Thursday, June 30, 2005

Another bossless day

Found this at LuckySpinster:

create your own personalized map of the USA

Wow. I need to get out more.

I also need to find the following restraunt:

Excellent food, reasonable price, good atmosphere without too much noise so there can be conversation.

I'm taking T out to dinner next week for his "I'm not celebrating my birthday" birthday. I am doing this with the full understanding that I will likely go home crying.(He is not mean, but if he doesn't say he would like to see me again or something to that effect, it will break my heart.) I am doing this with the understanding that if I go home crying, I will have to end our friendship because it hurts me too much. I had hoped that I was bigger, better, stronger than that. but apparently I am not. And if there is no indication next week of a possibility for the future, then I know I have to count my losses, gather my pride and move on. Which means that I can't have any contact since every email gives me hope. And every misplaced hope turns into tears later. it's been nearly two months. We were only together for three. I should be done being weepy. I am not an emotional individual. Really, I should be quite over this by now.


Sargini said...

Good luck sweetheart. I sure hope you are doing this date with the frame of mind that your are an individual. I know I'm nobody to you but I think you are doing a mistake. If someone can't be willing to wait for you to come around to the idea of kids. They are not worthy of you. If you are not getting unconditional love it's not for you. You wont be happy for a lifetime. Than let it go. If you ever feel that I am stepping out of bounds with you let me know. I have one thing to say. Tighten up soilder!!! You are fighting this battle alone.

Ginamonster said...

We'll see. I agree with what you are saying, but remember also that he was one of the few who didn't say I would change my mind someday. He respected my choice when I said I wouldn't change my mind, then made his decisions based on that. He made it very clear that I should not have kids unless I want them.
Either way, I think I need tonight. for me. either closure or future.