A long, long holiday

The Fourth of July holiday tends to be a long one for me. My friends and I head up to Lake Tahoe on the 3rd to watch the fireworks from Kings Beach. This year we stayed overnight and hit the beach again the next day for laying around and unfortunately, getting sunburned. I got REALLY sunburned. I'm still pretty pink. ugh.

I did put on sunscreen, but the thing is, alpine sun and lowlander sun are very different. I can spend a week in Vegas in the sunshine and be fine. 2 hours on the shores of Lake Tahoe and I'm a little Tahoe Lobster. But not the edible kind. I need to work on that. It doesn't take much to get a sunburn around here. I don't want skin cancer. Or wrinkles.

Chango and I had fun though. He was a champ with the fireworks, crawling under my chair and being generally happy as long as I was touching him. If I didn't, he nudged my butt until I reached down to let him know he was safe. He enjoyed lots of attention and a quick run on the beach, and I discovered that he's a total kid magnet. And a shade hog.

We went home fairly early, so I had plenty of time to go hang out with HM on the 4th. From my house, even though I am only a mile from the fireworks, you can't see them because there is a tree in the way. From his upstairs window, we had a clear view. So we listened to patriotic music and then some Dropkick Murphys when that failed, and learned that we both like the kind of fireworks that are sparkly everywhere, although, I have to say, I've grown quite fond of the ones that look like Sideshow Bob's hair. Because they look like Sideshow Bob's hair.

It was a good holiday. A good weekend. Hope yours was good and safe as well.

Valentines Day crafts

Every year, I make Valentines Day cards instead of Christmas cards not because I like V-Day (not a fan, actually) but because I want to be different and it is a great excuse to tell the people that I love that I well, love them.

I make them partially because I am cheap, partially because I think that the greeting card industry is a little silly, and a lot because I feel like it means more that way.

This year, plan A didn't work out. I don't remember what it was, but it was a fail. Now I remember. Equipment fail, not crafter fail.

Plan... next was a GREAT idea, I just needed to commit to actually carving the linoleum block I've been hanging onto for at least  a year.

I learned to carve printing blocks in 8th grade art class. It might have even been 7th grade. My teacher was all sorts of awesome and a couple of the projects she introduced to us were so amazing, I still want to do them. Seriously, best art teacher ever.

About 10 years ago, I decided I was going to try it again, bought all the stuff, never did, and amazingly, purged all the stuff.

About 1 year ago, I decided I was going to try it again, bought all the stuff, and did NOT purge it in the last purging.

Now, I have commitment issues. this is why I cut that guy I see sometimes a lot of slack. This is also why I have a lot of project IDEAS, but not a lot of completed projects. I am trying to change that.

Tonight, I drew out my design, made sure the block was the right size for the paper, and started carving.

I stabbed myself in the finger. Those cutters are sharp.

I accidentally carved what appears to be a vagina in the corner. It's not supposed to be a hoo ha. I took a deep breath and kept on going even though I know that my family will happily point it out.

Then, I headed to the gym because I needed to go. While on the evil yellow thing that I secretly love because it kicks my butt, I realized something important.

I carved my design portrait instead of landscape. I need a new block.

It's no wonder I have commitment issues.

I'm still going to finish it because it can be used for other projects. And no, you can't see a picture right now because I want the card to be a SURPRISE. If I get my shit together, I'll post it on Valentines Day. Until then, I think I'll start another hat. I've yet to draw blood with my knitting needles.

Crafts for the single and childless

I am a maker. This is not news.

I love pinterest. This is also (probably) not news.

Pinterest helps me in many ways. It provides an easy reference for inspiration and easy to find instructions (mostly) and allows me a virtual place where I can save all those neat things I find on the internet which USED to get printed out but now get pinned. So there is less paperwork and random napkins with websites jotted down.

HOORAY!

However, Pinterest, very early on, was overtaken by Mommy Bloggers and super moms who homeschool their children and, from what I hear from many moms, create an unrealistic expectation on how you should be raising your kid.

