Sunday, December 10, 2006

It seems to me,

As though all of my madness started in earnest (although I think i have been working up to it for awhile) when I signed up for and started looking to date again. So I'm going to say that my sister was right. I am not ready to date again, despite the amount of time that has passed, and I cancelled my membership and hid my portrait. I feel better already.

Tomorrow I need to call yesterday's date and let him know that I am not interested and cancel our outing for wendesday. I don't see any reason to go, I know how I feel. This has helped me to better understand why Diver Dan didn't give me one more chance to make a good impression. He knew. And I feel better understanding that. I would email, but that seems like a cop out. A way to hide behind my ability with the written word. (If ever you think that I might be ineloquent in writing, you have never spoken to me in person.) Courage. All I need is courage.

I'll keep my crush on my favorite eye candy. I doubt it will go anywhere despite my coworker telling a mutual aquaintence that he should hook us up. (I was mortified) But it is harmless and helps me to learn to speak with men I am attracted to. Which is a good thing.

The rest will heal with time.


Gary said...

I have been thinking about courage lately, and I think that often courage and confidence are the same thing. So maybe what you need is confidence.

By the way, you may be inarticulate in person, but definately not in your writing. You have one of the best blogs that I know of. And I have been to a ton of blogs.

Ginamonster said...

Thank you Gary.

In the movie "Princess Diaries" the main charactor readsa letter from her father which has this little bit of wisdom:

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the knowlage that something is more important than fear.

That popped into my head as soon as I read your post and I think that the important thing right now? Is to send Ben on his way so that he can meet someone who is interested.