Monday, December 11, 2006

No cutisie name

I gathered my courage and called Ben to tell him that I was cancelling our outing on Wendesday. it was hard to do. I told him the truth. That I didn't feel we were compatible and that it just didn't click for me. I also told him I wasn't ready to be dating. When he asked if anything happened recently my reply was, "Not necessarily", which might be a stretch, but wasn't a deliberate lie. I didn't want to talk about it. I told him I had pulled my profile, that I am just going to stay home and knit. Whch is true.

I feel bad that he bought a whole pile of soap. i am tempted to not cash the check. But I have to think of it as a business transaction, not something with emotional attachments. I hope he sees it the same way.

I had the opportunity to use work as an excuse. One of the girls called me and asked to switch shifts. I told her I would call her back after I talked to Ben. Because I didn't want to use an excuse, I wanted to be truthful. I'm glad I was.

He's a nice fellow. I truly do wish him the best. I don't think I am the best. Not for him anyway.

And dating? no thank you. I thought it would be fun. an adventure. but I found that there is too much drama. Too many questions, too much suspense. I never was one for suspense. Thanks, I'll go back to working on me.


Chickie said...

Life is too short to waste on meaningless dates. When I was dating, I used to feel bad about telling someone that I didn't want to see them again but decided it was nicer than stringing them along. I went dateless for awhile because it was easier than dealing with others.

Anonymous said...

well, i think that sometimes when your heart tells you to do something you have to do it. i'm glad you listened, and hope that knitting brings you epiphanies, if not relaxation or a nice scarf, or sweater. :)


CG said...

Awesome! That is great that you were honest with yourself as well as Ben. You really should be proud of yourself.

I hope you can enjoy your "me time".