Friday, September 30, 2005

Landscape Guy?

Yeah. he's gay. still attractive. still very nice. should have known. damn.

It figures

That I would eat lunch with the cute landscaping guy on the day when I am sporting a big blonde afro and my cruise director suit.

By the way

I have decided to leave well enough alone where E is concernd. I decided that there is no real point in contacting him, and that nothing good can come of it, just as nothing good came of me checking in on him. That I should learn to leave the past in the past and focus on the present, which does not include him. Should I happen to run into him (and not because I am stalking his regular hang outs)I would react accordingly, but there is no reason to try to be in contact.

and, Good for me

I had to share this conversation.

T and I were discussing my exercize habits. I said that I need exercize to be fun, or else I get bored. hence the hula hoops and the jump rope. The following conversation followed:

T: You could try a 220volt vibrator. It would act like a jackhammer. Comfort, fun and motivation. Not to mention it would be quite a workout holding on to it.

G: ow. I've worked with jackhammers, not in my crotch, but in the usual way, and I have to say, I wouldn't want to place them in any sensitive areas. what if I went permenantly numb from all the vibration? what fun would that be? "Gee, I'm sorry, I can't feel anything your'e doing down there, my vibrator ruined me forever. But whatever you are doing, I'm sure it would feel great if I could feel it." nah.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Between a rock and a hard space

So, Bug Guy asked me to come out and celebrate his divorce and his new home tomorrow night. He asked several months ago and since I didn't want to keep dodging his events, I agreed to go. But I said I wasn't drinking, which put me in the position od designated driver.
Now, I really don't want to go. I really don't feel into the drinking and partying scene these days. I don't want to go to clubs downtown, I don't want to hit North County for dinner. I really just want to stay at home and relax. Out east where I belong. I want to sew thigs for my pregnant friends and watch sappy romantic comedys on TV.
I have no way out because I promised. I'll be stuck out until late becasue I am driving. I need to learn not to be nice anymore.

Happiness is:

Orbit Bubblemint gum. *ding*! (that was my "Orbit Comercial teeth" flashing a sparkly smile at you)

leave well enough alone?

now that I found him, and since I have not spoken to him since I ended things, should I send a how are you message? Need advice guys!

Ok. I looked. again.

But I didn't read his blog. and the picture (E) he had of himself on his page looked terrible! I found another one with that dazzling smile that was more like the boy I remembered but reading through his interests, we really didn't have very much in common, and we have less in common now. it was a good thing that I looked this time. He's calling hiself a promoter. I worry that he's back into drugs. He had that feeling about him.

That's the problem with pretty boys, even though you know it's best that they are out of your life, you never can get their face out of your head. Only this one had a good attitude too. among other assets. but I know it's better this way.

Today's quote from the bossman

"Aren't you afraid people are going to start throwing rocks at you?"

ha ha ha ha!!! (no. people have already thrown rocks at me, I know how it feels. I have nothing to fear from that)

Maybe that's not so funny to other people, but I thought it warranted an attack of bloggerriea.

bad, bad, friend

is it wrong of me to want girl roomie and boyfriend to break up because I'm tired of him leaving the toilet seat up?


So I like my new hoop, it's a fun toy. but it hurts. cuz, you know it's heavy? it's like I have an invisible bruise all around my belly.but two days after I bought it, my abs are already looking better!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I realized this today

I don't want to sound unwelcoming or uncaring, so please read this next post with the understanding that I am struggling to live in the paradise where I was born. that many of my fellow natives are moving to other states in order to live the American Dream because it's just too expensive here. That I can no longer afford a two bedroom apartmetn unless I want to live in the hood. And that a one bedroom may also be out of my reach. Not in La Jolla or a "rich" neighborhood, but in my neighborhood, where I pass by a house everyday that has weeds growing out of it's roof. with that said:

Many Hurricane victims have been relocated here while New Orleans is put back in order. Apparently, they have been interviewing them on the evening news. Many of them are expressing a desire to relocate here, and I can't really say I blame them. My coworker and I were discussing, though, how many of the people who have een displaced don't realize the cost of living here is so much higher than down south. that you cannot even rent an apartment, let alone a house on a minimum wage job. Here is my issue.

