If we both feel sick over it, that means it was the wrong chioce, right? right?
No, I have not heard from him. and in all honesty, even if he did say, let's try, then I would know that if I didn't change my mind, it would be over someday anyway, and I could have healed. there would be too much pressure, too much expectation. Too much standing in the way of us really having the relationship we both deserve.
If I changed my mind, he would always wonder if I did it for him. If I had an "accident" he would always wonder if I did it to keep him. In both situations, I would question my own motives too.
If he changed his mind, I would always wonder what would have happened if he hadn't. I would wonder if he regretted it. I think he would second guess himself too.
I am buried in work but I cannot concentrate on it. That's so wrong.
How was I supposed to know that kiss hello was going to be a kiss goodbye? I'm so glad I tried to make it count.
don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...only an hour and a half left, I must be strong and make it through the day. Why did I have to tell myself it was going to be ok?