pause, and begin.

there has been so much I have wanted to blog about over the last day or so, but I either didn't have time, or I wasn't anywhere near a computer.

Speaking of near a computer, Biker Bob's crapped out on him and now he's shopping laptops. which, of couse made me go, "Hey! I want one too!" It's a want, not a need, and that is a lot of what has kept me from REALLY looking into it over the last couple of days. That and the knowlage that buying a laptop is not economically reasonable at this time. Not that I don't have the credit, but, I would like to be able to quit Harbucks eventually. I love working there (although the sprained ankle makes it REALLY difficult to do my job) but I also miss the luxury of having time at my apartment. You know, the one that put me in the financial bind that forces me to work a second job. However, the indulgent voice in my head says that if I had a laptop, I could not only blog ANYWHERE, but I could better track my business sales when I am away from home. You know, instead of hand writing everything at craft fairs, I could enter it directly into the computer and give a nice looking receipt...oh wait, I would need a printer too...So really I only want one because I want to keep up with the Joneses or the Bob, in this case. I think I just talked myself out of it. Phew!

Went mini golfing last night. it was great! There was one fellow there that I did not introduce to Biker Bob because he never got close enough to me to do so and it was a bit awkward because I had only met him once before...And I feel bad, especially since I intorduced his date to Biker Bob, but I was standing right next to her at the time. And really, the guy? never spoke to me all evening anyway. I'm making excuses to justify my actions, but it isn't working. I see through my clever mind tricks.

Mind tricks. Biker Bob said something last night that bothered me. He said that the main objective is not to piss me off. And I thought, wow. I don't treat him very well if he has to walk on eggshells in order to maintain my affections. Here is why I think he feels this way. A couple of weeks ago, although I don't think I mentioned it here, I called the whole thing off. He had made a deal breaker move. This is one of those deal breakers that stems from a childhood issue, and something I REALLY need to get over because it's silly. I know that. But it happened after he did something else that caused me to tell him to stop, and, I made my choice. Obviously, we worked through it, with him admonishing me to communicate better, as he did not know I was that angry. Apprently this is a relationship problem I have since C told me the same thing. This does not mean that I am going to start throwing tantrums. not real ones anyway.
Anyhow, Biker Bob is now very careful not to do things he knows piss me off. And I think he is careful not to do anything he thinks might piss me off. And I am often bothered by the fact that I am so sensitive about things that he has to stifle himself in order to keep me around. It makes me feel like my mother. My mother has SO MANY RULES that she is difficult to approach, I think, for any man she happens to be dating.
So I think it very important to work hard to cut the poor guy some slack. and maybe, just maybe think about his feelings once in awhile. I've been so totally in the box lately that my actions and feelings are bound by it. It can't be good for Biker Bob. I know it isn't good for me. Maybe I can break this cycle of acting like my mother by being aware of it. Maybe I can get over some of those issues. I don't want to be one of those high maintenance women. High maintainance can be emotional maintenance, not just the money/presents kind.

the Mosque next door to Biker Bob's home burned down yesterday. They wondered if it was a hate crime, but although they get eggs thrown at them round about 9-11*, the fire department was unable to find any evidence that it was arson. I saw the news cameras when I arrived at Biker Bob's house last night, and smelled the funny smell in the air, but it took a couple of minutes for me to actually notice that the building was burned up. I felt VERY unobservant. I had not idea it was even a Mosque. I thought it was an abandoned office building because I never see anyone there and well, I've never noticed that it is open. Yup. in my own world over here.
*What I want to know is, why in the world would you want to throw eggs at a church? it is not the fault of Islam that there are extremists out there who will twist the words of Mohammed. There are psychos in every faith. and some of them have loud voices. Look at Jerry Fallawell. (sp?) if we truly believed that all Christians believed as he believes, there would be a much bigger uproar when he is caught being a bonehead. But no, the majority of Christians, like Muslims, simply want to practice thier faith in peace. Like anyone else.

Gimpy Moe

Plans went forward for me to pick up Biker Bob from the airport after Derby Practice on Monday. During practice, I was finally assigned to a more advanced Doll for tutelage, which was great. We worked on the skills that are nessesary to make the team. I fell a few times, and hit my head on the floor once (I saw stars, but took a couple of asprin and kept on going)
Beginner practice over, I stayed for the big girl practice since I seem to be able to keep up lately. and, when I leave early, I catch shit from the others for not staying. which is good for me. We start practicing pack speed drills. I, being the slowest in the pack, was getting a lot of great bumps and learning how to take them gracefully (a bump is when a teammate comes up behind you, grabs hold, and pushes you forward). Then we switched directions.
Ordinarly we skate counterclockwise. My body is (sadly) now conditioned to skate this way. I start to struggle, and I fall. Great. now I have to catch up. Steely Jan starts hanging out towards the back of the group in order to grab hold and swing me back into business. I start to panic because I am not skating as well as I would if we were going the "right way" I make a quick mental note to start skating the other way in order to equally train my body.
I round the turn and catch up to Steely who reaches out her hands. I grab hold, preparing for the rush of being swung around and catapulted forward. I am always amazed at Steely's strength.
Something goes wrong and my foot twists and folds under me. As I land on my ankle, I hear an audible crunch. The sound that issues forth from my mouth is almost inhuman and I crawl from the track, breath raspy with pain and shock. I nod my answers. Yes, I'm alright, yes I need ice, and finally verbally, I need a minute (to get off the track). I can't remember if I crawled or skated off. Steely arranged for ice and the skating continued with me smiling from the sidelines and quietly cheering my former pack along.
I checked for range of motion and tenderness and found that I was ok. I was fine walking, and eventually left to pick up Biker Bob. the ladies stopped to check how I was, and the Captain came over to not only check on me, but to tell me about even earlier classes available. boot camp, to teach the skills she hasn't had time to teach. I expressed an extreme interest and was flattered that she would make a point to tell me about it personally. It doesn't take much.
When I woke up Tuesday morning, I couldn't walk. I crawled to my phone to ring my boss.
Thankfully, Biker Bob was able to take me to the Dr's office where I was blessed with a quick appointment and a Dr who laughed a bit and said I am among the elite few who can fall on her own ankle. He sent me to xray because I had "boney tenderness"
The only time I almost cried through this ordeal was when I had to walk 1/4 to 1/2 mile to the xray room. I had a cane, but at this point was able to walk ok, and it was more of an annoyance than a boon, although I did lean on it heavily during the walk back to my Dr's office.
Dr informed me that I am not broken, only sprained and will heal as my body deems fit. I took the res of the day off from both jobs and tried to allow Biker Bob to spoil me. We ran a lot of errands for him, his computer pooped out and so did his truck, and I took a nap. He helped me with my shoe when I couldn't put it on, and took me out for very yummy pepperoni and artichoke pizza. He also dished up a healthy load of crap for being injured.
So here I am, back at work, and not nearly as spry as I prefer to be. I am happy to report that my bones look good and healthy, and, that I got to keep my xrays, which means I get to look at my bones any time I want. AND I'm getting around pretty good already so I have high hopes of being all better in time for practice on Monday, since that will be the first day of boot camp. AND after tonight I should have enough tips saved to buy a new pair of roller skates. So you see?? being ginpu isn't so bad after all.

Missing Monster

Here I am!

Wednesday I was laying low after the big Email madness. Bossman suggested that I watch myself and not goof off which I kinda did a little bit, I should still...Big craziness? got an email from C. He found my blog. What I thought would be a huge catastophy and terrible thing (I know, it's out there, I knew he would find it eventually) turned out to be a really great event and he now knows about Biker Bob (I wasn't telling him because I didn't want another repeat of the E situation where he dissapeared out of my life for a year over a guy who was only in my world for a few weeks.) and I really feel as though it brought us to a more healthy place in our friendship. Reading it (the WHOLE THING!!!) helped him to better understand me, and our conversation helped me to better understand the place he is right now. it was GREAT!

Thursday I drove to Vegas, burned my mouth on hot tea, attended a Wedding, wandered around the casinos, and went to bed.

Friday, I drove home from Vegas, wandered around my apartment, and went to bed. I stopped in Jean to pee since I have never been there and if I can time my urination to coincide with new experiences, how can that be wrong? as I was leaving, I saw a man standing by the side of the road apparently talking to a tree. Then I realized that he was praying. I took a few minutes to appriciate his devotion to god such that he would pull over in the middle of the desert to pray. how many people, myself included can't even be bothered with getting up early for morning devotions? he may also have just been talking to the tree.

Saturday I spent most of the day reading and doing laundry before work. Then I went to work, got off early, and headed to a bonfire thrown by my friends who are in from VA. You may not remember about a year ago when I wrote this post. My friend was there with her baby. This was the first time I had seen them since the funeral. That baby has her father's eyes. I almost cried. She's beautiful. And she gave me the biggest smile EVER which is way cool because I usually make babies cry. I also got to snuggle the Vislas, which always makes me happy.

Sunday my sister and I went up to our dad's storage, but it was closed. blame me for that one. Went and had pho. mmm. except for the part where I burned my mouth on hot egg rolls. Went swimming at my house with my friends. it was wrestlemainia in the pool. THEN we went for all you can eat japanese seafood buffet where crab and fish jokes did abound. we ended the evening at my friend Liem's house. fun times were had by all.

I'm back at work today and have been plesantly busy. Turns out that Biker Bob will be home tonight so I will pick him up from the airport after practice. Yay. stinky, sweaty Gina. Until tomorrow.

Oh shit

I was going to blog about how great practice went last night and how I got to see a softer, friendlier side of out team captain and how the girls were asking about my derby name and how I need to pick one.

Then I had a catastrophy.

