Sunday, January 21, 2007

Disappointment




So I went. And I had a good time. And I maintained a good attitude despite the fact that coffee crush's fuck friend was there. I'm glad I had advance warning of that. She was a nice girl. They are all very nice, actually. I was happy to be invited back to coffee crush's house for after party fun. Not alone, of course. I really felt as though there was a possible connection there. And I looked fantastic. Wish you could see the shoes.

But the Magic Pirate Head was right again. There will be no dating of the Coffee Crush. He is a victim of my number one deal breaker. The one that I won't budge on. I can accept that he is the bass player, even though I told myself no more musicians after biker bob. And I don't really mind that he smokes like a chimney, as E and T were both smokers. But coffee crush likes to smoke something else too. And he was quite excited to get home and do so. And I politely bowed out. Had I driven myself, I might have cried a bit on the way home. I am terribly disappointed. But I didn't drive myself, and so I maintained my composure as always. I'm sure Wayne knew I was upset. I didn't tell him why I was quiet, just explained that I do not care to be around pot smoking. He understood.

I should stop pretending that I am not interested in anyone. I think we all know that's a false front. I just keep telling myself that so I stop getting myself hurt. It isn't working. It's going to be hard to get out of the habit of having a crush on him. I'm glad I never asked him to dinner. There might have been a second or third date. And things might have gotten complicated.

So goodbye to the Coffee Crush. May I learn soon to listen to the wisdom of the Pirate Head.

4 comments:

Sensei Ern said...

Good for you for not compromising your standards for unfounded hopes.

I agree that you should stop pretending to not be interested. If you are interested, pursue your target, and if there is a deal breaker, let them know.

Don't waste time on hiding you feelings or hoping to get lucky that someone will change.

jhpwn: Jihad pwned...what our soldiers do each day in Iraq.


THIS IS SENSEI ERN. IT WON'T LET ME LOG IN.

Slick said...

Personally, I think you made a great commitment. Taking a stance on your personal beliefs is what should matter first and foremost.

Rich | Championable said...

Oh, bummer drag. But Sensei and Slick are right: you done good, sister.

Rock on.

Ginamonster said...

Sensei, it looks like you logged in just fine. And what i meant was, that i need to stop pretending that I'm not interested in meeting someone because it's quite obvious to me that I would like to despite my protests.

Thank you all for understanding that this is an important point of contention to me. Part of me wonders if I could handle it, and the smart part says, "No Way"