I gathered my courage and called Ben to tell him that I was cancelling our outing on Wendesday. it was hard to do. I told him the truth. That I didn't feel we were compatible and that it just didn't click for me. I also told him I wasn't ready to be dating. When he asked if anything happened recently my reply was, "Not necessarily", which might be a stretch, but wasn't a deliberate lie. I didn't want to talk about it. I told him I had pulled my profile, that I am just going to stay home and knit. Whch is true.
I feel bad that he bought a whole pile of soap. i am tempted to not cash the check. But I have to think of it as a business transaction, not something with emotional attachments. I hope he sees it the same way.
I had the opportunity to use work as an excuse. One of the girls called me and asked to switch shifts. I told her I would call her back after I talked to Ben. Because I didn't want to use an excuse, I wanted to be truthful. I'm glad I was.
He's a nice fellow. I truly do wish him the best. I don't think I am the best. Not for him anyway.
And dating? no thank you. I thought it would be fun. an adventure. but I found that there is too much drama. Too many questions, too much suspense. I never was one for suspense. Thanks, I'll go back to working on me.