I was sending an email to my friends to get suggestions on said derby name. only, it didn't go to my friends. Nope. it went to a group on property. and some off property. and the recall? only partially worked. there's still multiple emails roaming around. It went almost to the top. and I? am totally panicked. I told the bossman, and I have done what damage control I can, but, um, yeah. that's bad. against company policy. and REALLY embarassing.

I'm waiting for it to bite me in the ass. The people teasing me about it are really helping because it makes me feel better. it's the higher ups that I have not heard from that scare me. I try to be invisible in my cave. I feel like I just ran through the resort nakid.

Weekend Update

Friday night I went out with my family to celebrate my brother getting his diploma. It was yummy. Not the diploma, the food. My Aunt and Uncle started in again on how wonderful I am for being me and not making any excuses for it. Which, I mean, I don't think that's something I should be praised about. It made me uncomfortable. I'm flattered that they think I am wonderful, I think highly of them too. No matter what I said (and I tried a simple thank you)they kept on and on. I didn't know what else to do.

Saturday night I went to see Wicked for my birthday. My sister, mom, adopted sister, and cousin/sister went. It was flawless. I had a wonderful time. Great show. Wendy bought me a lovely t-shirt. Momi bought dinner, and Shawna and Lisa picked up my ticket. It was a perfect evening.

I had yesterday comepletely off! It was wonderful! after a slumber party with Shawna and Wendy, then breakfast, I went home and spent all the rest of the day there! I worked on business (made more that the Punk Rock Craft Fair than I thought I did!) made a purse out of one of Biker Bob's pairs of jeans that he made me, worked on embroidery, made a pin cushion (wasn't nearly as cute as it was in my head, sadly) watched movies (4 of them!!) and was in bed asleep by 10:30!! Glorious! couldn't ask for a better day.

Derby tonight. I'm a little nervous.

Wow! Exciting!

I don't often discuss business here because I don't want to sound like a soap commercial. Perhaps I should mention a little more frequently my often neglected side business simply for the reason that it brings me joy.

So in exciting news, I will tell you that my logo is DONE! Special thanks to Court Jones- www.courtjones.com for designing it for me. He tried to make it look like me but when this is what you have to work with:

and your model keeps falling off her exercize ball, it's tough to get a good likeness. So here she is:

Or at least one of the preliminary sketches. I'm not sure if Court has given me the disk yet. Please note the copyright. This drawing belongs to Court. Please to not "borrow" it. He is a professional artist who makes a living and he worked VERY hard on this design. If you would like to commission work, GREAT!! Please do. I love to see my friends successful.

That rant over, I'll be placing a banner on this page as soon as I get my act together and you can steal and post my banner whever you want. (Sensei)

I've added a new soap to my line! it's Gingerlicious! It has not been posted on the site yet, I need to do some (ahem...a lot) tweaking over there, but it is among the soaps that are now bigger and smellier for your bathtime pleasure. Since I bought a WHOLE BUNCH of Ylang Ylang on sale yesterday, you can expect some of that to make it into soap as well.

I have stickers! and they say, "Feeling Dirty? www.bubbly-creations.com" I made them over at stickerjunkie.com, which had the best price around if you are looking to make a lot of your own stickers. If you aren't, and you just want to plaster MY stickers on your stuff, let me know and I'll send you one.

Sharon, http://sharonreynolds.typepad.com, met me at the Punk Rock Craft Fair on Sunday, and not only bought a bar of Peppalyptus soap, but mentioned it in her blog! I hope she uses it instead of just sniffing it. I like what she has to say in general and have added her to my daily reads. another super cool happy point for her? She eats Pho. mmm. Pho. with my best friend coming into town next week, I hope to have a Pho Fabulous month.

Really, since joining up with The Bad Girls of Craft, I have felt craftily renewed and excited about all things crafty so you will likely be seeing more of my crafty side in the days to come. Right now I am putting aside my wash cloth knitting (also not available throught the site, but I am thinking they should be) to make blankets for my Webmaster Randy (www.rebturtle.com) who's wife is due in January AND my friend Nicole who I have known FOREVER who's dad gave me my wonderfully wacky pet bird is due in February. Let us all chant, "January, February. Knit, Knit, Knit!"

yeah. totally.

Found this while surfing at Diary of a Freak Magnet, http://diaryofafreakmagnet.blogspot.com/, written by Ginger who, not only shares my mother's name but must be a part of my family somehow because, um, we're all freak magnets too.

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Finally! A diagnosis!

And knowledge that it isn't just me.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14124484/

mini drama dots

• had Jury Duty yesterday. Ran into my brother who also had JD. We were out by noon. It was lovely.
• Biker Bob headed off to Illinois yesterday. Since I wasn't working I took him to the airport. I have grown accustomed to having him around so it was a bit strange to not be able to hang out with him or call him after work last night.
• Still living in the land of confusion.
• Little "run in" with coworker this morning. She had to attend the weekly meeting yesterday since I was out. They asked her about a report that I tend that had fallen out of favor but has been resurrected recently. She was unaware of it.(it is posted on the public drive for all tho see) She complained that not knowing about this didn't make her feel very much a part of the department. I explained the report, and it's history. What I didn't point out is that she has duties these days that people ask me about that I am unaware of. I do not confront her about it. Just as I don't expect her to tell me everything she does, I don't think she should expect me to tell her every time I create a new form or report. I am a bit miffed by the situation, but I am certain that I will get over it.
• I should have taken yesterday afternoon to deal with my dad's storage, but I didn't. It's a 60 mile drive to where it is. It's really easy to find reasons not to go out there.

What.the.fuck???

But last week's ruling, which stated that "limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples furthers procreation, essential to the survival of the human race, and furthers the well-being of children"

ok so gay people don't make good parents and humans are in danger of surviving???? Bull Shit. I'm calling Shenanegans. go get your brooms.

an exerpt from a newsweek article on the gay marriage fight in Washington.

Gratuitous picture and more

Wedding Chic

and now for something a little more serious.

NWJR over at The Daily Snark, wrote a post responding to another blogger's post regarding the term "tard" as used as an insult. Tard. As in Re-Tard. As in, there's something wrong with you so I am going to call you mentally challenged.

I'm not going to pretend that this word has never snuck into my vocabulary. I will claim that I have always found it's use as an insult a bit sad. Perhaps it is because I have been around mentally disabled people my whole life. Uncle Georgie, my great uncle and the youngest of my grandfather's siblings was born with Downs Syndrome. Which used to be called Mongoloid before people decided that the term was offensive to those who hail from Mongolia. There's nothing wrong with Uncle Georgie. He's one of the happiest, most loving people I know. Uncle Georgie loves to draw.

I grew up in a family that took care of their children regardless of their differences, instead of stowing them away in an institution, they raised the mentally different even when, as in the case with my Grandmother's cousin Michael, they were severely handicapped and needed constant care. Michael loves music.

I grew up in a family where sometimes, bad things happen, and you learn to live with them. My cousin Scott grew up in a rural farming community. The children were warned not to swim in the drainage ditches, but dogs will swim in anything. Kids, as a rule, love their dogs no matter where they've been swimming. Scott's brain is damaged forever from pesticide runoff. I don't know him well enough to know what he loves. But he is human too.

Then my nephew was diagnosed with Autism. And I can't imagine ever calling him retarded, although once upon a time, someone might have. Yes, he's a bit different than I. And sometimes, his issues are hard to handle. Every day, I think that my cousin and her husband are amazing because they do everything they can to ensure that he has a good life. (they are amazing for other reasons too) He's the only person I know who can wiggle his toes independently of each other. Finn loves electronics.

Looking at it my family as their individual diagnoses, it is easy to call them, or anyone else who is developmentally disabled, mildly goofy, just plain dorks, "retarded". And in some ways, we are all a bit slow, if you want to use the literal translation. Maybe though, it is time to put away archaic descriptions and think about the people underneath the label. Because they aren't really retarded. Just wired differently than me. I wish I could wiggle my toes like Finn. I would like to be proud of my art like Uncle George. Dance when I choose, like Michael instead of feeling self conscious. hmm. interesting.

Old Roomates

Over the years, I have had quite a few roomates. Not counting my family, but counting boyfriends, I have lived with 8 people. (not counting the ones that were in temporary one or two month living situations while I was in Americorps*NCCC.)

One of my longest lasting roomates was Jamie who occupied the second room of my apartment in Santee for 3 years. When she decided to move out, she gave a month, was gone in a week, and she left all her stuff. (she paid a month's rent ahead). I found a new roomate and he and I moved her stuff into my garage and we cleaned her room. (which is another story for another day). It took her 4 months to get her stuff. Even she admitted that it was nice of me to store it and that it would have been excusable if I had left on the lawn.

She works at my main place of employment and I see her every so often. Sometimes I stop for a chat, sometimes I just wave or nod and move along. We were never close, she and I, and if not for the fact that we run into each other at work, I doubt I would have ever seen her again after we parted ways. It's always strange and akward to see her, because I don't really know what to say. I don't dislike her, she's a really neat lady. I guess knowing someone for 7 years, and living with them for 3 of them doesn't make the two of you friends. You just can't force something in common.

Weekend Update

I wore my very cute little white dress with little red flowers on it to the wedding I attended on Saturday. It was an outdoor affair. It rained. Thankfully, there was an indoors to escape to and C (it was a mutual friend) had a rain coat in his car. I'm sure pictures are forthcoming.

Sunday was The Punk Rock Craft Fair. It was also an outdoor affair, it was also raining. thankfully I am a master procrastinator and I still had tarps in my car from Yellowstone. My soap did not get wet. I sold more than I have sold all year, which is still less than I had hoped (I set my expectations high at sell-out) but I am still happy. I'm looking forward to going home and taking inventory and all that.

