As though all of my madness started in earnest (although I think i have been working up to it for awhile) when I signed up for Match.com and started looking to date again. So I'm going to say that my sister was right. I am not ready to date again, despite the amount of time that has passed, and I cancelled my membership and hid my portrait. I feel better already.
Tomorrow I need to call yesterday's date and let him know that I am not interested and cancel our outing for wendesday. I don't see any reason to go, I know how I feel. This has helped me to better understand why Diver Dan didn't give me one more chance to make a good impression. He knew. And I feel better understanding that. I would email, but that seems like a cop out. A way to hide behind my ability with the written word. (If ever you think that I might be ineloquent in writing, you have never spoken to me in person.) Courage. All I need is courage.
I'll keep my crush on my favorite eye candy. I doubt it will go anywhere despite my coworker telling a mutual aquaintence that he should hook us up. (I was mortified) But it is harmless and helps me to learn to speak with men I am attracted to. Which is a good thing.
The rest will heal with time.