The shoe is kind of on the other foot.

I don't know if I have mentioned that over the last two years since we were in a realtionship and then it ended, that Cheese and I have remained friends. We don't hang out often but will occasionally go have lunch or dinner. He still has a key to my place so he can play with the dog whenever he wants (he rarely does) or wash his truck, and thankfully so because I've locked myself out of the house twice and given the wrong key to my mom once. Although we didn't work out romantically, I am lucky to still have him as a friend and I couldn't ask for a better one.

The guy I've been seeing (who I don't talk about except in extreme generalities for understandable reasons) thinks it's strange and a bit creepy that my ex has a key to my house, but is thankfully not the jealous type and doesn't say much about it.

Cheese's (fairly new) girlfriend decided that it was a good time to meet me. To which I readily agreed, since I never want to put someone in the position I was once in. The plan was to have a double date. TGIBS declined, as he doesn't want to meet my exes. I understand this. Just because I am friends doesn't mean he has to be and well, as long as he doesn't have a problem with the friendships, there's no reason to force the issue. There is no drama there; instead of a table for 4, it would be a table for three.

But apparently, without TGIBS, there was an issue. And they ended up breaking up over it. And that makes me feel sad even though I didn't really have anything to do with it. But I have been the jealous girlfriend watching my man spend time with someone he still cared about (I don't know what Cheese's feeling are towards me now, as far as I know, they are totally platonic.) and although I would gladly fade away rather than be the catalyst for a break up, that was never put on the table (as far as I know).

And although it's different because I was (am) willing to do whatever makes her comfortable (in his world her feelings should come first!), it kind of sucks that our friendship caused drama. I hope they are able to work it out.

Belated Bliss

I thought I missed out on sharing my bliss last week, but apparently, there's still a bit of time!

1. More good times with good friends
2. I started riding my bike a little last weekend! Just arond the neighborhood, but a little is more than nothing!
3. Good times, laughter and good company.
4. Lots of alone time which means I got a few projects done, read some books, and my house is pretty clean! In fact, I didn't even panic or scramble when someone new was coming over last night, I already knew it was clean enough. I know that the people who know me know that I tend towards clutter, and while this person is not one to judge, I always worry the first time someone new comes over. And sometimes when someone not-new comes over...

A heart full of happy

Friday os quickly becomming my favorite day because I get to share all the happy moments from my prior week. Thanks Liv Lane for continuing to host the Little Bliss List!

I took lots of blissful pictures, but I can't get them from here. :(

1. ROAD TRIP!! I packed up the dog last weekend and we went over the hill to visit my cousin. I got to hang out with my family, and Chango got to hang out with his friend Casey(dog)

2. When I got there, my nephew came out of his room to greet me as soon as he heard my voice. He may not hug me without prompt, he may not share his school triumphs or even have converstaions with me, (actually, he only communicated directly with me thiat weekend to puch me out of his favorite chair. I thought it was funny) but the fact that he came out of his room to greet me in his way told me he loves me.

3. HANDMADE! I headed over the hill to attend the Davis Whole Earth Festival. Although it was full of Hippies, and I was pretty granola'd out in the first hour or so, I always enjoy the opportunity to see and shop for well crafted handmade items. I scored a butter dish and a wind chime. Funny thing about the chime, I was attracted to it because it said "Bliss" and I wanted to use a picture of it here. I asked if I could take one, and the artist was okay with it. Then, I went ahead and bought it. The picture is still on my camera, of course.

4. Watching my nephew and his dad play. Listening to him laugh and giggle and watching him be tickled. That little boy (pre teen! Oh my goodness!!) is so fortunate to have a set of parents that love him. I know its not easy to have a special needs child.

5. Late night talks with my niece. She's a teen now and will start high school next year. She's so body concious. I enjoy the opportunity to sit down and help her to understand that she can't compare herself with the girls on TV, that her body is still changing, and how proud I am that she's boxing and developing good exercize habits, something my siblings and I never really did, and what a wonderful young lady she has grown to be. This is the second time we've been able to have these conversations, just the two of us after everyone has gone to bed, and I hope there are many more in the future.