Meanwhile, Biker Bob cleaned out his closet and presented me with a whole monkeyload of old jeans, one of which will become a new pair of cutoffs, the rest of which will be crafted into other things. I'll have to think of something extra interesting to do with the courds his ex left behind...

Passive Agressive? I hope not.

So yesterday, I was feeling unusually domestic and I got it in my head to cook a nice dinner for Biker Bob and I. I was dissapointed to discover that he had A LOT of work to do, but we worked it out so that he could work at my house.
After a few phone calls, (one of which I may have gotten a little be bitchy about ending because he was telling me all about the wonders of motorcycle racing and I am not a chat on the phone for the sake of chatting kind of gal) we decided that he was going to stop by work and then come over.
So I went home and started cooking because the cookbook said it would take 30 minutes to cook the main dish. I even made a pudding pie. I make biscuits twice because I burned them the first time. Stay tuned for a list of reasons why I hate my stove. I rocked out to Guns 'n Roses and took out the trash and cleaned the kitchen. I got progressively cranky because it had been an hour and a half and he wasn't there.
I finally spoke to him on the phone, he had gotten sidtracked by his boss at work, which really is a good excuse, but I was already cranky. Then he started telling bad jokes to waylay my crankiness, and I may have gotten a little snappy before I got off the phone. In my defense, see above statement about the phone.
Dinner, was actually pretty good. Edible at least, except the meat was cold. I mentioned more than once that perhaps it would have been better warm. I wasn't saying it to be bitchy, I really think it would have been better warm. or hot. I even mentioned that it may have been cold despite being kept in the microwave until BB got there (the stove was busy rebaking biscuits, remember?) because the recipe called to cook the meat AND THEN the sauce. But I still wonder if I was being unconciously passive agressive.
Maybe I should accept that maybe I am not cut out for a life of domesticity.

Reasons Why I Hate My Stove:

Things take extra long to bake. which means I tend to forget they are in there. and then I have burned biscuits and cookies. How am I supposed to claim to be good at baking when my stuff gets burned all the time??

It's not level. REALLY not level. so everything I cook is tilted. Which means sauces don't get cooked evenly because they are deep in some places and shallow in others. Which means that my veggies sometimes sit in thier own steam water because while it was even when I filled it, it isn't when I set it down.

Family fun

I went to my mom's last night for dinner. Was two hours late (a rarity for me) but since dinner wasn't ready yet, it was totally ok. Spent some good time with my family, and got to see little sis a bit. We played scrabble after dinner (she won. I gave up when I couldn't figure out what to do with Z and Q and no vowels) and a little bit of stringy cats cradle fun. I have retrained myself how to accomplish Jacobs Ladder. Some life skills are important. Brother was busy writing a research paper, my mom, went to bed early. she was tired. I think she works too much and after the whole hospital scare last December, I worry that she will collapse again. (http://ginamonster.blogspot.com/2005/12/where-did-i-go.html)

And, it's time to go. love to you all. until tomorrow.

Sigh

I get myself into some really interesting situations. Really, Really interesting. Yes, I know I am being vague again, and no, I'm not going to tell you what is going on at the moment, I need to work some things out first. I just needed to vent a moment. I'll talk to you all tomorrow.

Roller Derby Diaries

I love my new wheels. I lubed up my bearings while I had them out and what do you know? they spin now. I have decided that my Team captain intimidates me even though I REALLY try hard not to be. Part of that stems from the fact that I feel totally inept on my skates. I remind myself that the only thing those other girls have over me is time (thank my belly dancing teacher for those wise words) and maybe a sense of balance.

It's taking me a long time to get the hang of certain basic moves, although I have to say that my T stop improved exponetially when I put the indoor wheels on. My snow plow, backwards skate, and the whole turning around thing still needs work. But I am willing to work at it. It's hard for me. On one hand, praise makes me fuck up. On the other, some encouragement that maybe perhaps I might have enough ability to make the team someday would be nice. I get that from the other girls, but honestly, it's the captain's choice who makes the team, and since I am still not in thier Yahoo Group...I'm not really feeling in the "in" crowd. Thankfully I have a couple of friends now who are in the gorup who have promised to keep me updated. It would be nice to hear her say that she sees that I am trying and maybe even improving a little bit instead of things like, "You DO know how to stop, right?" or "Work on it, it's basic". Except for the unexpected gift last week, she pretty much ignores me or, if I try to participate in discussion, she makes me feel as though my comments are not valid because I won't be there that long. Which is actually kind of good because it makes me want to stay so I can prove her wrong.
As I write this, I can understand why there were girls that did not feel welcome so they went and formed thier own league, which has caused drama, not so much, surprisingly between the two teams, but rather between the owners of the skating rinks involved. sigh. If I didn't think it was GREAT exercize, I would consider wandering off just to avoid the upset. I have enough drama. more than enough. Feeling like the girl who isn't good enough but no one has the heart to tell her not to bother is tough. Every team has at least one that wouldn't make the cut if there was a cut, I fear that I am she.
From the sound of things at the meeting last night, it's looking to get a lot more difficult to be a part of the team. Try outs, subs, skating lessons. I know it's a sport, but I always saw it a bit more tounge in cheek than serious. Be out there having a good time, kicking some butt, be a good, or even great skater. I guess I was a bit discouraged by the prospect of having to try out when I signed up during "come one, come all, we'll teach you how". The reasoning of trying to keep out the women who just want to check it out only flys with me for so long. I understand that she doesn't want to have to keep teaching the basics, but maybe someone should be our coach, instead of her trying to do it all.
I am willing to go to Derby Boot Camp. I will continue to push my limits every practice. But I think I might be done cutting her slack for treating me sideways. While I may not be doing everything right, I certainly have not done anything wrong.

George

George walked into my store on Saturday with one of those smiley face Wal Mart stickers on his shirt. He was an older man accompanied by a younger man (closer to my age) who was talking on the phone. I rang the younger man for a drink and a bagel, and then George ordered a bagel too.

I asked if he wanted a knife. (to cut his bagel and smear his cheese)

Shocked, he replied, "NO!" and then, "We are not Terrorists!"

I looked at him, puzzled, and replied, as I held up a plastic knife, "Well, if you were, I doubt you could do very much damage with this!"

He accepted the knife, explaining that he thought I was asking if he had a knife. He thought that since he was of middle eastern decent, that I assumed the worst about him. He also asked if people didn't come in with knives.

Now I don't know about that, and it's none of my business if they do. Heck, I carry scissors and a leatherman in with my knitting, which is on my person most of the time. I explained that it is not my business if he carries a pocket knife.

He looked confused and asked my name.

"Gina", I replied, smiling and holding out my hand, "What's yours?"

He shook my hand, replied George, and asked after lemonade. Then he was surprised that I remembered his name a minute or two later.

I thought it was sad that the assumption is sometimes automatically made that anyone from the middle east is a terrorist. In the days following 9-11, my friend Martin was called "terrorist" many times over. His family escaped religious persecution in Iraq (I think it was Iraq). Martin, was born here.

I pondered this subject a couple of weeks ago but other stuff kept coming up. When I really thought about the current American attitude towards those from the Middle East, I realized that every generation (blames the one before...) has it's "enemy". Right now, anyone from the war torn countries over there are potential terrorists. In the 80's, anyone from Russia must have been a member of the KGB. China, at one point, was considered so evil that did not appear on American maps. (or so I have been told. If this is a myth, let me know) What I do know for sure is that during WW2, thousands of Japanese-American citizens were rounded up and placed in concentration camps. Many, lost everything. They were let out with an "oops, we were wrong" In fact, during the McCarthy era, your next door neighbor could have been a communist.

I was actually comforted by the thought of, "this too shall pass." I wonder who will be considered "evil" next?

Wheeee!

or should I say Wheeeel!!!

My Derby Team captain must have decided she likes me at least a little because she presented me with a new set of wheels last night to try out. I tried not to jump up and down for joy. Have I mentioned that I don't want to put my pretty new wheels on my crappy old skates? with their slow bearings and ill fitting boots that my feet slip around in despite tying them as tight as they can go, thick socks, and inserts? They might look like Sketchers but I really bought them at Wal Mart when quads came back into style. Picture me (upon your knee, just tea for two and two for tea...) roller skating through wal mart trying them out...

I try not to tell the other Derby Dolls that. I just say that they are cheap and I don't like them and that I am saving for a new pair. I can't wait for the next bout because the roller skate dealer is usually there and I can try on different ones and see if I like how they fit. In the meantime, I'm gonna keep on savin!

Crankypants

I do pretty good attitudewise.

Most days, bug guy and I share lunch many days because we are both trying to cut down on our intake and around here, half a meal is a weeks worth of food in (insert name of poor starving country. France also works because they eat small portions).

When Bug Guy orders, he makes sure he gets me LOTS of french fries because I like them. I have been telling him for weeks not to get them anymore because I will eat them if they are there and I have been gaining weight again. This weekend, my scale hit 160. again. yes, muscle weighs more than fat. but that excuse only flies so far.

today, we shared a quesadilla. melted cheeze in a tortilla (with chicken). plenty of fat happening. Bug Guy requested fries with that.

I pulled him aside and told him that I absolutely DO NOT want french fries anymore. that I need him not to order them because if they are there, I will eat them. I have a problem that way. He tried to make a joke of it, but I had to tell him firmly. I don't like having to tell anyone anything firmly. And yes, it is my responsibility to control myself. On the days when Bug Guy and I don't share, I get a small bowl of something or salad and half a sandwich.

Apparently, I do not come across as a serious individual. Maybe our society does not recognize non yelling communication. I hate getting cranky with people. It makes me feel like a bitch. But I don't think I should have to yell at someone in order to drive a point home. I don't think I should have to get angry for people to believe I am serious. Maybe I just need to start being better at saying no...