I realized today that many of the people who desire to stay here will because they are displaced victims of the hurricane. They will recieve grants and moneys donated for houseing, possibly enough to buy here. I too would like to buy here. but I cannot afford a condo despite the fact that I make way over minimum wage. In fact, T cannot get into a home of his own despite the help of VA loans.
But these people will move here, further taxing the apartment situation (rents will rise) and buying homes they can't afford using the government's money, which will inflate our housing bubble further, and make it more difficult for the people who live here to continue to live here.
No, I don't want to see the hurricane victims homeless. But do you really think it is wise to relocate them to one of the most expensive places in the states to live? Flood them into the heartland. there's plenty of room. Heck, I sometimes consider going out there too. I can buy a ginormous house there for what I would pay for a one bedroom condo here. grr.


My coworker walked up and wanted me to smell her to determine whether her new lotion makes her smell like an old lady.

Her arm shocked my nose. ow. We all had a good laugh. Not an exciting story, I know, and certainly funnier if you were there, but, whatever.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I just bought myself

a six pound hula hoop. and yes, I can use it, and yes, I will.

someone web searched

this: hilary duff is a girl and she is nakid in the bathroom and with no wall or door

and found me. I might search it myself ad see how many other sites it hits. weirdos.

There were a lot of hits...eew

Note to self

Please learn the difference between chocolate from the cookies you baked smeared on your fingers and the cut that is healing up nicely. I know the light in your kitchen is bad, but REALLY.

I thought I would try it

So I looked up my 23rd post, 5th sentence, and here it was:

"I will also miss his company."

Lovely. I hope all is well for E. he tends towards a dramatic life. I could look up his blog, but that's a bad idea still, I think.

Keeping with the theme of things I thought I would try, T and I went to the tourmaline mine on Saturday and we mined for, well, tourmaline, which was way cool, for me but a little difficult for him since he is colorblind and they kept telling us to look for "blue, pink, black, or green" he found a lot of black. But I knew I would like that so it wasn't a stretch. Afterward, we headed to a Korean BBQ place. This is where I got adventuresome. I picked some kind of beef thing (which was yummy) and cold noodle soup. The waiter, tried to tell me that many americans don't like cold noodle soup (well, that sounds like a challenge to me!) and that it's like pho. Now, I love Pho. It's my favorite soup. It might even be my favorite food. So, I ordered the cold noodle soup.

out came four dishes. in them were the following to add to my soup: cabbage, seaweed, seaweed, and potato salad. the seaweed was yummy. Then the soup arrived. It had a hard boiled egg in it, which I fed to T. (I'm not a fan of eggs unless they're wrapped in a tortilla with bacon and cheeze.) The broth was mild, and, to my surprise, cold. not just cold, ice cold. in fact, there was ice floating about in my soup. It was so cold, I didn't want to eat it because it was cold. it hurt my teeth to bite the noodles. This was so not like pho. I tried to spice it up with seaweed, but that didn't help. I ate as much as I could anyway because I was raised that way. I shared some with T (be proud of me! I shared my soup, and I ate more of it after!!) he found it strange.

The moral of the story? Soup, should be hot. I will not be ordering Cold Noodle Soup again.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Really? hmm.

according to the little machine and the charts at the Health Fair, I am fat. BUT I am aware that it doesn't take into account the PDC's and that those things really aren't that accurate anyway. but onthe happy side, I squeezed 98 pounds of pressure with my hand. Which went beyond thir scale of normalacy for a woman. So I'm fat and I have manly strenth? Or I am a good size for me and I'm super strong. you decide, I'm hungry. mmm bun bao.

My Boobs ate the crumbs

I scarfed down the donettes anyway, and, being of the crumby variety, I lost some crumbs. since they weren't in my lap, they must have fallen down my shirt. I can't find them. I looked in there, I checked the inside of my jacket. they're gone. I think my boobs ate them. either that or I'm smuggling rodents again.

just kidding, I have never smuggled rodents. Just cheeseburgers.

these are college graduates

we work in office trailers. (the people ashamed of this call them bungalows, but, they have wheels, they're trailers) We remodel them all the time. we got a request from someone who needs more space. so she requested that we take her two double wides, and push them together (removing, of course, the walls in between) because somehow, magically, this will give her more room. And for my next trick...


