That he was very nice, and very attractive, but that once I went away to Americorps, he wasn't nearly as interesting anymore. I remember that in some ways he used to annoy me.

Here is what reading a few of his letters to me told me ten years later. That I wasn't as ready or mature enough to deal with a boyfriend and all that entailed as I thought I was. I have always known that I didn't handle things correctly (I stopped taking his calls, then I broke up with him in the Parking lot at Home Depot). But I think that he really cared about me and that he was very concerned with my happiness. I think he was a really sweet man, and that I took him a bit for granted. I don't think I worried nearly enough about his happiness. And while I know that we weren't meant to be, it's interesting to look at who we both were ten years ago and finally appriciate him.

He will never know that, of course, we don't speak anymore, since he got married. However, while I have always wished him and his wife (and family) well, for the first time, last night I realized what a truly lucky woman his wife is, to have found and married a man like him.

oh

and I guess you can call the hair blonde now. not yellow like before, but blonde.

The trip

ordinarily I don't have a problem with Blogger. Today, I had this post all done, and it didn't publish and I can't retrieve it. grr.

I took thursday off and went to LA to mee my sister and her husband. It wasn't until I had been there awhile that i realized that I forgot my pills and my hairbrush. The hairbrush I can live without, but the pills keep my hormones normal so I had my wonderful friend who was feeding the critters overnight them to me. We reached Carson City at about 3:30 am.

Friday I awoke and went upstairs to see a beautiful view for the Sierras from the back porch. I had never seen them before. We laid about all day Friday. It was really nice to just relax. By the time everyone arrived, there were 12 people in the house, and it didn't feel a bit crowded. My Aunt and Uncle's home is very welcoming, and I felt completely comfortable there.

Saturday it snowed! and I witnessed snowfall for the first time. I don't consider flurries. We headed up for a half day on the slopes, and after complaining a lot, I rediscovered how much I enjoy snowboarding. It was windy and snowy, but the powder was fresh and deep. It didn't really hurt when I fell on it. I was left with a frozen smile. That night we headed into Carson City for Contra Dancing. way fun. And only slightly embarassing when my slippery borrowed shoes got tangled up in my long skirt and I fell on my face. The impact made my ganglian cyst bigger, but I got right back up laughing and continued the dance.

Sunday, sadly, it was time to go. We left the lovely Carson City. I would have liked to have spent more time, and I have to say that I would consider moving there if I were to leave San Diego, but you know how it is. real life beckoned.

The drive down the 395 was gorgeous. I never did get to see Lake Tahoe, but the other lakes I did see on our return made up for it. Mono Lake was my favorite. It reflected the sky like a mirror. We passed many historical sites. I would have liked to have stopped, but it was getting late. next time though. I finally arrived at my house around 11:30, and I went strait to bed!

Yesterday and today I am like a new woman. Rested and happy. This morning I even gathered the courage to wack my wrist on the bathroom counter to deplete my cyst (this is the doctor recommended method of cure. actually, he told me to whack it with a bible) and although it hurt like mad, it did go down quite a bit. it's still sore though. AND, I'm proud to say that when the conversation jokingly turned to the idea of T stalking me, and I offered to leave him cookies, he said "only if you want me to stay" and I said, after surpressing my urge to keep my fingers quiet, "I always want you to stay" the joking resumed after that, but at least I said what I was feeling for once. fat lot of good it did, but you never know, right?

I'm looking forward to going home and purging the crap some more tonight. You wouldn't believe some of the things I have held onto over the years. Cleaning out my storage unit has really opened my eyes to my habit of keeping everything, and I am actively working on getting rid of all the extra.

I went shopping last night for Harbucks uniforms, and discovered that Target only carries cropped pants and Old Navy only carries pants for skinnybutts. Damn them both. I tried men's clothes, but they don't fit right either. sigh. I guss I will have to make do with what I have for now. I hate clothes shopping.

I'm not ignoring you!

