Monday, August 08, 2005

Dear Lady next to me at the funeral Friday,

Hi. I realize we have not met. That you have never seen me around the neighborhood or in Church before. You may wonder why, if this is the case, I am dressed so well in my suit, heels and updo, since I must not know that man very well if you have never seen me before. The guy up there was a business associate. I dress like this for work. Because I respected and liked him so much, I am missing work to pay my respects to him and to support his family. That said, the following is a message to you.

Please stop staring at me. You may be staring because I am not singing hymmns with the rest of the congragation. That is because as a non-church going pagan individual, I don't know the song. I don't want to know the song because I find contemporary hymns repetitive and annoying. The melodies do not speak to me. tey do not lift my heart and make me think of God, they make me quietly beg for it to be over so I can start the process of getting the mindless droning out of my head. Had you been singing Amazing Grace, you would have benefitted from all the (two) years of vocal coaching I cleaned house to pay for. So quit staring and mind your own business. This isn't about me, it's about that 47 year old man who fell through his roof last week that we will all miss terribly.

1 comment:

Sargini said...

hahahahaahaha

non-church going pagan individual
man you are more and more like me every day. I could really get a likin' to a gal like you.