I don't know, I don't have kids. But if I did, and I thought I was supposed to be making them homemade play dough and sprinkling their dreams with fairy dust every night, I might feel a little guilty about using cake mix instead of doing everything by scratch and organically. With fantastic pictures. Because we are all professional photographers and with the advent of the digital camera, there is no excuse not to take perfect pictures. (sarcasm. I'm better at it than photography)

ANYHOW!

I digress. I'm good at that too. (digression?)

Since plan A for my yearly homemade Valentines Day cards didn't work out due to faulty rubber stamps (damnit), I went to Pinterest to find fresh inspiration. What I found was that unless I have some little baby feet to stamp onto my cards and decorate to appear like animals, I may as well take my pathetic barren uterus and find a depressing closet to curl up in. I'm thinking the coat closet since in addition to the vacuum, dog hair tends to gather there.

I'm kidding about my uterus. I like it empty. Can you imagine if I had accidentally gotten knocked up at some point over the years? My poor warped children would be stuck with me as a mom and well, we know I'm not really very good at picking out men for myself. Good guys, remember, just not generally good for me.

I guess the point is that I'd better start making some inspirational stuff for those of us who don't have a plethora of baby feet to paint and press on stuff. I'll get right on that. I should probably dust off the digital camera first...

It's a new year. Again.

I don't really make resolutions. Or at least, not ones that I intend to keep. I'd rather act on bettering myself NOW as opposed to saving it for the end of the calendar when I might have forgotten how I wanted to better myself AND when there is so much expectation. This is why I started organizing my life back in July. And why I started exercising more in June, with a step up in August. It's why I took my finances by the horns in November even though we were THIS CLOSE to the traditional period of goal setting.

Somehow that went a lot more in a serious direction than I intended, but I'm also going though a more serious period.

Which is why it was really good that I decided to pretend for a little bit that I couldn't afford it and head over the hill to Six Flags for New Year's Eve.

When the clock struck twelve, I was on a roller coaster. The fireworks were going off and my wifey was by my side. There were no new year kisses, no boys (Holger doesn't count), and for a rare occasion, I was okay with that. As I rode that coaster twice more (all together 4x in a row) I thought about how my life is going right now and how good it feels to be putting it all together and heading in a positive direction. I also thought about how a fifth round would likely make me puke.

To me, my New Year holiday was perfect. A little bit of adventure, and a bright outlook for the future. Good company, and a unique way to hurtle into 2013.

Now that it's after Christmas...

I pulled a thrifty tip from The Little Big Blog for my nieces this year.

I managed to give the bulk of my family handmade gifts this year. This saved me in a big way because back in November I started stressing out about how I was going to pay for gifts for my family, and then I realized that I spent all summer happily making jelly out of fruit I was getting at the farmer's market. I don't think it occurred to me then that my jelly making fun would save me in a few months, but when I realized that my family would happily receive jelly, my shopping was suddenly almost done.

This didn't cover the nieces though. They would be getting jelly by default, but you can't really give a 4 year old a glass jar of jelly and expect that she will get all excited about it. Since time was short and my plate was full, making something wasn't likely to happen.

I found a couple of books, and stayed in my budget, but quickly discovered that the girls already had those. Back they went.

I knew that I wanted to give the girls books, but I discovered really fast that children's books are expensive. If I stayed in my budget, I would only be able to afford to buy one.

I was on my way back to Costco to see if they had anything new, (awesome place to get children's books, they tend to be about half retail!) when I remembered a gently used bookstore. I was able to get 4 books for considerably less than I would have paid for 1 book at the regular book store. That left room in my budget for a toy for them to share.

So, thank you, Carrie Anne for telling me that it's okay for me to be thrifty with my gift giving. For reminding me that used books are just as good, and for helping me to remember that it's better to stay in budget than to be extravagant.

Finding my shit

I still haven't found my purse.

However, in the process of getting myself organized, I did find a $25 gift card for Chilis that has been missing for the past year. I'll call that a "win". Maybe next I will find the $50 gift card to Victoria's Secret I lost last Christmas. On my list of things to change about myself? Stop putting gift cards "somewhere safe".