I'm just busy. but I hope that tomorrow I will be able to regale you with stories and perhaps pictures of my Carson City adventure.

So my coworker comes to me today to tell me that there's a really nice guy that is a vendor here who is recently divorced, and hey, how's about him.

I replied that he does seem to be very nice, and that he's looking a lot thinner lately, and that if he continues his downward trend, I might be interested.

She could not believe how shallow I was being. She said it should be about brains and personality, and not about looks.

I see it this way. It's looks that initially attract us to someone. Then, the rest is important. This guy in question was not ugly before. I just tend to be attracted to skinny men. It's how I am wired. I would never tell a man I am not interested in him because of his weight, that would be cruel. I am always happy to make a new friend. I also recognise that there are likely men out there who see me and think, "she would be attractive to me if she lost a few pounds" I don't want them to tell me that, but I know it is true.

So perhapsI am being shallow by temporarily dismissing this gentleman. but I also don't think it would be right to go out with him knowing that I am not attracted to him. I did that this year already and it felt like crap.

Kind of a moot point anyway considering he's never approached me for anything. Maybe he's waiting until I drop a few more pounds!

Cowardice

no. I didn't tell him. But we had a nice time. Korean BBQ. tasty, but it completely derailed my digestive system.

I'll be out of town over the next few days, I don't know if I will be able to blog. Carson City, here I come! Let's just hope my body settles down between now and tomorrow when I have a 10+ hour drive to accomplish.

Was it manipulation?

Because I did't want it to be. here's how the conversation went: (not verbatum)

Me: are we still on for dinner?
T: Maybe, what time will you be finishing tonight? because I have to get B's son B a birthday present.
Me: I'm thinking 6 or 6:30. If you don't have time, we can forget it...
T: No I promised you dinner, it would not be cancelled only postponed. we can wait for that other thing we were going to do eventually...
Me: right.
T: Where is your meeting tonight?
Me: Clairmont (you know, like 3 miles from your house, which is why I agreed yesterday that perhaps we could have dinner tonight)
T:Call me when you are finished. Any idea what you would like?

and so on.

See, I am not the kind of woman who likes to manipulate, but I responded the way I responded so he would know I am angry and hurt. (I am passive agressive that way) But I didn't want to guilt him into seeing me this evening. He's not the sort to feel guilty or do anything he doesn't want to do, but I am the sort to keep my dates whenever possible so it angers me when they aren't kept with me. Especially by persons who know how mad that makes me. don't give me the brush off, just tell me if you don't want to be around me, you know?

damn

I broke down and asked about dinner. oh well.

Bunnicula

Still have the rabbit, the vet wants to see him. he suggested that a gland I cannot pronounce and have never heard of (I took honors credit in Bio, so it's not a matter of not knowing the endocrine system) is working overtime or something. ay yi yi.

In matters of love?
I'm going to let T go ahead and contact me about dinner tonight, because although a little voice in my head is telling me I'm playing games, if he really wants to go, he'll mention it at least. He's on a job walk right now, so he has an excuse for not bringing it up yet. I'm tired of chasing, because I keep tripping and falling and it hurts. And yes, I know there are plenty of fish in the sea, and I would really like to meet a good one. but the good single men are like me, they're tired of the bar scene, tired of the freaks on the internet, and have resigned themselves to staying at home with the TV (TEE vee) where, of course, we are not out meeting each other.

Microwavable pork rinds

Saw em at wal mart. eew.


on a more serious note, those who know me know that it is a rare day when I lie. I can't bear to do it, unless it's to save my ass, in which case, by law, it's ok. (I don't mean legal law, I mean life law) I feel bad when I lie, even small ones, and find that it's easier in the long run to be truthful as much as possible, having learned the hard way that eventually lies will catch up with you.

But on days like today when my heart is screaming in agony, I can't help but tell people I'm ok when I'm really not because it's so much easier to swallow my tears than to explain them, and make them worse. People tell me I should let my emotions show, that I shouldn't bury them until later, but truthfully, in a professional world, that just isn't acceptable.