This morning I saw my boss eating crumb donettes. I wanted some too. now I have them, and I'm not interested in them anymore. Now I want Gorgenzola Cheeze. who the heck craves gorgenzola cheeze? I know I had some on a salad last weekend, and I have been craving the noodles from that restraunt, but cheeze? I don't crave cheeze! No, I am not pregnant. you have to be having scantliy clad physical contact with a man to be pregnant, and well, I haven't had any kind of clad contact so no, I'm not pregnant. and I don't believe in immaculate comception.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Ah, Bunco Madness

Bunco was loads of fun. No purple dildos, but loads of fun. We didn't actually play because half our players weren't there, so we drew for the prizes, passed out the secret pal gifts and shot the shit until late. I'm really glad I am getting to know this wonderful group of women.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

kool aide grin

they feed us free icees at work. My boss was making fun of my dyed red moth and lips.and I would like to go out into public after work...dangit.

something appears to be wrong

I think I broke my blog. it's stuck on that scry lady picture. All I wanted to do was answer your comments...

The problem with hanging with exes

So I went to the movies with C last night because I don't have the balls to tell him I don't feel particularly friendly towards him after all that he has done.

During the previews, one came on where some people get stuck in the desert and someone happens along in the middle of the night and tows them out.

I lean over and say "hey, that's like the time we got stuck in the desert"

and he replied, "we never got stuck in the desert"

yup. i got my exes crossed. thankfully that has never happened before.

And you will be proud of me to hear that I did have the balls to tell him I needed to do laundry and couldn't go to dinner with him.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Ok, so I know it's a rule...

That I don't date Coworkrs. but there's a couple of cute ones running around. one of them just left my office. the other one works for my mom (big no no!!) I can't help it, they're good looking men, and I am a single young female. my question to myself it, would I break my rule if one of them actually asked me out? I guess I should jump off that bridge when I come to it.

Sometimes, I have no words

except Whoa! and not in a good way.

Girl Roomie and her Boy

Said something really funny last night, but I have forgotten what it is. Meanwhile, Girl Roomie made a very yummy dinner last night and I feel well fed. YAY!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Dear Self

You have been using xacto knives for far too long to slice the side of your finger so badly. Especially since this is the second time you did it. please be more careful in the future.

a sad moment in my day

This could be my sister. Damnit Daddy, in all your selfishness, you just don't care how much you hurt us by disappearing. How could you think that we wouldn't notice? That we wouldn't care? How could you think we don't need you?

good choice, Gina

I have decided that I am better off looking for a new home on the internet than a new man.

My Weekend

Had a surreal moment when Ex-C's mom asked me how my love life was going (she had ordered some soap and I needed to call about her order. We always liked each other.)

Realized I am an asshole when I found my lye jar. I had already bought a new one. I apologised to my roomates. They laughed at me.

Spa and Casino time with my mom and sister. The thing I remember most about the spa was that the restroom stalls were nice and big. And they had very high quality toilet paper. I think a woman designed them. The Casino restraunt had fresh noodles. I ate too many because they were so yummy. there was a funny haired man at the dance club. the way he danced...well his arms, torso, and legs moved independant of each other. we just stood there and laughed. Someday, if I can ever get video on here, I will do his dance for you.

New Term: Muffin Tops. Those over the pants bulges women get when their waist band is tighter than their waist or hip size. it's an alarming epidemic. Muffin tops should be avoided or hidden accordingly.

Found a way cool rock place/tourmaline mine with my mom. we bought rocks. I would like to return there. Girl roomie and I shared the job of cleaning out the fridge. It no longer stinks. YAY!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Theresa is funny

I'm eating M&M's when I see that some of them have N's instead. so I went to my coworkers, and said, "look! I have n&n's!" her reply was, "oh, neat Gina, are those skittles?"

Then she realized what she said and we all had a good laugh. Silly girl.

I would like to strangle my roomates.

First I wanted to stranlge my roomates (this week) because I had to take the trash can to the curb at 10:30 at night on my birthday. Please note, we don't have streetlights.

Then I wanted to strangle my roomates because my refrigerator still stinks like that mysterious thing that was in the trash. I don't think I should have to clean it because I clean the refrigerator every week and I had to deal with the trashcan. and the maggots.

But last night, I wanted to strangle my roomates because when I went to make soap, or, I should say, mix lye so I can make soap today, I discovered that my lye jar has dissappeared. and the new jar I bought so I could mix two batches at once? yeah, someone drank all the juice (I had one glass) and threw it away. But no one knows who does these things. And no one can be bothered with throwing away all the old jelly jars in the fridge, but my stuff? no problem! Yes, I know that I can go buy another one. and I will after work. I just think there is a consideration issue. and I will feel very petty if I have to start labeling my food. at least no one has chugged my Henry Weinhardt root beer. it's good stuff by the way. if you're into root beer. I like root beer.

