So my coworker comes to me today to tell me that there's a really nice guy that is a vendor here who is recently divorced, and hey, how's about him.

I replied that he does seem to be very nice, and that he's looking a lot thinner lately, and that if he continues his downward trend, I might be interested.

She could not believe how shallow I was being. She said it should be about brains and personality, and not about looks.

I see it this way. It's looks that initially attract us to someone. Then, the rest is important. This guy in question was not ugly before. I just tend to be attracted to skinny men. It's how I am wired. I would never tell a man I am not interested in him because of his weight, that would be cruel. I am always happy to make a new friend. I also recognise that there are likely men out there who see me and think, "she would be attractive to me if she lost a few pounds" I don't want them to tell me that, but I know it is true.

So perhapsI am being shallow by temporarily dismissing this gentleman. but I also don't think it would be right to go out with him knowing that I am not attracted to him. I did that this year already and it felt like crap.

Kind of a moot point anyway considering he's never approached me for anything. Maybe he's waiting until I drop a few more pounds!