Thursday, January 26, 2006

I told the truth. Am I a bitch?

the following letter appeared in my Friendster mailbox:

himanshu wrote:> Hi,
I am writing to inquire about possible romance/friends/activity partner/dating opportunities with you. I am extremely interested in pursuing a career in Love and I believe that I have the experience, skills, commitment, and knowledge needed for success in this industry. In addition to this, I have a proven ability to meet deadlines and produce quality results.
Currently I am pursuing MS in LOVE at San Diego State University and I have a 3.46 overall GPA. The last five years of my schooling have prepared me to propose a person like you. I have taken classes that have given me excellent knowledge of love languages such as Love at first sight, Proposing first time, First Kiss, Shopping for girls etc and have learned the fundamentals of sex, party, love, kiss, etc. All of which are extremely useful skills in this industry.
Currently, I am 24, very much male and single and i am responsible to find a partner for myself. In my previous jobs at San Diego State University I worked as Graduate Assistant to Prof. XYZ for Love & Love Communication where I helped his students to discover love. I also learned the value of good eye communication while working for Dr. ZZZ as graduate assistant for Importance of eye Communication.
I would really like it if I could have the opportunity to speak or correspond with you through phone or e-mail as soon as possible; my cell phone number is xxxxxxxx I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,> Jai (* PS: If you are already dating/seeing someone else then either update ur profile or break ur relation so that you can date me)

To which I replied:

Dear Jai,
Thank you for submitting your resume. While I found it rather impressive in the areas of section E (English Skills) and Section C (Creativity) of my hiring code, I found insufficient items in Section I (Interests and hobbies) and Section A (Attraction). However, given your proficiancy in Section H (Humor) combined with your aforementioned experience in Section C, I would like to invite you to continue to do business as a consultant under Section F (Friend)


NWJR said...

His cover letter contained a sentence fragment ("All of which are extremely useful skills in this industry."). I would have tossed that letter in the circular file if I were a prospective employer.

But that's just me.


Ginamonster said...

I noticed it too, but since I was already planning to reject it, I thought I'd at least play along. Plus, my grammer isn't always so good (see spelling) so I try to forgive others thier minor transgressions.