The other reason I would like to strangle my roomate (or at least shake my finger at her)(I know boy roomie has nothing to do with this one) is that her boy has been staying over every night, which I really don't mind about, but he uses my bath towel. I know this because it's wet when I get home from work and I shower at night before bed. Also, yesterday there was a big puddle of water left on the floor. and I have to keep wiping up pubes from the side of the tub.pubes.eew.They aren't mine. and I don't think they are girl roomie's because I know that she shaves.eew. man pubes.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

What? Nuh uh!

I just googled my grandmother's name, and one of the hits had something to do with a snuff film. I knew she was a bit kinky, but...

I was trying to be nice

when I helped my brother purchase an expensive item on ebay ($100 is a lot of money in my world, and still never enough of course) I worried that it would overdraw my account even though there was more than plenty to cover. voila. over drew. damnit.

I'm not really expecting a good response to this one.

But it's how I feel.

If you don't want to be treated badly because you are black, then don't tell us your black. Some of us, many of us, don't care because we really are looking at you, not your pigment. Perhaps this is easy for me to say because I am what you would call white, but if you think I have never encountered discrimination or been treated badly because of my looks, then you have another thing coming.

I know that it is difficult to crawl out of poverty. but don't blame the government for keeping you there because there are plenty of successful people out there who started with nothing and made something of themselves. But that means that they had to have the intelligence to look around them and then see the rest of the world and know that staying in a neighborhood where your neighbors call you upity for wanting a college education will not help you to be successful.

I feel for you. I want you to do well with your life. But you have to make the choices that will better your life. There are programs. There are opportunities abounding in this great nation of ours. If they aren't available where you are, then leave and find them. And then come back and develop new chances for the people you left behind. No one can or will make these choices for you. So if you choose to remain in poverty because you aren't willing to try to make your life better, or because you don't know how else to be, then don't ask me to give you special treatment. It's not about Black. It's about pride. and true pride has nothing to do with pigment. But you have to have the drive to make it better for you. To take the opportunity to better yourself.

Katrina washed away everything you owned? Then take the $2000 the government just handed you and buy yourself a new suit at Ross. Go get an entry level position in a company that is feeling open minded towards thier fellow American instead of waiting for the government to tell you it's ok to return to your one bedroom shack. If, when it's ok, you want to return, great. How wonderful that you are returning with some work experience so that you can work a better job in a city that will be abounding with new opportunities. You should still have $1950 of the government's hand out on top of what you made while you worked so it seems to me, that even though you lost everything you had, you're still better off than you were before the hurricane. Because you made the best of a bad experience. Because you can be proud of yourself. And that pride will take you everywhere. notice that none of that had anything to do with color? or gender? Yeah. it IS all about you. you making something of yourself. so do it. no one's going to do it for you.

couldn't have been better...

I spent my evening with my mom. and I could not have asked for a better birthday. Thank you all for your wishes. I feel all warm and fuzzy.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Slightly bitter

Looks like I will be spending the evening at my mom's. I wish I could say it's how I had hoped to spend my birthday, but I would be lying.

Happy Birthday to Me!!

I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in a very long time. I was finally happy about my birthday. There was a singing message on my voice mail at work, and everyone liked the cupcakes I brought. AND I now have TWO bouquets of flowers, one from the Bug Guy, and one from my mom's department. she's got the florists. (she works here too). And lots of good smellies from Bath and Body Works, which I love (I'm really trying to switch over to my own products...oh well, a gift is a gift and I know not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I had to ask if I smell badly though). and some of the girls are taking me to lunch. I'm spoiled. rotton.

I worked through a pretty big funk last night and I am feeling good about it. My feelings got hurt yesterday when T told me there was no need to make his best friend's incomming kid a quilt. I couldn't figure out why I was so depressed. But, I don't think he understands how much it mens to me to be able to give a handmade gift like that. In my culture, in my family, we make things. and when a baby is born, we show our love my making a blanket. But guys don't think that way and I need to not be sensitive about it. I'm sure Amy (baby's mama) would kick his ass for it, so unless I hear otherwse, there will be no blanket for Kai, and no email telling T what a big idiot he is. my feelings are still hurt though. I'll get over it.