I can think of a worse pie to be compared to...

You Are Mud Pie

You're the perfect combo of flavor and depthThose who like you give into their impulses

What Kind of Pie Are You?

In the mean time, I scalded myself on hot milk last night and one of my coworkers signed me up to work the Gay Pride Parade, which is funny, except that I am busy that day. Last weekend's bachelorette is getting married. Speaking of the b party in vegas, I forgot to buy her a gift and I feel like a heel.

So, there's this kitty. and she's sick. I think it's because of her flea collar. Those are toxic you know, and in my neighborhood? it likely came from the $.99 store, you know? He fur is falling out and she won't eat. she's a nice little kitty. I don't want a kitty, but I can't do nothing and the best care for her would be at my house since she seems to have been permenantly put out according to her neighbors...I will feel forever guilty if she dies, but I know this is how women become "the crazy cat lady"

Things that make me go WHEEE!!!

I don't think I have mentioned the part where Tom, of Tom's Daily Rant, is sending me The Reluctant Dragon on DVD. I can't WAIT for it to arrive! and his blog is an interesting read too, when I have my computer back and I can do those things. I can't remember if I have put it over in my links, but I will if I have not. Maybe I will send him soap.

Bonanza Jellybean put me on her blog roll, which made me feel so loved and interesting, which, by the way, is how I feel any time people put me on thier blog roll because, I mean, they wouldn't put me there unless I was loved and interesting, right?

Meanwhile, in not so exciting news, I met my Dad's girlfriend yesterday. No, I don't trust her any more than I have trusted any of the other women he has dated and I have met. Funny thing was, I got the same vibe from her sons towards me. heh. smart boys. I'm normal though. well. sort of. I'm not drugged out or a gold digger at least. ANYWAY, everything in the storage is now mine per my dad (and, well, considering I had it transferred into my name, I guess it's mine anyway) and I am to do with it as I choose. I choose that my seester and I should take what we want and sell the rest. The proceeds will go into an account for my dad when he gets out, which, although DGF wants to get him into a program and out as soon as possible, I don't mind him languishing a bit so that I have plenty of time to take care of business.

Yes, I will make sure there is a bit of money on his books, because, well, that's the kind of gal I am. But only a bit. I don't want him to suffer, but I don't think he should be overly comfortable either. It's jail after all.

Apparently, they charged him for having 5 vailume (spelling??) without a precription. It was, in part, guilt by association. He was stopped outside a known drug house. I figure that a man of his age who is trying to get clean should know better than to frequent places where there are drugs. Even if he was down in the dumps that day. (week, whatever, he and DGF were having an argument and he went to his "friends" looking for comfort) I would like to know what happened to the motorcycle he was riding that day...

So DGF, has big fake boobs so when she hugged me, there was no soft squishyness, they were really firm. Like BOING!!! It kinda hurt. I'm glad mine are real. much nicer for hugging.

Last night, I sold out and skipped derby practice to work at Harbucks. I wanted to be there, I really did. But I want to pay off the credit card more. and for some reason, (yes, I know why) the balance has been going up not down. damnit.

I have saved $88 towards new skates. only like, $200 left to go...I might be exaggerating on that one. but only a little bit. I want GOOD skates. The kind that I don't have to work against. I think my skates are part of the reason I'm the slowest on the team. They just weren't built for speed! Plus, my feet go all crooked in them. Which is why I need whole skates not just trucks, wheels and bearings. I WILL be a Derby Doll!! I want to kick ass on the roller skates! hee.

I could use another day

I left last Friday for a bachelorette party in Vegas. I must be an old lady because I was in bed by midnight both nights. I tried to tell the girls that it was a BAD idea to keep going back to the hotel to change or whatever, but they insisted that they didn't want to wander the strip in thier dancing shoes. Apparently, unlike me, they don't suffer from the stop and drop* ailment that plagues me and mine.

But I had a nice time and just enough adventure. But I am tired and wish that I could be at home playing crafty.

Speaking of tireds, Derby kicked my butt on Thurday. it was my hardest practice yet. I wondered if the sport was for me, and then I realized that every time something becomes physically demanding and I don't get it, I find a reason to quit. but not this time. This time, they're stuck with me until they tell me not to come back. I'm not going to tell myself that just because I can't turn around without falling that it's "not for me". This time, I'm going to keep falling until I get it.

Update

They took my dad into custody according to the messages that were left on my various answering services. I need to call his girlfrind today and discuss things with her. I want to feel sorry for him, I really do. All I can really do is pray that the program he will be enrolled in will help this time. and that his girlfriend will be able to follow through on her hope to get him out of town when he is out so that maybe they can start a clean life together. Except, I know he's tried that before, and he just found the drugs again. every time. I will never stop hoping. It hurt me when I heard his voice break as he told me he loved me.

In other news, yesterday was the first day that I had no contact with Biker Bob. Ordinarily, in addition to emails, we speak to each other on the phone at least once or twice. I, of course, am jumping to all sorts of conclusions in my head because that is what I do. I keep trying to remind myself that sometimes people get busy and aren't able to talk. Then that stupid little voice, the one that feeds my insecurities so that it is amazing that I can function says, "he got tired of your antics" "He decided you weren't so cute" "You hurt his feelings the other night and he would rather not be around you"

I suppose I should explain how I may have hurt his feelings. It wasn't intentional, it was logic. But I think sometimes that he doesn't realize that I wouldn't hang out with him if I wasn't attracted to him. Wouldn't find ways to spend time with him if I didn't enjoy his company.

He appeared in an ad for a guitar company with a couple of his musical friends and bandmates. It's a great picture, and I have sent it to all my friends and close family so that they can take a look-see. Apparently, after the ad came out, he got lots of fan mail from women. In Thailand.

I've no doubt that these women were legitimately attracted to him, he's a good looking fellow. However, women in Thailand, and I'm not saying that they are all like this, but I do believe that you can mail order wives from Thailand. and having dated an asian man for many years, I know that it is an opportunistic culture without a lot of opportunity. That's why so many people from there want to be here. If I was a woman, looking to better my life, I would contact a young handsome American too. I should have pointed it out that way instead of the way that I did.

But I should also stop thinking I have to apologize for speaking my mind and being who I am.

I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill. I usually do.

Later...But not much:

All is well. Apparently, we're both a little insecure about things.

Danger ahead

So, I was at Wal Mart yesterday because, well, they have everything I need or don't need under one roof and I wanted a new movie (Bought Bridgette Jones, Edge of Reason, forgetting that the movie was so painful I didn't like it all that much) and to look at yarn maybe (I didn't buy any. good girl) and office supplies.

While in the movie section, I ran accross a title "Leroy and Stitch" which apparently is another sequal to Lilo and Stitch with, is one of my favorite movies. Leroy, apparently, is Stitch's evil twin. Leroy, is also the name of my father. You know, the MIA one. I called my sister, we had a giggle about it.

This morning, someone called the business line. at 6 am-ish. I, of course, did not answer, but I looked and they appear to have left a meesage. Guess I will know when I get home!

I arrived at work, and there was a mystery message on my phone. I thought I heard Daddy's voice in the distance.

Then, my mom forwarded me a message so that I could be prepared. Daddy is looking for me. I doubt he will actually make enough effort to actually get ahold of me. I wonder what he wants. Last time he tried calling he needed a ride somewhere, but I was in Yellowstone. The time before that? He needed me to convince my mom to lend him money. That was around Christmas for those of you who weren't around then. It had been two years, at that point since I had heard his voice.

I knew there was a reason I had been wearing my grandmother's ring lately.

It makes me sad that the first thing I think is, "I wonder what he wants" but I can't worry about him any more. It's a waste of my time.


***ADDED LATER***
So, my dad got a hold of me, and apparently, he was arrested again. (As Biker Bob reads this, I imagine he's considering running away.) He is supposed to get sentenced today. Without going into details, mostly because I don't have any, I don't know why he was arrested. He says he's clean but I don't believe him. He also says he is trying to get into a program.
Meanwhile, he is behind on the rent for the storage unit that holds everything he owns. Which means the Heirlooms, china, antiques, pictures, everything. (I don't care about his personal crap)
Yes, I paid the rent. and will continue to do so while he is in jail if he goes, but regardless, I want the heirlooms. The antiques, pictures, the rest of the china. (I took a bunch last time he was in jail. Sometimes he asked me to take it, when I did, he was mad.) so, ifn he doesn't put me on the account, then I will take care of it my way. I still have power of Attourny, and have never used it for personal gain. I don't know where I will put it all, I'm sure he will throw a fit. But I don't see as where I owe him anything at this point.

I um, well, er...

got REALLY excited when I froogled kayaks and found this:

http://www.hammacher.com/publish/10343.asp?source=FROOGLE&cm_ven=Froogle&cm_ite=10343

not that I um want it or anything but um, it sure would be cool to have it if, you know, I had somewhere to put it.

And yes, I know that logic suggests that the hull would get all scratched up but, um, I still want it in that kayak crush sort of way. like a celebrity crush. I know it's not practical, it would likely be a pain in the ass, really expensive and not at all practical, but I still want it, you know?

EEK!! CAN I HAVE THIS ONE INSTEAD???? WHO WANTS TO BE MY SUGAR DADDY???**
http://www.sportsauthority.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2137734


**I'm only kidding about the sugar daddy. unless you're young, cute, and nice. in which case, I could definately be up for it so um, let's talk kayaks, shall we?

What the Fuck??

My blog was discovered using the following phrases.

slade ham (okaayyy...)
subcutaneous horn (this one is kind of regular. I actually wish I know more about the phenomenon so that there was knowlage to be gained from it)
i was raised on bread and baloney (blink, blink...)
how to tease him lick (um...I um...wow.)
bad party games (not so bad.)
masterbation using a hairbrush (EEK!!! What? No!!)
latex socks (another regular one. but a really weird regular one)
children, dicipline, counselling (I'm actually afraid to know about this one.)

