yesterday was a whirlwind of madness as I tried to fit apartment arrangeing, choir practice, and Bunco all in one short amount of time. I don't know how I manage to make my schedule overflow, but yesterday it did. My Secret Pal gift this month? a large black dildo. it suctions to the wall "for hands free action". I think it will make a great place to hang my purse since I don't care to have that monstrocity anywhere near my body. It is funny though. I'm not into sex toys. they're scary. and yes, I know that if I tried it, I might like it, but really, I'd rather just hold out for the real thing, thanks.
By the way, choir is cancelled.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
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2 comments:
I would never, ever use a toy. I can just imagine a previous conversation at Dildos-R-Us:
Clerk: Welcome! How may I help you?
Customer: Yes, I would like to return this vibrating dildo?
Clerk: Yes, no problem. Do you have the receipt?
Customer: Yes, right here.
Clerk: Do you mind if I ask why you are returning it?
Customer: Well, it was just a little larger than I needed.
Clerk: I see. Maybe you should consider the Gelding instead of the Stallion. I just happen to have one right here.
Customer: That's great!
Clerk: Would you like me to box it up?
Customer: No, I'll where it out.
Clerk: Thank you. Come again. (to Joe his assistant: Joe, get me the Windex.)
Customer: (To buddy as they leave): Maybe I should have told him the aids test came back positive?
Buddy: Nah, they burn them when they get returned.
Clerk to Customer 2: Welcome! How may I help you?
Customer 2: Yes, I am looking for a vibrating dildo.
Clerk: Well, I just got this Stallion in today.
Customer 2: That's great! I'll take it.
cptpnvgk: One size larger than the Stallion
I didn't say I was going to use it, I kept if for the pure sake of good practical jokes.
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