dilemma

We should all have these struggles, really.

My mom has promised me a cruise for my 30th birthday. Originally, she was going to use the free one that she obtained when she bought into some kind of timeshare thing that she is now thinking might be a little fishy. Being that she just had to book the cruise, not pay additional for it, I was all over it. Since she is thinking it may have been a scam, she is looking at other options. (I would be ok with cancelling the cruise idea being as she may have to pay out of pocket for it and that's A LOT)

This morning she called and asked me if I wouldn't be interested in going on a Blues Cruise. Same destination, all Bluesin', all the time. Apparently, her friends have been a couple of times and really enjoyed it. So I went to the website.

Now, I love music. It is one of the great joys I have. And Jazz? The old stuff? will have me toe tappin and singing along in no time. I know, from the pictures and descriptions, that this event would be one big party.

Except, I don't want one big party. When I think of cruises, I think of sunning on the deck, swimming in the pool. Talking to the bartender like on The Love Boat. it didn't help that this? looks like it would be right up Biker Bob's alley. All music, all the time. but I don't think it's mine. I prefer quiet. Maybe a dinner party, or whatever it is they do on ships. Music is my background, not my life. anymore. Once upon a time, I would have been thrilled at the opportunity. Once upon a time before I became completely disenchanted with show business all together. Before I dated the comedian. and the musician. Since both were pretty well obsessed, it quite a bit ruined it for me. I like the idea of attending a live music review, but when I am done, I want to leave. I don't want to have to hear everyone talking about it for days. I don't want my only entertainment to be live bands.

I fear this experience would be lost on me. I don't have an interest in going down and listening to music. I don't want to lay on a deck vibrating with bass. It doesn't sound leisurely.

Then again, I could be totally wrong. It could be spectacular. It could be the opportunity of a lifetime. And maybe it will be. Next time. This time though, I think I would rather have the quiet. Now I just have to tell my mom that I don't like her idea...

And then I feel spoiled. I should take whatever opportunities are handed me and appreciate them because opportunity is not a lengthy visitor. I should make the best of it because, well, I'm not supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth, right?

Except it's a week out of my life that I may not enjoy and it would be a huge waste of resources to go if I don't want to.

we should all have these dilemmas.