Many of you may not know what I do because I don't often talk about work and well, it's kind of hard to explain.
In short, I am kind of like a librarian. Except I don't have books, I have blueprints and project documents. Manuals and records. I am a paper pusher.
One of the jobs I am tasked with is distribution of documents. I also get to dictate what constitutes an acceptable document. Prior to my position being created, it was not unheard of for an acceptable drawing to come in on a napkin. We have come a long way in 4 years.
Enter nightmare. director who is an old school engineer. who contracts to other old school engineers. the contractors constantly send me drawings with misspellings (yeah, coming from me, that says a lot) typos, lacking title blocks, project names, numbers, and once, with the Os in "look" filled in like eyeballs. I tell myself that at least they are electronic in CAD format. (even if sometimes they are drawn to scale in CAD format and have to be monkeyed with before they are useful to me) (this morning said OSE sent me files labelled simply VTV. I replied asking what they are. Need to know that so they can be recorded and filed.)
Then Director comes in. With some lovely drawings he did. On letter size graph paper. In pencil. Since I hold the archives, I generally reject pencil because it smears and fades. it is not at all permanent. That's why it can be ERASED.No project number. No title block. And when I requested CAD drawings, I was told to use these anyway. Never mind that he has staff who have CAD and can transfer the document. Never mind that OSE can do it too. I was told that pencil is archival.
The bossman said there is nothing I can do. It would be awfully nice to get some support. The big bossman won't do anything either. So basically, I have been tasked with putting out a good product, but I am not allowed to demand good materials. So I passed along the shit.
Arguing or refusing amounts to insubordination. So I just copied exactly what he gave me and stuck it in the boxes of the people I was supposed to give it to. I didn't check to make sure the copies were good, I didn't put a number or a recipient name on it. and I learned that my angry walk shakes the whole trailer. So at least if I can't make men quiver in their boots, at least I can shake a doublewide on it's footings.
One of my favorite quotes is attributed to Steven King. "If you don't have time to do something right, when are you going to have time to fix it?"
Of course, I am a very fortunate person in that the universe is always finding ways to cheer me up. So first coworker needs me to roll her butt with the lint roller which, made me goofy and embarrassed because neither of us is touchy feely and that's really getting into her personal space. (I touched her belly once when she was pregnant. I think that is all the physical contact I have had with her in two years) And we had a good giggle over it. Then I had the conversation with bossman...
B: yeah, this show where he eats all this weird stuff. He was in the Philippines and he ate, that baby duck thing. you know the, um, um, pun tang.
G: snort. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! you mean (giggle) Balut! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! (sniff)
B: Don't ever tell anyone I said that.
G: Oh no, I'm blogging it right now. heh. (sniff)
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Fun project. Need your help
In the spirit of all these postcard projects floating about, I had an idea.
I find people's fears fun. Not their scary fears, the kind that keep you up at night, but the silly ones that have absolutely no basis in reality. For example, I don't like to swim in lakes because of Lake Zombies. I know they're in there just WAITING to grab my ankle and pull me under. Then I would be a Lake Zombie too.
Here's where you come in. Draw it up. Make me some art. I want to create a scrapbook of everyone's silly fears. Put it on a post card and send or give it to me. Pass it on. Tell anyone. The more the merrier.
It can be anonymous. But it needs to be postcard size: 4 x 6, because the intent is to be able to put the book on my coffee table and take it with me when I visit people. Plus if you mail it, postcards are cheaper to mail.
Here's some legal stuff to cover my butt in case I want to publish someday...
By submitting information, you grant Gina C a perpetual, royalty-free license to use, reproduce, modify, publish, distribute, and otherwise exercise all copyright and publicity rights with respect to that information at its sole discretion, including storing it on internet servers and incorporating it in other works in any media now known or later developed including without limitation published books.
If you do not wish to grant Gina C these rights, it is suggested that you do not submit information to her. Gina C reserves the right to select, edit and arrange submissions.*
send to
Gina C
PO Box 52
Lakeside, CA 92040
Oh, I can't WAIT to see if people send it in!!!
*Full last name deleteed for my safety. in this case, Gina C is also known as Ginamonster
I find people's fears fun. Not their scary fears, the kind that keep you up at night, but the silly ones that have absolutely no basis in reality. For example, I don't like to swim in lakes because of Lake Zombies. I know they're in there just WAITING to grab my ankle and pull me under. Then I would be a Lake Zombie too.
Here's where you come in. Draw it up. Make me some art. I want to create a scrapbook of everyone's silly fears. Put it on a post card and send or give it to me. Pass it on. Tell anyone. The more the merrier.
It can be anonymous. But it needs to be postcard size: 4 x 6, because the intent is to be able to put the book on my coffee table and take it with me when I visit people. Plus if you mail it, postcards are cheaper to mail.
Here's some legal stuff to cover my butt in case I want to publish someday...
By submitting information, you grant Gina C a perpetual, royalty-free license to use, reproduce, modify, publish, distribute, and otherwise exercise all copyright and publicity rights with respect to that information at its sole discretion, including storing it on internet servers and incorporating it in other works in any media now known or later developed including without limitation published books.
If you do not wish to grant Gina C these rights, it is suggested that you do not submit information to her. Gina C reserves the right to select, edit and arrange submissions.*
send to
Gina C
PO Box 52
Lakeside, CA 92040
Oh, I can't WAIT to see if people send it in!!!
*Full last name deleteed for my safety. in this case, Gina C is also known as Ginamonster
I never thought it would be ok
But first, a bit of madness.
There's a guy that I work with who is unbelievably handsome. And he epitome of sweetness, politeness, and all those good qualities that you like in a person. He's also extremely married. Since I have known this fellow for quite a few years now, I have grown used to his looks and I know how much he adores his wife and child, which of course makes him all the more endearing.
Now I am hardy a prude, generally, when it comes to conversation, but when he made blatent innuendos and comments today I was shocked. and a bit embarassed, as he has never talked to me that way before. The other guys I work with? of course. With them I give as much as I get and we all leave laughing. I think I was just surprised because I don't think of this guy along the same lines as the other guys I know. Perhaps I put him on a bit of a pedestal because he hasn't ever flirted wwith me before. And in the future I will be etter prepared for that kind of attention from him. I will also be more careful with refering to "them being size D" (the DRAWINGS he needed copied) and consider the wording on my request form (loose, or stapled?) a little more carefully in the future. I'm not used to being caught off guard like that.
Speaking of caught off guard, It's Girl Scout Cookie Time. and yes the scouts came a knockin a couple of weeks ago, and yes I bought even though I know I should only buy from Emily (I am a terrible Aunt. I didn't buy from Emily). When the girls came last time, (there were three of them) they came in and checked out the bird while I made my choices. (and took a little tour about the house) I thought it a little odd, how trusting they were of me, but I do live in a fairly small town and I think they could have taken me out if needed. My head was reeling after they left. High energy, those girls.
Today they returned to bring me my cookies. I happened to be reading in my room after taking off my work clothes. I threw some clothes on and answered the door to a whole gaggle of children on my doorstep. 3 or 4 girls, 2 boys and 2 puppies, one small child. They all came in. I even allowed the dogs in my apartment. They milled about for a minute among the mess then wandered back out again. Like something from Our Gang, only preteens. Kinda cool, actually, in hindsight. Once they were gone I realized that I had just let a whole group of kids parade through my house with thier dogs, and I didn't mind a bit. Actually, I kind of enjoyed the momentary hullabaloo. A very funny feeling, for me.
There's a guy that I work with who is unbelievably handsome. And he epitome of sweetness, politeness, and all those good qualities that you like in a person. He's also extremely married. Since I have known this fellow for quite a few years now, I have grown used to his looks and I know how much he adores his wife and child, which of course makes him all the more endearing.
Now I am hardy a prude, generally, when it comes to conversation, but when he made blatent innuendos and comments today I was shocked. and a bit embarassed, as he has never talked to me that way before. The other guys I work with? of course. With them I give as much as I get and we all leave laughing. I think I was just surprised because I don't think of this guy along the same lines as the other guys I know. Perhaps I put him on a bit of a pedestal because he hasn't ever flirted wwith me before. And in the future I will be etter prepared for that kind of attention from him. I will also be more careful with refering to "them being size D" (the DRAWINGS he needed copied) and consider the wording on my request form (loose, or stapled?) a little more carefully in the future. I'm not used to being caught off guard like that.
Speaking of caught off guard, It's Girl Scout Cookie Time. and yes the scouts came a knockin a couple of weeks ago, and yes I bought even though I know I should only buy from Emily (I am a terrible Aunt. I didn't buy from Emily). When the girls came last time, (there were three of them) they came in and checked out the bird while I made my choices. (and took a little tour about the house) I thought it a little odd, how trusting they were of me, but I do live in a fairly small town and I think they could have taken me out if needed. My head was reeling after they left. High energy, those girls.
Today they returned to bring me my cookies. I happened to be reading in my room after taking off my work clothes. I threw some clothes on and answered the door to a whole gaggle of children on my doorstep. 3 or 4 girls, 2 boys and 2 puppies, one small child. They all came in. I even allowed the dogs in my apartment. They milled about for a minute among the mess then wandered back out again. Like something from Our Gang, only preteens. Kinda cool, actually, in hindsight. Once they were gone I realized that I had just let a whole group of kids parade through my house with thier dogs, and I didn't mind a bit. Actually, I kind of enjoyed the momentary hullabaloo. A very funny feeling, for me.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
In light of renewed arguments
Bought forth by certain individuals in comments made towards posts printed in early January, I would like to say the following,
At risk of sounding as if I am prepared to make argument and cause myself to appear a fool by arguing with one, I will defend myself such,
That if you were to read my posts before I proofread them and make the needed improvements you would find the resulting copy to be much improved. In fact, much of my vocabulary is wasted on my lack of spelling skills. Never have I tried to present myself in the manner of an English Scholar, and therefore should not be expected to maintain perfect spelling and grammer. In short, I am human and admittedly imperfect. I write the way I think and speak, for the most part.
Ifn ya don't like it, bugger off. this is MY blog. created for my need to expound myself in a public forum. That people come here, read, and are entertained is a joyous flattery that I would never have thought possible. I am certain that there have been many who have popped in and moved on. Never to return. Feel free to follow in their footsteps if you don't like my misspellings.
This is the only response you will receive here in return to your accusations that I think by myself and not for myself, and that I flow the "spirit of the age"
I spent some time reading this article http://alesrarus.funkydung.com/archives/2211 at the suggestion of Mr Funky Dung. As I commented, I found the article to be well written and objective, something that in my initial predjudice, surprised me. In a good way. It neither changed my opinions or hardened them, but it was interesting to see things spelled out in a manner that was intelligent. and Non argumenitive. If I were a by myself sort of thinker, I think you would have found me small minded enough to ignore the article and indeed small minded enough to laugh off the idea of reading it. Some excellent points were indeed made in the article. I will maintain my own belief on the subject and leave you to yours. We will not change each other's minds.
I flow with the spirit of my heart and soul. I make decisions based on my own conjecture and build my beliefs according to life as I learn it. Or at the very least I try to. This has nothing to do with the spirit of an age which I find to be rather promiscuous and self serving. I can only be the guardian of myself and my own destiny. Preaching to others does not assist in my spiritual growth, as it is quite possible that I will find myself later to be quite incorrect. I can lead by example, by being kind because I have exeperienced unkindness, and by avoiding the mistakes I have made in the past. Do I fuck up sometimes? all the time. but I hope that I am understanding and openminded enough to see that other people do too. and I hope that I do not too often try and set my standards on others. You are entitled to openly express your opinion, not only of me but of my blog. I will never delete your comments as the opinions of others are interesting to me and I do believe in free speech. But please expect a full rebuttal when my character and intelligence is questioned.
At risk of sounding as if I am prepared to make argument and cause myself to appear a fool by arguing with one, I will defend myself such,
That if you were to read my posts before I proofread them and make the needed improvements you would find the resulting copy to be much improved. In fact, much of my vocabulary is wasted on my lack of spelling skills. Never have I tried to present myself in the manner of an English Scholar, and therefore should not be expected to maintain perfect spelling and grammer. In short, I am human and admittedly imperfect. I write the way I think and speak, for the most part.
Ifn ya don't like it, bugger off. this is MY blog. created for my need to expound myself in a public forum. That people come here, read, and are entertained is a joyous flattery that I would never have thought possible. I am certain that there have been many who have popped in and moved on. Never to return. Feel free to follow in their footsteps if you don't like my misspellings.
This is the only response you will receive here in return to your accusations that I think by myself and not for myself, and that I flow the "spirit of the age"
I spent some time reading this article http://alesrarus.funkydung.com/archives/2211 at the suggestion of Mr Funky Dung. As I commented, I found the article to be well written and objective, something that in my initial predjudice, surprised me. In a good way. It neither changed my opinions or hardened them, but it was interesting to see things spelled out in a manner that was intelligent. and Non argumenitive. If I were a by myself sort of thinker, I think you would have found me small minded enough to ignore the article and indeed small minded enough to laugh off the idea of reading it. Some excellent points were indeed made in the article. I will maintain my own belief on the subject and leave you to yours. We will not change each other's minds.
I flow with the spirit of my heart and soul. I make decisions based on my own conjecture and build my beliefs according to life as I learn it. Or at the very least I try to. This has nothing to do with the spirit of an age which I find to be rather promiscuous and self serving. I can only be the guardian of myself and my own destiny. Preaching to others does not assist in my spiritual growth, as it is quite possible that I will find myself later to be quite incorrect. I can lead by example, by being kind because I have exeperienced unkindness, and by avoiding the mistakes I have made in the past. Do I fuck up sometimes? all the time. but I hope that I am understanding and openminded enough to see that other people do too. and I hope that I do not too often try and set my standards on others. You are entitled to openly express your opinion, not only of me but of my blog. I will never delete your comments as the opinions of others are interesting to me and I do believe in free speech. But please expect a full rebuttal when my character and intelligence is questioned.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Correction
From an earlier post, I incorrectly stated that Galelio was burned at the stake for heresay. The following is an excerpt from a biography on him:
"Galileo's support for the heliocentric theory got him into trouble with the Roman Catholic Church. In 1633 the Inquisition convicted him of heresy and forced him to recant (publicly withdraw) his support of Copernicus. They sentenced him to life imprisonment, but because of his advanced age allowed him serve his term under house arrest at his villa in Arcetri outside of Florence."
Thanks to Funky Dung for helping me to see my mistake, and my abject apologies for spreading falsehoods. I do not believe that I was lying, as I believed the information to be true.