I was thinking about it in the shower last night, and I know I don't paint a very positive picture of my family. I know that the good stories are about depression and suicide, drug habits, abuse, and all that. and it sounds really awful. But the majority of my family are wonderful, law abiding citizens. we love and cherish each other. Unlike many of the stories that I hear about family gatherings, ours are fun, joyful occations. We support each other through the tough times, and congradulate each other through the good times. We are, generally, all that I think a family should be. Like they said in Lilo and Stitch, "broken, but still good". So today, I wish to honor my family for all the support and love I have recieved from them all these years. They have never judged me, they have always encouraged me to grow to my full potential, and they have always loved me, just as I am. I know they aren't reading this, because they don't know about it. But you are.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Dear Everybody,

I realize that sitting at home sewing all the time does not sound like a good time to most people. But I have come to realize that not only does it relax me, and not only does it help to fill my time and my need to create, but that I am desperately trying to sew my world back together. I'm still in pieces you see, although I know it's my own fault for being a pit bull. Sewing and crafting is healing me. and being constructive with my time is so much better than laying there wondering where I went wrong and feling sorry for myself. So tonight, I will go home and sew more bunwarmers. and a potholder for T (he made the mistake of asking for one). and when it's late, I will go to bed. like last night. and most other nights. This is how I choose to spend my time. I don't have a boyfriend, and I don't have an interest in bar hopping to find one, so leave me alone. It keeps me from feeling quite so alone.

Let us please clarify something

This had to be clarified for my boss.

It's not that I mind having hair on my chest. As long as it is attached to some hot hunk of a man. I don't want hair GROWING OUT of my chest. big difference.

Oh Boy!

I just hit 1300 hits! Woo hoo! I know that's not a lot, but it's enough to make me feel loved. so thank you.
Time goes a lot slower when you're actually working...

Old Habits

It's been about 1 month since my watch died, and I have been without one ever since. I still check my wrist every time I want to know the time. and every time I do it, I feel like a big idiot. oh well.


My roomate and I chatted. She's not angry that I burst into her room (I didn't think she was) and I can still burst in whenever I want although I don't think I will, or at least, I'll check the street for strange cars before I do.

I have a web address for the business, but no site. I'll keep you updated.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Inspired by Julie

The jootastic one( inspired this wonderful idea. Clothing designers, please listen;

You should design clothing for big breasted, but otherwise small people. we would really appriciate it. The reason I think this is because my boobs no longer fit in my large size shirts. but if the arms were any longer on them, I'd look like a four year old in daddy's shirt. Now, I know I could get all my clothing tailored, and I really should, but I don't think it is fair that I should have to pay extra because I'm not a b cupped size two. I could be wearing a medium if not for my chichis. I am not fat, although i could stand to lose a few, but honestly, even when I do lose a few, my boobs stay big, so please, someone out there, please. You'd make a bundle if you would design cute clothes for those of us with boulders instead of pebbles.

It was a good weekend. Strange, but good.

I passed out at 9 pm on Friday night watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks.
Spent Saturday with my sister and mom. Learned that my Paternal Grandmother once had a "thing" with my mom's uncle. Eew.I knew Ma liked her men, but Uncle Fred? That's just wrong somehow.
Burst into Girl Roomie's room yesterday to drag her out of bed and discovered that the reason she was still in bed was because she had company. Won't be doing that again.
Remember how I said that the smell from my trash can was enough to gag a maggot? well, apparently it wasn't because there were maggots in there when I cleaned it out on Friday. they were like, 1/2 an inch long. Thankfully dead by the time I got to them.That night I caught a ginormous black widow in my laundry room.
On the funny front, I explained to my mom yesterday how clit pierceings work, got my first drunk dial on Saturday from Bug guy, and, watched my cowboy fan step dad gallop around the living room slapping his ass and screaming "Spank the Monkey!!" He was very excited about yesterday's win against my Chargers, and didn't seem to understand that spanking the monkey has very little to do with Football.
On the business side of things, my Catalog went out on Friday, and my friend Randy called me Saturday and offered to set me up with a website. I've been jumping for joy ever since. AND I got some catalog orders!
Good Times, Good Times.

Friday, September 09, 2005

The American Dream

In keeping with the depressing theme of today's posts, I would like to remark on the following.

