Monday, May 02, 2005

Although we have been emailing all day, I feel shy to call him tonight because even though
I know we need to solve this issue to move on (I have been watching him play way too many video games, I think) I fear that he will choose to let me go instead of gambling on a might.

after all, the last one sent me away rather than give up a friendship with his ex.

and what if he decides to gamble? how long will it be until he tells me he doesn't want to wait anymore? What if I haven't changed my mind?

paradox.

2 comments:

Jen said...

Tough position to be in. I don't know your reasoning, so I can't even begin to assume...I never wanted kids...and then I met my soon to be ex, and something clicked and I wanted them...and when things got bad and I decided I would never want him to father my children, I knew it was over...not that this helps you, but, I guess you never know. And if we all held ourselves to promises we made at 16, we would have "KIT and been BBF 4-ever" with everyone we knew...and we would be married to one of the New Kids On the Block. Don't be so hard on yourself...you know where each other stand...and you are both still there...that's a good sign. If you need me, I'm here!!

Ginamonster said...

Thanks. You always give such great insight.
For the record, I never wanted to marry a New Kid. Actually, I didn't go boy crazy until I was 18, and perhaps I will blog my celebrity crushes one of these days.
Still boy crazy, and you know all about Orlando and my secret relationship! (it's so secret, he doesn't know about it!!)