Meanwhile, Funky, I may be misunderstanding the Catholic teachings on Sexuality, but it seems as though the teachings and beliefs are not always understood even by those following the religion. Yours, or even your priest's definition might be completely different from other Catholics interpretation. Not to sound small minded or uneducated, but I don't really care what the Catholic Church teaches about sexuality as I am not Catholic and chances are I will not agree based on what I do know about the subect teachings of the faith. (beyond, of course, informational reading and learning for the joy of it) I do not believe that consensual sex between adults is sinful. I maintain that you may believe and behave as you choose as long as it does not infringe upon my rights to believe and behave as I choose. With a consentual adult. And no, I don't want to discuss how this opens up the door to polygamy and adultery. And no, I don't want to discuss how this may or may not bend the morality of this great country of ours. Will I visit your blog? of course. I am thrilled to see that you visited mine and decided to comment. I am generally up for an even exchange of ideas and sincerely appriciate that you brought my incorrect post to my attention. Will I continue to visit? Of course I will, if I find it to be interesting and entertaining. You may very well have very interesting insight into this inflamitory issue. I am definately interested in views. But I will not argue with you. It's an argument neither of us can win, and we will only make ourselves look foolish by trying.
Blessings upon you and yours.
"Galileo's support for the heliocentric theory got him into trouble with the Roman Catholic Church. In 1633 the Inquisition convicted him of heresy and forced him to recant (publicly withdraw) his support of Copernicus. They sentenced him to life imprisonment, but because of his advanced age allowed him serve his term under house arrest at his villa in Arcetri outside of Florence."
Thanks to Funky Dung for helping me to see my mistake, and my abject apologies for spreading falsehoods. I do not believe that I was lying, as I believed the information to be true.
Meanwhile, Funky, I may be misunderstanding the Catholic teachings on Sexuality, but it seems as though the teachings and beliefs are not always understood even by those following the religion. Yours, or even your priest's definition might be completely different from other Catholics interpretation. Not to sound small minded or uneducated, but I don't really care what the Catholic Church teaches about sexuality as I am not Catholic and chances are I will not agree based on what I do know about the subect teachings of the faith. (beyond, of course, informational reading and learning for the joy of it) I do not believe that consensual sex between adults is sinful. I maintain that you may believe and behave as you choose as long as it does not infringe upon my rights to believe and behave as I choose. With a consentual adult. And no, I don't want to discuss how this opens up the door to polygamy and adultery. And no, I don't want to discuss how this may or may not bend the morality of this great country of ours. Will I visit your blog? of course. I am thrilled to see that you visited mine and decided to comment. I am generally up for an even exchange of ideas and sincerely appriciate that you brought my incorrect post to my attention. Will I continue to visit? Of course I will, if I find it to be interesting and entertaining. You may very well have very interesting insight into this inflamitory issue. I am definately interested in views. But I will not argue with you. It's an argument neither of us can win, and we will only make ourselves look foolish by trying.
Blessings upon you and yours.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Nightmare
Had a terrible nightmare last night. The kind where you wake up and you don't want to go back to sleep because you don't want to return to the horrors.
Senseless brutal murders going on. Bodies everywhere. I knew who the next victim was and I couldn't get to him. Couldn't find him. I was at his house. So was the murderer. So were his children. It all felt so real. I don't understand why my mind would send me pictures like that. It's like I was there. The memories and pictures are still right there in my mind. I can't seem to shake the overall feeling. No one was safe.
I don't have nightmares very often. Perhaps that is what upsets me the most. Still can't shake it. it was so real...
Senseless brutal murders going on. Bodies everywhere. I knew who the next victim was and I couldn't get to him. Couldn't find him. I was at his house. So was the murderer. So were his children. It all felt so real. I don't understand why my mind would send me pictures like that. It's like I was there. The memories and pictures are still right there in my mind. I can't seem to shake the overall feeling. No one was safe.
I don't have nightmares very often. Perhaps that is what upsets me the most. Still can't shake it. it was so real...
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Oh. oops
I'm going through my high school senior yearbook tonight trying to get inspiration for the Senior Year Project since my CD is supposed to be there on Friday and I am a total procrastinator. Here's what I noticed...
That I sang with some pretty condescending people. Not just the one that I have always felt that way about, but several others too. Maybe I am just sensitive in hindsight, but being told by my peers that I've "come a long way this year in choir" sounds a bit like, "you kinda sucked before but not as much now". And it's true, I did grow vocally my last two years of HS, but I will credit that to weekly singing lessons. Had the words been written by one of my close cohorts, I would still be flattered. But these were from the Drama folks that snubbed me all the way through. no wonder I have an aversion to actors.
The other thing I noticed was that I happened accross a picture of a boy that I had a crush on and 10(+) years later I have to say that I agree with my mom. I think he was gay. Actually, I think I heard through the grapevine that he did come out gay. No pun intended. He also turned out to be a crack head. Gay I can accept. Crack head is sad. I'm not saying that every man that isn't interested in me is gay, only that this one probably was. I mean based on the picture. I had forgotten until I started typing that he really is. Shoot. I'm digging myself deep. And no, I don't think there is a gay "look". but I have pretty good gaydar, if occationally delayed when faced with dashing good looks, and he? looked quite on the feminine side. and honestly? not really all that good looking after all.
Speaking of dashing good looks, I listenened to a couple of seconds of Robin Thicke's music and um. It doesn't appear to be to my taste. But he's still good looking.
That I sang with some pretty condescending people. Not just the one that I have always felt that way about, but several others too. Maybe I am just sensitive in hindsight, but being told by my peers that I've "come a long way this year in choir" sounds a bit like, "you kinda sucked before but not as much now". And it's true, I did grow vocally my last two years of HS, but I will credit that to weekly singing lessons. Had the words been written by one of my close cohorts, I would still be flattered. But these were from the Drama folks that snubbed me all the way through. no wonder I have an aversion to actors.
The other thing I noticed was that I happened accross a picture of a boy that I had a crush on and 10(+) years later I have to say that I agree with my mom. I think he was gay. Actually, I think I heard through the grapevine that he did come out gay. No pun intended. He also turned out to be a crack head. Gay I can accept. Crack head is sad. I'm not saying that every man that isn't interested in me is gay, only that this one probably was. I mean based on the picture. I had forgotten until I started typing that he really is. Shoot. I'm digging myself deep. And no, I don't think there is a gay "look". but I have pretty good gaydar, if occationally delayed when faced with dashing good looks, and he? looked quite on the feminine side. and honestly? not really all that good looking after all.
Speaking of dashing good looks, I listenened to a couple of seconds of Robin Thicke's music and um. It doesn't appear to be to my taste. But he's still good looking.
Sign me up
Robin Thicke
Apaprently he's a singer. I shall be very dissapointed if he's not a good one. Cuz, you know, he's a very attractive man. Put him on my list!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Might be an overshare
I don't discuss health issues here, at least not physical heath issues (my mental health being somewhat questionable, especially when attractive men are around) because I am generally in great shape (lack of physcal exercize notwithstanding) However I do occationally suffer from an ailment we have all become quite familiar with due to an uprising in radio comercials called IBS. I manage my symptoms with diet. Mainly, I don't eat potatoes or cabbage. Or cauliflower. Trust me, it's for the best. I miss potatoes. For some reason I can eat french fries. Damnit.
I was recently made aware of a product on the market called Activia. It's supposed to enhance digestive health. Sounds like miracle yogurt to me! Well, i happened to be at my local warehouse store and happened o notice that I can buy it by the case and I thought, "Hey! If one of those a day will make my innards happy then I'll be happy to carry that box around"
I get to the front. Get in line. And the checker...is cute. Looked twice cute. Stared covertly to make sure, cute. (yup. still cute) And I'm thinking, "Not only am I picking up a copy of A Prairie Home Companion, but I'm buying a product that basically has a red flag on it saying I CAN'T er...digest my food in a timely manner" He had to scan it twice. Which means he gave that yogurt more than a glance.
I picked up my chick flick and my new Sinatra CD (points for Sinatra, come on) and went to grab the offending box in order to scurry out and plop. the yogurt containers came dancing right out of the box. I have now been calling attention to myself for far too long. thank GOODNESS the cups were stuck together. They slid right back into the box.
I practically ran out the door.
The question of the day is, Will I ever stop being a freak about these things? I mean, I will never be the kind of woman who announces that I do anything but tinkle, and we all know that I refuse to be held responsible for anything I do in my sleep, especially when I have snuck a bite of coleslaw, so i'm not likely to become open about other body finctions either. I'm not even comfortable buying girly stuff.
On one hand, I can say that at least it wasn't a jumbo box of condoms. on the other, if it were, I'd be getting some, right? But it wasn't. Just live bacteria cultures for me to eat. It wasn't like the time I was buying the ginormous size Seagrums 7 for the desert trip and they had to do a price check. And the checker was waving the bottle around so the whole store could see what a boozer I am. that was ALL I bought that day. At least it wasn't a huge bottle of fiber. That would have been a real red flag.
In my head I am going to pretend that I pretended it was for my mom. Or grandma. The dead one.
I really am derranged.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Honoring
We all choose to honor out ansestors in different ways. Some visit thier graves regularly, some build elaborate alters.
The dissolution of my family has bothered me for many years. It seems as though it began with the passing of my great grandmother and Joe in 1995 (it was disfunctional long before that) and it was definately sped along by the death of my grandmother.
When my father went to jail the first time after her death, I was the one who took him to the courthouse. He called me at work and told me that I was the only one he could trust. It was at that time that he gave me power of attorney so that I could take care of things while he was incarcerated. I was supposed to live in the house, but couldn't. that's a story for another day. As we drove there, I think he believed that he would get off with a warning. The judge was not feeling altogether friendly towards him that day and threw him in. I hope you never have to experience the pain of watching your father led away in handcuffs.
I took the opportunity while he was gone to salvage a few things from the house. He had told me to take them, for safe keeping, although he denys that now. I wish I could have taken more, but I didn't like going there. I grabbed what I could. The rocking chair that belonged to my great great grandmother. The one my sister wants to rock her babies in. My grandmother's wooden clogs, remnants of her childhood living with her father in a Dutch Colony in Iowa. (someone used them as an ashtray) and China. one box and one large bin of china. I wasn't able to take it all. It was the rest of the china that we wanted from the storage unit, along with the antiques. Much of the China was gathered overseas during World War II. Some of it from Occupied Japan. This was my family legacy since Daddy spent all the money and cashed in all the stocks.
When the fires raged through San Diego County in 2003, when I could clearly see the flames and my electricity was out, I packed up my critters, the china, rocker, some clothes and pictures and left. I stayed at C's house in the valley. The heirlooms went where I went that week.
It all stayed in boxes. I moved it several times but never had a place for it. It has always bothered me. I feel as though my grand and great grand parents are unhappy with the way things went. The Ma is turning in her grave and if GG and joe had graves (creamated) they would be turning back flips. They used to make thier presence knowing in the house. They are not unhappy that I had not unpacked the china, it's everthing else.
Today I brought home a china cabinet. I finally found one at the right price. the REALLY right price. I spent the day washing dishes and filling it up. When I was done, I finally felt as if I had done something to honor their memory. I finally felt peace. It is the peace you feel when you know that you have done the right thing. I know it's just stuff. I know that my ansestors are not really spiritually attached to it. I hope that they're drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and talking shit in the afterlife. Something in me says they aren't. But something also tells me that I did something today that makes it a little more right.
there is an undenyable relief in it.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Why did she do that?
A coworker told Officer Yummy that we call him such. We can't figure out why she did that. In the course of the conversation, she learned that there is someone special in OY's life. Which really doesn't change anything in my world because I remain the girl who pours the coffee. But it makes it a little less fun hen he comes in. That whole anticipation and possibility thing. Oh well. NEXT!!
Friday, February 16, 2007
Break it down now
I finally broke down and asked the Magic Pirate Head if I was going to get a return Email fom Interesting Man. The reply?
"No way, ARRGGGH"
I didn't push that line of questioning because if I started asking too many questions, my feelings would get hurt and, well, there is still the possibility that the magic pirate head could be wrong about some things. Amazingly enough though, it made me feel better.
today when I got home from work I asked if he recieved the email, and it said yes. But he may not have read it (it wasn't clear about that). Regardless, I'm going to leave it alone. Let myself be surprised, or not, as the case may be. We will just have to see!
In other somewhat related news, C and I had an interesting discussion on the way to the Airport regarding the way out minds create and control our lives. this idea is often illustrated in my own life by the people I meet when I need to meet them and the seemingly serendypidous way my life often goes. one point rang loud and clear. That to invite success, it is best to feel what success would feel like, not focus on how to get there.
And I realized that love is likely the same way. In order to invite it into my life, I would do well to remember what it feels like to love and be loved. Not in a sexual way, but that happiness and joy of being with someone you really care about, who cares for you in return. So often, I try to remember that and galloping in comes the memory of how lonely it feels to be without it. And the doubt that anyone will come along soon. Therefore, I allow myself to sabotage my chances by overriding the good with the not so good, and I invite more lonliness instead. I'm really going to work on that. Can't hurt right? Who doesn't need an attitude shift once in awhile? And while I didn't realize I might have been undermining my good intentions, I obviously was. I'm also going to stop reminding myself of how much it sucked to be with someone that wasn't right for me. I do that. I thought I was comforting myself in the idea that often we are better off alone than miserable, but it looks like I was hurting myself more.
It feels good to grow a little.
"No way, ARRGGGH"
I didn't push that line of questioning because if I started asking too many questions, my feelings would get hurt and, well, there is still the possibility that the magic pirate head could be wrong about some things. Amazingly enough though, it made me feel better.
today when I got home from work I asked if he recieved the email, and it said yes. But he may not have read it (it wasn't clear about that). Regardless, I'm going to leave it alone. Let myself be surprised, or not, as the case may be. We will just have to see!
In other somewhat related news, C and I had an interesting discussion on the way to the Airport regarding the way out minds create and control our lives. this idea is often illustrated in my own life by the people I meet when I need to meet them and the seemingly serendypidous way my life often goes. one point rang loud and clear. That to invite success, it is best to feel what success would feel like, not focus on how to get there.
And I realized that love is likely the same way. In order to invite it into my life, I would do well to remember what it feels like to love and be loved. Not in a sexual way, but that happiness and joy of being with someone you really care about, who cares for you in return. So often, I try to remember that and galloping in comes the memory of how lonely it feels to be without it. And the doubt that anyone will come along soon. Therefore, I allow myself to sabotage my chances by overriding the good with the not so good, and I invite more lonliness instead. I'm really going to work on that. Can't hurt right? Who doesn't need an attitude shift once in awhile? And while I didn't realize I might have been undermining my good intentions, I obviously was. I'm also going to stop reminding myself of how much it sucked to be with someone that wasn't right for me. I do that. I thought I was comforting myself in the idea that often we are better off alone than miserable, but it looks like I was hurting myself more.
It feels good to grow a little.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Quickie
I'm not going to post for long because i need to do laundry, vacuume, and change my clothes beore 7-ish. Here is the update...
No, Shqipo, sadly Interesting Man has not answered my email. I am telling myself all sorts of things to keep me from going off the deep end because honestly, my ego really is that fragile. Here are the excuses I am giving myself in the order that they tend to pop into my head.
He thought it was spam.