Oy.

I'm Sailing Away...

Set an open course for the virgin sea...

They called me Captain Zig Zag. Mostly because I don't steer well in a strait line. Ever, actually, but in the ocean, it's even more difficult! Yes, it's true. Sunday found me on a lovely schooner and since it was my first time sailing, Bart, the enthusiastic owner of the boat (standing behind me) set me at the helm. I couldn't see anything but the masts and the people sitting in front of me. and by the time someone told me about the whole compass thing, my leg was tired and I had to turn over the wheel (I was partially standing on a small piece of wood which put me off kilter and did funny things to my musculature)
I had a wonderful time and was able to get a lot of relaxation in, as evidenced by this picture...

It was a lovely day off the California Coast, and I went further out to sea than I have ever been before. I did not jump into the ocean with my shipmates, since I didn't have a swim suit and I like to be able to see or at least feel the bottom. Instead I perfected my movie star look...

And listened in on the conversations of Brad, the Esoteric Scholar. I would have liked to have talked more with Brad, but I have that whole "shy" thing going and I was feeling a bit intimidated by his knowlage base. I am hoping that I have the opportunity to discuss the meaning of the universe with him one day, I think that I would find his insight useful and facinating.

I can thank C for bringing me along, and introducing me to so many interesting people. And also for taking such a great photo! There are lots more, but, well, you know, nothing like vacation photos to bore you to tears.

Other fun stuff ahead!

I thought I had something to say

but I don't. so in honor of my lack of writing, I leave you with this picture from Yellowstone. This little guy didn't make it thorough the winter. I thought it was a very cool shot. It's almost like he's lookin at cha.


***EDIT LATER***

Hi Guys. Rich said he didn't know what this is so I'll tell ya. It's a buffalo calf carcass. When we reached the Mud Volcano area on our first full day in Yellowstone, we happened to get there just as a Ranger was starting a guided tour. It was very cool and infomative, I wish we had indulged in more of them. So anyway, our last tour stop was off trail. Yes, we left the boardwalk and went off into the trees calling "Hey Bear!" all the way to scare off any well, bears! The Ranger warned us that there was a carcass ahead. I expected something gross and smelly, what we actually saw was this little guy. There was something morbidly beautiful about the sight of these bones laying in a field of green grass. Life and death all summed up in one still life photo op. Sadly, as always, what I see and what the camera catches are two different things. My view of this was so much more vivid. I would have liked to have gotten clser, but you have to be careful where you walk out there because you never know where you might discover a new mud pot or fall through the earth's crust into a geothermic feature. Zooming in just didn't have the same effect. But this is definately one of my favorite shots from the trip. Maybe I should only subject you to favorite shots.

Richer or poorer

I was over at Zube's place, and one of the comments that was made really bothered me. I started to rant right there in her comments, but decided that the real place for me to express myself is here.

A commenter said that she giggled while watching the news coverage of the Northridge Fires here in California. She giggled because those were million dollar homes burning and she felt as though they deserved it for being wealthy. Or, at least that is the feeling I got from her comment.

My Aunt and Uncle lost their modest home in that fire. They lost everything. I imagine that their home was not shown on the news because they are just regular working folks. But wait. even wealthy people are working folks. they have to have gotten their money from somewhere and while I can't say I agree with the whole multimillion dollar cabin thing or the fancy schmancy houses driving up small town real estate, owning more house than you can possibly use, I would hate to see someone lose the things that they worked hard for. Even if it is a summer home.

This comment broadsided me in another way too. nearly three years ago, fires came through my neck of the woods. I wasn't sure if I would have a job. Many people died near where I work, many more lost their homes. I lost count of how many people I know who lost everything that week. On the news? Million dollar homes. In reality? I abandoned my apartment when I could see the flames and my electricity went out. My old neighborhood up the hill? two houses left. My friend Lisa has her housewarming scheduled for this month. Her entire collection of Nancy Drews, hardcover from when she was a kid (she's 50 now) that I borrowed when I was little, that her daughter would have read, gone. My mom sat on her roof and watched the fire come closer. My other friend Lisa's inlaws went back for the horses and lost the car they were escaping in.

I will forever have the smell of fire in my nose. I dislike it intensely.

It's a sore subject. I'm sure Zube's commenter didn't mean anything by it. but I couldn't help but get a little miffed. I feel better now. and I'm glad I ranted here instead of there.

Please join me

in a collective sigh, and a shake of the head, and an unshed tear, and I will discuss it further when it's all resolved.

July 4th fun

It was nice to sleep in. I woke up natrually at the late hour of, um, (fuck!) 7am. But I snoozed until 10 so I think it's ok.

Then I met the bride and groom and signed thier paperwork. so now they are really officially married. Since we were RIGHT THERE, I asked Biker Bob if we couldn't go visit the birdies at Bird Crazy. those nutty Cockatoos jumped me for snuggles. really if I could afford it I would get one, but it would hurt Baby's feelings something terrible and she would hate me forever. She's already jealous of Biker Bob.

Then we went to REI. he wanted to look at the bikes, I was drooling over kayaks (well, not the ones they sell there, but the concept of maybe someday having a kayak of my very own). We discussed the reasons the Derby girls wear skateboarding helmets instead of bike helmets. I don't see why there is a question. It makes sense to me. I'm sure there is a reason, but I don't feel the need to question it, I just want to protect my head from the very hard rink floor.

Then we went to a party with BB's friends and I did my best to be social. I was not uncomfortable, and although he teased me about it, Biker Bob stayed by my side. He just doesn't understand my social anxiety, and that's ok, because if i didn't experience it, I probably would not understand it either. I left the party early for work.

It was likely my worst night at Harbucks. I was mildly bitter for being there in the first place (not helped by learning that my manager could have closed shop at 6pm but she chose to stay open until 11:30, our normal closing time. mental note for the somedays...) and my consolation sparklers? couldn't find them. But Biker Bob came over and sat with me during my break, which was VERY nice.

I fear I might be painting Biker Bob as a bit of a brutish fellow. I hope that you know me well enough to be aware that such is not my type.

Anxiety

Many people do not believe me when I tell them I am shy. I suppose that upon seeing me at work, where I am comfortable and in my element, or among my friends and family, one would assume that I am outgoing and comfortable in my own skin.

I wish this was the case. Truly, I suffer. I force myself to go out and I join groups (bunco, roller derby, bad girls of craft, bellydancing...) so that I am not crippled by my fear. So that I don't allow my fear to keep me in my house and away from doing the things I think I will enjoy. I force myself to go out and meet people or spend time with people who intimidate me a little because I know that my fears are unfounded.

Today, Biker Bob invited me to a jam session and housewarming party. The only people I would know there would be parts of the band and one spouse who may not be there. Biker Bob made it clear that he would be busy playing and not able to spend time with me, which I totally understand. After starting to compose a non committal response, I told him the truth. The very idea of attending this party, where I am sure the people are very nice, requires far more bravery than I posess today. The idea makes me want to curl up and cry. It is so far beyond my comfort zone that I'm having flashbacks.

Flashback: About a year after I left Sea World (I worked there for one summer and was not kept permenantly) D, who was working there again, invited me to a beach party with his work friends, many of whom I had worked with as well. Since I hadn't seen them in awhile, I was a bit apprehensive but I knew I would be ok. I wish I had been ok. D ran off with his friend who has been referred to as GRBF in previous posts, to go goof off. I can't even remember where they were, but it wasn't at the party. I was left alone in a group of strangers and former aquaintences, none of whom I was ever on a phone call basis, many of whom I had not seen in long enough that I may not have remembered their names. I was never part of the party group anyway. (which, I firmly believe, is part of the reason I was not kept at summer's end).
I was reduced to a teary mess, although I hid it. When D and Co. returned, I requested that we leave. As soon as possible. As we drove away, my cloud lifted and I felt better.

If you don't suffer from social anxiety, then it is hard to understand why a grown woman would be so worried that no one likes her. That the very concept of attending a party with strangers (or worse! mild aquaintences!! They have formed an opinion!!) would so strip you of your confidence and feeling of self worth that you know your very attitude at said party would be grounds for whispers. That your anxiety will perpetuate any imagined slights into complete mental agony. breakdown. humiliation.

It was difficult to explain this to Biker Bob. He did wonderfully at my mom's house on Saturday and played in the pool like he had known every one for years. He doesn't seem to suffer from this affliction. He said he had a nice time. When getting to know someone, you learn about thier baggage. I have a lot. I don't know if he can even guess the half of it. I do firmly believe everyone has issues, everyone has idiosyncracies. The problem is finding someone who's baggage you can handle.


In other news, I am Partner of the Month at Harbucks, which gives me endless pride and amusement. I've never been employee of the month anywhere!

Happy Anniversary to my Seester!

Biker Bob and I were siting on the couch watching a movie last night. I had my head on his belly which was gurgling something fierce. He moved across the room, worried about breezes wooshing past my head. (since apparently, his farts don't stink, which, to give him credit, I didn't smell anything) Once we had retired, I was teasing him about it. In true man fashion, he let one go. It vibrated the bed. (which actually grossed me out quite a bit, but, what can you do?) We had this conversation this morning:

Me: Meanwhile, you have now given me better blog fodder than my original idea of discussing that bed rattling fart from last night.

BB: your bed is kinda rattlely it really was really a little fart the bed just made it sound like a big powerful testosterone powered fart.

Me: Damn Ikea furniture.

Me (again!): you know I'm going to have to quote you, right???

BB:what did I say that you want to quote?