Thank goodness for my blog, it lets me talk without telling me I'm an idiot (I leave that to my comments) truth is, I know in my brain that I would be better off not chasing hope, but my heart just won't listen. It has always wanted most the things that it cannot have, and T is no different. He says little things to me that keep my hope alive, whether he knows it or not. And then there are days like today when all that gets smashed to smithereens. My ego is fragile, it doesn't take much.

Will I regain the courage to talk to him tomorrow? I don't know. Will I confront him about how much it hurts me when he reschedules? Likely not unless it comes up. I fI want to look on the bright side (hee hee Zube) At least he rescheduled. Perhaps I should be more proactive about it, perhaps I should kick his ass about it. I don't feel like kicking butt. I feel like crawling back into the cave I was in yesterday for some personal healing. Go visit for awhile with the friendly ghost that lives in there.

Chances are, that if I confronted him, I would lose it. Times like these, dignanty is all I've got.
funny how I can have something and not be able to spell it.

Dear T

How can you have forgotten dinner tonight when it is all I have been able to think about for a week? I know I should take the hint, and I shouldn't take it personally, but I do because I care so much. In fact I was ready, finally, to tell you that I care still. To take that leap I have been so terrified of taking because I am so afraid of being rejected. But i've been telling myself that I'll never know unless I try. But, you know, your laundry, that's important. Far more important than keeping a date with me. priorities. right.

Bunny update

If you look closely you can see the Pus in Jack's eye.

he's getting worse. I noticed yesterday that there is a considerably larger abount of pus in his eye. it's bright white instead of yellowish, and it almost completely obstructs his vision. I also noticed that the eye is weepy.

Since I have read about the symptoms of pasturella, I know that the nickname for it is snuffles and that it causes runny bunny noses. So when I noticed his eye last night, I checked his forepaws for signs of snot. There didn't appear to be any, but I looked at his nose and it looks damp, which is not right, bunnies don't have wet noses.

What is the answer? I don't know. I need to call the vet tonight and find out what my best course of action is. He told me before that the next step would be bunny opthamalogist, but I don't think I want to spend the money. I feel wrong thinking of my finances before the life of another living creature, but I have to be realistic and logical. I had hoped that the medications would clear up his problems, but all of the websites I have seen have suggested that there really is no cure for pasturella and that long term medications is the only answer. I have also read that the only way to clear the pus is to scrape it out. surgically. I have not started my new job yet, so funds are still tight, and will be until I get my first paycheck. (and even then, I don't really know how much I will be making...)

I know what T would tell me to do (he's one of my more logical friends, often playing the voice of reason to my wild ideas. well, really most of my wild ideas have something to do with gathering more pets...) I'm sure if I asked, he would do it for me and save me the cost of euthanasia. It's not like the gopher, I can't just hook Jack up to boy roomie's tail pipe and let the carbon monoxide take care of him. He's my pet, you know?

However, I need to figure out what to do soon because I see conflicting reports on the affect that pasturella can have on humans and birds. Losing Jack would be hard. Losing Jack AND Baby would be even harder. She's a tough old bird, but it is a respratory ailment, and birds have delicate lungs. come to think of it, so do I...

Blogging Montage

and so the topics shall spew forth from my fingers with no connection to each other whatsoever... (hee hee, I said spew)

Yesterday I booked my first wedding! I'm thilled and honored to marry my friends.

oh crap, I just forgot everything I was going to talk about.

An important Reminder. Ladies, Monday is Steak and Knobber day. don't forget to treat your man. Unless he's a vegetarian, in which case he probably doesn't like blow jobs either so you're off the hook.

Happy St Patricks Day. I know I should not celebrate the day that St Patrick drove all the "snakes" from Ireland since it's been suggested that it's a eufamism for the removal of the Druids, but, I can't help it that I like to wear green, I don't like to be pinched, and for most people, St Pattys isn't about religious issues, it's about green beer and corned beef. ooh. maybe I'll make corned beef and cabbage in my slow cooker for dinner! (maybe it's too late to have it for dinner tonight, but there's always tomorrow!)mmm. corned beef and cabbage.