My spam catcher got his reply
He hasn't checked his email
He hasn't had time to craft his reply (a simple yes or no would suffice)
The answer is no and he doesn't want to hurt my feelings
(Mental reminder that T can only write once a week or so and Bean even less. You just never know what is going on in someone's life)
He thinks, due to casual observing, that I have something going with someone else or that perhaps I am making the rounds. (another story)
My crack was hanging out of my jeans and, ick. (my sister said it wasn't, but maybe she just didn't see)
That funny smell in the bathrom was caused by me (it WASN'T. it was totally my brother in law's swim trunks because the spa smelled funny)
I wish I knew how to make bullit points
I curse too much
I teased him about this and that too much (in which case either of those being a deal breaker would mean that he is DEFINATELY too sensitive to spend large amounts of time with me, cuz I only tease you if I like you and am comfortable with you and as long as there are no children present, I think a well timed "Fuck!" is completely appropriate.)
That discussion at dinner about how sometimes when I'm sleeping and I ate potatoes for dinner, and I'm really relaxed...(thanks sis..)To which I replied that I refuse to be held responsible for anything I do in my sleep.
He's turned off by my spinning (which he was asking questions about it so I don't think that is the case)
He's not interested
He's only interested in one thing. My snickerdoodle recipe
I wish I could spell recipe with confidence
He's an asshole.
At which point I remind myself not to be an idiot and to quit obsessing and for goodness sakes get back to work, you have more than plenty to do and use some fricking punctuation already and move along and maybe if you are lucky Officer Yummy will come into the store on Friday night for some eye candy action. And if you are really lucky then Interesting Man will respond positively and if nothing else you will at least have gotten to know him better which would be cool because you think he is interesting. Or if you are slightly less lucky, he will respond with a polite no (because I have really never seen him be anything but polite) and you can quit being a freak for a little while.
I refuse to ask the Magic Pirate Head one way or another. And that is where it is.
No, Shqipo, sadly Interesting Man has not answered my email. I am telling myself all sorts of things to keep me from going off the deep end because honestly, my ego really is that fragile. Here are the excuses I am giving myself in the order that they tend to pop into my head.
He thought it was spam.
My spam catcher got his reply
He hasn't checked his email
He hasn't had time to craft his reply (a simple yes or no would suffice)
The answer is no and he doesn't want to hurt my feelings
(Mental reminder that T can only write once a week or so and Bean even less. You just never know what is going on in someone's life)
He thinks, due to casual observing, that I have something going with someone else or that perhaps I am making the rounds. (another story)
My crack was hanging out of my jeans and, ick. (my sister said it wasn't, but maybe she just didn't see)
That funny smell in the bathrom was caused by me (it WASN'T. it was totally my brother in law's swim trunks because the spa smelled funny)
I wish I knew how to make bullit points
I curse too much
I teased him about this and that too much (in which case either of those being a deal breaker would mean that he is DEFINATELY too sensitive to spend large amounts of time with me, cuz I only tease you if I like you and am comfortable with you and as long as there are no children present, I think a well timed "Fuck!" is completely appropriate.)
That discussion at dinner about how sometimes when I'm sleeping and I ate potatoes for dinner, and I'm really relaxed...(thanks sis..)To which I replied that I refuse to be held responsible for anything I do in my sleep.
He's turned off by my spinning (which he was asking questions about it so I don't think that is the case)
He's not interested
He's only interested in one thing. My snickerdoodle recipe
I wish I could spell recipe with confidence
He's an asshole.
At which point I remind myself not to be an idiot and to quit obsessing and for goodness sakes get back to work, you have more than plenty to do and use some fricking punctuation already and move along and maybe if you are lucky Officer Yummy will come into the store on Friday night for some eye candy action. And if you are really lucky then Interesting Man will respond positively and if nothing else you will at least have gotten to know him better which would be cool because you think he is interesting. Or if you are slightly less lucky, he will respond with a polite no (because I have really never seen him be anything but polite) and you can quit being a freak for a little while.
I refuse to ask the Magic Pirate Head one way or another. And that is where it is.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Remember the scarf?
I finally finished it. C will take it with him on Thursday. If the first one was too short, this one more than makes up for it. It's over 6 feet long! And no the colors are not well represented and yes, i kow it doesn't go with my red flannel shirt, but i t was either that or another bra shot and I am feeling shy today.
Neurosis
Random giant banana plant I found in Old Town. At least I think it's a giant banana. Correct me if I am wrong. It was lovely. The flower? bigger than my head.
No word. As my friends keep reminding me, it's only been two days. I am an impatient individual. However I did manage NOT to even turn on my computer last night, which was good because it would have been a bit of a waste of time. However, I did get some pillows made for my couch, so I was able to channel my energy somewhere else. I also made a batch of soap, read my book, watched movies....Thank goodness I have plans for tonight and tomorrow night. Actually, I will be having a massage after work tomorrow. I'm overdue and my body hurts. Here are the pillows...
Sunday, February 11, 2007
another try at moving on
I remembered as I was driving down the mountain today that it has been 2 years, today, since I met T. I didn't think of him all weekend. I was and am proud of myself.
I still have tough days. I don't talk about them. It's a tired subject. And I, myself don't understand why I hang on so tenaciously.
I sent Interesting Man an email asking him to dinner. I wasn't thinking about what today is. I wasn't thinking that he could be someone who could finally wipe the memories away. I was thinking that I would like to have dinner with this nice man and that if I don't suggest it, it is likely that he never will. I hit the send button before I could talk myself out of it. I have been making myself ill with anxiety ever since. I just checked my email for the third time. Another email came in while I was writing this. I can't decide if I should check now or wait until I am finished with this post. I forwarded the email to the girls so that they would see that I made a move. I know that Wendy was frustrated with me that I hadn't.
It was bulk mail.
When I am done here, I am going to turn off the computer. I won't turn it back on tonight, that is how I am. I will pop in a movie, maybe something inspirational, and go put away my clothes or make something I can be proud of. I have a couple of batches of soap that want to be made. Yarn that wants to be spun and pillows that have waited nearly a year to be covered. I need to vacume. So many things that are so much more productive than checking my email every five minutes only to discover more junk mail or spam. spam mail. not the canned meat. we've been through this.
Deep breath. publish. off.
I still have tough days. I don't talk about them. It's a tired subject. And I, myself don't understand why I hang on so tenaciously.
I sent Interesting Man an email asking him to dinner. I wasn't thinking about what today is. I wasn't thinking that he could be someone who could finally wipe the memories away. I was thinking that I would like to have dinner with this nice man and that if I don't suggest it, it is likely that he never will. I hit the send button before I could talk myself out of it. I have been making myself ill with anxiety ever since. I just checked my email for the third time. Another email came in while I was writing this. I can't decide if I should check now or wait until I am finished with this post. I forwarded the email to the girls so that they would see that I made a move. I know that Wendy was frustrated with me that I hadn't.
It was bulk mail.
When I am done here, I am going to turn off the computer. I won't turn it back on tonight, that is how I am. I will pop in a movie, maybe something inspirational, and go put away my clothes or make something I can be proud of. I have a couple of batches of soap that want to be made. Yarn that wants to be spun and pillows that have waited nearly a year to be covered. I need to vacume. So many things that are so much more productive than checking my email every five minutes only to discover more junk mail or spam. spam mail. not the canned meat. we've been through this.
Deep breath. publish. off.
Return from the "snow"
And by "snow" I mean that there was snow on the ground but only in patches and it did not fall out of the sky.
It was a really great weekend. No drama, really and it was nice to spend time with my sister, as always. Developed a harmless crush on one of the crew. (I met him and liked him a bit last year. I was happy to see that he would be there this year) A good one of the crew, who seems like a nice guy even if he is a bit on the quiet and shy side. Which is kind of bad since I am also on the quiet and shy side. But he likes my cookies, which you know, earns him serious brownie points. Do I think anything will become of it? Of course not. Did I hear my sister invite him to camp with us on easter? damn right I did. She looks out for me. Actually, she gives her full blessing on this one. Wendy was dong her best to help me "hookit up" (if you will) but I got all panicy because I just wasn't comfortable chasing after him. Which, of course, it was pointed out, is the problem. But I think that when the mere suggestion of offering someone the rest of my cookies sends me into a complete panic and makes me want to cry, then I shouldn't do it. They say the you should do something that scares you every day. I think driving in Southern California should cover that, but I don't think they mean that you should do something every day that makes you want to go curl up and hide behind the toilet.
I (re)learned, during the course of the weekend (actually, rather quickly on Friday night) that sometimes a person is nice and interesting on email but they will drive you crazy in person. Saturday, after hours of constant chatter and one sided dialog, I finally went in to go clean the kitchen (yeah. I used CLEANING as an excuse to run away) and was followed. I really tried to be nice, I tried to be interested in the conversations, but if I don't want to sit and chat with someone about yarn, you know I'm not interested in chatting. Plus, at one point, I was trying to watch a movie, and it was the sort you actually have to WATCH and still, the chatter, in my ear. However, a person can only handle so much spam conversation and badgering about how I should eat the meat-like substance (and if I eat pepperoni I should eat spam, it doesn't matter if I don't like it because it's good). One can only argue that she doesn't NEED nor can she AFFORD a herd of Musk Ox in order to have the very valuable fiber to spin and sell and no she cannot just pay someone in Siberia very little to take care of them. And no she doesn't need an alpaca. I lightly snoozed through the conversation with my sister about how if the resident baby cried enough, sis would start lactating because she's a woman and that's how it works (my sister has never given birth). I believe I was holding said baby (who is just darling and slept the whole time) while he told Wendy that she would have, was it 15 children? Wendy isn't sure she wants any. population control, you know. It isn't like me to mostly ignore someone if possible, and it isn't like me to try and leave the room when said person enters, or avoid entering the room all together (especially when interesting fellow is in the room because you know, the only way to get to know someone is to be around them) and I feel really bad because I don't think I was being very nice and it is not like me to treat someone with anything less than courtesy. I tell myself that it's ok because I was running off the to bathroom (but only if I actually had to go) just for a moment of silence. 4000 square feet and I could only find solice in the bathroom.
BUT between the Air Hocky and Street Fighter, the bigscreen and indoor jacuzzi (which smelled terrible but we went in anyway) we had a wonderful time. I lost count of how many times I laughed so hard I cried, not counting the time I was laughing and crying a little from embarassment when I got my bracelet stuck on the hooks of my spinning wheel and couldn't get undone.
yeah. it was a good weekend.
It was a really great weekend. No drama, really and it was nice to spend time with my sister, as always. Developed a harmless crush on one of the crew. (I met him and liked him a bit last year. I was happy to see that he would be there this year) A good one of the crew, who seems like a nice guy even if he is a bit on the quiet and shy side. Which is kind of bad since I am also on the quiet and shy side. But he likes my cookies, which you know, earns him serious brownie points. Do I think anything will become of it? Of course not. Did I hear my sister invite him to camp with us on easter? damn right I did. She looks out for me. Actually, she gives her full blessing on this one. Wendy was dong her best to help me "hookit up" (if you will) but I got all panicy because I just wasn't comfortable chasing after him. Which, of course, it was pointed out, is the problem. But I think that when the mere suggestion of offering someone the rest of my cookies sends me into a complete panic and makes me want to cry, then I shouldn't do it. They say the you should do something that scares you every day. I think driving in Southern California should cover that, but I don't think they mean that you should do something every day that makes you want to go curl up and hide behind the toilet.
I (re)learned, during the course of the weekend (actually, rather quickly on Friday night) that sometimes a person is nice and interesting on email but they will drive you crazy in person. Saturday, after hours of constant chatter and one sided dialog, I finally went in to go clean the kitchen (yeah. I used CLEANING as an excuse to run away) and was followed. I really tried to be nice, I tried to be interested in the conversations, but if I don't want to sit and chat with someone about yarn, you know I'm not interested in chatting. Plus, at one point, I was trying to watch a movie, and it was the sort you actually have to WATCH and still, the chatter, in my ear. However, a person can only handle so much spam conversation and badgering about how I should eat the meat-like substance (and if I eat pepperoni I should eat spam, it doesn't matter if I don't like it because it's good). One can only argue that she doesn't NEED nor can she AFFORD a herd of Musk Ox in order to have the very valuable fiber to spin and sell and no she cannot just pay someone in Siberia very little to take care of them. And no she doesn't need an alpaca. I lightly snoozed through the conversation with my sister about how if the resident baby cried enough, sis would start lactating because she's a woman and that's how it works (my sister has never given birth). I believe I was holding said baby (who is just darling and slept the whole time) while he told Wendy that she would have, was it 15 children? Wendy isn't sure she wants any. population control, you know. It isn't like me to mostly ignore someone if possible, and it isn't like me to try and leave the room when said person enters, or avoid entering the room all together (especially when interesting fellow is in the room because you know, the only way to get to know someone is to be around them) and I feel really bad because I don't think I was being very nice and it is not like me to treat someone with anything less than courtesy. I tell myself that it's ok because I was running off the to bathroom (but only if I actually had to go) just for a moment of silence. 4000 square feet and I could only find solice in the bathroom.
BUT between the Air Hocky and Street Fighter, the bigscreen and indoor jacuzzi (which smelled terrible but we went in anyway) we had a wonderful time. I lost count of how many times I laughed so hard I cried, not counting the time I was laughing and crying a little from embarassment when I got my bracelet stuck on the hooks of my spinning wheel and couldn't get undone.
yeah. it was a good weekend.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Who wants a Beaver?? I do I do!
As many of you well know, the inside of my tower apartment looks, at any given moment, like a heard of sheep has passed thorough leaving wool and yarn in piles behind them. (and old mail. why do those damn sheep keep leaving old mail??) As you also know, I must be part Elf on account of my urge to craft incesscently and my green shoes. Unfortunate for my crafty urges, I am wearing my green shoes right now...
I think I pulled a muscle trying to get my foot up near my face in these rather tight fitting jeans. I suppose I could have taken the shoe off, but it wouldn't have been as much fun. But thank goodness, once again for my wonderous IMac, without which I could not take all these wacky pictures of myself because I rarely have visitors in the tower.
So I'm surfing about on Craftster , as I am wont to do when I should be doing other things, in this case cleaning the bird cage and baking cookies before I wander off to the mountains tomorrow (real mountains, not the foothills that surround me) and I come accross a web link. Crafty Alien
I have to click on it because, well, it's an alien thing and the logo is way cute and the person who runs it said something about kits. Alien Kits? maybe. My sister would love that. Except that I found something far better. Yes indeedy over at Crafty Alien they teach you how to KNIT YOUR OWN FOREST CRITTERS. And they are way cute and totally inexpensive and I NEED a hedgehog one for my sister because they are fertility related and we want her to be fertile so that I can have babies to sew for and it's REALLY cute. (see??)
and I TOTALLY NEED the Beaver because. heh. I want to say that I knit a beaver, you know what I mean? I mean what's funnier than a knit beaver (other than a beaver hat, which Boy Roomie had and we giggled about it very time he wore it but no really, a knit beaver is better) I mean it's totally naughty sounding but WAY cute and innocent at the same time and I would LOVE to tell the boss one fine Monday that over the weekend I knit a beaver. (who wouldn't want this here beaver floating around the house?)