6. Cupcakes!! One of my skating friends had a birthday this week and mentioned that she forgot to blow out a candle or have a birthday cake. So I made her cupcakes and held a tealight while everyone sang to her. This is the other reason I love derby.

There were so many more moments, too many to keep track of. Each one special in its own way. I can't wait to start counting up my moments for next week. Starting... NOW

Goodbye to another relic from my childhood

I hesitate to use the term relic, but I just thougt idol seemed too, worshippy.

Donna Summer has passed away.

I can't help but admit that I knew it would happen soon, but I still got a bit verklempt over it.

DONNA SUMMER DUDES! We totally exercized with my mom to her music. We sang to her in the car. We disco danced the night away. We had Donna Summer RECORDS!! Well, my mom did. And then they got stolen.

Donna Summer was part of my early childhood soundtrack. I will mourn her passing by buying her music and blasting it in my car. I am so very sad.

Things that need to fade out of popularity

Alright. That's it. I'm going to start a list of things that are so overdone, I don't want to think about them anymore. They need to go away. It's possible that they just need to be enjoyed quietly, but mostly, they need to go away.

1. Moustaches. Fake ones. They've been everywhere for a couple of years and it's time for them to be retired as a trend.  If you haven't noticed this, you have your head buried in the sand. Sure they were quirky at first. They stop being quirky when you see them at Wal Mart. And yes, I made moustaches on sticks and put them in my family's stockings year before last. THE YEAR BEFORE LAST. I'm so tired of them, I don't even want to moustachio the town anymore. And that is really sad.

2. "Keep Calm and ..." fuck you, I don't want to keep calm. If you google this, you will discover that you should keep calm and just about everything. Once again, quirky at first, nostalgic and all, but get over it already.

3. Bacon. This is on my list of things that should be enjoyed quietly. And, actually, it's the thing that inspired this list. Because I happened across a listing for bacon flavored lip balm. I have now seen Bacon flavored: lip balm, beer, vodka, soap. Things are shaped like bacin, scented like bacon. 10 years ago, it was amusing when I recieved a catalog that sold bacon band-aides. And Shower curtains. Once again, quirky then. Don't get me wrong. I love bacon. I eat it semi frequently. I would eat it ALL THE TIME if I wasn't just a little bit health concious. Suddenly, we seem to want bacon everywhere. We want to eat it, drink it, and smell like it? I have a problem with that.

4. Hello Kitty. This one doesn't stick in my craw like the others, but she's everywhere. In your house, on your toast. it's ok if you're 10 (says the girl with a Mr Potato Head collection) but if you're sticking Miss White everywhere and you're in your thirties, you might need counseling.

To be continued...

I might be overwhelmed again

it happens easily.

Yesterday I walked out of my house, shut the door, and realized that my keys were still inside. Thankfully, I have people who have keys. Thank you, Sean.

Today, I put my pants on backwards.

But I remembered to grab my keys!!

Horoscope

I think I misspelled that. I don't really care.

Meanwhile,

For all my mystical silliness and rocks and prayers, I don't really believe in western Astrology. Firstly, the decriptions of "Virgo" rarely actually describes me. The neatness and all that just don't seem to apply. I would be okay with myself if they did, but I don't have time for that sort of thing. I think my final straw with Astrology was when I went on two different first dates with men I met on the internet and one of the first things they asked when we sat down was, "Are you boring because you are a Virgo?"

Hardly. Assholes. I can think of a few people who would probably like it if I were a little more on the boring side, actually, but where is the fun in that??

However, I still read my Horoscope because I find it amusing. (at least I can be consistant in my misspellings, right?) The person who writes them for the local paper is notoriously bad. As in, I have thought about writing in to complain but they have gotten a little bit better. Instead of waxing nostalgic on the weather, she has been a little more interesting.

Today, it said this: "You will give a kindness to someone that you wish someone had given you"

and the first thing I thought was, gosh, I hope so.

My life? It overflows with kindness from others. Overflows. And I can only hope that I am giving back by being kind as well.

Mega Moonrise

Oh, the happy moments...

