Thursday, December 01, 2005


yesterday was a whirlwind of madness as I tried to fit apartment arrangeing, choir practice, and Bunco all in one short amount of time. I don't know how I manage to make my schedule overflow, but yesterday it did. My Secret Pal gift this month? a large black dildo. it suctions to the wall "for hands free action". I think it will make a great place to hang my purse since I don't care to have that monstrocity anywhere near my body. It is funny though. I'm not into sex toys. they're scary. and yes, I know that if I tried it, I might like it, but really, I'd rather just hold out for the real thing, thanks.

By the way, choir is cancelled.


Sensei Ern said...

I would never, ever use a toy. I can just imagine a previous conversation at Dildos-R-Us:

Clerk: Welcome! How may I help you?

Customer: Yes, I would like to return this vibrating dildo?

Clerk: Yes, no problem. Do you have the receipt?

Customer: Yes, right here.

Clerk: Do you mind if I ask why you are returning it?

Customer: Well, it was just a little larger than I needed.

Clerk: I see. Maybe you should consider the Gelding instead of the Stallion. I just happen to have one right here.

Customer: That's great!

Clerk: Would you like me to box it up?

Customer: No, I'll where it out.

Clerk: Thank you. Come again. (to Joe his assistant: Joe, get me the Windex.)

Customer: (To buddy as they leave): Maybe I should have told him the aids test came back positive?

Buddy: Nah, they burn them when they get returned.

Clerk to Customer 2: Welcome! How may I help you?

Customer 2: Yes, I am looking for a vibrating dildo.

Clerk: Well, I just got this Stallion in today.

Customer 2: That's great! I'll take it.

cptpnvgk: One size larger than the Stallion

Ginamonster said...

I didn't say I was going to use it, I kept if for the pure sake of good practical jokes.