And beyond that I can't decide whether I want the skunk, the fox, the raccoon, bunny or squirrel ("dad-dy, I want a squi-rrel" dang. now I have to go watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I like the old oompa loompas better.) the bunny would be fun to give to Bug Guy because he was out um...pruning the bunnies the other day (if you know what i mean) and one ran into his leg and scared that absolute CRAP out of him. BUT I have always had a soft spot for raccoons, foxes and skunks. especially skunks. they look so SOFT and cuddly. like a cross between a dog and a cat, but stinkier so I wouldn't, you know, try and pet one, unless it was a KNIT skunk in which case it's ok because my knit skunk wouldn't stink.
Now, if she were offering a knit sheep I might just pee myself right here (and have to buy a new office chair because I wouldn't want to sit in this one anymore) because a knit sheep casually placed in front of my door might keep that heard of mail dropping maurauding sheep out of my house and I could wander around in the dark without worrying about getting roving caught between my toes. Or, you know, I could just clean house.
Now, we all know that in addition to being sickningly crafty, messy, and drop dead gorgeous (I made that last one up) I am very excitable. and when I find something I like, I can't get enough of it which, this time is NOT a new man crush but a blogger crush because TA DA!! she gots a blog and it made me smile so I'm a-linking to it too right here:
Crafty Alien Blog even though she hasn't updated in awhile because it's got pictures of her stuff and well, I need those magnets too. you know so I can...Um. maybe I don't NEED the magnets. but you do, so buy some already.
I might buy some stuff later. Likely when I have money again. But look out because you never know when I might knit YOU a beaver.
I think I pulled a muscle trying to get my foot up near my face in these rather tight fitting jeans. I suppose I could have taken the shoe off, but it wouldn't have been as much fun. But thank goodness, once again for my wonderous IMac, without which I could not take all these wacky pictures of myself because I rarely have visitors in the tower.
So I'm surfing about on Craftster , as I am wont to do when I should be doing other things, in this case cleaning the bird cage and baking cookies before I wander off to the mountains tomorrow (real mountains, not the foothills that surround me) and I come accross a web link. Crafty Alien
I have to click on it because, well, it's an alien thing and the logo is way cute and the person who runs it said something about kits. Alien Kits? maybe. My sister would love that. Except that I found something far better. Yes indeedy over at Crafty Alien they teach you how to KNIT YOUR OWN FOREST CRITTERS. And they are way cute and totally inexpensive and I NEED a hedgehog one for my sister because they are fertility related and we want her to be fertile so that I can have babies to sew for and it's REALLY cute. (see??)
and I TOTALLY NEED the Beaver because. heh. I want to say that I knit a beaver, you know what I mean? I mean what's funnier than a knit beaver (other than a beaver hat, which Boy Roomie had and we giggled about it very time he wore it but no really, a knit beaver is better) I mean it's totally naughty sounding but WAY cute and innocent at the same time and I would LOVE to tell the boss one fine Monday that over the weekend I knit a beaver. (who wouldn't want this here beaver floating around the house?)
And beyond that I can't decide whether I want the skunk, the fox, the raccoon, bunny or squirrel ("dad-dy, I want a squi-rrel" dang. now I have to go watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I like the old oompa loompas better.) the bunny would be fun to give to Bug Guy because he was out um...pruning the bunnies the other day (if you know what i mean) and one ran into his leg and scared that absolute CRAP out of him. BUT I have always had a soft spot for raccoons, foxes and skunks. especially skunks. they look so SOFT and cuddly. like a cross between a dog and a cat, but stinkier so I wouldn't, you know, try and pet one, unless it was a KNIT skunk in which case it's ok because my knit skunk wouldn't stink.
Now, if she were offering a knit sheep I might just pee myself right here (and have to buy a new office chair because I wouldn't want to sit in this one anymore) because a knit sheep casually placed in front of my door might keep that heard of mail dropping maurauding sheep out of my house and I could wander around in the dark without worrying about getting roving caught between my toes. Or, you know, I could just clean house.
Now, we all know that in addition to being sickningly crafty, messy, and drop dead gorgeous (I made that last one up) I am very excitable. and when I find something I like, I can't get enough of it which, this time is NOT a new man crush but a blogger crush because TA DA!! she gots a blog and it made me smile so I'm a-linking to it too right here:
Crafty Alien Blog even though she hasn't updated in awhile because it's got pictures of her stuff and well, I need those magnets too. you know so I can...Um. maybe I don't NEED the magnets. but you do, so buy some already.
I might buy some stuff later. Likely when I have money again. But look out because you never know when I might knit YOU a beaver.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
God's Underwear
It occurred to me the other day that religion is like underwear.
Now, before you run me out on a line for being blasphemous, (yeah, I know, if you haven't by now...) hear me out. You have your typical Fundies. um. Fundimentalist Christians. I'm going to group the Muslims in here too, not because I think the faiths are alike, but, because they are often alike in their fervor. Now, I'm not talking about quiet faithful. I'm talking about the loud, in your face, suicide bombing, Bible thumping kind. the ones that approach you on the street corner and ask if you are saved. Their underwear would have to be the traditional Union Suit. Full on long johns with a butt flap and everything. These guys gotta show God and everybody how faithful they are. They have to make sure they are covered. completely covered, even though their underwear might be their only wear.
Middle Christians and Catholics? Regular faithful but not extreme Muslims? The ones who will tell you about God, but won't shove it in your face. Who go to church every Sunday and truly believe. I put the Hindu in here too. Those guys? they're wearing granny panties. (ok, briefs if you must insist that you don't wear panties) They don't mind if you see thier underwear, even if that means it's hanging out the top of thier pants...
Then there are those who believe but don't need a meeting. They worship quietly. Buhddist. Wicca (some. Some belong in granny panties). Christmas Catholics. Easter Christians. Bikinis. sometimes string, sometimes low rise. They like to know their ass is covered, but they don't like the complete cover of the brief, they definately have panty lines though.
Agnostic? Thong. totally. Ass might not be covered, but the naughty bits are.
Athiest? Commando. They don't need cover, there's no one checking!
Maybe I DO need to get back to working during the week...
Monday, February 05, 2007
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Number 3? Get a life!
I am so glad that I am not supid. This just arrIved in my inbox...
"kind customer we inform it that for emergency issues it must renter its personal data and change password. It can make it at this address http://www.xsshare.com/forum//includes/paypal/ sincerely yours the direction paypal"
I guess I am an "it". I am so glad "The Direction Paypal" told me so. Otherwise, I might have remained ignorant. I had better rush over to the website so that I can change my user name and password and hopefully my bank account will be empty by the time I am off work this evening. Sheesh.
Speaking of which, I need to go. See? I do have a life. Sort of...wait...crap.
"kind customer we inform it that for emergency issues it must renter its personal data and change password. It can make it at this address http://www.xsshare.com/forum//includes/paypal/ sincerely yours the direction paypal"
I guess I am an "it". I am so glad "The Direction Paypal" told me so. Otherwise, I might have remained ignorant. I had better rush over to the website so that I can change my user name and password and hopefully my bank account will be empty by the time I am off work this evening. Sheesh.
Speaking of which, I need to go. See? I do have a life. Sort of...wait...crap.
Two posts on a Saturday?
I was just invited via MySpace message, to go out for caramels. I offered the politest rejection of the invitation I could come up with. I just don't want to go there again. I have found nothing but trouble meeting guys on the internet and I do not wish to try again. It's just not the right way for me.
Plus, I still do not wish to date. The guy would have to be something spectacular. I would rather be alone than to waste any more kisses on toads who could be princes. I did not tell this to the fellow, although I did mention that I am not interesteed in meeting anyone from the internet anymore (except of course, for those of you who I have befriended over years of correspondence. and even then, it's not a romantic thing. Not even a possibly romantic thing)
So I was honest if not a bit harsh. Recognizing that I could be missing out on friendship, but really preferring to meet my friends face to face. I get a better "feel" for them that way. I thought better to be honest now rather than to risk hurt feelings (his or mine) later.
Plus, I still do not wish to date. The guy would have to be something spectacular. I would rather be alone than to waste any more kisses on toads who could be princes. I did not tell this to the fellow, although I did mention that I am not interesteed in meeting anyone from the internet anymore (except of course, for those of you who I have befriended over years of correspondence. and even then, it's not a romantic thing. Not even a possibly romantic thing)
So I was honest if not a bit harsh. Recognizing that I could be missing out on friendship, but really preferring to meet my friends face to face. I get a better "feel" for them that way. I thought better to be honest now rather than to risk hurt feelings (his or mine) later.
Ponders
I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am in life, where I want to be, and where I have been. I realized today (not that I hadn't thought about it before, but it really hit me today) that I have been living in my current tower for a little over a year now. And that is the longest I have lived anywhere in the last three years. I have always considered myself the kind of person in need of a home. And I have tended to make a home for myself anywhere I was with the exception of living in Ramona, CA. It was never home for me.
As a child, we moved every three years, almost like clockwork. At the time, I didn't understand that my parents were doing their best to better the situation and moving was part of that process. Buying a house, then selling and moving to something bigger. When we packed up and left the Ramona house, life was uncertain and a bright future lay ahead. I felt the same way when I moved out of my mom's house 2 years ago this month. I think about where I was then.
Dating E, I had not yet met T. Meeting T changed my life. I was getting ready to move to the Lakeside house. I thought I would live there for a long time. Maybe even buy it someday. Moving into my tower was never on the adjenda, I don't even like apartments. But funny, I am happy here. I would still like to own somewhere. I am still working to that end, but messy as it is, I am comfortable here and do not see another move in my future. Not yet, anyway.
I have felt this way before though, in those gloriously happy months I lived with C. Even though we didn't plan to stay in that house, I did the best I could to make it my home, and I looked forward to investing in the next one together. In the next home, I could have more say in the decor because it would be mine too. I would be an equal owner.
that was not to be the life for me, despite what I thought, and I look back over the last three years and see how I have grown. I see the good decisions and the bad. But life has turned out good. Not at all the way I expected, but good. I have my business and my yarn, I have a set plan for becoming debt free, even though personal time has taken precident. I have my health, I have my family. I miss personal interactions. Some days are worse than others, but I think of how I made mistakes where men are concerened and I know that I am right in staying single. Not that there is anyone real on the horizon. Crushes don't really count when they don't even know your name.
I never thought, three years ago that I would be where I am today. That I would have moved three times and still manage to fill a two bedroom apartment. Three times three. A magic number. funny, I didn't realize that until now. Perhaps something interesting is about to happen after all.
Another thing that is causing ponders in my world is the abundance of babies that have popped into my world this month. I spent Wendesday evening with John, who's mother has been my friend for over half my life. Tomorrow, Beth, who's father has also been my friend for more than half my life. These are the friends that I think will be in my world forever, no matter how far they are, no matter how bad I am about writing or calling. I tell myself that their life isn't what I am supposed to be having right now, but I wonder if I ever will. And it hurts a little. Then I remind myself that there are likely things they envy about me too, and I realize that it's healthy to want what other people have, as long as it's just a little bit and you still appriciate your own good fortune. I could have compromised a long time ago. Settled down with D, even though doing so would have ended his dreams and made me crazy. Looked the other way when C was doing what he did, except that I am so proud of myself for having the courage to stand up and say it was wrong. I could have told T I wanted babies just to keep him. I don't know that it would have worked. And had I had his children, and not faced my issues the way I did, I would have resented them all. That is no way to live. No way to love.
Something tells me that had I settled, life would have gone crazy anyway. It just would have happened later. And I would have ended up right where I am. Spinning yarns in my tower. Likely without the bird and the big screen TV to keep me company. No, whether it was intentional or not, I chose a different life than that of my peers. And I need to remember that.
As a child, we moved every three years, almost like clockwork. At the time, I didn't understand that my parents were doing their best to better the situation and moving was part of that process. Buying a house, then selling and moving to something bigger. When we packed up and left the Ramona house, life was uncertain and a bright future lay ahead. I felt the same way when I moved out of my mom's house 2 years ago this month. I think about where I was then.
Dating E, I had not yet met T. Meeting T changed my life. I was getting ready to move to the Lakeside house. I thought I would live there for a long time. Maybe even buy it someday. Moving into my tower was never on the adjenda, I don't even like apartments. But funny, I am happy here. I would still like to own somewhere. I am still working to that end, but messy as it is, I am comfortable here and do not see another move in my future. Not yet, anyway.
I have felt this way before though, in those gloriously happy months I lived with C. Even though we didn't plan to stay in that house, I did the best I could to make it my home, and I looked forward to investing in the next one together. In the next home, I could have more say in the decor because it would be mine too. I would be an equal owner.
that was not to be the life for me, despite what I thought, and I look back over the last three years and see how I have grown. I see the good decisions and the bad. But life has turned out good. Not at all the way I expected, but good. I have my business and my yarn, I have a set plan for becoming debt free, even though personal time has taken precident. I have my health, I have my family. I miss personal interactions. Some days are worse than others, but I think of how I made mistakes where men are concerened and I know that I am right in staying single. Not that there is anyone real on the horizon. Crushes don't really count when they don't even know your name.
I never thought, three years ago that I would be where I am today. That I would have moved three times and still manage to fill a two bedroom apartment. Three times three. A magic number. funny, I didn't realize that until now. Perhaps something interesting is about to happen after all.
Another thing that is causing ponders in my world is the abundance of babies that have popped into my world this month. I spent Wendesday evening with John, who's mother has been my friend for over half my life. Tomorrow, Beth, who's father has also been my friend for more than half my life. These are the friends that I think will be in my world forever, no matter how far they are, no matter how bad I am about writing or calling. I tell myself that their life isn't what I am supposed to be having right now, but I wonder if I ever will. And it hurts a little. Then I remind myself that there are likely things they envy about me too, and I realize that it's healthy to want what other people have, as long as it's just a little bit and you still appriciate your own good fortune. I could have compromised a long time ago. Settled down with D, even though doing so would have ended his dreams and made me crazy. Looked the other way when C was doing what he did, except that I am so proud of myself for having the courage to stand up and say it was wrong. I could have told T I wanted babies just to keep him. I don't know that it would have worked. And had I had his children, and not faced my issues the way I did, I would have resented them all. That is no way to live. No way to love.
Something tells me that had I settled, life would have gone crazy anyway. It just would have happened later. And I would have ended up right where I am. Spinning yarns in my tower. Likely without the bird and the big screen TV to keep me company. No, whether it was intentional or not, I chose a different life than that of my peers. And I need to remember that.
Monday, January 29, 2007
I still got it
It might have been ten years since I last made it, but I just put away a damn good tuna casserole. And by put away, I mean that I ate more than plenty and there is still several meals worth inthe fridge.
In other matters, an old friend of mine got married, so I discovered via myspace. He's one of the ones that i "lost" due to my aversion to Pot. It makes me sad. We've known each other since we were 15. And because I said he couldn't smoke it at y house, we are no longer speaking. In his defense, ther was only one person I know (other than his wife) in the pictures I saw, and that would be the other friend I lost due to my aversion to Pot. Those who say it's no big deal, those who say it's harmless have never said goodbye after half a lifetime of friendship. Have never watched as friends choose the drug over good steady well paying jobs that would support their growing families. This friend's new wife told me once that she would only change one thing about him. His dependance on pot. But since he is unbearbly grumpy without it, she lives with it. And that makes me sad. But it is the life she has chosen. I hope that I never compromise that for myself.
