Today was the first day of my new job. I made an impression of the usual sort.
It all started, I think, when I went to bed last night. I didn't sleep. I tried to sleep. I just didn't. So when my alarm went off this morning, I didn't fight getting up. (I HATE getting up in the morning.)
It bears mentioning that I was dog sitting all weekend so I didn't have a whole lot of options when it comes to the next phase of my story.
I slid into my new clothes. Pants first, as usual. They were SEVERAL sizes too large. Several. This is what happens when you try on one pair at the store and then buy several others in the same size without trying them on. I didn't have a belt. I didn't have a safety pin. I tried to borrow one but there weren't any. I didn't have any other pants other than the jeans I wore the day before. I was told that I would be best in Business Casual. My polo shirt was the only thing holding my pants up when I arrived at work.
On the way, I debated stopping for a belt. Pins. Anything. But I didn't want to risk being late on my first day. I was 15 minutes early.
I arrived to find everyone in jeans. I asked my boss if I could change into my other pants. He looked a bit confused, (who wears ill fitting pants?) but was okay with it. I explained that I didn't leave from my house that morning-because I was dog sitting ("oh. dog sitting" says he)
Once I was in my well fitting jeans I was much happier. I only have to pull them up sometimes. I've lost 8 pounds since I moved here. Three since I was fired. I love what not eating casino food and skating is doing for me.
The rest of my day went really well. People are very nice. I fear that working there will be bad for my pet habit, especially when they have adoption day, but I remind myself that I am more likely to consider the long term cost of pet ownership, or, as the company says, pet parenting.
4:30 rolled around and I packed up to go. But where are my keys? I left them in the bathroom when I changed my pants. They were not in the bathroom anymore. I was not as embarrassed as I thought I would be when they announced the following on the PA:
"Anyone who has seen a set of keys with a pig on them please call extension #XXXX. That's a set of keys with a pink pig on them"
I continued to look for them. Loudly. I'm not very good at subtle. One of the office type men folk overheard and indicated that he had my keys but that I would need to describe them.
"They have a pink pig on them that goes *snort snort snort snort*" (yes. I made snorting noises at my new coworkers.)
One looked at me funny. "How does that go?"
*snort snort snort snort*
I got my keys back. Tomorrow should be interesting.