Real Estate. I'm not sure who is buying it, but I do think it is out of hand. In my neighborhood, it is priced so far out of reach that I don't even think I could buy if I had a husband who made what I make cash wise. The only decent possiblity I saw today was out. in. the boondocks. which could be ok, but it would be 90 minutes from work, and right on the border. No, not the county border, the country border. and not the happy Canada border. the Mexico border, where people are always trying to come over here. not that I can blame them, but I don't think it is a good neighborhood for little old delicate flower me. My desert property is close to but not on the border and scary people come through there sometimes. with big scary guns. and the park ranger? just nodded his head. he knew!
I don't think that a little two bedroom house in the semi country should be too much to ask.

Feeling older

I'll be 28 on Wendesday. 28. I know it's young. but I feel old. maybe because everyone else seems to be moving forward, and when people as me what is new, I generally tell them it's the same old thing. then I give them a soap catalog.
I also know that I cannot keep comparing myself to everyone else, bacause their life isn't nessesarily a good life for me. but it's human nature to want what other people have (hence we invented debt) so here I am. almost 28. and not particularly excited about my birthday this year.


So, my ex D who has a website, has pictures that change every time you open his homepage. One of the scrolling pictures is of his cat. (and me faintly inthe background holding her up for the camera)

Here is the story of how she came to be in the family. I got a cat. He moved in with me swearing that he didn't want to have anything to do with my cat. Then, he decided he wanted a cat. So we got punchline and we each had a cat. (in 600 sq ft of living space. ugh)
During the course of our five year relationship, he, in his unsteady life decided that he could no longer care for his cat (we weren't living together anymore at this point) and instead of letting him take her to the pound, I took over. I should make it clear that after we broke up and he started making good money, he did help out with Cat Support.
I loved that cat. but, as can happen, I had to give away both my kitties, as I am sure I have mentioned before. When I opened his site today, there she was staring at me, and I suddenly missed her very much. Right down to the way she drooled all over when she got some good attention. I don't miss stepping in kitty puke first thing in the morning, my I do miss my girls. The bunny isn't the same. Neither, bless her heart is the bird.
I know the cats are better off where they are, they get lots of attention and Nuy eats nothing but salmon these days. It was just hard, a moment ago to see Punchline looking out at me from the World Wide Web. It would be nice to snuggle her one more time.

It's going to be a bloggeriffic day

I had a nice time last night. I did not go home mopey. Actually, I didn't even make myself cute to go, I threw on some comfy clothes, complete with ancient T shirt, did not powder my nose, and figured, eh, why bother?
Learned that T once sported the traditional Canadian Hockey Player Mullet (sadly, he thinks all pictures were destroyed) and the MXC is the most hilarious show I think I have ever seen on TV. From the naughty terminology to the painful falls, to the cheezy names (one host is named Captain Tenille) I could have stayed there and watched that show all night. unfortunately for me, TV watching is the only thing that would have been going on all night, but today, unlike two days ago, I'm ok with that. I'm getting very tired of my mood swings. I feel like a broken record.

My God, what is that stench?

Oh I'm sorry, that would be my house. much apologies, here's a complimentary gas mask.

I came home from work the other day, parked in my carport and headed towards my house. Since Monday was a Holiday, this must have been Tuesday. I smelled something. it was stinky but somewhat I followed my nose (It always knows!) to the source, which was the trashcan and figured that someone threw something bad away,but at least it's in the trash can.

Wednesday the stench hit me as soon as I got out of my car. Boy roomie thought he might have possibly put something bad in there, and wheeled the can out to the curb. Which was upwind of the house so I had to close all the doors and light candles. But, at least trash day is on Thursday, right?

Nope, trash guy didn't come yesterday, so after another day in the warm Lakeside weather, the stench of my trash can now can be smelled for at least 75 feet in any direction. And the roomates keep leaving thier windows open, and the front door too. It's enough to gag a maggot. It's very embarassing because I live in the kind of neighborhood where people take evening and morning walks. and I live in the stinky house.

Worse? I'm sure you can guess who will end up climbing inside the can to scrub it out if the stink sticks. It is no longer cool that boy roomie caught a delicious bass. You would think that people would know to throw thier fish guts away far far from thier home. Or, as T suggested, in the neighbor's trash.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

likely another upsetting evening

heading over to T's to watch the game tonight. He doesn't mind if I knit while I watch football, so we're good. we'll see. I hope it turns out more like sunday then last night.

