Wednesday, February 07, 2007

God's Underwear


It occurred to me the other day that religion is like underwear.

Now, before you run me out on a line for being blasphemous, (yeah, I know, if you haven't by now...) hear me out. You have your typical Fundies. um. Fundimentalist Christians. I'm going to group the Muslims in here too, not because I think the faiths are alike, but, because they are often alike in their fervor. Now, I'm not talking about quiet faithful. I'm talking about the loud, in your face, suicide bombing, Bible thumping kind. the ones that approach you on the street corner and ask if you are saved. Their underwear would have to be the traditional Union Suit. Full on long johns with a butt flap and everything. These guys gotta show God and everybody how faithful they are. They have to make sure they are covered. completely covered, even though their underwear might be their only wear.

Middle Christians and Catholics? Regular faithful but not extreme Muslims? The ones who will tell you about God, but won't shove it in your face. Who go to church every Sunday and truly believe. I put the Hindu in here too. Those guys? they're wearing granny panties. (ok, briefs if you must insist that you don't wear panties) They don't mind if you see thier underwear, even if that means it's hanging out the top of thier pants...

Then there are those who believe but don't need a meeting. They worship quietly. Buhddist. Wicca (some. Some belong in granny panties). Christmas Catholics. Easter Christians. Bikinis. sometimes string, sometimes low rise. They like to know their ass is covered, but they don't like the complete cover of the brief, they definately have panty lines though.

Agnostic? Thong. totally. Ass might not be covered, but the naughty bits are.

Athiest? Commando. They don't need cover, there's no one checking!

Maybe I DO need to get back to working during the week...

5 comments:

DoctorK said...

That was hilarious! Surface, and not really the whole story (as I'm sure you know), but funny none-the-less. I guess I would be a granny panty Christian.

Sensei Ern said...

My Fundie Undies would look like this: http://www.hamiltonspectator.com/images/hs/hs1573648_1.jpg

Rich | Championable said...

Damn, dude. That was a pretty inspired post!

Ginamonster said...

K-Totally not the whole story but couldn't seem to make it flow two days after inspiration hit.

Sensei-you might disagree but I don't group you with the fundies. (I love your fundie undies though) you are far too open minded and willing to listen and discuss. But you could totally go T Shirt and bloomers.

Rich-Funny, inspiration hit as I was getting in or out of the shower the other night. and um, well...

Sensei Ern said...

Nah, I am not open minded, just open eared and open hearted.