I just checked my email, and there was SPAM in there that was sent tomorrow.

There was indeed lots more, but I'm still forgetful and I should be working.

Crazy days

This is the cake I made for my mom's birthday. Note the half dead african violet. I really did try to do well by it, but since it's 2 years old and already survived the cat eating it, and moving 3 times, if it dies, I understand.

At my mom's party, the following conversation occurred. I think it's funny, so I am going to share:

(we were ordering take out chinese)

Momi: I like Mushroom Chinese Mushroom!

Me: I like Mushroom Chinese Mushroom!

Lee: I like Mushroom Chinese Mushroom!

Eric: I like Pork Fried Rice!

Lee: I think I'll get Shrimp Fried rice!

It flowed like poetry. Guess you had to be there.

The following terms/insults also floated around freely. Feel free to pick them up and use them when appropriate

Vagina drip

Moose Clit

Possum Pecker

and always my favorite, twat nose.

I love my family.

Harbucks

Had my second interview yesterday and I'm hired!

T got invited to submit his resume here: www.globalprinciples.com on one hand I'm excited because it would be perfect for him, on the other hand, it's in Alabama. And I was just about ready to tell him how much I care. But I won't let that stop me, no siree, because I think that's the next step in my healing process, even if it means I'll rip my heart open all over again. He isn't getting his hopes up, but I think he really wants it. que sera.

on the less fun front, last night I was shaving my legs (finally) and I thought I whould hit my toes, not because I have hairy toes, of course, there's just a few hairs on two of my toes and well, I knicked them pretty good. bandaid good. so now I have Harry Potter toe rings. the left one glows in the dark. not the cut, the bandaid.

today is my half birthday. happy half birthday to me. I baked my mom a birthday cake, becaue it's her full birthday, but the second layer didn't come out of the pan very well so it's a bit of a mess. I guess that's what I get for rying to be fancy. pray for the peanut butter frosting, it's next on my list.

tee hee

a news quote:

"Hood lives in the Licking County town of Granville, about 25 miles east of Columbus"

part of the reason it's funny is because he was arrested for making lewd prank phone calls. hmm. I think I might want to move to licking county too...

one, two, three, Backlash!

I would be willing to place money (if I were the betting type) on the idea that this is going to be called cruel and unusual, and an infringement on the rights of this man.

I say, good for the judge, the man is an ass.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,187427,00.html

funktified

you know I'm in a funk when I need to go play with the drunk guy to make me smile. I love it when he yodels.

http://wagenschenke.ch/ click on "play home run". I know that unless you read german, it won't make sense, but if I can figure it out, so can you. my remembered record is 17 meters.

This morning I couldn't find anything to wear. and I'm wearing fullbutts instead of thongs and they're all bunchy under my nylons. I forgot to take my pill wednesday night so I didn't shave last night because I thought it was wednesday instead of thursday. Yesterday I thought it was friday when I woke up and I actually used "you can sleep in tomorrow" as consolation for having to get out of bed. then reality hit. but I still had to get out of bed. Truly, I would go home early today if I could. But I can't, so here I am, blogging and becoming increasingly stressed about the work I am not doing, but having no motivation to actually get it done.

Lovely.

Hail No! (I mean yes)

It was just hailing outside. I remember when I lived in a colder more country place (two valleys to the west of where I am sitting right this moment) it would hail and be cold and dry enough that the hail would stick and we could go outside and make hail balls. but we never threw them at each other. We did keep one in the freezer for a little while though, once. Sometimes, in shadowy places the hail would remain for a few days and I would pretend it was snow.

