Monday, May 16, 2005


The wedding shower was a hit. I was so tired I hardly remember it.

Seester confronted cousin, the reply? a deadpan "I'm sorry you feel that way". That's all. I don't think she likes us. But then, looking back, sometimes I think she does. So I guess I am back to not understanding why she is behaving this way.

I managed to spend my entire paycheck before I got paid. Hello overdraft fees. Where does my money go? Say hi to the new and terribly frugal Gina. I still have to pay for my reunion...fuck.

BF was sick but he's better now. I still like him, my sister says he's strange. I whispered that we all are, but really, it's bothering me. I trust her intuitions, and I do tend to pick "winners". I would like to know if it is strange like "J" (formerly known as coworker I dated) or strange, like don't leave your kids with him, or strange, like unknown, which is what I am hoping because I am learing that he doesn't let everyone in (unlike myself and my family). I explained to her that unlike us, BF won't like you until he gets to know you, until you give him a reason to like you. We tend to like you until you give us a reason not to, and then we'll still like you while you walk all over us and hurt our feelings.

I am afraid that someone will give me a reason why I shouldn't continue to see him. I worry that they will tell me he is bad. I don't think he is bad. But I tend to see the best in people and ignore the worst. And I promised myself I would listen to my family and friends when they expressed doubts. I am afraid they will not like him even when they get to know him.

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