And purses too.

Losing track of my shit

Last December, I traded in my Southwest points for a free round trip ticket with the intention of using it for my holiday travel this year.

That meant that I would only have to pay for one ticket instead of two. When Thanksgiving rolled around and I was still overdrawing and my credit cards were still (thankfully) lost, I cancelled my trip South so I could get myself in order. I was thankful that I still had a round trip ticket to get me home for Christmas.

Until I tried to book the trip. And learned that the ticket was going to expire in 4 days.

Oh the things I could have done with that ticket. RollerCon. Brother in Law's 40th birthday bash. Thanksgiving.

And it's gone. Because I was too distracted to pay proper attention. I assumed that it expired on the 31st, not the 12th. Which means that I had to pay for my ticket South for Christmas. Since I didn't have the cash on hand, I put it on the credit card. I'll be paying that off over the next 8 months if I add an extra $50 per month to my MasterCard payment. (ouch!) That's almost time to get another ticket! If I had saved $50 per month over the last 8 months, I would have been able to pay cash.

Hm. What a concept!

On Budgets and Credit Cards

Several months ago, I suddenly noticed that I don't have any money. That I live paycheck to paycheck, squeeze by, and tend to wonder if I am going to be able to pay for the things I need, like food, during any given week. I think part of the reason I was suddenly suffering is that I had been putting things on my credit cards instead of managing my cash flow. When I told myself I couldn't use them anymore, I suddenly didn't have any money. (when I say suddenly, it's a little sarcastic. Obviously, I had pretend money)

So I sat down, and mapped out my expenses for the rest of this year and all of next. I love excel. Soon after, I lost my purse. Lost. As in, I can't find it. I know it's in my house somewhere because it disappeared while I was home, I vaguely remember putting it somewhere clever, and if it had been stolen, someone would have used my cards, checkbooks, and the Starbucks preloaded gold card of which I am stupidly proud. Don't judge. I only have to buy like, 24 drinks in a year to keep it. Most people do that in a month.

Since I lost my credit cards with my purse, I have been unable to use them for "emergencies". You know, like the kind where I'm going over to the Wife's house and need to bring chips but my bank account is empty. THOSE kind of emergencies. People ask if I am going to replace the cards and I tell them NO because as long as they are lost, I can't use them and ideally, my balances will go down instead of up. Yes, I am worried about true emergencies.

When I mapped out my expenses, I didn't add in things like food and gas and funtimes because in my head, I don't really spend all that much on those things.

Apparently, I DO spend a lot on those things.

Last month, I added all expenditures into my budget. $1.07 for Taco Bell? it's in there. And it's highlighted pink so I can see that although it was a food expense, it wasn't a needed expense. Groceries are needed. Taco Bell is not. While I know that I will have some "fun" expenses, I now know that I have been going overboard. So much that I will not be able to go see my family for Thanksgiving (lucky for me, my mom is coming up here. So if Tahoe isn't snowed in, I'll be going up there. If it is, I will go to the Wife's). Last month, I spent over $300 on things that I could have lived without. I spent less than $200 on Gas, Groceries, and Pet Food.

Wow. Talk about an eye opener!

My goal for November is to cut that number considerably. It's going to be difficult because it's Thanksgiving and this week alone I will be buying a turkey, brining supplies, and the stuff to make broccoli cheese casserole for Spanksgiving on Sunday. And then in a week or so, I need to buy apple pie makings. I'll either be at the Wife's, or at my future step sister's house so either way, we need a pie. And maybe some more broccoli casserole.

More later...

I am a dreamer

There's no time like the present to be more joyful, and what better day than Christmas to post my first bit of joy?

Last night, after deciding that I was going to commit to posting joyful things (don't worry, there will still be rants!) I went to bed. And I, of course, had a dream.

In my dream, I found something that made me happy. So happy that I knew that I had started right away on my joyful journey. So happy that I woke up with a smile on my face. It was somthing I had forgotten about in my grumpy attitudes, and I was so thrilled, in my dream to rediscover it.