I sent her a message, congratulating her on her nuptuals and incomming child. I have not heard from her. That also makes me sad.
In other, other news, new crush out of the coffee shop. We shall call him either Officer Yummy, or Officer Hottypants (thanks joolie jootastic!) depending on my mood. There won't be very many stories as he is an officer of the law and cannot often come in during duty. But he's nice to look at, has a good job, and, is highly unlikely to be indulging in anything illegal during his off time. Nothing like a new crush to lift the spirits and help me look forward to long nights at the coffee shop!
In other matters, an old friend of mine got married, so I discovered via myspace. He's one of the ones that i "lost" due to my aversion to Pot. It makes me sad. We've known each other since we were 15. And because I said he couldn't smoke it at y house, we are no longer speaking. In his defense, ther was only one person I know (other than his wife) in the pictures I saw, and that would be the other friend I lost due to my aversion to Pot. Those who say it's no big deal, those who say it's harmless have never said goodbye after half a lifetime of friendship. Have never watched as friends choose the drug over good steady well paying jobs that would support their growing families. This friend's new wife told me once that she would only change one thing about him. His dependance on pot. But since he is unbearbly grumpy without it, she lives with it. And that makes me sad. But it is the life she has chosen. I hope that I never compromise that for myself.
I sent her a message, congratulating her on her nuptuals and incomming child. I have not heard from her. That also makes me sad.
In other, other news, new crush out of the coffee shop. We shall call him either Officer Yummy, or Officer Hottypants (thanks joolie jootastic!) depending on my mood. There won't be very many stories as he is an officer of the law and cannot often come in during duty. But he's nice to look at, has a good job, and, is highly unlikely to be indulging in anything illegal during his off time. Nothing like a new crush to lift the spirits and help me look forward to long nights at the coffee shop!
Sunday, January 28, 2007
eek!!
I hope that works...
Here are the rules…
1. Pick a senior year.
2. Comment here or email me (paintingchef at gmail dot com) and let me know you’d like to participate. This is going to be a CD swapping situation…
3. Choose your songs (they don’t strictly have to be from that year only, just something that you listened to that year), burn an as yet to be determined number of copies.
4. Send them, along with the address where you would like your set of CDs sent, to me.
5. I will make everyone a set of CDs and send them back out. If you’re really sweet you can send me a few bucks to go towards postage… I tend to send sweet people cookies and puppies and rainbows and unicorns.
6. Put this little graphic on your blog if you want. But save it and post it your damn self. Don’t link to it here. That’s just mean. And mean people suck. So don’t suck.
I love that my computer lets me drag stuff from place to place. I'll be participating, how about you?
In other news, I was reading over at RichIChampionable and Bonanza Jellybean, and I realized, once again, just how hard it must be to be a parent. To have this creature that you are totally responsible for. Not just like a fish where you just have to feed it, but you have to nurture them, mind, body, and soul in order to make sure they grow up to be the wonderful members of society that we all want them to be. And not only that. but you have to worry about the influence of other people. Your immature friends teaching them dirty words at a young age. Teachers tearing them down when they try so hard. Kind old ladies telling you how you should raise them. This on top of the peer pressures and society pressures that we all have to be the smartest, the prettiest, the best at whatever they do. And heaven forbid they do something uncool. I? Loved me some astonomy and classical music when I was in elementry school. Hell if I shared that with the class. As they grow, they have to have the right clothes, the right friends, the right hobbies and bedroom decor. You want them to grow up to be who you want them to be, but they want to be themselves. What if those visions don't match? Your future lead guitarist wants to be a rocket scientist and is tone deaf.
Everything has to be perfect. And it's all up to you. That's a lot of pressure. It's a scary thing. You CAN'T fuck up because there's no do-overs, no mulligans. Then they turn 15 and realize they are smarter than you and they hate you. they are dissapointed when they learn the hard truth that you are human and no matter what you do, it isn't right. And they break your heart with every slam of the perfectly decorated bedroom door, which suddeny not so perfect in classy blues and whites, they want it black.
I don't think there is a perfect parent. Maybe it's easy for me to say. It wasnt a shock to me, it was a cold hard truth that my parents were human. The difficult part was forgiving them for being just that.
No, I don't think there is any such thing as a "perfect parent". I think there are only the ones who do the best that they can with the tools that they have. No kid should ask for more. I read these blogs, of people who's parenting I respect based on what they write, and I think to myself that I can only hope that I step up to bat as they have done, should I ever find myself with a child under my care. It frightens me that not only can I screw up the most important job I can ever be given, but that everyone will be watching. Waiting. judging, even if they don't intend to.
Tall order, parenting. No wonder if fightens me so.
In other news, I just bought two magick pirate heads on Ebay. I will have to decide next what to do with them.
Here are the rules…
1. Pick a senior year.
2. Comment here or email me (paintingchef at gmail dot com) and let me know you’d like to participate. This is going to be a CD swapping situation…
3. Choose your songs (they don’t strictly have to be from that year only, just something that you listened to that year), burn an as yet to be determined number of copies.
4. Send them, along with the address where you would like your set of CDs sent, to me.
5. I will make everyone a set of CDs and send them back out. If you’re really sweet you can send me a few bucks to go towards postage… I tend to send sweet people cookies and puppies and rainbows and unicorns.
6. Put this little graphic on your blog if you want. But save it and post it your damn self. Don’t link to it here. That’s just mean. And mean people suck. So don’t suck.
I love that my computer lets me drag stuff from place to place. I'll be participating, how about you?
In other news, I was reading over at RichIChampionable and Bonanza Jellybean, and I realized, once again, just how hard it must be to be a parent. To have this creature that you are totally responsible for. Not just like a fish where you just have to feed it, but you have to nurture them, mind, body, and soul in order to make sure they grow up to be the wonderful members of society that we all want them to be. And not only that. but you have to worry about the influence of other people. Your immature friends teaching them dirty words at a young age. Teachers tearing them down when they try so hard. Kind old ladies telling you how you should raise them. This on top of the peer pressures and society pressures that we all have to be the smartest, the prettiest, the best at whatever they do. And heaven forbid they do something uncool. I? Loved me some astonomy and classical music when I was in elementry school. Hell if I shared that with the class. As they grow, they have to have the right clothes, the right friends, the right hobbies and bedroom decor. You want them to grow up to be who you want them to be, but they want to be themselves. What if those visions don't match? Your future lead guitarist wants to be a rocket scientist and is tone deaf.
Everything has to be perfect. And it's all up to you. That's a lot of pressure. It's a scary thing. You CAN'T fuck up because there's no do-overs, no mulligans. Then they turn 15 and realize they are smarter than you and they hate you. they are dissapointed when they learn the hard truth that you are human and no matter what you do, it isn't right. And they break your heart with every slam of the perfectly decorated bedroom door, which suddeny not so perfect in classy blues and whites, they want it black.
I don't think there is a perfect parent. Maybe it's easy for me to say. It wasnt a shock to me, it was a cold hard truth that my parents were human. The difficult part was forgiving them for being just that.
No, I don't think there is any such thing as a "perfect parent". I think there are only the ones who do the best that they can with the tools that they have. No kid should ask for more. I read these blogs, of people who's parenting I respect based on what they write, and I think to myself that I can only hope that I step up to bat as they have done, should I ever find myself with a child under my care. It frightens me that not only can I screw up the most important job I can ever be given, but that everyone will be watching. Waiting. judging, even if they don't intend to.
Tall order, parenting. No wonder if fightens me so.
In other news, I just bought two magick pirate heads on Ebay. I will have to decide next what to do with them.
The return of Handsome Richard and other stories
First, other stories...
Attended the Birthday Celebration of my very good friend Dat Phan today. since some of you migrated over here from conversations we used to have on his message board, then if you go to his site, it is possible that there might be a group shot with me in it. I would be all the way back near the window. I will be happy if my forrehead made it into the picture.
Anyway, it was a nice luncheon, but there was one thing that bothered me.
Set at a rather busy beach restaurant, we arrived to find two large tables filled with guests. At each place setting, there was a shortened version of the menu with a selection of dishes to choose from. No prices. I didn't see anything I wanted to eat (I am a picky eater, and California Cusine generally means fancy stuff I don't want to put in my mouth. Sun dried tomatoes and seared ahi (seared=cooked on the outside raw on the inside. I don't eat raw fish.)) so I requested a menu. The prices were on the menu and looked very reasonable, so I ordered the fish and chips (I really wanted a steak and some mashed potatoes even though I shouldn't eat them) and a fancy schmancy root beer because I am a sucker for a micro brew root beer.
Munch munch, guzzle guzzle, lunch is done. Come to find out, the restraunt is charging $14 plate, double the menu prices. And Gratuity. And the food? mediochre. I don't think I would eat there again. I am hardly an expert on fish, but I was not impressed. and the Root Beer? I like Henry Weinhardts much better. But I'm glad I tried it, even if the restraunt pissed me off. Thier reasoning was that they had to pay two waitresses to cover just out tables. There were 50 people atteneding, at $14 per person. that's $700. And another $140 for tip. Somehow I think those waitresses would have worked for tips alone in a group that big. I don't know much about waiting tables, but I'm thinking you don't often make $70 in three hours normally.
All in all it was good to see Dat, briefly, and my sister too. It would be nice to be able to speak with him in a less hectic environment, but this is his liife now.
Thursday, and I know I didn't mention it, Handsome Richard contacted me to see if i wanted to go with a bunch of people to The Comedy Store. I agreed and it was arranged. I must admit i was a bit apprehensive because I know i do not want to date him despite his good looks and kind demeanor, because I didn't really know if it was a "date". i drove myself and paid my own cover ($20 bucks! I had never paid to get in before! Sheesh!). There were 3 other people attending, I don't think it was. So anyway, night goes on, we decide to go to a restraunt/bar for more fun and drinks. Tra la la, blah blah blah. and Stacy blurts out, "Richie's so busy having sex with babymama that..." Damage done. She realized what she said, and I cannot hide that I caught it because I am BEET red and looking desperatey for a spot on the wall to study. He ended up leaing fairly early as the Baby sitter was leaving at midnight. Which reminded me once again that he has a kid, and a sister who needs constant care, and babymama drama and I know that while we don't always get to choose the life we have, but truly, I don't think I would choose to have his. I have enough to worry about keeping up with myself.
Attended the Birthday Celebration of my very good friend Dat Phan today. since some of you migrated over here from conversations we used to have on his message board, then if you go to his site, it is possible that there might be a group shot with me in it. I would be all the way back near the window. I will be happy if my forrehead made it into the picture.
Anyway, it was a nice luncheon, but there was one thing that bothered me.
Set at a rather busy beach restaurant, we arrived to find two large tables filled with guests. At each place setting, there was a shortened version of the menu with a selection of dishes to choose from. No prices. I didn't see anything I wanted to eat (I am a picky eater, and California Cusine generally means fancy stuff I don't want to put in my mouth. Sun dried tomatoes and seared ahi (seared=cooked on the outside raw on the inside. I don't eat raw fish.)) so I requested a menu. The prices were on the menu and looked very reasonable, so I ordered the fish and chips (I really wanted a steak and some mashed potatoes even though I shouldn't eat them) and a fancy schmancy root beer because I am a sucker for a micro brew root beer.
Munch munch, guzzle guzzle, lunch is done. Come to find out, the restraunt is charging $14 plate, double the menu prices. And Gratuity. And the food? mediochre. I don't think I would eat there again. I am hardly an expert on fish, but I was not impressed. and the Root Beer? I like Henry Weinhardts much better. But I'm glad I tried it, even if the restraunt pissed me off. Thier reasoning was that they had to pay two waitresses to cover just out tables. There were 50 people atteneding, at $14 per person. that's $700. And another $140 for tip. Somehow I think those waitresses would have worked for tips alone in a group that big. I don't know much about waiting tables, but I'm thinking you don't often make $70 in three hours normally.
All in all it was good to see Dat, briefly, and my sister too. It would be nice to be able to speak with him in a less hectic environment, but this is his liife now.
Thursday, and I know I didn't mention it, Handsome Richard contacted me to see if i wanted to go with a bunch of people to The Comedy Store. I agreed and it was arranged. I must admit i was a bit apprehensive because I know i do not want to date him despite his good looks and kind demeanor, because I didn't really know if it was a "date". i drove myself and paid my own cover ($20 bucks! I had never paid to get in before! Sheesh!). There were 3 other people attending, I don't think it was. So anyway, night goes on, we decide to go to a restraunt/bar for more fun and drinks. Tra la la, blah blah blah. and Stacy blurts out, "Richie's so busy having sex with babymama that..." Damage done. She realized what she said, and I cannot hide that I caught it because I am BEET red and looking desperatey for a spot on the wall to study. He ended up leaing fairly early as the Baby sitter was leaving at midnight. Which reminded me once again that he has a kid, and a sister who needs constant care, and babymama drama and I know that while we don't always get to choose the life we have, but truly, I don't think I would choose to have his. I have enough to worry about keeping up with myself.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Of Pirates and worms
My friend Eddie sent me this. This time, I KNOW I heard a can of worms being opened...For her or against her, This may not have been the best of ideas. I think the people in charge are going to be awfully busy sifing through the replies...
http://www.hillaryclinton.com/action/firstpost/?sc=x101
In other news, I found this on someone's blog yesterday. I'd tell you whos, but I can't remember. All I know is that I linked from Mist1, because I figure if I go to every person on her list, I might be able to figure out which one is her sister.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007030500,00.html
Um. They look kind of bulky and uncomfortable.
Wayne came in last night all concerned that I was offended by their use of the stinky weed. I told him it doesn't offend me, I just don't care to associate with it. That doesn't mean I can't hang out and be friends, I will just be skipping the pot parties. Since CC came in too, I was reminded that he is cute and interesting and that I MUST stick to my principles. Without principles, what do I have? What kind of person would I be if I made exception for the first handsome face that tested them?
Wayne also said he had a friend he wants to introduce me to. Someone my age and "strait" as in doesn't do anything he isn't supposed to do. Which sounds terribly dull to me, but, Wayne thinks of me that way so it's obvious he sees what he wants to see and makes his opinions. I mean, I know I'm a bit on the goody-two-shoes side of things but I also know how to have a good time.
SO ANYWAY, I decided that this called for a visit to my favorite Oracle. When I got home, I went strait to the Magic Pirate Head and asked if I would be interested in said friend. It said I would. So I asked if we would date. and the answer was, "Yo Ho, Maybe So!" I left it alone after that. Interesting. Since it said I won't be meeting the next man I will date this week, I don't have anything to be worried about.
I'm starting to become frightened of my reliance on the advice of the Magic Pirate Head. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop, It just means that I might have a problem.
I might have another problem too. Last night I wandered into the bathroom at work because I had business in there. Do you know what I found? Wool. Tucked into the waistband of my underwear. Sheep's wool. No a lot, but enough to tell me that I spend way too much time playing with wool in my house and not enogh time watching TV and drinking beer.
