like an idiot

I keep checking my email in case he has sent a message, even though I know he won't, even though I know I shouldn't.

He asked if he should call "tomorrow" or if he should wait a couple days. I asked for a couple of days.

I fear that if I have contact with him, even a little, I will have hope. And I know that is wrong. He has made his choice.

I fall too easily.