I sure do wish I could remember what it was.

Apprehension

Of course, by the time you read this, I will have an aswer, but I still need to get it out...

I'm afraid of my results from Saturday.

Part of me wants there to be an answer indicating that there is a problem. That will explain why I have so much trouble with my weight whether I exercize or not. Read: I still gain if I exercize. I lost a good 10 or 20 pounds and it came right back even though my activity level and eating habits didn't change. In fact, my activity level went up.  I still gain if I drop calories. In fact, dieting makes me crazy. Not in the cheeky "dying for a donut" way, in the psycho hose beast kind of way that I know isn't me.

The other part wants to hear that I am normal and that I need to eat more salad and exercize more and I will be fine. I don't really want to take a pill for the rest of my life. I don't want to have to check the box that says "thyroid issues" when I fill out medical information. I don't want to have a pre-existing condition. I'm pretty sure that this is just vanity talking. Goodness knows, I have plenty of it.

Either way, I miss feeling normal and I haven't really felt normal in a long time. Less so lately. I blame some of that on not having skated or done any "real" exercize in the last couple of months. I'm falling apart. my neck and shoulders are so tight I pulled a rib out last weekend sleeping (alone) and another one out last night reaching for a nearly empty box of borax. I haven't really slept well since last week because it hurts to move. I'm a side sleeper and can't sleep on either side after last night. I'm pretty sure I sounded like a buzz saw since sleeping on my back makes me snore.  I've had a headache for three days. Ibuprophin doesn't touch it. Yes, I have seen my chiropractor. I'm thinking of seeing him again today. Tension, my friends, is a terrible thing. I don't really know where it's coming from. I mean, I have some idea, but I don't know if it's accurate. It could be the lurking hose beast.

She's always around the corner. She can be tamed with food. protein and carbs. I've learned to be afraid of her. Enough that I got up before 7 to avoid a meetup because I knew that if I fasted too long, she would appear. Last night, food didn't help. Maybe I ate too early. Maybe I didn't eat the right things. Maybe it's not a food issue at all.

Maybe I just need to get myself past the holiday season and get my life back in order.

And then he said, "I love you"

I talk a lot about my dad, my realtionship with him, the run ins we have. I feel as though Daddy is one of the great unfinished-es in my world. My realtionship with him isn't as strong or as developed as I think it should be. I base this a little bit upon how I see my friends interract with their children, and a little bit on how I interract with my mom.

Yes, I know that no realtionship between two people is ever the same. Personalities, circumstances, schedules, get in the way. People grow up. They grow apart. And as life happens, it becomes more difficult to forgive the hurts and the neglect and easier to just be angry.

The holidays are especially difficult when it comes to my dad. Unless he lived in another state, chances are we would at the very least see him at or near Christmas. He was a classic Santa Dad. When we saw him at any time of year, we would eat candy and donuts and Lucky Charms. We'd watch movies and he would make omlettes with shrimp. There would be visits to his parents' and grandparents. Toys, Nintendo, no chores. Somehow, I didn't notice that the rest of the year when he would be out to sea for 6 months and then back for 6 months, we wouldn't see him until the last weekend before it was time to ship out again.

I know things now that I didn't know then. That he was probably on a bender for that time period. That when we would stop at his friend's house "real quick" and he would leave us in the car for what seemened like forever, that he was probably refilling his stash. Somehow, and maybe because I didn't know, it never interfered with our time with him. It was another errand.

Now that I am older, I do know these things. And there are so many other reasons to be angry with him. I try to let them go, but it's hard. I am only human after all.

Now, when the holidays roll around, I dread seeing him more than a bit. It has nothing to do with the fact that he is no longer "Santa" and eveything to do with the fact that I just don't know what to say. Its been like that for years. It breaks my heart. There was a brief time when I saw Daddy every weekend. A time when we could talk for hours about this and that. When he would tell me stories and we would go to the Swap Meet.

All that has happened in the last 9 years since my grandmother died has overshadowed that. Somewhere in there, I lost my father. Now I know that what really happened was that he lost himself.

