Dear Britney

I realize that you are under the impression that you are hot shit. I also realize that there are those who will always think you are wonderful, talented, smart, beautiful.
However your announcement over the last couple of days regarding the fact that you will no longer be "keeping yourself up" now that you are married has got to be the most idiotic thing I have heard all day.
don't you realize that this is false advertising? you can't just let yourself go to shit because you are married. You stop being the woman he married, and that makes you a walking false advertisement. I could have you incarcerated or fined for that. (hey, now there's an idea...)
don't you realize that as you get older, it becomes more difficult to take off the weight, and when you get tired of being a stay at home mommy (not a whole lot of attention there for an attention whore) no one wants to see your fat, big mac ass jiggling all over the stage.
Don't you realize that you got to where you are, not on your talent, but on your looks, some good management (ahem, Disney) low cut shirts and um, yeah, that's all I can think of.
I will be the first to admit that you are welthier than I, and that you have done something with your singing career, unlike me. But are you really so full of yourself that you think you can turn into Jabba the Hut and still have a career in this town? No way lady. We are a society (sadly) obsessed with skinny. For some reason we think anorexic if lovely, until you get to Lindsay and Nicole proportions, then it's Shcok! has she gone too far???
Please, do us all a favor (yourself included) keep up the dancing, lay off the Starbucks for awhile, and quit being so damn airheaded.

Thank you. This has been a rant.