Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Memories

I have been in the process of cleaning out my storage unit this month. Once I started putting everything in my already crowded apartment, I realized that if I am going to continue to exist comfortably, the stuff is going to have to go.

One of the things I attacked was my old letters and cards. I didn't stop to reread them all, that would take forever. and I did save a few. Here is what I discovered.

That I don't think I appriciated my boyfriend from way back very much.

Here is what I remember. That he was very nice, and very attractive, but that once I went away to Americorps, he wasn't nearly as interesting anymore. I remember that in some ways he used to annoy me.

Here is what reading a few of his letters to me told me ten years later. That I wasn't as ready or mature enough to deal with a boyfriend and all that entailed as I thought I was. I have always known that I didn't handle things correctly (I stopped taking his calls, then I broke up with him in the Parking lot at Home Depot). But I think that he really cared about me and that he was very concerned with my happiness. I think he was a really sweet man, and that I took him a bit for granted. I don't think I worried nearly enough about his happiness. And while I know that we weren't meant to be, it's interesting to look at who we both were ten years ago and finally appriciate him.

He will never know that, of course, we don't speak anymore, since he got married. However, while I have always wished him and his wife (and family) well, for the first time, last night I realized what a truly lucky woman his wife is, to have found and married a man like him.

2 comments:

Sensei Ern said...

Most guys need to be told they are appreciated, more than anything else. If they are interested in you, every move they make is designed to get your attention and your appreciation.

It is amazing how quickly we tell people how we do not appreciate the things they do that offend us, but how the things they do that we like we assume they know we like it and appreciate it. MOre than that, we think, "Why should I tell them? They are supposed to do that stuff."

Most people do not know they are appreciated, unless they are told.

bqiqjm: What SPock told Captain Kirk when Kirk stopped in the Enterprise latreen on their way to save the entire universe.

Ginamonster said...

I completely agree.