Crumbled Cookies

the driving range was closed when we arrived.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Dear Fellow Women,

Throwing yor feminine garbage behind the toilet is not the same as disposing of it properly. The little white can is right there. I don't like touching it either, but I do because it's proper, and then I wash my hands. with soap and then I feel a little better. Please follow suit.

The Monster.

I don't golf

I Mini Golf and pretend that I'm on a real golf course when I whack the ball around. But in general, unless it's goofball golf, like I play goofball tennis, I don't want to do it. I'm a silly individual. When I play anything (except music) I like to have fun with it and sports, especially golf, are one of those things that I think people take far too seriously.
So tonight, T and I are going to the driving range. since he doesn't take golf particularly serious, I think we will have a nice time. I'm looking forward to it, even if it is for the wrong reasons. But, at least I am not advertising falsley, I told him I'm not all that into the game, that I am not likely to take it seriously, and he still invited me to go.
And we have a camping date set for October. And yes, I will be taking my own tent. I'd rather err on the side of not humiliating myself in the middle of nowhere than assume anything will be happening that would constitute sharing sleeping space.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


Walking around I kept thinking to myself, "Gee, it seems I have a hole in my sock". When I took my shoe off I discovered not one, but THREE little piggies pokeing out and smiling at me. three. How did I wear three holes in my sock by noon?

Butt grabbing fun

So my family is at Disneyland. And at Disneyland with us is a high school group, which isn't suprising since I used to go every year with my choir. As we are walking through New Orleans Square, we see a few boys playing statue. They're pretty good, but no match for my sister and I who, in this picture are dareing each other to take a pinch. Or flash some boobs. We didn't do either (It's a family park!!)but we got the boy in question to giggle a bit. not as funny as if he had screamed and run away, but definately worth the time.

It doesn't get any better

than the wonderful ways people are finding my blog.

Search Term
penile decoration
hairy chests
becoming a non-denominational minister
jootastic (funny since i don't even think Julie reads this)
jessica simpson nakid
leo rooster
aquarius man pisces woman marraige
monster pictues
why husbands are assholes
what to wear when meeting an ex (apparently a very low cut shirt...)
butt grabbing (ah ha ha ha ha! I'll post a picture story for this one.)

A conversation I don't think I have ever had before

on the way back, it's a long drive, T suddenly asked me the following rather supriseing question:

"Did you fart?"

Shocked I said no. and after thinking about it, asked what brought that about.
Apparently there was a smell I wasn't smelling and he thought it was me.

I guess that's a new level of comfort if you can ask your female friend if she farted.

I have them, so I flaunt them.

The rest of my weekend trned out really well and I am in an exceptionally good mood today.
Sunday, I recieved a happy surprise when T called and suggested that we take his extra quarters and head to a Casino for the evening. So I combed my hair and put on a hot mama outfit and away we went.
He chose a casino that I had been warned by the bug guy not to eat at, but that we had wondered about since it is way out in the middle of nowhere. I have to say, the more I visit other gambling estamblishments, the more I appriciate mine.
Anyway, He handed me a few twenties and we gambled the night away. I must say that I like gambling with someone elses money, and although he said we would split the winnings, I didn't take him up on the offer.
Apparently, my low cut blouse was getting a lot of attention, which made T laugh. Never thought I would hear the words, "hey, that fat mexican chick was checking you out!" said with such glee.
So I strike up a brief conversation with an old woman in the rest room about the dirty state of a stall and, she seeks me out when she comes out. The conversation was something like this:

Lady: I just wanted to tell you that I think it's really neat that you feel comfortable in that shirt, I mean I don't think I would have worn it, even when I was younger.

Me: (In a conspiritorial sort of way) well, I figure I ought to wear it now while I am young.

Lady: What?? (I repeated myself) Oh. Well, does your husbad like that sort of thing?(she was looking at my boobs)

Me: I'm not married.

Lady: Oh. How old are you?

Me: 27

Lady: and you're not married? Have you ever been?

Me: No.

Lady: (at this point looking at my face, but in such a way as if I had just grown another head) Wow. Me and my husband...

Any way, apparently I am an anomoly because I am in my late twenties and not married, not divorced, no kids, and my PDC's are nice enough that I want to show them off. Well, Really, I'm still trying to lure T back into my clutches, and those are my best asset besides my mind and well, there's not a shirt in the world that will make anyone notice my brain, so I guess I have to start somewhere! And I already know that T likes my mind so...

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Do you ever feel?