On Christmas, we were invited over. I didn't get there until late. There was a miscommunication but I should have tried harder. I didn't want to try harder. It's become easier to avoid the silences. What I found when I did arrive was a relaxed father. Who started almost immedietly telling stories. To me my father is the sum of his stories. I love every outrageous tale. Many are true, some I question. The one he told that night will be AWESOME if it is true, and is one of the few that I might be able to get backup on. We will see.

For the first time in a long time, when my sisters got ready to leave, I didn't jump at the chance to go too. I wanted to stay a little longer. This feeling made me happy and broke my heart a little.This is how I should always feel. I left knowing he was coming to dinner the next night.

He did. Since Uncle Mike was there, he launched into stories again. Some I had heard, some I had not. Still, all the world is right when Daddy is telling stories. I get that from him. During the course of these tales, it came out that Daddy has not fished in quite some time. 5 years, actually, which is how I know that he has lost so much of himself. The parts of Daddy that aren't made up of stories are made up of fishing. I don't really want to fish unless it's with him; I only catch fish when we are together. (and I don't want to bait the hook, kill the fish, clean it...)

5 years is a long time to go without doing the thing you love to do the most. Later, after he left, Uncle Mike mentioned taking him out (UM is an AVID fisherman who is frequently in Bass tournaments) and I told him how much it would mean to me if he would.

I'm not sure how much fishing Daddy has left. Each time I see him, I learn something new about his growing list of health issues. From the back issues that may leave him paralyzed to the heart drugs he doesn't want to take because they will render him unable to tell where his bloodsugar is; dangerous for a diabetic.

I don't know how much time I have left with my dad. The fact that he didn't expect to make it past 55 doesn't make it any easier for either of us to accept that the years of hard living have caught up. I am thankful that he's rediscovering the important things now though. Maddy lights him up like nothing else and I think he knows that all the things he missed out on over the years while he was being selfish with himself have culminated in her; so those things must have been wonderful too. And they were. I'm sorry he missed them.

I was sad to see him go last night. I was enjoying him again. I pray that we are able to spend more time together so that the good memories can replace the bad. He gave the usual round of hugs last night, ending with my mom. As they held each other close, he said, loud enough for us all to hear, "I love you". Not an easy thing to say to a woman you have been divorced from for 31 years. But an important statement. And so nice to hear. Not because I have any sort of thought about them getting back together, but because I know that it is important and healing to tell the people you love how much they mean to you.

I could certainly say it more often.

Flew south for the holiday

Ah, the warm sunshine of SoCal. It's good to be among family, good to be home. Except now that I HAVE a house of my own, it feels less like home and more like somewhere I used to call home. Probably as it should be.

I'm enjoying my family, have had plenty of time with my neice who really is the world's cutest kid and who, unlike most children, doesn't cry when I smile at her, she smiles back. Good match. I'm sure it helps that she seems to like everybody.

We're celebrating Christmas on Saturday this year. My father is invited to dinner and we should have a full house. In the meantime I'm spending time with my mom and hope to go look at lights with her and Girl Roomie while I am here. Seeing Poo is on the list too. My trips are too short, but also feel long. The puppy butt is staying with Bella and Baby and Oliver are home alone. I I'm sure she's fine always fear I will return to a dead parrot. I'm sure she's fine.

That's all I have. Nice and mellow and even keel. Can't possibly complain about that!

This, that, and another thing

I'm really looking forward to flying South for the Winter (holiday).

Last night I was smart enough to pull Jack off my window before I rolled it down to get money from the bank. When I rolled it down to order El Pollo Loco, I forgot again. The stick and cup is now lost somewhere in door land. Jack is now rolling around in my car. I'm sure I will find him several years from now and I will have a good laugh.

Work is pissing me off a lot lately. I have been venting onto Twitter. it's fun because I can't blog from work, but I can text Twitter!

