Monday, October 10, 2005

Good weekend

I had a good weekend.
Went to my cousin's wedding, reconnected with some family, got a Daddy update, I am supposed to pray for him to get better, but I can't seem to pray empty prayers for someone I've lost hope for. I know there is still a glimmer in there, and that I should nurture it. but I can't seem to do it. is it bad that I would rather someone else pray for my father? is it bad that I can't bring myself to hope for him to get healthy anymore? I want him to, I really do. but I feel like I would be lying to god and myself by forcing prayers that don't come from my heart. I hate knowing that I've given up on him. At least I know he's alive.


jen said...

You can only do what feels right for you. And if an empty prayer isn't about this:

What you just wrote, how you want him to get better, well, that's a prayer. You are not wishing bad on him. But the fact is, sometimes the best prayer is the one we never make. We know in our hearts and our minds, and that has to be enough.

Ginamonster said...

Sometimes I wonder if my little glimmer of hope isn't precisely what is keeping him alive. Thanks, Jen, as always.

jen said...

It could be that keep the glimmer. That is more than enough.