In a rare moment of pure childlike fun, I ran outside with my umbrellelelela so I could experience it properly. it was joyful. I wanted to stay out a little bit longer, but my little black heels don't keep my feet very warm and I didn't want anyone to ask why I was standing randomly on my porch in the hail with my umbrella. in other words, adulthood barged in on my childlike time.

And it just occurred to me that I need to find that same childlike wonder in as much of life as I can because life isn't about perfection, it's about art. and true art is not perfect, regardless of what C thinks.

Speaking of C, yesterday was his birthday. I was invited over to his mom's for friends and family time. but none of his other friends showed up. it was awkward. I know his family was wondering (again) what the heck I was doing there. One day I will learn not to keep making the same mistaks over and over again. I tried to put it into perspective, but it didn't really work. I realize that C and T are the only exes I have that I hang out with outside of group settings. Sadly, that sparks hope in the T department.

Speaking of T, all conversations have remained G rated since I admitted that it hurts me to have those conversations with him. HOORAY for me!

chocolaty goodness

my friend christin brought me some lindt bugs and bees. she had no idea I am having a beetle problem, but we had a good giggle. and now I have to try not to eat them all at once.

I really should be working right now since I spent all day vendorsitting, but I lost my steam looking happy while I was vendorsitting.

I went on an interview with Harbucks yesterday. I think it went well. they seemed a little intimidated by my business suit (I wear them to work) and one of the interviewers kept looking at my chest. I don't know why, the girls weren't on display. all I want is a night job. if allowing him to look at my boobs will get me hired, I think I can handle it. I know many find them evil, but it looks like it would be fun to work there and "Barrista" sounds so exotic. I'd be a bellydancing barrista!

Ooh! I almost forgot!

Remember how I told you about that friend of mine that fell off the face of the earth and I thought perhaps it was a religious issue? He found me on MySpace! hooray! It was really nice hearing from him. I can't wait to find out what he has been up to, the man has adventure wherever he goes!

Searching for ???

Gary said something the other day in a comment he made, and I have been pondering it ever since.

He said that I appear to be searching for something, and that he hopes that I find it.

So I started looking at myself and my life and I started wondering what it is that I am looking for. And I think I might know the answer. I am searching for a purpose.

Growing up, I was the oddball. I was the one who didn't feel wanted, didn't feel important, and I felt like everyone was just waiting for me to screw up. To drop the baby and cause irrepairable damage, to burn the house down. I was actually told once, when I was in junior high, that my step dad believed that if the house was buring down around me, that I would just sit there and watch it happen, and perish in doing so. He actually worried that I wouldn't have the initiative to remove myself from a burning building.

I now know that they were wrong about me. I knew then too, but now I will gladly shout it from the rooftops. or at least I would if I were the shouting type. Now, my family watches and waits, but only to see me do something silly so that we can all laugh.

However, one of the scars this atmosphere left on me is that I feel the need to show that I am not the child they thought I was. I have transitioned from apparent underachiever to overachiever.

For me, this means that I think I should be doing far more with my life than I am doing right now. And I just don't know what that is. Unfortunately for the type A part of my personality, the universe does not tell us when we are fulfilling our purpose, so I wander around doing the best that I can to be useful, and I grow ever frustrated that I don't know what I am supposed to be doing. I take on more projects because I think I should be superwoman.

Every so often, I realize that with every smile, I change the world a little. and every year I live, I change who I want to be. I know that I have always wanted to own my own business, and I have and do. My dreams have grown and shrunk over the years (at one point they went multinational corperate). Dreams do that.

Add to that confusing mix of asperations (not aspirators, those are snot suckers) a desire for a life partner, travel, and maybe children (MAYBE, Shawna) and you get a person who, for all her apparent confidence is, well, lost.

So I go home each night, I knit, tend my garden and pets, I play with my imprinter and my soap, I chase carpet beetles and bake cookies (but I don't bake the beetles into the cookies because that's gross). And all through this I wonder what I should be doing because, although it's nice, and I really love being at home (except for the carpet beetle part) I think that I should be doing something to change the world or find a partner or have some kids or expand my business or...