I have been out dress shopping for something to wear to my work party tomorrow. The current fashion is not flattering on me as usual. Reno does not have any good clothing stores, and I have champagne taste. Since I have not purchased a dress, I went down to the garage to see if there might be something near the door (I have many, lovely, flattering gowns that I would be thrilled to wear. If I could get to them...) I didn't find a dress, but I did find my pin nailer and a few other things I have been wanting. I have to agree with my mom on this, when I do finally unpack, it's gonna be like Christmas.

Speaking of the Holiday party tomorrow, I really wanted to ask Cowboy if he would escort me. There are three reasons for this. I like his company, I'd like to have a date, and perhaps if I show up with a date, it would help dispell that lingering rumor that I am Poo's girlfriend/mistress, whatever. I admit, I forgot to ask last week like I intended. I called Monday with the usual "seein whatcha doin" message. I never heard back. Perhaps he is busy. perhaps out of town. perhaps he really did pull a fade away, something I had hoped he was above. Thing is, I go through this every couple of weeks. things are great, then he falls off for a day or two and I convince myself it's over. Then he calls again. And that is how it's been. I don't talk about it because I know that you all have opinions on the subject and honestly, there's nothing you can say in any way shape or form, from any direction that I have not said to myself. And the beat goes on. So tomorrow? I will be attending my company party on my own. I'll be sure to post pictures in my gown because I plan to look fantastic. I'll sweep (ahem...trip) into the room with my head held high and smiling and I will have a great time with my coworkers.

Clint showed up the other night. All full of "I missed you"s and bearing stuffed animal gifts. I tried to be gracious. I did not wipe my cheek when ke kissed it though I dearly wanted to. He stayed for several beers. I didn't really have much to say. I don't really know what to to with the bear (I will likely donate it) since I'm not really a stuffed animal kind of girl. Drunk Monkey is not a stuffed animal, and anything else I have has sentimental stories. (Like the dog I bought my grandmother while she was in the hospital to keep her company) It was a nice gift, but the part of me that is still angry because he disspointed me so much doesn't want it. I know I should be forgiving, but generally, when I decide I'd rather not see someone again, I mean it. So when they wander back into my life, it's difficult for me to accept them back because they are out of my head.

Why don't I decide I never want to see Cowboy again? I don't really know. I like him as a person and I enjoy his company. It's actually rare that I don't want to keep someone around. It's not like we bicker all the time like Biker Bob and I did, I just know that he's a bit here-today-gone-tomorrow. I just realized that perhaps I was nervous about making plans with him because they rarely go through. He might be feeling poorly, or something comes up. All our outings are always spur of the moment. And asking him to the party would have meant plans. Plans that might have been cancelled. Leaving me devestated because in my head I had a date and in reality, I didn't. Better to go alone, then. I rarely dissapoint myself and I sure know how to show me a good time!

Christmas memories

So frequently, the stories I tell of my childhood (though rarely here, as this seems to be more of a running commentary on the wackiness now, instead of the wackiness then) are filled with the kind of ugliness that I hope I would never visit upon my children. Don't get me wrong, I was blessed in so many ways, but it wasn't always pretty.

So, I'm watching a comercial for Walgreens tonight, and there are two children searching the house for their Christmas gifts. Seeing only Walgreens bags, they go away without finding them.

I remembered suddenly, that I never peeked. I believed my parents when they told us that they would know. That the presents were boobie trapped in such a way that they would see any tampering. That if we peeked, there would be no presents. Since I knew that my parents were older and smarter than I, (I was not yet a teenager) I believed them.

I cannot vouch for my siblings, but I was always surprised and delighted on Christmas morning to find that my parents had provided gifts that I had either asked for, or never knew I wanted. The electric train when I was 10 (I JUST gave that to my nephew. I hope they were able to get it working) that I wanted so badly (my flute teacher made fun of me for wanting it. I never understood why a girl couldn't have an electric train) The new Bike. A skateboard.

It must have been thrilling for my parents when they saw me surprised, to know I still believed they were smarter, and to know that in this one thing, I was obediant. They always made sure that the wrapped gifts were interesting enough to keep us guessing for weeks.

