Monday, August 13, 2007

It was time

I took a trip to San Diego this weekend to be in Bug Guy's wedding. I didn't end up performing the ceremony, only played bridesmaid, which was ok, although a little disappointing because I really worked hard on their vows. I'm thinking that I will give them to them anyway, because I liked what I wrote so much.

It was wonderful to spend time with my mom, and my grandmother happened to be in town as well. Seester popped in because the Chargers were playing, and Girl Roomie came down and we all got pedicures. It couldn't have been better, except for the part where I had to go home. Especially hard was the part where Girl Roomie gave me a present she made, a little scrapbook with all my friends in it. There were even pictures of us at the house. I will keep it at my desk for when I need a smile.

I wasn't expecting one little thing in my lovely weekend.

I saw my father. I didn't have to, I could have chosen not to go, but I knew that going was the right thing to do, even though it wasn't the easy way. (Have you ever noticed that the right way is rarely the easy way?) He needed gas money so he could go to a job interview. since Seester wssan't going to make it into town in time, my mom took him the money. I chose to go.

He actually looks really good. We all had a good conversation, and it felt good to hug him. I took him by surprise when I mentioned that I had moved to Reno. I think it upset him a bit that I moved without telling him. I didn't really see how I should be expected to. After all, I hadn't seen him in nearly 4 years.

the most important part though, was the part where he held me tight and whispered into my ear,

"I'm sorry"

I knew how hard it was for him to say so. And I knew that I had to tell him,

"I forgive you"

The moment the words, which felt empty as they welled up in my throat, passed through my lips, I realized that I meant it.


Sensei Ern said...

Often, "I'm sorry," is only a pressure release valve used by manipulators to allow the tension to relax enough for their next escapade. While others might view the maintaining of your guard to be a sign that you truly do not forgive, it really is a sign you do not forget.

Whoever said, "Forgive and forget," must have been hiding something. Forgiving is fine. Forgetting isn't.

As far as I am able, I find no verse of Scripture that calls for us to forget actions against us. In fact we are cautioned to remember so that acts of offense are not taken against us again.

Also, those who have committed an offense are told by God to remember their own offenses. We, as the receiver of an offense need to remember, because often, the offender remembers their offense so long as it is unforgiven, then once that is received, they forget it as though it never happened, and are insensed when we are hurt doubly the next time the commit the same offense.

Someone might quote verses where God says He remembers our sin no more. That is because He is God, and can both change the person and see the heart as to whether the offender has true repentance, never to commit the offense again.

Until we can effectively change another, and see their true heart, we must remember.

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

Oh my gosh, the part with your dad totally made me all choked up. I think that is really amazing. I hope that things move in a positive direction.