Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Dear Self

Idiot Girl,
Please stop torturing yourself with hope. He may have said he would call, but you know it is best that he doesn't. You know you will not get back together, and that although it hurts terribly now, it is better for you both in the long run. Please stop checking your email, he is not going to write. The two of you have no reason to stay in touch and it is best that you don't regardless of the fact that he says he wants to remain friends. In fact, you know in your heart that when he walked out the door, you would not be seeing him again unless it was by accident, and that when you do, you will be crushed all over again because that is the kind of person you are. so although it is in your nature to torture yourself this way, stop. you have other things to focus on now.

Like the fact that the landlord DOES want to break your lease and tonight you might have to stand up to her and tell her where to go and demand copious amounts of money on behalf of your housemates and yourself, even though what you really want is to have a quiet evening of TV and knitting. And, sad to say, your boyfriend back.

And, sad to say, you will likely knit the night away, alone, after you tell the landlady to stuff it, and by the way, don't ever enter my house without permission with no one home on a non emergency basis again or I'll have you arrested for breaking and entering. (this is how I deal, I get worked up about other things)


Sargini said...

Your a sweetheart. I can only hope that my wife loves as long as you do.

Ginamonster said...

Ah, my dear Sargini, unfortunately I have an easy time holding on to what I cannot have. but I don't think love ever goes away, it just changes. I hope with your wife, that it deepens and grows over time.

Sargini said...

Your so funny. and your right. love is for ever. she does love me deeper every day. She tells me that she loves me more than yesterday but not as much as tommorow. I love her so much. I dont ever want to be without her.