I'm ready to be blonde again. it's only been two days.
I spent lots of time with T this weekend. Once again, it came down to, let's not ruin our friendship. It is all very confusing. He announced that he should find me a boyfriend. It was tough not bursting into tears, but I controlled myself. I don't know why he thinks that is a good idea. I think it's a terrible idea. He even suggested internet dating, which, I explained that I had tried, but didn't like.
He says he doesn't want to lose my friendship because he likes talking to me so much, which only confuses me more because, isn't that a great base for having something more? How many people do you meet that you're attracted to, you can talk to, and you have a great many things you like to do together? I know I am holding on to something I should have let go of long ago. But my brain and heart have never had good communication.
Hurting, hurting, again. It could have been so much worse, I know. He doesn't want to hurt me, but he's ripping me apart.