Or, maybe realxing after a hard day's work is what life is all about. so perhaps after all, I am searching for acceptance that whatever it is that I am doing, right now, is what I am supposed to be doing and I should be patient. It's hard to be patient when you are a bit greedy and you want more, or maybe it's not that I want more, just different. But logic says that different, and more, aren't better, just different and heaven forbid, more. Even though it's not really more on my plate I want, but more out of life, because it's difficult to be satisfied with little when you think you have to make big.

The band plays on

I have carpet beetles. They crawl on me while I sleep. Then I wake up and can't go back to sleep because I feel all creepy crawly. I don't know where they came from. thank goodness for Bug Guy who will give me spray for them. The problem is, I have to pick everything up off of my carpet, and take the kids out for 4 hours. What do you do with turtles for 4 hours?

Work is very busy right now. Actually, Right now I should be working instead of blogging.

I had lots of things to blog about yesterday, but I was too busy and now I have forgotten what they were.

grumble

look out I'm mad...


grumble, grumble

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE RECORDS DOING AT YOUR HOUSE? SHOULDN'T YOU HAVE TURNED THOSE OVER TO MY LIBRARY TWO YEARS AGO? DON'T THEY BELONG TO THE COMPANY, AND AREN'T THEY PROPRIATARY INFO? DID YOU NOT HEAR ME WHEN I SAID I WANT EVERYTHING?

grumble, grumble. cabinet designers. grumble grumble. sorry for yelling, i wish it had worked.

how much??

I am the kind of girl who likes to track things. and since other methods don't seem to be working, I am going to start tracking my weight loss here on this page. You can see my ticker at the bottom. It doesn't tell you where I am starting, probably because it thinks I am embarassed by my weight. I'm not. I'm not, because I don't look like I weigh what I weigh. I carry it very well. In fact, this morning on the radio I listened to a woman who called in because she can't get a date, and yet she was turning down these men, sight unseen, because they were "pudgy" at 180. No thought as to the fact that muscle weighs more than fat, just "oh he must be fat if he's 5'11" and weighs 180." baloney.
I knowI would look fabulous at 135. I also know that according to "fitness gurus" my ideal weight is about 120. That to be a "10" I should be about 110. I'm telling you that I could starve myself and get there, but I would look like I just walked out of a concentration camp. Plus I would be very grumpy because I like food. I'm just not built that way. That's ok with me. So I like myself best at 135, and I am hoping that by tracking my loss here, I will try harder to reach my goals. Since in my mind losing weight means working out more and eating better, then I will be achieving fitness as well.

I'm 5'4" tall. I currently weigh 160. fitness gurus can kiss my butt.

puckin around

I am not a hockey fan. Not because I dislike it, but because I am ignorant to the game. I know a few things about it (kind of like soccer on ice. played with a puck. the puck is frozen. the best part of the game is when people fight. very popular in Canada). I have never been to a hockey game, although my city does have a team and I hear they are very good.
the following cracks me up about my city's team. In order to attract fans, they have giveaways. this is not odd, many sports teams give stuff away. Lets take a look at last weekend's schedule, shall we?

Friday night: T-shirt night (normal so far) and not just any kind of t-shirt, no, the first 5000 fans receive a free SLEEVELESS t-shirt. Sleeveless t shirts are not hot. I couldn't find a picture of said shirts online, but keep reading.

Saturday night: Disco night. With free afro wigs to the first 5000 fans. A-Fro wigs. in my search for the t-shirts mentioned above, I discovered something.



yes. the afro wigs were red. I suppose that it would be rather un PC to make them black. but I have to say, the blonde afro on the left is pretty funny. The red ones? I'd say it looks more like Jerome Furniture sponsored Ronald McDonald night.

Maybe I will attend a hocky game. Bring your dog to the game night is coming up, and I love puppies. I think I will skip sleeveless t shirt and disco night though. If I wanted a red afro, I'd put my hair in curlers. Who knows? maybe I could score a date with blonde afro guy.