Today I am feeling as though I am dangling from a precipice and I don't know where to go. I often feel this way when it comes to the never ending drama with T, but it seems in so many ways, my whole world f relationships is wrong and not at all like they say it should be.
Let's start with T who, was keeping it G rated for awhile and I was doing really well and starting to heal despite our continued correspondence. Then, as we were discussing some healing techniques that might help him sleep, I realized, and admitted to him that although I spent 5 years as a massage therapist, I could not handle having that sort of contact with him. I have never before refused a client or friend because I was concerned about my own professionalism. Realizing this made my world turn on it's side. Then, yesterday, the comments went dirty again and I flipped the rest of the way over. I feel like he provides just enough to keep me interested, to keep me hanging, and then he pulls back. I am not a fish, and I don't want to dangle on a line. But we connect so well in so many ways that I hang on to the hope tat we can work things out.
Then there is the neighbor situation. I'm not sure how much I have talked about it, but he invited me over for dinner again tonight. And the other day, his oldest kid wanted me to come over. Now, his kids are cute, but I really don't want to get involved with that family. I'm not interested in him, so I don't want to go eat there because I don't want to give him the wrong idea. And I know that if I keep hanging out there, his kids are going to get hurt. I am currently "hiding" at my mom's house so that he doesn't see my car at mine and want me to come over. What I really want to do is hole up in my house with "Big Fish" and sew.
To make matters worse, my step dad was picking at my scabs. He started by asking what is going on with T and telling me that he really thought T was stuck on me. And maybe he is, I don't know, but this is no way to go about things. Then Poo asked what I was doing to meet people. Truth is, I don't want to meet people. I am not impressed with the dating circles. I just want to stay home in my house and craft and work on my business. These are things that I can control. Yes, I know it doesn't do me any good to be a hermit. And yes, I know that most men my age want kids. But frankly, there is a serious lack of decent men in my neighborhood. I don't like bars, and I don't think I would want to be with a man I met in a bar. Trouble is, that it all boils down to, "I want T" and since no one better has come along, I just hold on the what I know. I am aware that there are many fish in the sea, and I am sure that there are lots of wonderful men looking for a woman like me. They just don't seem to live in Lakeside. And I am not an outgoing kind of girl to go meet people. So I stay a hermit.
Then, I'm sitting there thinking that for a person who says she's happy with her life, I sure do cry a lot. Then I get angry with myself for being overly sensitive. And for being a fool. And I imagine that tonight, like last night, I will be in bed, alone, before 11 pm. And I fear that makes me a little pathetic.
Am I having a pity party? Probably. But I have this blog to express myself. And this is the state of my being.

Friday, September 02, 2005

I don't know who the guy is, but Lindsay, please fire YOUR new stylist too. ya look terrible. unhealthy. and maybe slow down on the partying. you really don't want to end up another Tara Reid who was so cute a la American Pie, but is really just scary and sad now.

Dear Hilary,
Please fire your new stylist. This look is not flattering to you. I can accept the veneers. but the rest, well, I really liked you better the other way. you know, when you looked human.
So much of what I could be saying is dwarfed by the madness in New Orleans. I have such mixed emotions about the situation.
My heart screams at the devestation. Even the fires that devestated my city a couple of years ago don't compare to this. And we are still rebuilding. This is so much worse.
On one hand, I tell myself that the way people are acting down there is completely animalistic and out of line. on the other hand, how would I behave if I had lost everything, been sitting out in the elements with a bunch of dead bodies, likely people I knew, without food or water for several days...
Sadly, I do not blame our government. Since when is it thier responsibility to be prepared for an emergency? I am just thankful that they are doing SOMETHING.
And the people who are shooting at the help helicopters? COME ON! The ignorance is where I start getting wound up. Stolen TV's will not feed your family. Where the hell are you going to hang that plasma screen> you don't have a house or electricity!
I think it all boils down to this. We were ill prepared. Not because you are black (do you think there aren't non black folks stuck out there?) not because the government doesn't care, but because we tend to think that this sort of thing doesn't happen here. America doesn't allow corpses to rot in the streets. Our people are safe and prepared for disasters. We are fed and watered. It just doesn't happen here.
So anyway, since it did, I am trying to think of ways to help. Maybe a blanket drive? I know it's hot right now, but I think we're in for one hell of a winter, and those people over there lost everything.
Looking out my window at the lovely California weather I know I am blessed. this time. Maybe I would be smart to put together that emergency kit people are alwys talking about.