Thursday, December 29, 2005

New Years

Throughout the year, I often stop to contimplate where I was 365 days ago. The thing that sticks out most in my head is that at this time last year, I was excited to be moving into a house (soon) and nervous to go redeem my "gift card" with E. So much has changed for me this year. Neither the house or E worked out! Funny how much your life can change in a year.

This year, although I have a lot of options, what I really want is to spend my New Years with T. That won't be happening, and even if it did, it would be a platonic evening, not the romantic reunion I like to wish for. However, I am reminded of New Years 3 years ago, when I was stuck on another man, one far less suitable. The ensuing New Years evening was one of those strange surreal times that I have a hard time believing that I was involved with. This man plays a part in several of these surreal times, which is one of the reasons that I understand why he was so bad for me.

I know I have mentioned several times S, who I found unbelievably handsome, who sparked my breakup with D (through no fault of anyone, it was time for us to be over, meeting S was only a catalyst), who pulled a fade away, who I held on to for far too long, we ended up working together, and with whom the final end could have cost me my life. I will admit that the mention of his name still makes my world go flip, but I can smile and shake my head about it now. I'm glad that I am not likely to see him again, even though he turned out to be a good and loyal friend. I emphasize friend.

3 years ago on New Years, I had nothing to do. I could have spent it with my mom, but there would be no parties that year. So S invited me to go with him up north to party with his friends. Having met his friends and liked them, I agreed. Plus the three hour drive alone with him in his 'vette sounded like a dream come true.

All went well at the party except for the copious amounts of pot being smoked (I've never been a fan) until someone's girlfriend started picking fight. she tried with me (for talking to her man) and finally settled on a man who seemed nice, and had just gotten out of prison. The fight continued from the bar to home where it continued over my head in the spa. Then someone started playing with the shotgun. What goes up must come down, so I ended up curled in a little ball on the couch, and then was put to bed where I woke up a bit later to the sounds of someone having sex about 5 feet away. eew.

The moral of the story? It's better to stick to my own people. New Years with an ex isn't always a dream come true. Hope, although great for getting you through the tough times, can get you in some bad situations. this one could have been so much worse!

So for New Years this year, I will likely go to a party. maybe I will meet someone. Likely I won't. but I think it's important for me to go out, have a good time, and start 2006 without drama or heartache and with the knowlage that a year from now, my life will be completely different and I'll probably be glad I didn't spend this New Years with T. His friends are great, and I can guarantee there won't be any fights or pot. but that doesn't mean that with him is the right place for me. no matter what my heart thinks.


Charlie Foxxtrot said...

Hi. I stumbled across your blog by accident. I didn't read it all, but some of what I did read made me laugh out loud. You're a funny lady!

Ginamonster said...

thanks! I laugh at myself all day long, but I figured that it's because I know me. I'm glad I could make you laugh too.

Charlie Foxxtrot said...

You're very welcome. If you ever feel the overwhelming need to move to Alabama and get married, let me know. I can hook you up...

NWJR said...

Why does everyone lead a more interesting life than me? My dramas tend to be all head games and no fun.


jen said...

Happy New Year, Monster!! Enjoy it...whatever you do!!

Sensei Ern said...

Happy New Year everyone!

I will be spending my New Year's Eve preaching. Our church has a special service on New Year's Eve. It's called Watch Night".

On Watch Night, all of the men of the church who want to, can preach whatever they feel like preaching on. We will have ten speakers this year. It is very cool to see. Even if you never darken the door of a church on Christmas nor Easter, I recommend you find one on New Year's Eve, that is having a Watch Night. It will be worth it.

My message this year will be on the two undeiable truths, and one more that should be true. The two undeniables are that Jesus is God, and that the Bible is His Word. THe one that should be true is our conversation.

We should strive to always be truthful. Even when lieing would save us and others grief, it never works out as good as if we told the truth at the start.

For example, say Aunt Sadie wants to sing, but when she opens her mouth it is like fingers on a chalk board. But, to avoid hurting her feelings, everyone says she sounds great.

So each Year at the family reunion, you have to hear Sadie's version of Titantic theme. "Once more, you've opened the door..."UGH! My ears! Someone get an ice pick!