A Hooha for Charlie!!

This has nothing to do with the proverbial pussy, I just wanted to give Charlie a treat because he gave me a lovely compliment and well, flattery gets you everywhere. I am also trying to become more comfortable using the word pussy because it's very descriptive and it's one of those words that nice girls aren't supposed to say. While I doubt I will ever be able to refer to my anatomical wonders that way (much preferring words like kitty, or hooha, but really preferring not to refer to it at all) it's a great way to describe people I know who just are a bit on the wimpy side.

Meanwhile, his Snarkiness was discussing his downstairs neighbor today and it reminded me of the reasons I never wanted to live in another apartment again, and how I am redeveloping my love/hate relationship.

I'm sure I have discussed how much I love being on my own. I don't run about nakid as much as I would like to, but it is nice to have only my own messes to deal with and all that.

But there are a few things that are a bit bothersome.

• My neighbors still vibrate, although it has stopped happening at 4 am and now they wait until 6 am when I should really be thinking harder about getting out of bed anyway. The reason behind the vibration is still a mystery. but at least the extremely loud noises have stopped and I no longer think my TV is dying in the middle of the night
• Downstairs, the kids have been getting in a lot more trouble lately.
• Someone nearby fights a lot.
• Someone nearby is a door slammer. While door slamming keeps poltergists away, well, it also annoys the neighbors. I have a feeling the door slamming has something to do with the fights. I also think it has something to do with the couple next door since none of this happened in a month of living there before they moved in.

I know I shouldn't bitch because I now don't have to deal with overflowing trashcans and my food disappearing before I can eat it and pussified boyfriends, but I'm human, and a woman. I can always find room for complaint.

I took this picture to remind myself of why I don't want any more roomates. I would like to point out that I did not create any of the trash shown in the bin, that they just kept shoving it in even though the bag seems to have dissapeared, and that I took out the trash after I took the picture.

Where did he go?

Charlie's blog has dissapeared. Maybe he got bored with the blogging world? maybe he thought no one was looking. I looked, but he was missing today. Hope everything is okay!

eek!

cute designer just popped (popped, not pooped.) by for some drawings. I'm all flustered. nothing worse than a nice face to throw me off track. Last time an attractive single designer came through it was T. and the rest is history.
I made sure I chewed bubblegum to cover my coffee breath. I watched my language. when he forgot to give me his email address to send drawings to, I told him I couldn't pull it out of my butt. (ooh, maybe that wasn't a good thing to say, but it was classic Gina so I was really just being me) and he made sure he took my card. And he said I was easy. err. actually, he said his experience with me was easy as far as finding the drawings and getting what he needed, but that's the same thing, right? right?

AND

if you farted in the swimming pool while wearing said panty hose would the air get caught in the feet, or would it aerate out the little holes in your hose? Maybe it would only get caught in the foot area if you swim faster than the speed of fart.

Ooh, here's a question for the ages

If you went swimming with your pantyhose on, would you have webbed feet like a duck? would you go faster? Is there a rule in competitive swilling that says you can't wear pantyhose in a race because they give undue advantage? It was never mentioned when I swam, but I only swam one season in high school and was only DQ'd once so I never had a chance to break that rule (if it exists) I mean, I would much rather swim against people in pantyhose than the girl I once saw at a meet that looked like she was smuggling kittens. you know. down there where her bathing suit didn't cover.

Dear coworkers,

I realize that you don't really know what I do. Basically, I record, file, and retrieve. If you drop a piece of paper in my mailbox, and you don't tell me what to do with it, I'm going to record and file it. Then I am going to forget about it because frankly, I have 7 full lateral file cabinets to keep track of, and that doesn't include the flat files or the stick files. Some things, I automatically know what to do with because, well, it's obvious because I asked you for it. You should be glad I don't shred everything that comes in without a label instead of taking my precious blogging time.