Talking on the phone last night with Guy (he's not really "new guy", I mean we haven't even met yet, and well, read on) we got in to a conversation about Alchohol and he admitted to me that what he really prefers most of all, I mean more than alchohol, which he doesn't drink that often, is a little bit o'weed once in awhile. and I thought, oh. well.
Not that he isn't still a very nice guy, and not that I haven't in the past gotten over some of my usual deal breakers when encountering a nice, attractive man, but this is one that I don't feel as though I can overlook.
Here's the thing. I don't do drugs. And while I can accept that there are people who do, I am not comfortable having them around me. My father is a drug addict, and, I could lose my job if I don't pass a piss test.
So here's what I imagined in my little head after I got off the phone with Guy last night.
We meet in person and like each other enough to date. (he wants to go to dinner Saturday).
A) He promises not to smoke it around me. But I show up at his house and he is just finished/still passing the joint/obviously high. Instant discomfort for me, and he feels badly for making me uncomfortable. Or, we're out camping with his friends and someone has some, he wants to do it, but "can't" because I am there, I become "that" girlfriend (you know the one everyone hates because she cramps his style) and he feels a little resentful that I am there because he is not free to imbibe.
B) He promises to quit. I am not the kind of woman to try and change a man. This is something he likes to do and there would be a little bit of tension between us as a result. Eventually, he sneaks a puff, which will lead to him lying about it or me losing trust in his word. Among other things.
I think, although he could be the man of my dreams, that this is just not worth getting involved. Sure, I can be his friend, we can go camping/to magic mountain/dinner/whatever*. but I just don't think I should get involved with someone who enjoys something I am this adamantly against.
*Whatever does not include sex. Or kissing, or petting, etc.
I just need to have the courage to tell him these things right away, because I don't wish to lead him on. He's a nice guy and deserves happiness.