Thursday, August 09, 2007

Bound

I think it's safe to say that I lead a strange life. I recently moved to a city I had never been to, where I only knew one person. I currently live with two cowboys. Both 50. Both, at night tend to be drunk.

Tonight is a quiet night. Last night, not so much. I guess it depends on if they're drinking whisky and Dr Pepper, Rum and Coke, or beer. They seem to get a lot louder with the liquor.

Last night it was rum and coke. I never really see them buy the hard stuff, it only appears. If one doesn't pick something up at night, the other does. The volume goes up, and on work nights, I just want them to be done so I can go to sleep. they are not violent, not out of hand. Just loud. Last night, they were loud enough to wake me from my slumber. I had trouble going back to sleep after that.

I've never really liked drunkin conversation. Things get said that are better left unsaid. words slip out that in sober times would remain behind locked lips. I know they are really in their cups when they start arguing about which one is my dad and who loves me more. They are good men. But I like the sober nights best.

I need to get out on my own. Laying awake listening to them talk late into the night, or waking because one has fallen asleep with the TV on (I can hear it through my door sometimes) I am reminded that I like living alone. But I am fortunate, so fortunate. To live for free and have my own room. Huge dinners every night. I feel bad complaining, even to myself. I would never say anything. I cannot judge what others do with their spare time, it is not my stone to cast.

And I remain. it will be several months before I feel on my feet enough to move out. Several paychecks. I must be diligent and save them. I pray for the opportunity to move into a house. My house. But I will gladly settle for an apartment of my own. In the meantime, I am greatful. And I try to sleep through the noise. I have so much to be greatful for.

There is no turning back. I will not complain. I'm glad to be heading south for the weekend. Bug Guy's wedding is Saturday and I will be staying with my mom. I miss her. I plan to get some sleep.

4 comments:

Sensei Ern said...

I pray God watches over you. How eerie how this part of our lives parallel.

My one room has three doors. On to the right side of the house. One to the left side, and one into the kitchen of the landlord's area. All three have locks, but I am not very confident in two of them. So, I prop two doors with heavy stuff, and deadbolt the third.

I put noisy stuff near the door so that if someone does try to enter, I will wake up. I keep my keys and my pocket knife tied around my foot so if I need to defend myself, it is handy, yet hangs over the side of the bed so that I don't roll over on them.

I would put them on the night stand beside my bed, but I am sure I would knock them to the floor and not be able to find them if I did that.

Rich | Championable said...

Wow. That sounds really disconcerting. I wish you the best, man.

dangitdoug said...

Keep your chin up. Life gets a little scary sometimes, yes. But then without that part of life the good times would not seem as special. I know you are going to be an incredible success there.

As Roz said in Monsters Inc., "I'm watching you, Always watching!"

Be good Gina

Doug K

Ginamonster said...

Sensei, I pray for a positive change in your situation.

Rich, I really do live a chamed life. Few tarnishes here and there, but chamed. I think I am simply reminded not to get comfortable, that this is not permenant.

Doug, I totally agree. And the best part is, that I can hear Roz in my head. I'm always good.