Me: the whole fart conversation. it's hilarious.are you glad now that dean renamed you?

BB: No, because now I sound like a fat biker who rides a Harly and has tattoos who farts loudly and is generally an east county barbarian. I am in good shape have no tattoos don't fart much.

And I really think that last sentence would make a PERFECT personal ad. heh.

another conversation

Harbucks Regular: what's the best kind of monster???

Me: (without missing a beat) A Gina monster!!!

Harbucks Regular: (giving me a strange look) A Sea monster.

Me: Cute! (but thinking to myself, nuh, uh!!)

training today

I'm in training today which means I won't have a whole lot to say, and, worse of all, i won't be able to visit my favorite bloggers which means I might just go crazy. sigh.

Cold Fish

This post has been inturrupted to bring you a special bullitin


While working today, I came accross the following MSN poll:

Many people feel that the United States' national anthem, "The Star-Spangled Banner," is too difficult - complicated words and a hard-to-sing tune - as well as containing violent images. Which of these songs do you think makes the best national anthem?

This struck a nerve with me. There was a list of alternate songe to choose.

"America the Beautiful"
"God Bless America"
"My Country, 'Tis of Thee"
"The Star-Spangled Banner"
"This Land Is Your Land"

all of these songe are wonderful patriotic songs. But there is only one that is our national anthem. It's sad but true that many people do not know this song. I don't remember when I learned it, but I know it was in elementry school. I learned all of them in Elementry school, including God Bless America. While they all make my heart swell with pride over this wonderful country we live in, only one causes me to place my right hand over my heart, take off my hat and sing along.

It's not a difficult song if you don't think that you need to be a perfect singer. In fact, I think the slightly off key renditions are the best since they are sung with pride and love without fear of judgement. For love of the country we live in, not pride in the ability of the voice.

Only 51% of the voters said the Star Spangled Banner should be our anthem. The tune? can't be that difficult, it's an old tavern song. if a bar full of drunkin englishmen can sing it, so can you. Violent images? There were bombs bursting in air, it was written during a war!! it celebrates the fact that we won that war and are now the great country that we are. the French National Anthem talks about chopping people's heads off!

I am angry about this. Angry that MSN would suggest that we might want to change it because it's "too hard" or "too violent". angry that when I went to my cousin's graduation last week, I didn't see anyone tak off their hats. Anngry that we seem to have forrgotten the fight for freedom and justice that brought us to this land, this paradise. No, it's not perfect. There is no perfect. But there's no place I would rather be, and, at the risk of sounding conservative, if you don't like it, go away. there are some things in this country that need to be changed. In light of the comments made after the recent ruling by the supreme court against the president's wishes, getting a new administration is high on my list. However, Some things must remain eternal for the identity of this country to remain intact.

The American Flag (yeah, care for yours, I'm tired of seeing them tattered and torn. Fly it with pride. That's a rant for another day)

The Bald Eagle

and The Star Spangled Banner. it brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it.

A Public Service Announcement

http://www.takeawhiff.com/

heh.

Hobbies

I have many. I am a serial Hobbist. I want to do as many things in my lifetime as I can so that I don't look back when I am old and say, "gee, I wish I had learned to do that". There are some things I have a lifetime to do like knitting and kayaking, others, I have a bit of a time limit. like Roller Derby.

On a side note, I told a friend of mine yesterday that I was skating and he suggested that I might be getting too old for that. I replied that now is the perfect time to do it. I'm still young, I bounce well. when am I going to do it if not now?? and life is no fun if you think you are going to get hrt all the time. Sure, accidents happen. and they hurt. but they also don't happen. If I'm going to break something, I want it to be because I was doing something fun and adventurous.

So anyway, after putting Bellydance on hold far too many times for far too long because I was spending time with whatever boy I happened to be with at the time, I promised myself that I would not stop doing the things that I love to do jsut because theere is a man in my world.

Biker Bob is VERY understanding about this. Which, yes, Biker Bob, you get major points for even if I don't tell you so.

So unless I have to work or there is something huge going on, I attend Derby Practice. I want to be able to improve my skating enough to compete. I want my team captain to think that I am dedicated enough to be invited to the inner circle.

There is one thing that will stop me from attending practice tomorrow.

My family might go bowling. You may remember that last year, when my little sister was in town, she told me that what she REALLY wanted to do for her birthday was to go Kayaking. so I emailed all my friends and folks who said they wanted to go and told them they should come along too. I had one friend agree to go and the plan was made. That Thurday rolled around and I recieved a call asking if I was going bowling with the family that night. No one told me the plan had changed. I kept my plan to go kayaking. I still agree that I was in the right. I keep a very tight schedule. I need to be informaed if you want my company.

I am aware that my family might go bowling tomorrow night, and even mentioned it to Biker Bob in case he was home early enough from the baseball game to go (I'm not sure he knew that my mentioning it was an invitation. I will have to discuss that with him). I am also aware that there hasn't been a set plan put into place. I requested to know what was going on, and I told my mom that I would be willing to skip practice to go, but today is Wednesday, and I have not heard anything more about it. Frustrating to no end. So I think that tomorrow, I will plan on attending practice as planned. maybe I will see Biker Bob after, like I did Monday. Apparently he desn't mind seeing me when I am all sweaty. If I hear from my family before I go, great! but I don't want to stress about it. I have a life, and I need to remember to live it on my terms and not wait around for the decisions of others. I also need to remember that I cannot expect other people to wait for my choices.

Dear Orlando,
I realize that since I have a celebrity crush on you that I should embrace any opportunity to gaze upon your attractive visage. However, I would like to recommend, as a caring fan, that you write to MSN movies and have them update your picture. This one? Makes you look, um, gay. which, there is nothing wrong with looking gay. if you're gay. but I think, you aren't, so you may want to clear that up a bit.

Not being a fan of soccer...

and without really reading into the article, this headline made me giggle.

"Ronaldo Breaks Cup Record- FULL CUP COVERAGE"

is it implants? a new bra? natrual growth? how big do you need to be to break records? jeez!

Poor Biker Bob

So, Biker Bob and I have plans to spend some time together on Saturday after I get off of work. Meanwhile, I called my mom last night on my way home from practice because I hadn't talked to her in awhile. Apparently, my little sister wants to celebrate her birthday on Saturday.

I'm not the sort to break a date because it's rude, so I asked my mom if I could bring him with. (I then talked to him about it) I could tell that he was a bit uncomfortable about meeting my family, really we are just getting to know each other and I definately think the more "alone" time we have the better. Also, in the scheme of things dating wise, meeting a person's family is generally akin to admitting that there will be further involvement. so I am a bit nervous too. I wasn't really planning to discuss him with my family for a little while (except my seester) and the general knowlege that I have been out on a date or two.

Since little sis lives in PA, there is no way I am gonig to miss an opportunity to come out to play for her birthday. I may even skip derby practice (and I SO need the practice) and the Bad Girls of Craft meeting (which was my backup in case practice was cancelled) to go bowling with the family on Thursday night if they so desire. If bowling is in the cards I plan to ask Biker Bob if he wants to go. I think he might be busy Thursday night though.

So poor Biker Bob. It's bad enough he has to try and fit himself into my schedule. Now he has the added stress of probably meeting my family far sooner than either of us would like. It would have been really nice to spend the day at the pool and making Ice Cream as we originally planned.

I think I may learn to hate summer time. Don't get me wrong, I love the weather, but between the parties, weddings, birthdays, vacations, visitations, and everything else, there is no time to sit back and get to know someone. I tend to have a full schedule from May until September. when does life slow down a bit??

Was the moon full or something?

Friday night...I can't remember Friday night but I am pretty sure I was working.

Saturday I spent some time with Biker Bob. Then I went to work. While at work, I was insulted, snapped at, and generally silly. I'll post pictures of the silliness eventually.
I was insulted: when someone came up to the counter while I was pouring caramel. It's a messy job, I like to focus on it when possible to allieviate the mess. I turned, looked at the couple, who didn't appear ready, and said "Let me know when y'all are ready and I'll be right with you." the answer I got, in a very condecending tone was, "We all are ready now". So I put down my caramel and walked up to the counter, put on my best "you're an asshole" smile and said, "Great! what can I get for you" (or something like that) Why was I insulted? His tone said that he found my use of the term "Y'all" to be indicative of my level of intelligence. I started to write conjecture on what his other opinions of me might be, but it occurred to me that I was assuming that point.

A bit later I was snapped at when a woman came to the counter. Having seen her before, I made a guess at her drink. (we're supposed to remember the regular's drinks) "Cammomile Tea, Venti, right?" I was wrong, it was Tall. one cup.(we are supposed to double cup them for heat) so I grabbed one tall cup and turned for her tea. Then I heard her say, "No." and as I turned she slammed a Grande cup on the counter, and said (firmly) "In this size" I gave her my best "you're an asshole" smile and poured her tea. before she had a chance to ask for it, I asked if she didn't want honey, two packets. her distain was palatable.

The silliness can only be shown in pictures. Biker Bob joined me for my break and waited for me to be done with work so we could go have a drink. The people watching at the bar was phenomenal (and a bit icky) apparently the freaks really do come out at night, and they hang out in East County Bars.

When the girls found out that Biker Bob and I were planning on drinks after work they gave me a new nickname and teased me mercilessly. I am now known as Skankilicious Ho.

Because I am twelve

Nice Rack

I have the sense of humor of a twelve year old boy, which Biker Bob is learning about first hand. As he pointed out, I laugh at Antellope Butts. That's not the point. The point is that my spinning wheel needs new hinges. I might be able to fix the ones I have with a good mallot, but I think it would be better in the long run to replace them. I will be happier, and that's what it's all about. I am not ifnorant to hardware, but while searching for hinges, I found something I have never seen before.

