Monday, February 19, 2007

Might be an overshare

I don't discuss health issues here, at least not physical heath issues (my mental health being somewhat questionable, especially when attractive men are around) because I am generally in great shape (lack of physcal exercize notwithstanding) However I do occationally suffer from an ailment we have all become quite familiar with due to an uprising in radio comercials called IBS. I manage my symptoms with diet. Mainly, I don't eat potatoes or cabbage. Or cauliflower. Trust me, it's for the best. I miss potatoes. For some reason I can eat french fries. Damnit.

I was recently made aware of a product on the market called Activia. It's supposed to enhance digestive health. Sounds like miracle yogurt to me! Well, i happened to be at my local warehouse store and happened o notice that I can buy it by the case and I thought, "Hey! If one of those a day will make my innards happy then I'll be happy to carry that box around"

I get to the front. Get in line. And the cute. Looked twice cute. Stared covertly to make sure, cute. (yup. still cute) And I'm thinking, "Not only am I picking up a copy of A Prairie Home Companion, but I'm buying a product that basically has a red flag on it saying I CAN'T er...digest my food in a timely manner" He had to scan it twice. Which means he gave that yogurt more than a glance.

I picked up my chick flick and my new Sinatra CD (points for Sinatra, come on) and went to grab the offending box in order to scurry out and plop. the yogurt containers came dancing right out of the box. I have now been calling attention to myself for far too long. thank GOODNESS the cups were stuck together. They slid right back into the box.

I practically ran out the door.

The question of the day is, Will I ever stop being a freak about these things? I mean, I will never be the kind of woman who announces that I do anything but tinkle, and we all know that I refuse to be held responsible for anything I do in my sleep, especially when I have snuck a bite of coleslaw, so i'm not likely to become open about other body finctions either. I'm not even comfortable buying girly stuff.

On one hand, I can say that at least it wasn't a jumbo box of condoms. on the other, if it were, I'd be getting some, right? But it wasn't. Just live bacteria cultures for me to eat. It wasn't like the time I was buying the ginormous size Seagrums 7 for the desert trip and they had to do a price check. And the checker was waving the bottle around so the whole store could see what a boozer I am. that was ALL I bought that day. At least it wasn't a huge bottle of fiber. That would have been a real red flag.

In my head I am going to pretend that I pretended it was for my mom. Or grandma. The dead one.

I really am derranged.


Gary said...

You were right. Telling me that you are a Sinatra fan was definately TMI. LOL

Ginamonster said...


shqipo said...

Honestly, I don't see why you should be embarrased - except for Sinatra, as gary said. kidding!