Saturday, January 21, 2006


(Confuzzled is a word I have borrowed from my young cousin Sierra. She's a really neat kid. I wish I knew her better)

There have only been three times in my life that I can recall someone telling me that they don't want to be my friend anymore. Sure, friends have come and gone for various reason over the years, and it has always been a bit sad when I have realized that a person I was previously close to will no longer be a part of my regularly scheduled program. I have come to accept that this is how life is, and that it is a part of growing. The first time, I was in 3rd grade and a girl, Natalia, had a new friend who wanted something I had. When I refused to give up my prize, she announced that if I didn't, she wouldn't be my friend anymore. That was the end of Natalia. The second, I have discussed with you as happening a year ago with C, with whom I am back on friendly terms.

The third happened a couple of days agoo when I was reading one of my regular blog reads and I came accross an entry that discussed how the person's blog to blog friendship with me was now over, as we had disagreed. This came as a surprise to me as I hadn't realized that I had ended the friendship. Silly you, he said, I don't want to be your friend anymore. (those were not his exact words, but close enough) He recieved my answer which was, I'm sorry to hear that, best of life to you, you won't hear from me again.

People, as a rule, disagree. We can't all have the same opinion about everything, debate teachers would be out of a job. I regret losing this friend, although his comments had become a bit disturbing and angry, but if it is his desision to end our blog relationship, so be it. I find it sad that one disagreement with his rather firm belief should cause such an extreme response, however, it would be unfair of me to disregard his feelings on the matter as important to him. So goodbye to that person, by his choice, I have removed him from my sidebar and will delete him from my favorites on monday. Sometimes, I guess we can't all just get along.

on a side note, I know that there are many of you who I have not added to my sidebar even though I read your blogs every day. I will try to get those put on there Monday. I am not promising anything because I do have a lot of work to do. but I will try. be well and have a great weekend.


Gary said...

You are always welcome at my blog whether you agree or disagree with me. In fact, I enjoy it when I have a diversity of opinion. I have even had people question decisions I have made, and I welcome that too. Sounds to me like your friend is a bit too sensitive.

Sensei Ern said...

GM, I sure I did not miscommunicate something to you. I am your friend, as long as you want me to be. We disagree a lot, but we get along because are civil and respect each other's opinions.

Charlie Foxxtrot said...

This isn't *really* related to your post (but kind of it is).

It is becoming apparent to me that the people whose blogs I read on a regular basis are the people I *know* better than anybody. And I type this with full knowledge that most posts are premeditated and carefully edited to present the image the author wants to present to the world. But hey, don't we all behave that way in real life as well? Some of us just do a better job of pulling it off.

Its rare that I'll sit down and have a discussion with one of my *real life friends* (RLF's?, Non-virtual friends?) and have a discussion anywhere approaching the level of intimacy I read in your's and other's blogs or post in my own.

I guess it's because we *assume* we can share our weaknesses and vulnerabilities here without the usual repercussions?

How sad is that?

NWJR said...

My blogger "friends" have been more loyal to me (and, probably, me to them) than my real-life acquaintances.

I blogged in excruciating detail about this some time ago, but here's the short story: after a series of questionable personal decisions a while back, virtually all of my "friends" abandoned me, often without knowing the full truth of my circumstance. It was then that I realized the true meaning of friendship.

As sensei ern said, as long as thing are civil, there's always room for disagreement. When misunderstandings and disagreements take on a vituperative and mean tone, though, it's time to move on.

Ginamonster said...

All opinions are welcome here, and I don't think I have ever deleted a non-spam comment, even though I was accused of that too. Sad.

Gary, Charlie, and nwjr, Thank you. You honor me with your presence.

Sensei, over the last couple of years you and I have had some amazing conversations. You know that I treasure and respect your opinion. I may not agree with it, but I don't think you have ever expected me to. It wasn't you I was speaking of, if your link accidentally got deleted, it was truly an accident. Of course, I have not updated your link to the MySpace account...oops. (you also honor me with your presence, I just had more to say to you)

I share myself here without worry of reprocussions. and I believe that the people who like me for who I am, not who they think I should be will continue to visit me. And yes, there are things I share here that I don't share with my RLF. Blogging gives me a sense of being intimate without being completely known. it's a freedom I enjoy, and I enjoy it of all of you too.