Thursday, June 15, 2006

Dear loud girls at Harbucks,

When dealing with smiling baristas, please do not change your drink order 3 seconds after your drink is in the process of being made. Yes, we will accomodate your requests, but, I don't want to make you an iced mocha to try and then if you don't like it make you something else (at no cost, of course) after you have just purchased an iced vanilla latte. But I will get that mocha started for you right now. What? no mocha? (dump, rinse) yes mocha, no mocha, yes latte, wait mocha?(dump), no, latte.ok. yes I poured some milk already I would have your drink finished by now if you would make up your mind what you want, no nonfat you're lactose intolorant?(why the hell did you ask for nonfat???) ok soy (dump, rinse, pump, pour, pull, pour) here you go.

When discussing issues with your friends, please, let's use our inside voices. remember that there are people studying for finals right over there. yup, them over there. that's why they have piles of books and computers and by the way I don't need to know that you only like going down on so and so because he has a really nice one, I mean really nice, or that so and so has a little one, because well, that's personal and well, you're still in high school according to my lovely coworker who had to sweep the floor near your table just now, but thankfully now the whole restrant knows that you like going down on so and so because he has a really nice one, but that so and so has a little one...

also, while we are indeed here to serve you, we aren't here to serve you. so a little respect for the workin girls, ok? someday, you'll be in our shoes no matter how pretty you think you are because eventually, daddy isn't going to be paying for those highlights anymore. And you'll be wanting to pay cash for the STD treatment when you get gonorrhiea in your mouth from goin down an all those boys who have really nice ones, and since I seriously doubt you want daddy to know you might not be a virgin or that you've caught herpegonnesyphiaids in your mouth because, I know you're still a virgin as long as you stick to oral, you can still catch nasties in your mouth. and those will need meds I doubt you want showin up on the insurance bills.

(ps. I just noticed that I think in run on sentences. and yes, in my head, my spelling is just as bad as it is on the computer screen)

3 comments:

NWJR said...

I wonder if a "nice one" can also be a "little one".

lzymzy said...

Ha! Ha!

I love my seester!

I think in two ways:

-Bullet points
-Run on sentences

Today, it's points.

(In response to nwjr: Yes, I do believe nice ones can also be little ones. Comparatively speaking of course. I've heard some fellows have REALLY little ones in which case I would suggest that it isn't very "nice".)

doswald74 said...

I manager a sub shop- and i sware i know those girls--maybe after high school they ended up at MSU! lol