I'm looking forward again this year to the excitement of shaking presents. My mom is the queen of adding nuts, bells, rocks, and cans of soup to throw us off. Some things, as always, are obvious. Books (but which one???) Pillows. The unmistakable slide of clothes in a box.

For me, Christmas isn't about the birth of Christ. It's about spending time with my family and friends. It's about anticipating their delight in gifts I choose carefully. About being tipsy before noon, eating See's candy for breakfast, and taking a nap under the spell of Bing Crosby. My mom's roast beast and my sisters' smiles. Harassing my brother and the cat.

I know that these special feelings were planted carefully and fostered by my parents. With every threat, they were teaching us the joy of anticipation. With every set of flannel pajamas, the delight of a simple gift. And each Christmas, I felt loved and special. There's no greater blessing than that.

Not just a new day

Consider one New Year's resolution kept. with glee. Thank goodness.

I dropped off the cookies to Wayne and my coworkers. Wayne invited me to go with him to spend New Years with Coffee Crush and company. I politely declined. First of all, I had already told my friends that I would be attending their parties. I like to follow through and while they would have understood, I still think it important to keep the plans that you make. Even when there is a handsome man involved. ESPECIALLY when there is a handsome man involved because...

In the name of crushes, I have put myself in some very uncomfortable positions over the years. Ended up in some very bad situations. One, could have cost me my life, many, certainly cost me my dignity and my confidence. Both of these things grow back. Life, once gone, cannot be returned. I'm not saying that going with Wayne would have been in the least bit dangerous, but I would have felt odd at a party where I hardly knew ayone, and if Coffee Crush had a date there, I would have been exceptionally uncomfortable. Not to mention the mild creepy factor showing up there. If I knew that crew just a little bit better, it would be ok. But right now, all I have is a bit of small talk because they buy their coffee from me. Hardly a friendship. and anyway...

The first party was really fun. I have missed my friends more than I knew due to my self imposed outcast. They were all happy to see me and I was happy to see them. It was good to be there and tempting to stay. But I knew that if I did stay, I would drink too much. Plus, I had promised myself elsewhere. And while it was hard to go, I'm glad I went because...

I had a blast at the second party. My "date" was there, and also my sister and her husband. and her husband? is funny anyway, but get him drunk and hilarity ensues. I have hopes that I will get a copy of the video that I can post because if you guys find it half as funny as I did, you'll be crying too. I was paralized with laughter. And I didn't drink too much. In fact I wasn't even buzzed. So when the time came to go home, I went home. and slept in my ouwn bed. Which is just where I like to be. and I started out the new year in such a way that I can't think of any other way I would like to be. With friendship, laughter and flannel sheets.

Holiday Stories

Sunday, I put my tree up, but I was so wrapped up in my dramas that I needed to blog about those instead of that. So, since I am picture happy, I thought I would share it with you. I tried to rotate it so that it was upright, but for some reasonit wouldn't go.



While I was unpacking, I found this. A momento of a time when I lived in domestic bliss and was looking forward to a future with C. We bought it at Disneyland to celebrate our first Christmas living together. I remember thinking ahead to the future and how great it would be be hang it on the tree every year (Sleeping Beauty is my favorite Disney Princess) I considered packing it away.



I hung it anyway. Since there is no prince currently in my life, I covered his head. I know he looks like a member of the KKK, but since I think the whole thing is pretty funny, The paper stays.


There are a few things you will notice about my tree. The paper garland, I made for my first tree my first year in my own apartment. I was broke and had to use what I had available. After that, I think my trees were bigger if I had one at all, so I didn't use it. This year, since my tree is little, I put it out. (hee hee. I put out) I love paper chains. They remind me that the simple things in life can be the most decorative, the most fun. There is something white hanging to the left there the branches break. That's an angel I made out of noodles when I was in Americorps. She holds a little gold noodle tree. That was one of the gifts I gave that year. and the crowining glory...



I don't know what I did with the star that went on top of my tree, but Kermit was my first tree topper. He is always somewhere on my tree, and this year he has returned to the place of honor.

I would love to see your trees! If I don't visit your blog regularly, leave me a comment and I will go look.