Thursday, December 22, 2005

Things I can't do by myself

I thought I was overdue for a list.

1. Lift heavy stuff. This should be a given, but it's not. I used to be strong, like an ox. my bulging back muscles would frighten me when I saw them in the mirror. Then, I wore myself out lifting heavy objects. now, about ten pounds is my limit. It's tough knowing what I used to be able to accomplish on my own. It's been even tougher having to learn to ask for help.

2. Hook up my electronic equipment (computer not included) I could probably learn, but frankly, I'd rather have a man come over and do it for me. sexist? yes. do I care? no. However, I can put my computer together because only the correct plugs go into the correct holes. kinda like sex. everything fits perfectly if you put it in the right hole.

3.Fix my car. newfangled contraption. I miss my good old 86 ford tempo.

4.Plumbing. every time I mess with a spigot, I make a big old mess. so I don't. I leave it for the professionals.

5. Electricity. Ever been zapped? I have. It took me years to get over my fear of plugging stuff in. I have also learned not to date electricians. but that is another story.

6.Kill things. even ants. I don't know what I would do if I came down with a case of the roaches(call my friend Bug Guy) it hurts me to know that my spiders will likely be killed when my landlords move back in

Oh! speaking of landlords, remember how I gave 30 days notice on the 1st? and how I won't be totally out of the house until tomorrow? yeah, we had to move stuff all around because they are having the carpets replaced um, today and tomorrow. and the phone company called and said, hey! I hear your moving! yeah, because they are trying to set up phone service right now. which remionds me, I need to call the trash people and cancel that service. Good god, can't they wait another week??? oh and hey, I wonder if anyone bothered to put the cans out yesterday because I sure didn't.
deep breath
I'm trying really hard not to be a pain in the ass here because, hey, isn't it better to take the high road? But honestly, we have until the first, they shoud give us until the first, and quit jumping the gun for goodness sake. oh how I would love to sneak a giant lump of coal into that woman's stocking!!

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