Butt Hinges.

Heh.

I stole a meme.

1. What curse word do you use the most? It would have to be somewhere between fuck and shit. they are both such great words!

2. Do you own an iPod?Nope. And while I wouldn't turn down a free one, there really isn't a desire to own one.

3. Who on your MySpace “Top 8” do you talk to the most?My Seester.

4. What time is your alarm clock set for?6:00 am.

5. What color is your room?Navajo White. Yay, Apartments!

6. Flip flops or sneakers?either. I like both but am more likely to wear sneakers (tenneshoes. we don't call em sneakers round here)

7. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?I like taking pictures of myself.

8. What was the last movie you watched?Last night I watched X Men 3. Then I went home and finished up Pirates of the Carribean

9.Do any of your friends have children?Yes. I don't see them very often though.

10. Has anyone ever called you lazy?Not recently.

11.Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?No.That can be habit forming. I would rather work out my insomnia without help. it's usually caused by stress anyway.

12. What CD is currently in your CD player?The alarm clock has Vivaldi. the car plays Janis Jopiln

13. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?Not a big milk drinker, but I prefer chocolate.

14. Has anyone told you a secret this week?um. I don't think so.

15.Have you ever given someone a hickey?possibly a very small one, but I don't remember. I gave myself one on my arm when I was a kid. and then there was the one on my forehead that I gave to myself...

16. Who was the last person to call you?Brother.

17.Do you think people talk about you behind your back?yeah, I know they do cuz then they tell me about it so we can all laugh.

18. Did you watch cartoons as a child?I still watch cartoons.

19. How many siblings do you have?I lost count. 3 biologically, add another 2 that I adopted because they are cute and sort of related. That I know of. Who knows where my dad's wild oats took root that I don't know about!

20.Are you shy around the opposite sex?Depends on who it is. Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

21. What movie do you know every line to?Every line? None.

22. Do you own any band t-shirts?Not that I'm aware of.

23.What is your favorite salad dressing?probably poppyseed. I eat it when I am feeling naughty.
24. Do you read for fun?YES.

25.Do you cry a lot?not really

26. Who was the last person to text message you?Stena

27.Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?two desktops. One I actually use and one I could use I suppose.

28.Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo?No, I have enough.

29. What is the weather like?HOT & sunny.

30. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?Oh, hell yeah. but they don't have to be!

31. Is sex before marriage wrong? No. My mom taught us to try before we buy.

32. When was the last time you slept on the floor?Does tent camping count? I was onthe ground...

33.How many hours of sleep do you need to function?I like 10, I need 6.

34. Are you in love or lust?um...No?

35.Are your days full and fast-paced?uh, yeah.

36. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? nope. too much to worry about. I just like to eat.

37.How old will you be turning on your next birthday?29. Gasp!!.

38. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?I try to do both correctly, but don't stress over it.

39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? YUP

40. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? I get along well with most people. Most of my friends are male though.

41. Do you like cottage cheese?With Pinapple!

42 Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?Mostly my side.

43. Have you ever bid for something on eBay?oh hell yes. lots of stuff. maybe I should be ashamed...

44. Do you enjoy giving hugs?depends on who I am hugging. I am not a serial hugger.

45. What song did you last sing out loud? "Ball and Chain"

46. What is your favorite TV show?Scrubs. I watch it onTIVO at a friend's house.

47. Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with?What? it's lunch time? great! I am starving!

48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?hee. just now when I thought about the last time I had butterflies.

49. What one thing do you wish you had?My cup runnith over.

50. Favorite lyrics?don't know.

good gravy that took forever.

Meow.

This was taken from the train at the Wild Animal Park on Monday night. He was just sitting there chillin and looking up at us. We heard him roar a bit earlier. that was way cool. Meanwhile, I have downloaded Yellowstone pictures so those are forthcoming!

So what??

Each night, as we clean and close at Harbucks, my coworkers (most of whom are several years younger than me. and by several I mean between 3 and 10) flip on the radio so that we can rock out while we clean. Rock out. In my world that can mean a lot of things. I'm a classic rock kind of girl, but I can dig on the 80's music. Throw on some Punk. Hard Rock. Or a little Disco. Some Swing. Jazz. Whatever. Let's dance and sing, lets giggle and laugh.

Hip Hop. I think I have discovered a genre of music that I might just go ahead and hate. (Gasp!! Racist!!) I can respect the rhythm. I can respect that the people singing are actually on key. But really, that's where my appriciation ends. Call me a fuddy duddy, but it's an assault on my ears. and the culture it promotes? Not respectable. Sure, it might be yours, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Gloifying ex cons? Nope. Pimps? Uh Uh. Here's a lyric for you:

"I'm from the Ghetto, Homey. I was raised on Bread and Baloney" (this gem is currently stuck in my head)

Who wasn't raised on baloney sammiches? we ALL ate baloney sammiches. We were all poor. Hello? Dinty Moore Beef Stew was a treat. I remember times when all we had was top ramen and powdered donuts to eat, and while I may just go ahead and write a book some day, I don't think I (or you) deserve special accolades for growin up poor. It's nothing new, it built character, move along. I am however slightly impressed by your ability to rhyme Homey and Baloney. here's another one:

"Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah. You can do it all by your self. Let me hear you say..."

Quite frankly, I can't understand most of what this man says, but I think this comprises the entire volume of lyrics in the song. and it gets stuck in my head. just as you read it. along with the ear splitting electronic instruments that accompany all hip hop music.

I'm really trying to see the appeal. I just don't. I accept that people like it. I just wish it didn't grate on my nerves at midnight. Why don't I mention it to my coworkers and settle on a new channel? because 2 out of three people in the building enjoy it. and I respect the majority. I pick my fights. Hip hop just isn't worth it. It's an hour of assault on my senses. (More if you count the part where it gets stuck in my head) And I recognise that there are plenty of people who don't prefer MY musical tastes.

So I climb in my car, turn up Janice, or Louis, or whomever happens to be giving a concert at the time, and relax.

"Trouble mine, Lord I'm blue, I'm not, I won't be blue always..."

Family

Yesterday I left work a little early in order to attend a cousin's graduation. I had received the invitation early enough that I was able to request the time off from Harbucks. Leaving my other job early is not generally an issue.

When I arrived at the ceremony, my family was surprised to see me. And they all kept telling me how nice it was that I attended, and what a surprise it is that I went, even taking off of work, and driving all the way from the other side of town. (I live inland, they live at the beach. it's about 20 to 30 minutes). Don't get me wrong, I appriciated thier appriciation, I guess it was the shoch that I showed up, the attitude that I was doing somethinge xtra special by being there.

This bothered me alot. Every time I show up to a family event, they have the same reaction. And every time I respond the same. If you guys tell me that there is stuff going on, I will find a way to attend.

I realize that they might find it a little strange to contact me, because my mom divorced their son/brother, but, like I told my uncle. They are my family. you don't divorce famlies. I don't know them as anything but my family, I am closer to them than I am to my bio father's family.

I tried to explain to them last night that telling my younger siblings about events and expecting me to find out and attend doesn't work. Case in point, Pie called me to invite me to a BBQ. I couldn't go because I was in Utah on my way to Yellowstone. She didn't tell me that the BBQ was in honor of Grandpa's 70th birthday. I am aware that it is my responsibility to remember birthdays, but I am notoriously bad at it. If I had known, I would have at least called to wish him a happy one. Another point? Apparently there was a father's day BBQ. I am aware of it because Brother told Seester that he was going to Nana's for a BBQ on that day. No mention of her going too, no mention of it to me. Seester mentioned it to me because she would have attended if she had felt invited. I could not attend because of the wedding, but an invite would have made me infinitely happy.

I think that my request for personal invitations fell on deaf ears. They just didn't seem to be listening. which means that I will continue to not attend. It's sad, really, and it hurts my feelings a bit. But, like anything I can only control myself, not others. I don't think it is too much to ask to be a part of the phone tree. I guess, like anything else, only time will tell.

What would YOU do??

I am the kind of person who, if you have something on your face, in your teeth, or hangin out your nose, will quietly tell you so that you're not runnin around all boogery.

So yesterday, I'm having lunch with a friend of mine, and mind you, I'm on the short side so I can generally see up everyone's nose, and I noted that he had...

Big long nose hairs sticking out!

What could I do? it's not like you can fix that. push them back in, pull them out (who carries tweezers??) I didn't want to make him self concious, but I didn't want him to run around with nose hairs either.

However, not everyone is a tweezer freak like me. I cannot bear to have a hair out of place. I check my eyebrows for strays every day. I'm not obsessive, I don't carry tweezers, but I will make a mental note for later.

I didn't say anything. I decided it's not my business to make certain my friends are well groomed. Food on your chin, no problem. but I think I will keep my issues away from your nose hairs.

Tee Hee

Blogger ate this here post where I talked all about the DATE I had last night with Dave who has been renamed by my boss and will now be referred to as "Biker Bob" to protect his identity and how I had a really great time and I'm not just saying that because he reads this but because I really did. It was a great post full of dramatic pauses and applause. but blogger ate it (f-kin blogger) so you guys will never know about how I am looking forward to seeing him again some time.

weekend update

Friday night was the rehersal for the wedding I was in yesterday. It was fun. Especially the part where I walked into the screen door right in front of my friends, laughed so hard I sat down and cried, then got something in my eyes so I stumbled blindly all around Mike's parents house, tears streaming, searching for the bathroom. They teased me all evening.

Saturday I had a lovely time with my Seester before I went into work and proceeded to knock over and spill everything in sight.

Sunday I performed my first wedding ceremony. Everyone said I did a great job. I'm still laughing because I stumbled over the word "eloquence". you just can't plan that kind of shit. I also got to end an argument (the playful kind, of course) with the phrase:

"Oh yeah? Well I have GOD on my side" it's good to be the clergy.