Ok. I don't drink beer. and I spin while I watch TV. But that's not the point. I mean, when I worked in the cabinet shop, I understood how I got sawdust in my bra and I kind of understood how I would end up with sawdust in my underwear. But wool. Wool doesn't go there. What the fuck?
GASP! I realized that I miss my own bloggerversary. It's been two years since I started spewing madness into the world wide web. Here is my very first post...
http://ginamonster.blogspot.com/2005/01/where-to-begin.html
And once from a year ago...
http://ginamonster.blogspot.com/2006/01/things-that-are-difficult-to-say.html
http://ginamonster.blogspot.com/2006/01/applause-from-mens-section.html
apparently we had a two-fer last Jan 24.
Best wishes to you all. I'm off to ponder life.
http://www.hillaryclinton.com/action/firstpost/?sc=x101
In other news, I found this on someone's blog yesterday. I'd tell you whos, but I can't remember. All I know is that I linked from Mist1, because I figure if I go to every person on her list, I might be able to figure out which one is her sister.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007030500,00.html
Um. They look kind of bulky and uncomfortable.
Wayne came in last night all concerned that I was offended by their use of the stinky weed. I told him it doesn't offend me, I just don't care to associate with it. That doesn't mean I can't hang out and be friends, I will just be skipping the pot parties. Since CC came in too, I was reminded that he is cute and interesting and that I MUST stick to my principles. Without principles, what do I have? What kind of person would I be if I made exception for the first handsome face that tested them?
Wayne also said he had a friend he wants to introduce me to. Someone my age and "strait" as in doesn't do anything he isn't supposed to do. Which sounds terribly dull to me, but, Wayne thinks of me that way so it's obvious he sees what he wants to see and makes his opinions. I mean, I know I'm a bit on the goody-two-shoes side of things but I also know how to have a good time.
SO ANYWAY, I decided that this called for a visit to my favorite Oracle. When I got home, I went strait to the Magic Pirate Head and asked if I would be interested in said friend. It said I would. So I asked if we would date. and the answer was, "Yo Ho, Maybe So!" I left it alone after that. Interesting. Since it said I won't be meeting the next man I will date this week, I don't have anything to be worried about.
I'm starting to become frightened of my reliance on the advice of the Magic Pirate Head. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop, It just means that I might have a problem.
I might have another problem too. Last night I wandered into the bathroom at work because I had business in there. Do you know what I found? Wool. Tucked into the waistband of my underwear. Sheep's wool. No a lot, but enough to tell me that I spend way too much time playing with wool in my house and not enogh time watching TV and drinking beer.
Ok. I don't drink beer. and I spin while I watch TV. But that's not the point. I mean, when I worked in the cabinet shop, I understood how I got sawdust in my bra and I kind of understood how I would end up with sawdust in my underwear. But wool. Wool doesn't go there. What the fuck?
GASP! I realized that I miss my own bloggerversary. It's been two years since I started spewing madness into the world wide web. Here is my very first post...
http://ginamonster.blogspot.com/2005/01/where-to-begin.html
And once from a year ago...
http://ginamonster.blogspot.com/2006/01/things-that-are-difficult-to-say.html
http://ginamonster.blogspot.com/2006/01/applause-from-mens-section.html
apparently we had a two-fer last Jan 24.
Best wishes to you all. I'm off to ponder life.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Adventures in underwear shopping
I can't remember if I mentioned it but I FINALLY bought myself some new bras last month. Truly, the old ones were making the PDC's look particualrly unperky, and the straps kept falling off my shoulders.
Now, the bigger they are, the more pricey they are so at $50 each (I always buy at least 4 at a time) they better fit well and make me look fantastick-er. (heh). in a chesterly way. Sadly, 2 didn't fit after I brought them home and tried to wear them.
Meanwhile, that same night, bolstered by the undergarment extravaganza at the Pink Store, I was off to another store to buy my favorite undies which are SO comfortable. Underwear, like bras, have to fit just right or I am uncomfortable all day and I get cranky. Plus, ill fitting ones chafe. Can't have chafing in my girly bits. I bought the wrong size, or so I discovered when I compared them to the ones I already had (I couldn't remember what size I wore. I don't splurge on panties like I used to).
Today, I finally took them back. First, the underwear. Sadly, they had gone on clearance and were all gone. When I asked for a refund, the clerk suggested that perhaps I might be able to find something cuter. Never insult a woman's taste in panties unless they are the granny variety (in which case a 30 year old woman in granny panties is indeed fair game). These most certainly were not. I was appalled that she would sugest that something cuter would be more appropriate. Sure, cute is just fine. I am not opposed to bright colors and patterns. Goodness knows I have wandered about with an animal print butt. However, for every day wear I prefer something more subdued. Less likely to show through my clothes in color and seams. It's not like anyone sees them anyway, so they should be making ME happy and decidedly not chaf-ey). I kept my grumbling to myself and wandered on my way.
And off to Vickies where a sales lady decended upon me instantly. When I mentioned that the bras I bought were too big, she instantly pulled out her tape measure and offered to feel me up...I mean measure me. I told her that I had been measured last time, but if she really wanted to touch my boobs right there in front of everybody, she could. Ok. I was THINKING most of that. So first she said I have a small frame. (!!!OOH!!! Tell me more!!) The she measures down, around, and up, and says, you couls be a...34 DD ("sister size"). And while that only means that I am the size I thought I was, I am telling myself that my measurements are both bigger and smaller than I thought they were. and in a good way. I think I glowed. For once, I left the mall feeling good about myself despite the panty insult.
Now, the bigger they are, the more pricey they are so at $50 each (I always buy at least 4 at a time) they better fit well and make me look fantastick-er. (heh). in a chesterly way. Sadly, 2 didn't fit after I brought them home and tried to wear them.
Meanwhile, that same night, bolstered by the undergarment extravaganza at the Pink Store, I was off to another store to buy my favorite undies which are SO comfortable. Underwear, like bras, have to fit just right or I am uncomfortable all day and I get cranky. Plus, ill fitting ones chafe. Can't have chafing in my girly bits. I bought the wrong size, or so I discovered when I compared them to the ones I already had (I couldn't remember what size I wore. I don't splurge on panties like I used to).
Today, I finally took them back. First, the underwear. Sadly, they had gone on clearance and were all gone. When I asked for a refund, the clerk suggested that perhaps I might be able to find something cuter. Never insult a woman's taste in panties unless they are the granny variety (in which case a 30 year old woman in granny panties is indeed fair game). These most certainly were not. I was appalled that she would sugest that something cuter would be more appropriate. Sure, cute is just fine. I am not opposed to bright colors and patterns. Goodness knows I have wandered about with an animal print butt. However, for every day wear I prefer something more subdued. Less likely to show through my clothes in color and seams. It's not like anyone sees them anyway, so they should be making ME happy and decidedly not chaf-ey). I kept my grumbling to myself and wandered on my way.
And off to Vickies where a sales lady decended upon me instantly. When I mentioned that the bras I bought were too big, she instantly pulled out her tape measure and offered to feel me up...I mean measure me. I told her that I had been measured last time, but if she really wanted to touch my boobs right there in front of everybody, she could. Ok. I was THINKING most of that. So first she said I have a small frame. (!!!OOH!!! Tell me more!!) The she measures down, around, and up, and says, you couls be a...34 DD ("sister size"). And while that only means that I am the size I thought I was, I am telling myself that my measurements are both bigger and smaller than I thought they were. and in a good way. I think I glowed. For once, I left the mall feeling good about myself despite the panty insult.
this and that
why is it that every time I hear the expression "Colder than a witch's tit" I want to reach up and see how cold they are? I know they're warm. They are right there, encased in a couple of layers of clothing and are no cooler than the rest of my body. but it never fails, my hands twitch every time. Kind of awkward when I am at work.
I made a crack today about trolling Frat row down at State for drunk young men and someone believed me. I am amazed, sometimes at what people will believe of me.
All for now, but I'm looking to go shopping so that may very well change...
I made a crack today about trolling Frat row down at State for drunk young men and someone believed me. I am amazed, sometimes at what people will believe of me.
All for now, but I'm looking to go shopping so that may very well change...
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Disappointment
So I went. And I had a good time. And I maintained a good attitude despite the fact that coffee crush's fuck friend was there. I'm glad I had advance warning of that. She was a nice girl. They are all very nice, actually. I was happy to be invited back to coffee crush's house for after party fun. Not alone, of course. I really felt as though there was a possible connection there. And I looked fantastic. Wish you could see the shoes.
But the Magic Pirate Head was right again. There will be no dating of the Coffee Crush. He is a victim of my number one deal breaker. The one that I won't budge on. I can accept that he is the bass player, even though I told myself no more musicians after biker bob. And I don't really mind that he smokes like a chimney, as E and T were both smokers. But coffee crush likes to smoke something else too. And he was quite excited to get home and do so. And I politely bowed out. Had I driven myself, I might have cried a bit on the way home. I am terribly disappointed. But I didn't drive myself, and so I maintained my composure as always. I'm sure Wayne knew I was upset. I didn't tell him why I was quiet, just explained that I do not care to be around pot smoking. He understood.
I should stop pretending that I am not interested in anyone. I think we all know that's a false front. I just keep telling myself that so I stop getting myself hurt. It isn't working. It's going to be hard to get out of the habit of having a crush on him. I'm glad I never asked him to dinner. There might have been a second or third date. And things might have gotten complicated.
So goodbye to the Coffee Crush. May I learn soon to listen to the wisdom of the Pirate Head.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
No title today
So Last night I discoverd Equadorian Chocolate. Well, actually, the bar I ate (and I say ate even though I am eating it now because it will be gone by the time you read this) came out of Spain, but the chocolate bar it'self is 71% cocoa. I am not a chocoholic. Generally one bite will take care of all my chocolate needs. Now I know. It's not chocolae unless it's pure. I heard stories about how American chocolate is inferior. And I have eaten Lindt truffles which are smooth and good. But this? Might just be heaven. I may have to have more. But not today. I don't think I ever want to even see another Hershey bar in my house. this is what they are talking about when they say chocolate. This is what they mean when they talk about stimulating the pleasure receptors. This is the stuff they mean when they say that chocolate is good for you and full of antioxidents. Holy crap, I think I'm hooked.
Meanwhile, in other news,
I got up early this morning for a volunteer opportunity. I got all dressed up in my BDUs to plant trees. I planted three Toyen bushes and three monkeyflowers. I bought a tree and a plaque for my family, didn't stick around to plant it. I've never left early for a volunteer event in my life. But we also weren't really doing anything. And the directions were quite confusing. I'm not feeling very good about having left, so I think I didn't do the right thing this time (I probably should have at least planted my tree but I really wanted the plaque to go with it and I'm just not comfortable with the fact that it could be. I'd rather know that they went into the ground together) Everyone else wanted to leave too. I don't know. That was my morning. I'm hungry (this is the first time I have volenteered at an event where they didn't at least provide water) which would explain why I finished off the chocolate bar before I even finished the last paragraph. I should quit blogging and go eat.
Seems like there was something else too, but I have forgotten what it was. I'm looking forward to my outing tonight, I'm nervous. Bought three pairs of shoes. I'm not really sure what got into me there. I'm being silly though, and I know it. So I am going to go wash the dirt away and lounge in my pajamas until it's time to go to work. I think I hear my spinning wheel calling.
Meanwhile, in other news,
I got up early this morning for a volunteer opportunity. I got all dressed up in my BDUs to plant trees. I planted three Toyen bushes and three monkeyflowers. I bought a tree and a plaque for my family, didn't stick around to plant it. I've never left early for a volunteer event in my life. But we also weren't really doing anything. And the directions were quite confusing. I'm not feeling very good about having left, so I think I didn't do the right thing this time (I probably should have at least planted my tree but I really wanted the plaque to go with it and I'm just not comfortable with the fact that it could be. I'd rather know that they went into the ground together) Everyone else wanted to leave too. I don't know. That was my morning. I'm hungry (this is the first time I have volenteered at an event where they didn't at least provide water) which would explain why I finished off the chocolate bar before I even finished the last paragraph. I should quit blogging and go eat.
Seems like there was something else too, but I have forgotten what it was. I'm looking forward to my outing tonight, I'm nervous. Bought three pairs of shoes. I'm not really sure what got into me there. I'm being silly though, and I know it. So I am going to go wash the dirt away and lounge in my pajamas until it's time to go to work. I think I hear my spinning wheel calling.
Friday, January 19, 2007
I think it's the hair
| You Are Miss Piggy |
 A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it. You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less. You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way. Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift! |
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The best laid plans
So, remember the part of the story where I was going to knit a goodwill scarf for C's girl? yeah. I finished it tonight while we watched Scrubs and um...
I really thought it would be bigger. So I will knit her another, (I only had one ball of that yarn) and send that one to my niece or something. sheesh.
Over the last couple of days, I learned something private about one of my coworkers. And I decided that I didn't really want to know that about that person. Sadly, you can't unlearn anything. But I have a tendency towards the nosey side of life, and I learned that sometimes things are better kept private.
I am going to lower my hours at Harbucks. I slept through my alarm again this morning.
I am going on Saturday with Wayne to see Coffee Crush's band play. I don't know what I am going to wear. I also don't know why I am worried about it. When I told Ben (yeah, we met for tea. and then dinner) that I wasn't interested in anything romantic, I meant it. And no, that doesn't mean I am interested in "benefits", it means that I don't even think that I would date Coffee Crush if he asked. I know I am too young to take myself out of the game, but I got weepy again tonight. I didn't mean to. It just happened. And while I used to think it would be nice to meet someone to make me forget, I replay mind movies of life and times with Biker Bob and I am glad I am alone.
In happier news, I heard from my friend Bean the other day. She had faded away for several years and I had been worried about her. I sent cards and catalogs so she would know what I was up to if she was still commmunicating with her mom, and I imagined all sorts of adventures that she was having. I have always said that Bean is my wild side, and so I just knew she was living the hippy party life and having wild times. Well, it turns out that she's on the wildest adventure of them all, she sent me pictures of her son. Kind of a blow when your wild side has a kid.
I'd better go to bed. I know that after three days or so I had lots to say.
I really thought it would be bigger. So I will knit her another, (I only had one ball of that yarn) and send that one to my niece or something. sheesh.
Over the last couple of days, I learned something private about one of my coworkers. And I decided that I didn't really want to know that about that person. Sadly, you can't unlearn anything. But I have a tendency towards the nosey side of life, and I learned that sometimes things are better kept private.
I am going to lower my hours at Harbucks. I slept through my alarm again this morning.
I am going on Saturday with Wayne to see Coffee Crush's band play. I don't know what I am going to wear. I also don't know why I am worried about it. When I told Ben (yeah, we met for tea. and then dinner) that I wasn't interested in anything romantic, I meant it. And no, that doesn't mean I am interested in "benefits", it means that I don't even think that I would date Coffee Crush if he asked. I know I am too young to take myself out of the game, but I got weepy again tonight. I didn't mean to. It just happened. And while I used to think it would be nice to meet someone to make me forget, I replay mind movies of life and times with Biker Bob and I am glad I am alone.
