Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Announcement:

I would just like to state, right here, right now, that English is the National Language of the United States of America. Learn it. If you want to be bilingual, great! My great Grandmother read and wrote in both English and Spanish despite the fact that she dropped out of school in first grade to help her family. But honestly, the fathers of this country declared the national language to be English. Get over it. Learn it, move on. Thank you.

No Sensai Ern, I will not turn Republican.

2 comments:

Sensei Ern said...

My brother, Dan the redneck...(I have names for all my siblings, starting from oldest to youngest: Dean the Stoner, Betty the Confused, Mark the Harley Rider, Mike the Geek, (me) Ernie the Comedian, and Dan the Redneck)...anyway, Dan the Redneck came out to DC to visit me. I took him out to the beach because he had never seen the ocean.

At a shop he bought a t-shirt that really exposed his true redneck nature. He wore it proudly, all day.

When we got back to DC, we went out to eat, at an authentic Cuban restaurant. So we are eating and I look up to read his shirt..."Welcome to America. Now, SPEAK ENGLISH!"

"Hey, Dan, read you shirt."

"Yeah, so."

"Do you se anyone here that looks even half American?"

He turned so pale he became a whiteneck for the first time in his life. I escorted him to the bathroom where he could change his shirt inside out.

After we got home, he had an epiphany, "You know, Ern. I didn't have nothin' to worry about. Them people couldn't read English anyways."

smqler: bite-sized hor-deuvers served at the dollar store

NWJR said...

Well, as long as you don't turn Republican, we'll get along just fine!