I think I'm still going to burn though for saying "Shit" in the church. more than once. But the arch really did look like shit. and I think it would have been far worse to lie to the Bride and tell her it looked great. right?

today my name is Focused

I have been feeling very insecure about my job lately, especially yesterday nd today, so I decided that the best way for me to feel good about my position is to be very productive. Sadly, when I told my boss (borderline tearfully) that I am felling very insecure, he didn't respond. at all. I don't think he hears me.

It's hard to stay focused when you are in filing hell, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel so I am hoping that when I am done, soon, I can resume some of my normal duties and feel good about my position here again. I hope.

Meanwhile, last night at practice I went to do a push up and hit my head on the floor. I now have a tender spot in the middle of my forehead. I giggled so much I couldn't do any more push ups. which is bad because um, I only did two.

My sister has started blogging again! go read her. hhtp://www.lzymzy.blogspot.com

Sometimes I get wrapped up in myself

which is normal. But I was reading an article about Iraq War veterens coming home and all the post traumatic stress issues that they have and I was reminded of Jimmy, who was my boyfriend long long ago, the one who married a woman with my smile, who joined the Air Force soon after I went into Americorps.

And I realized that it is highly possible that Jimmy could have gone to war. and I suddenly hoped that he and his are okay. Because if he wasn't? I would have no way of knowing. So I guess this is my way of putting it out into the universe that if he did go to war, I hope he's home safe with his family. and if he didn't, I hope he doesn't.

Dear loud girls at Harbucks,

When dealing with smiling baristas, please do not change your drink order 3 seconds after your drink is in the process of being made. Yes, we will accomodate your requests, but, I don't want to make you an iced mocha to try and then if you don't like it make you something else (at no cost, of course) after you have just purchased an iced vanilla latte. But I will get that mocha started for you right now. What? no mocha? (dump, rinse) yes mocha, no mocha, yes latte, wait mocha?(dump), no, latte.ok. yes I poured some milk already I would have your drink finished by now if you would make up your mind what you want, no nonfat you're lactose intolorant?(why the hell did you ask for nonfat???) ok soy (dump, rinse, pump, pour, pull, pour) here you go.

When discussing issues with your friends, please, let's use our inside voices. remember that there are people studying for finals right over there. yup, them over there. that's why they have piles of books and computers and by the way I don't need to know that you only like going down on so and so because he has a really nice one, I mean really nice, or that so and so has a little one, because well, that's personal and well, you're still in high school according to my lovely coworker who had to sweep the floor near your table just now, but thankfully now the whole restrant knows that you like going down on so and so because he has a really nice one, but that so and so has a little one...

also, while we are indeed here to serve you, we aren't here to serve you. so a little respect for the workin girls, ok? someday, you'll be in our shoes no matter how pretty you think you are because eventually, daddy isn't going to be paying for those highlights anymore. And you'll be wanting to pay cash for the STD treatment when you get gonorrhiea in your mouth from goin down an all those boys who have really nice ones, and since I seriously doubt you want daddy to know you might not be a virgin or that you've caught herpegonnesyphiaids in your mouth because, I know you're still a virgin as long as you stick to oral, you can still catch nasties in your mouth. and those will need meds I doubt you want showin up on the insurance bills.

(ps. I just noticed that I think in run on sentences. and yes, in my head, my spelling is just as bad as it is on the computer screen)

Yellowstone stories

I know I have not been forthcoming on the yellowstone stories. and that is no fun. I also know that I have not posted any pictures and by now, I'm sure no one cares. So here's what I will do. as with any of my other stories, I will post them as they come to mind. There are things I will discuss about the trip, and others that I will not, which, sadly, will likely be the juiciest stuff from a trip that really didn't have much along the line of drama.

So today, when I was reading LBB's blog, I came accross a term that reminded me of my trip. The term was, Glory Hole.

For those of you who don't know, a Glory Hole as I understand it, is a peephole into the bathroom. you know, so you can see um, glorious things. (eew!)

Any way, while I was in Yellowstone, camping, we happened to be close enough to the showering facility that each day, before we embarked on our adventures, we would stop at the showers, get clean and warm (it snowed our first two days there. we were in tents. that's some cold right there)

Our second to last day, I was showering happily in the warm water when I noticed that I could see the water dripping at the controller in the wall. so, of course I peeked to see where the hole would go. Into the storeroom I saw. Right through a fairly sizable hole. Thankfully there was no one in there, but it occurred to me that anyone passing through could get themselves a show. I'm sure I was not the first to notice.

Perhaps I am a bad person for not mentioning it to my fellow campers. Those that read know now, those that know them might tell. That's up to them. I made my choice based on the desire to continue showering and, I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. had there been an eyeball looking back at me, I might have decided differently. The mext day? I showered. same stall with the hole. I figure anyone peeking deserved the horrors they got.

at it again

So the neighbors were at it again, which kept me up again. I think this was a new woman so the sounds were not as constant as the last one. Every time I would start to doze off again, she'd give a good, loud moan. However, I was in a better mood last night than I usually am when I am trying to sleep through my neighbor's sex life so I just shook my head and tried to sleep. The woman? hilarious. at one point, she sounded kinda like a dog. you know, like she was barking. At another, she reminded me of Dory from Finding Nemo. speaking whale. specifically, humpback. giggle.

If you could see my bedroom window clearly from the sidewalk, I might consider hanging a sign that says, "All your neighbors can hear you" which would cover the whole appropriate for children to read rule and I hope still get the message across. I'm happy, however, that you can't see very well into my bedroom, because it's hot at night and I like to sleep with the windows and blinds (partially) open.

I also think I know who the neighborly culprit is. We had a balcony to balcony conversation about my garden. Not a bad looking guy, actually, and apparently, quite the sexual powerhouse since things would quiet down then start up again about 10 minutes later (not to mention the cinco de mayo marathon) and in case you are wondering, no, I am NOT going there.

In other news, popped into craigslist today for a giggle, and "Colin's twin" is still posting. actually, he's not as cute as I originally thought. Recieved an email today from a nice fellow named Dave. Since he admits that he reads my blog, Hi Dave!

at Harbucks the other night, an attractive man walked in. I flirted. hee hee. (I am not a flirt. A smart ass, maybe, but not a flirt. so for me, to be able to say I flirted? well, kinda surprising.)I mentioned to my coworker that he was cute. her reply?? "I think he might be gay" and then I saw that he was indeed a food nibbler (he delicately nibbled his cookies instead of taking big manly bites) and, his book bag was less a book bag and more a man purse.

So the determination was made that if I am attracted, he must be gay or at least metro which, is held up completely by my past dating history (with the exception of T) and if He's attracted to me (in person), he must be 80.

another hilarious conversation.

When discussing my attitude today:

Gina
Sent: Monday, June 12, 2006 10:59 AM
To: T
this applies too. hee hee.

Main Entry: snap·pish
Pronunciation: 'sna-pish
Function: adjective1
a : given to curt irritable speech
b : arising from annoyance or irascibility
2 : inclined to bite

T:

Main Entry: oh
Pronunciation: 'o
Function: adjective1
a : oh
b : oh
2 : oh…

Dear Coworkers

If you would like to see the control monster continue to rear her um, lovely blonde head, keep pushin. you'll get your stuff when you get it, and, perhaps this construction delay will teach you not to approve a schedule before there are approved drawings. cuz, you know, now you're steppin on my turf and well, I'm tired of being blamed when things aren't done properly, so you can just go right ahead and wait until I finish doing my job correctly.

there comes a time

(when you heed a certain call...when the world must come together as one.)

When a young woman realizes that she has consumed the following things:

Coffee
Doughnut
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Gummy Bears

and should probably go eat some real food. except now she's full and doesn't feel like eating. unless she missed a gummy bear somewhere. and no, not the huckleberry ones that melted all together in her car before she could present their yummyness at work. mmm huckleberries.

A rare blogger complaint

Ususally, I love blogger. but yesterday, it stopped me from my usual daily rambling. in fact, I posted, but it didn't go through. so I'll give you a quick recap of what I would have posted.

A quote from coworker:

"you can't build a restroom without the shitters" heh.

In other news, Brother did not graduate last night. He's supposed to go to summer school, but I fear I have lost faith in his desire to make something of himself.His girlfriend, however, took top honors and all sorts of awards. I am hoping that his respect for her and his desire to keep her in his world will put him back on track. She's not the sort to put up with baloney. True to my word, I have not said anything to Brother. I resigned fromthe position of lecturer and have held myself to it.

hioefully there will be more later because I SWEAR I had more stuff to say, but now I have forgotten what it was.

I had things to blog about

but then blogger didn't work. And I know I am keeping you all in suspense about my trip. I'm just a terrible person.

I am pondering a relocation to Wyoming. I liked it there. in the spring...any comments on the idea would be welcome.

My favorite quote today

this is one of the reasons I love my friend Dana so much. She's great.

We were discussing my trip and how the snow wouldn't have been so bad if I had a hot guy in my tent. I had responded that Willie was the only guy with us and the apparently (he was far away but close enough to see that he had a nice ass) attactive young man I tried to lure into our camp with promises of electricity didn't get anywhere close. I suggested that I scared him away. her answer?

"Nope he was gay because nobody male or female can resist you."


grin!!

First day back

I've been pretty busy, although not so busy that I couldn't catch up on my blog friends (some of you got wordy and I scanned. sorry) There will be pictures, and soon, but likely not today. More likely it will be when I have time to take care of it at my mom's, work situation has changed and I am no longer alone the last hour to do things like download pictures and such.

I'm back!

thanks for staying with me. stories to come.