In happier news, I heard from my friend Bean the other day. She had faded away for several years and I had been worried about her. I sent cards and catalogs so she would know what I was up to if she was still commmunicating with her mom, and I imagined all sorts of adventures that she was having. I have always said that Bean is my wild side, and so I just knew she was living the hippy party life and having wild times. Well, it turns out that she's on the wildest adventure of them all, she sent me pictures of her son. Kind of a blow when your wild side has a kid.
I'd better go to bed. I know that after three days or so I had lots to say.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Weekend Update
It was quite a party weekend with surprisingly little drama. It was my friend Carolyn's 30th birthday bash, and we got drunk on Friday night, played games and watched movies Saturday night, and painted ceramics on Sunday night. Those of us who were left. I came and went. I had intended to stay all weekend as if I were out of town, but since I was not out of town, my life beckoned, and I mostly answered. I didn't tend to the homefires as I should of, but I had a great time. things i learned?
Some women are not afraid to handle each other's dildos. I didn't touch it, but here is the look on my face...
I have a bubble butt. I know I joke about my ghetto bootie, but I didn't know how serious it was until I saw pictures. I don't think you need to see the picture. but trust me. It's big, and round. Baloon-like, even.
If you believe in the "Orb" phenomenon in pictures, there were plenty captured. Only in certain areas of the house we were at, only at certain times at the party, and only around certain people. It's facinating to me, so here is a picture.
In the photo above, I am playing a game called Guesstures. Here are a few qotes from the game, which is like charades, only timed. Although there is a picture, I will not post the part where I tore off my shirt in an effort to demonstrate "Cast Off". Don't worry, I was wearing a bra.
"I'm Drunk"
"I had to find who was wearing underwear!" (after three attempts, I was the one wearing underwear)
"Way to stick that finger up your nostril!"
"Lick, Lick" "Nice"
"Cones honey, you got cones!"
"I want Nachos. My face is numb"
I was going to give you the fart quote, the one where we describe what it smelld like, but I have my limits.
Carolyn fell and hurt her knee yesterday while pretending to strip the the window at the Chinese Buffet. Today, I misunderstood her question, and was celebrating a Charger Victory at the mall, when she hit me with her cane. She was way too quick to lash out with that cane. A natrual. I was very disapointed to discover that she hadn't asked the mall patron if the Chargers won, but if they lost. When I learned the truth, I gave a more appropriate response.(FUCK!) It was nice seeing my city get all excited. I really had hope for the team. I will be sorry to see our coach lose his job, as is rumored.
Thus ends my weekend. I pray for an uneventful week.
Some women are not afraid to handle each other's dildos. I didn't touch it, but here is the look on my face...
I have a bubble butt. I know I joke about my ghetto bootie, but I didn't know how serious it was until I saw pictures. I don't think you need to see the picture. but trust me. It's big, and round. Baloon-like, even.
If you believe in the "Orb" phenomenon in pictures, there were plenty captured. Only in certain areas of the house we were at, only at certain times at the party, and only around certain people. It's facinating to me, so here is a picture.
In the photo above, I am playing a game called Guesstures. Here are a few qotes from the game, which is like charades, only timed. Although there is a picture, I will not post the part where I tore off my shirt in an effort to demonstrate "Cast Off". Don't worry, I was wearing a bra.
"I'm Drunk"
"I had to find who was wearing underwear!" (after three attempts, I was the one wearing underwear)
"Way to stick that finger up your nostril!"
"Lick, Lick" "Nice"
"Cones honey, you got cones!"
"I want Nachos. My face is numb"
I was going to give you the fart quote, the one where we describe what it smelld like, but I have my limits.
Carolyn fell and hurt her knee yesterday while pretending to strip the the window at the Chinese Buffet. Today, I misunderstood her question, and was celebrating a Charger Victory at the mall, when she hit me with her cane. She was way too quick to lash out with that cane. A natrual. I was very disapointed to discover that she hadn't asked the mall patron if the Chargers won, but if they lost. When I learned the truth, I gave a more appropriate response.(FUCK!) It was nice seeing my city get all excited. I really had hope for the team. I will be sorry to see our coach lose his job, as is rumored.
Thus ends my weekend. I pray for an uneventful week.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Environmentalist rant
apparently, I am extra rant-y today.
I was reading the news...I mean working today and I came accross the following quote in regards to the Coyote hunt that happens in Baker, WY each year
“I don’t know why God put them on this Earth,” said Jerrid Geving, a hunter who organizes the Baker event. “If He put them on this world to give us sport for hunting, maybe. But I’ll tell you what, they do a lot of damage to livestock.”
You don't know why god put them on this earth? They, like any other creature are an important part of the food chain. Your livestock? arrived later. Having them helps keep the things clean, as they are scavengers and will eat carcass. They cull the herbavore herds by picking off the weak, old, and sick. And yes, the Grey Wolf does this too, but don't underestimate the need for this lovely creature.
I too have lost pets to coyote. It's the realty of living in rural areas. And I don't have issue with this hunt, as long as the coyotes are not threatened as a speicis. Readily available food causes population booms. But I don't believe that any creature, no matter how lowly it is considered to be is useless. I don't think any creature exists just for sport. So sir, pull your ignorant head out of your ass and remember that there are no useless creatures, that everything on earth has a purpose and a place, even if we have disrupted that with our farming and livestock (something I am also not against, I just recognize how it changes the flow of nature).
I just get really mad when a life is considered useless.
I was reading the news...I mean working today and I came accross the following quote in regards to the Coyote hunt that happens in Baker, WY each year
“I don’t know why God put them on this Earth,” said Jerrid Geving, a hunter who organizes the Baker event. “If He put them on this world to give us sport for hunting, maybe. But I’ll tell you what, they do a lot of damage to livestock.”
You don't know why god put them on this earth? They, like any other creature are an important part of the food chain. Your livestock? arrived later. Having them helps keep the things clean, as they are scavengers and will eat carcass. They cull the herbavore herds by picking off the weak, old, and sick. And yes, the Grey Wolf does this too, but don't underestimate the need for this lovely creature.
I too have lost pets to coyote. It's the realty of living in rural areas. And I don't have issue with this hunt, as long as the coyotes are not threatened as a speicis. Readily available food causes population booms. But I don't believe that any creature, no matter how lowly it is considered to be is useless. I don't think any creature exists just for sport. So sir, pull your ignorant head out of your ass and remember that there are no useless creatures, that everything on earth has a purpose and a place, even if we have disrupted that with our farming and livestock (something I am also not against, I just recognize how it changes the flow of nature).
I just get really mad when a life is considered useless.
Championable | Fatherhood, Parenting, Love, and Politics.: Abortion, Birth Control, %u201CRespect Life.%u201D
Championable | Fatherhood, Parenting, Love, and Politics.: Abortion, Birth Control, %u201CRespect Life.%u201D
Every so often I get all wound up religiously. This post didn't do it, but a comment on it did. And instead of insiting a comment riot, I thought I would give my thoughts on the answers of Steve here.
This is what he said: (I have placed in bold the item that pissed me off)
I wish I was so lucky as to have a local parish priest as bold as yours. You're right in saying that we don't even know whether it (i.e., ESC therapies) will work is the very last reason we should oppose it. In fact, I would think the opposite argument more convincing: It may work... and thereby create actual demand (not yet pursued by much in the way of venture capital... which is why these researchers need the gov't to bankroll their Faustian playground) to procure and utilize "human tissues".
I sort of understand the “natural law” argument. But frankly, if we’re not supposed to modify the way we’ve been set up by God, then we should probably stop wearing clothes, riding in cars and airplanes, and DEFINITELY stop with all this “medical care.”
Well then, you clearly don't understand the "natural law" argument.
Regarding the question of whether the "goal" (i.e., that of NFP vis-a-vis artificial contraception "is identical: having sex for fun, and to avoid conception," I think you are missing a couple of points:
1) if a couple use NFP to avoid conception (for just causes, see(2)), then they are, by definition, not having sex for fun to avoid conception; and
2) NFP is not a licit method of contraception, but rather a licit method to delay conception or space out children for just reasons. A fine point, perhaps, put a clear one to those willing to think with the Church.
Nevertheless, if one cannot see the difference between NFP and contraception, then I would urge you not to practice it.
The idea that the Church's teaching on contraception is causative (or even correlative) with ills such as neglect, HIV, and murder is standard left-wing agitprop, and not worthy of any response above mockery.
I think the letter on the whole to be disingenuous. You are not "truly baffled", but have instead rather made up your mind on the matter, as you obviously have in other matters, in direct opposition to the Church's clear and univocal teaching throughout her history.
This is a matter that gets me every time. That this man finds fault with Rich and his questioning of the teachings of the church. Are Catholics not Christians, believing in the idea that Chirst died for thier sins, and that he is the son of God and all that? Are they not supposed to be following the teachings of Christ? Christ. Not the church. And I seriously doubt that Jesus would support what I view as an attack on Rich's faith. Something about he who is without sin casting the first stone. He is being called out for arguing a life or death point with an institution run by humans. He is being called leftist (which in some circles is a serious insult) for looking at data that supports the fact that the use of barrier contraception prevents the spread of disease, and that by banning the use of all contraception you are perpetuating the issue. This is a well documented fact. Rich is not saying everyone should go out and get on the pill. He is questioning whether in a world where humans are intelligent enough to stop and check to see if they are fertile by measuring secretions (my sister took the classes. It's all pretty gross. In fact, it migh work just because it's a turn off, "Not tonight dear, my secretions are very elastic and we aren't financially ready for kids yet") before engaging in intercourse, perhaps they should be allowed to use another method in thier family planning. To space out the children so to speak. If we are going to jump to conclusions, then lets just go ahead and say that people who can't or don't want to have children shouldn't have sex. (in which case the Magic Pirate Head's prediction that I will never have sex again might actually be valid)
People are going to have sex. The antiquated idea that it occurs only for the purpose of procreation is as rediculous as the belief once held that women don't enjoy the act, that they should do it out of "duty to thier husbands". We are, in essence, animals. Animals eat and fuck. Humans have learned that while they may not always be able to control the urge to do the latter, they can control the outcome. They can be safe about it and save lives by stopping the spread of disease. they can enrich the lives of society as a whole by not bringing more people into the world than it can comfortably feed. The Bible was written in a time when a child rarely made it to adulthood. in order to purpetuate the species, we could not afford to miss any opportunity for conception. This is no longer the case, and I believe that Rich sees this. Some people do not follow blindly. Some like to think for themselves.
Galileo was burned at the stake for insisting that the earth revolved around the sun. Do not call Rich a bad Catholic because he questions the Church. (and Steve, I am not attacking you, only your words. They could have been voiced by anyone) Rich is, from what I have seen, a man who found his faith in God thorough the teachings of the Catholic Church. We all find faith in our own way. Questioning doesn't make him less of a good man, a good father, and an honest businessman. It doesn't make him unfaithful to God. Is there not a commandment that says "Thou shalt not put any God before me".and I seem to remember something about how you aren't supposed to worship false idols. I am not questioning your faith, I am not bashing the religion. Any institution that helps guide a person closer to God is by definition a good thing in my world. But do not confuse the church with God, or the teachings of the men in charge with the teachings of your Christ. In the end, the church is a building. God, eternal. And while you are arguing that Rich should not disagree with the Church, ask yourself if you are following the teachings of God or the Building.
Every so often I get all wound up religiously. This post didn't do it, but a comment on it did. And instead of insiting a comment riot, I thought I would give my thoughts on the answers of Steve here.
This is what he said: (I have placed in bold the item that pissed me off)
I wish I was so lucky as to have a local parish priest as bold as yours. You're right in saying that we don't even know whether it (i.e., ESC therapies) will work is the very last reason we should oppose it. In fact, I would think the opposite argument more convincing: It may work... and thereby create actual demand (not yet pursued by much in the way of venture capital... which is why these researchers need the gov't to bankroll their Faustian playground) to procure and utilize "human tissues".
I sort of understand the “natural law” argument. But frankly, if we’re not supposed to modify the way we’ve been set up by God, then we should probably stop wearing clothes, riding in cars and airplanes, and DEFINITELY stop with all this “medical care.”
Well then, you clearly don't understand the "natural law" argument.
Regarding the question of whether the "goal" (i.e., that of NFP vis-a-vis artificial contraception "is identical: having sex for fun, and to avoid conception," I think you are missing a couple of points:
1) if a couple use NFP to avoid conception (for just causes, see(2)), then they are, by definition, not having sex for fun to avoid conception; and
2) NFP is not a licit method of contraception, but rather a licit method to delay conception or space out children for just reasons. A fine point, perhaps, put a clear one to those willing to think with the Church.
Nevertheless, if one cannot see the difference between NFP and contraception, then I would urge you not to practice it.
The idea that the Church's teaching on contraception is causative (or even correlative) with ills such as neglect, HIV, and murder is standard left-wing agitprop, and not worthy of any response above mockery.
I think the letter on the whole to be disingenuous. You are not "truly baffled", but have instead rather made up your mind on the matter, as you obviously have in other matters, in direct opposition to the Church's clear and univocal teaching throughout her history.
This is a matter that gets me every time. That this man finds fault with Rich and his questioning of the teachings of the church. Are Catholics not Christians, believing in the idea that Chirst died for thier sins, and that he is the son of God and all that? Are they not supposed to be following the teachings of Christ? Christ. Not the church. And I seriously doubt that Jesus would support what I view as an attack on Rich's faith. Something about he who is without sin casting the first stone. He is being called out for arguing a life or death point with an institution run by humans. He is being called leftist (which in some circles is a serious insult) for looking at data that supports the fact that the use of barrier contraception prevents the spread of disease, and that by banning the use of all contraception you are perpetuating the issue. This is a well documented fact. Rich is not saying everyone should go out and get on the pill. He is questioning whether in a world where humans are intelligent enough to stop and check to see if they are fertile by measuring secretions (my sister took the classes. It's all pretty gross. In fact, it migh work just because it's a turn off, "Not tonight dear, my secretions are very elastic and we aren't financially ready for kids yet") before engaging in intercourse, perhaps they should be allowed to use another method in thier family planning. To space out the children so to speak. If we are going to jump to conclusions, then lets just go ahead and say that people who can't or don't want to have children shouldn't have sex. (in which case the Magic Pirate Head's prediction that I will never have sex again might actually be valid)
People are going to have sex. The antiquated idea that it occurs only for the purpose of procreation is as rediculous as the belief once held that women don't enjoy the act, that they should do it out of "duty to thier husbands". We are, in essence, animals. Animals eat and fuck. Humans have learned that while they may not always be able to control the urge to do the latter, they can control the outcome. They can be safe about it and save lives by stopping the spread of disease. they can enrich the lives of society as a whole by not bringing more people into the world than it can comfortably feed. The Bible was written in a time when a child rarely made it to adulthood. in order to purpetuate the species, we could not afford to miss any opportunity for conception. This is no longer the case, and I believe that Rich sees this. Some people do not follow blindly. Some like to think for themselves.
Galileo was burned at the stake for insisting that the earth revolved around the sun. Do not call Rich a bad Catholic because he questions the Church. (and Steve, I am not attacking you, only your words. They could have been voiced by anyone) Rich is, from what I have seen, a man who found his faith in God thorough the teachings of the Catholic Church. We all find faith in our own way. Questioning doesn't make him less of a good man, a good father, and an honest businessman. It doesn't make him unfaithful to God. Is there not a commandment that says "Thou shalt not put any God before me".and I seem to remember something about how you aren't supposed to worship false idols. I am not questioning your faith, I am not bashing the religion. Any institution that helps guide a person closer to God is by definition a good thing in my world. But do not confuse the church with God, or the teachings of the men in charge with the teachings of your Christ. In the end, the church is a building. God, eternal. And while you are arguing that Rich should not disagree with the Church, ask yourself if you are following the teachings of God or the Building.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Pirate Head Predictions and cheese
Every so often a quote comes out of my office that's so random, or so silly, that it has to be mentioned. Like last week when my boss asked me "How can anyone be so goody two shoes?" It's a lifelong issue.
Today's random quote is:
"Hey man, you can't go messing with someone's cheese"
I was really talking about Cheese. Not the figurative kind from "Who Moved My cheese" which I have read and yes it was a good book although perhaps a little too metaphor-y here and there.
I finally broke down and started asking the Pirate Head questions again. I couldn't resist. He's always staring at me from atop the TV all like, "I know the answers if you are brave enough to ask"
So I asked last night if I know Coworker's interested friend. "Aye, Matey." Will I be interested in dating him? "No Way, Arrrgh" (Not surprising. There are over 3000 people working here, I don't think I should date any of them. Plus coworker works for my mom which could really turn into something bad if his friend works for her too)
The rest of the predictions went as so,
I will not date Coffee Crush
I will not meet anyone that I will date in the next month
I have not yet met the next man I will date.
I didn't have the heart to ask if it had changed it's mind about whether I will ever have sex again. It would be too depressing if it said no. again.
The Magic Pirate Head is so negative all the time. I suppose I would be too if people kept shaking my head around, demanding answers and flipping up my eye patch.
Today's random quote is:
"Hey man, you can't go messing with someone's cheese"
I was really talking about Cheese. Not the figurative kind from "Who Moved My cheese" which I have read and yes it was a good book although perhaps a little too metaphor-y here and there.
I finally broke down and started asking the Pirate Head questions again. I couldn't resist. He's always staring at me from atop the TV all like, "I know the answers if you are brave enough to ask"
So I asked last night if I know Coworker's interested friend. "Aye, Matey." Will I be interested in dating him? "No Way, Arrrgh" (Not surprising. There are over 3000 people working here, I don't think I should date any of them. Plus coworker works for my mom which could really turn into something bad if his friend works for her too)
The rest of the predictions went as so,
I will not date Coffee Crush
I will not meet anyone that I will date in the next month
I have not yet met the next man I will date.
I didn't have the heart to ask if it had changed it's mind about whether I will ever have sex again. It would be too depressing if it said no. again.
The Magic Pirate Head is so negative all the time. I suppose I would be too if people kept shaking my head around, demanding answers and flipping up my eye patch.
Monday, January 08, 2007
OH Lordy, Lordy
A coworker just asked how my love life is doing. Apparently he has a friend that is interested and he said he'd go find out what is going on.
Does anyone else hear the sounds of a big can of worms being opened?
Does anyone else hear the sounds of a big can of worms being opened?
Dark Clouds
For some reason, I have been wandering around all cloudy lately. I call it cloudy because I have an amazing imagination and I can feel the anger cloud over my head when I get this way. Sure, it lifts sometimes, but it comes back.
This morning is probably the worst of it. I don't have a good reason for it. Today I had to take a walk before 8 am. I was tempted to keep going. I work in hickville, so walking away is not really a good idea since I don't like getting dirt in my shoes and eventually I would run into a cow. It's not really hickville. But I'm not kidding about the cows. They used to make me late to work in the morning because you really don't want to try and drive through a herd of cattle. especially the brahama bull. sucker was huge. AND they have a you break it you buy it policy around here when it comes to the cows. Plus you don't get to take it home and grill it. Not that I would, I'd have someone else do it for me. Or, the cow would rot while I waited for someone to clean and cook it for me.
So anyhow, I've been feling grumpy and frustrated and ready for a change in situation or job or something. I'm frustrated with my primary job for various reasons, but I don't think I can do better elsewhere, I think I just need to be working for myself. BUT I am not feeling soap motivated either because during the rare moments I am at home, I just want to play. And while soap is fun, there are still parts that aren't so. Like formatting my labels and wrapping and trimming. I don't really mind those things because I get great satisfaction from selling the stuff and I am truly hoping to be a huge success. That is, live in the house the soap built. In San Diego.
Just as I was thinking that I should go ahead and quit my jobs and apply for a sugar daddy, I came across the following picture. And my cloud instantly dissapated like someone shot it with a lazer beam. and my day started running smoothly. This one belongs to Rich Championable's kid. Rich (yes, you this time) perhaps you need to get this kid a showing at a gallery.
Come to think of it, I'm going to link to the picture. I don't know how Rich would feel about someone stealing his kid's art. And I feel a bit funny copying it.
Championable | Fatherhood, Parenting, Love, and Politics.: We interrupt this here blog...
This morning is probably the worst of it. I don't have a good reason for it. Today I had to take a walk before 8 am. I was tempted to keep going. I work in hickville, so walking away is not really a good idea since I don't like getting dirt in my shoes and eventually I would run into a cow. It's not really hickville. But I'm not kidding about the cows. They used to make me late to work in the morning because you really don't want to try and drive through a herd of cattle. especially the brahama bull. sucker was huge. AND they have a you break it you buy it policy around here when it comes to the cows. Plus you don't get to take it home and grill it. Not that I would, I'd have someone else do it for me. Or, the cow would rot while I waited for someone to clean and cook it for me.
So anyhow, I've been feling grumpy and frustrated and ready for a change in situation or job or something. I'm frustrated with my primary job for various reasons, but I don't think I can do better elsewhere, I think I just need to be working for myself. BUT I am not feeling soap motivated either because during the rare moments I am at home, I just want to play. And while soap is fun, there are still parts that aren't so. Like formatting my labels and wrapping and trimming. I don't really mind those things because I get great satisfaction from selling the stuff and I am truly hoping to be a huge success. That is, live in the house the soap built. In San Diego.
Just as I was thinking that I should go ahead and quit my jobs and apply for a sugar daddy, I came across the following picture. And my cloud instantly dissapated like someone shot it with a lazer beam. and my day started running smoothly. This one belongs to Rich Championable's kid. Rich (yes, you this time) perhaps you need to get this kid a showing at a gallery.
Come to think of it, I'm going to link to the picture. I don't know how Rich would feel about someone stealing his kid's art. And I feel a bit funny copying it.
Championable | Fatherhood, Parenting, Love, and Politics.: We interrupt this here blog...
Friday, January 05, 2007
In perspective
So, after a couple of days of staying home sick, and excepting for the throat which is still sore, I feel great!!
And I realized something yesterday.
That in regards to my Coffee Crush, I'm just the girl who pours his coffee. I make small talk, he moves along. I don't think I am thought of beyond that and while it's a little disapointing, I'm surprisingly ok with it.
And I realized something yesterday.
That in regards to my Coffee Crush, I'm just the girl who pours his coffee. I make small talk, he moves along. I don't think I am thought of beyond that and while it's a little disapointing, I'm surprisingly ok with it.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
My therapy
I went home sick today. Or I should say they ran me out like a common pigmy. I went home and strait to bed with thoughts of all I could accomplish today in my head. It's hard for me to stop a moment and heal, but this is what I am doing. After getting all the rest I think I needed, I went to the store and p[icked up food. I decided to feed this sore throat all that it can swallow and get my stregnth back. I'm not doing so wel with that, only because I'm not very good at eating while I am at home. It's no fun cooking for myself. Thank goodness for frozen food.
The bird, who has always been the sort to stay on her cage and be terrified of being off of it has been jumping off lately and wandering about the house. This doesn't bother me, it tells me she is happier in her new digs. She followed me around while I put away my groceries and talked to me in my voice, which flattered me to no end. Rich will understand how wonderful that is.
Meanwhile, Chickie asked if the curtain is closing on my blog, and the answer is "Oh Hell NO!" This is my therapy. And possibly my favorite addiction. I look forward to blogging each day. It provides an outlet I wouldn't know otherwise and gives me an opportunity to expres myself in a public manner. I can be as goofy or as silly as I want to be. I never thought two years ago when I forst heard about blogging that it would become such a staple in my life.
And you. So many of you I know only through your blogs. In some ways I might know you better than your families because you express yourselves differently there than anywhere. It's like reading a novel where the people are real and the story doesn't end. I love every minute of it.
In other news, I met C's new someone last night. I was very apprehensive, as I am sure I mentioned, and meeting her put to rest all my issues. It was still strange to know that she was going home with him to the room where I used to sleep. But I found her to be very nice and of an attractiveness that wasn't at all intimidating. Equal footing, if you will. Rumor has it I did very well and didn't act at all strange. I felt very awkward. But you have to do what is right when possible, and I wouldn't have dealt with it any other way. Sometimes, you have to swallow your misgivings and fears.
The bird, who has always been the sort to stay on her cage and be terrified of being off of it has been jumping off lately and wandering about the house. This doesn't bother me, it tells me she is happier in her new digs. She followed me around while I put away my groceries and talked to me in my voice, which flattered me to no end. Rich will understand how wonderful that is.
Meanwhile, Chickie asked if the curtain is closing on my blog, and the answer is "Oh Hell NO!" This is my therapy. And possibly my favorite addiction. I look forward to blogging each day. It provides an outlet I wouldn't know otherwise and gives me an opportunity to expres myself in a public manner. I can be as goofy or as silly as I want to be. I never thought two years ago when I forst heard about blogging that it would become such a staple in my life.
And you. So many of you I know only through your blogs. In some ways I might know you better than your families because you express yourselves differently there than anywhere. It's like reading a novel where the people are real and the story doesn't end. I love every minute of it.
In other news, I met C's new someone last night. I was very apprehensive, as I am sure I mentioned, and meeting her put to rest all my issues. It was still strange to know that she was going home with him to the room where I used to sleep. But I found her to be very nice and of an attractiveness that wasn't at all intimidating. Equal footing, if you will. Rumor has it I did very well and didn't act at all strange. I felt very awkward. But you have to do what is right when possible, and I wouldn't have dealt with it any other way. Sometimes, you have to swallow your misgivings and fears.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
a change of heart
I was going to post about something. Somthing that I meeded to get out there and out of my head and heart. Then I realized something.
Some hurts are better kept to yourself. Sometimes, after taking a deep breath, you realize that it's really only important to you, and that it really isn't as important as you originally thought.
That the new situation doesn't really change anything (except, um, the magic pirate head was right again, which is scary, as always)and that you are no better or worse than you were before.
And sometimes, even though you are shocked initially, it really is the best thing.
So you bow your final curtsy (because I am a curtsy kind of girl) and you watch the curtain fall.
Some hurts are better kept to yourself. Sometimes, after taking a deep breath, you realize that it's really only important to you, and that it really isn't as important as you originally thought.
That the new situation doesn't really change anything (except, um, the magic pirate head was right again, which is scary, as always)and that you are no better or worse than you were before.
And sometimes, even though you are shocked initially, it really is the best thing.
So you bow your final curtsy (because I am a curtsy kind of girl) and you watch the curtain fall.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Not just a new day
Consider one New Year's resolution kept. with glee. Thank goodness.
I dropped off the cookies to Wayne and my coworkers. Wayne invited me to go with him to spend New Years with Coffee Crush and company. I politely declined. First of all, I had already told my friends that I would be attending their parties. I like to follow through and while they would have understood, I still think it important to keep the plans that you make. Even when there is a handsome man involved. ESPECIALLY when there is a handsome man involved because...
In the name of crushes, I have put myself in some very uncomfortable positions over the years. Ended up in some very bad situations. One, could have cost me my life, many, certainly cost me my dignity and my confidence. Both of these things grow back. Life, once gone, cannot be returned. I'm not saying that going with Wayne would have been in the least bit dangerous, but I would have felt odd at a party where I hardly knew ayone, and if Coffee Crush had a date there, I would have been exceptionally uncomfortable. Not to mention the mild creepy factor showing up there. If I knew that crew just a little bit better, it would be ok. But right now, all I have is a bit of small talk because they buy their coffee from me. Hardly a friendship. and anyway...
The first party was really fun. I have missed my friends more than I knew due to my self imposed outcast. They were all happy to see me and I was happy to see them. It was good to be there and tempting to stay. But I knew that if I did stay, I would drink too much. Plus, I had promised myself elsewhere. And while it was hard to go, I'm glad I went because...
I had a blast at the second party. My "date" was there, and also my sister and her husband. and her husband? is funny anyway, but get him drunk and hilarity ensues. I have hopes that I will get a copy of the video that I can post because if you guys find it half as funny as I did, you'll be crying too. I was paralized with laughter. And I didn't drink too much. In fact I wasn't even buzzed. So when the time came to go home, I went home. and slept in my ouwn bed. Which is just where I like to be. and I started out the new year in such a way that I can't think of any other way I would like to be. With friendship, laughter and flannel sheets.
I dropped off the cookies to Wayne and my coworkers. Wayne invited me to go with him to spend New Years with Coffee Crush and company. I politely declined. First of all, I had already told my friends that I would be attending their parties. I like to follow through and while they would have understood, I still think it important to keep the plans that you make. Even when there is a handsome man involved. ESPECIALLY when there is a handsome man involved because...
In the name of crushes, I have put myself in some very uncomfortable positions over the years. Ended up in some very bad situations. One, could have cost me my life, many, certainly cost me my dignity and my confidence. Both of these things grow back. Life, once gone, cannot be returned. I'm not saying that going with Wayne would have been in the least bit dangerous, but I would have felt odd at a party where I hardly knew ayone, and if Coffee Crush had a date there, I would have been exceptionally uncomfortable. Not to mention the mild creepy factor showing up there. If I knew that crew just a little bit better, it would be ok. But right now, all I have is a bit of small talk because they buy their coffee from me. Hardly a friendship. and anyway...
The first party was really fun. I have missed my friends more than I knew due to my self imposed outcast. They were all happy to see me and I was happy to see them. It was good to be there and tempting to stay. But I knew that if I did stay, I would drink too much. Plus, I had promised myself elsewhere. And while it was hard to go, I'm glad I went because...
I had a blast at the second party. My "date" was there, and also my sister and her husband. and her husband? is funny anyway, but get him drunk and hilarity ensues. I have hopes that I will get a copy of the video that I can post because if you guys find it half as funny as I did, you'll be crying too. I was paralized with laughter. And I didn't drink too much. In fact I wasn't even buzzed. So when the time came to go home, I went home. and slept in my ouwn bed. Which is just where I like to be. and I started out the new year in such a way that I can't think of any other way I would like to be. With friendship, laughter and flannel sheets.
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