I sold some soap this week! Some at the Cinco De Mayo Celebration where I not only got to skate, but also sell soap, it was like two things I love collided. It was a little bit of a train wreck here and there but I think I pulled through since I will be doing it again in a couple of weeks!! I also gained what I hope will be a regular wholesale customer this week. She picked up two batches yesterday. It was nice to have to opportunity to chat with her for a little while too. YAY!

Then I sat in the truck, and had a drink (There was no driving in the future) while the giant moon rose over the hills to the East. I'm so glad we happened to be pointing East while that was going on. It was amazing.

Good food and better company.

Head on over to Liv Lane's place for more bliss sharing!

A Rare Book/Movie Discussion

I tend to be a bit behind on current movies because I don't often see them in the theater and I only recently got Netflix. I had a Blockbuster account, but I had some overdue fines and refused to pay them because I don't like it when robots call me and mispronounce my name. Last name would be fine. I get that. It's not english and a little difficult for some people to wrap their toungues around. But my FIRST name. It's pretty damn simple.

Anywho,

I tend to be a little behind on movies. The other day, I recieved Water For Elephants.

First, let me tell you that I loved the book. Loved it so much that I still have it and now that I think about it, I might read it again. I was really looking forward to seeing it translated to the big screen.

Second, let me tell you that I'm not really a fan of Robert Pattenson. While it's not his fault that the whole Twilight saga really pretty much sucks, he just didn't LOOK good all pale annd sparkly. If I were a creepy old lady, I'd go Team Jacob. But I'm not. I like men my own age.However, in this role, I was pleased with his appearance and his acting. He played a believeable role and helped me forget the whole Vampire nonsense. I may stop sneering when I hear his name.

Reese Witherspoon. I like her movies. I like that she pretty much keeps herself out of the tabloids. I alternate between thinking she's pretty and that she's weird looking. In this movie, she kind of fell on the side of the weird. But that works for a circus film. And holy crap, she looks great for having popped out a couple of kids. She wore those skimpy little outfits like there was no tomorrow. Made me want to stop eating and start exercising. (like that would ever happen...)

Overall, the movie didn't really disappoint... But it wasn't spectacular either. It didn't really delve into the relationships that developed between the Humans and Rosie like the book did. There were some really key emotions that got missed. Rosie was pushed to the background in a way that she wasn't in the book. In the book, she was a main charactor, whereas in the movie, she was just kind of there like the lions or the tigers. She should have been the star of the movie with the interactions between the people secondary.

I know. Hollywood. They give the crowds what they want. And there is only so much that can be done when bringing a book to screen. While I'm glad that I saw it, I understand why it didn't get the acclaim it could have had.

If you have not, do read the book.

Afternoon Giggles

This week has been kind of hectic as two of my worlds collide; I have a Roller Derby Event AND a soap booth at the same event. It's been busy and crazy and I have aprehension and I need new knee pads before tomorrow.

And a thousand other things.

Once again, Debbie came to my rescue as we headed down stairs for some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. We giggled and laughed all the way down the stairs and into the branch. We leaned on each other and laughed like drunk teenagers. I'm sure our patrons thought we were drunk, but even better, they saw us having fun at work. We laughed and giggled all the way back up the elevator to our desks.

True bliss at play.

I'll just plan my own damn marathon.

My coworker in the next cube, you know the one, with the rock garden, also likes to run. And by running I mean that she trains for marathons and actually does them.

I find this woman to be particularly inspireing because she isn'e like your typical marathon runner. When I think of marathon runners, I think of really skinny men in tiny, tiny shorts and socks and running shoes bursting through a ribbon with a look of well, a picture is worth a thousand words.

photo from http://www.oregonlive.com/

I don't think of Debby who looks like a normal person of her age and has a granddaughter on the way. She looks like I imagine I will look when I am her age. (I hope I also have her attitude.) She isn't old, just, you know, not 20 and musclebound. I don't think...

ANYWAY

Several months ago, she told me about the Nike Half marathon where women go and run around San Fransicso and handsome firemen present them with Tiffany's. Apaprently, this event is so huge you have to get into a lottery to hopefully get in. I think my cousin did it last year.

I thought about training for it but then I got Netflix.


Debby came around the corner today with her pouty face on. She didn't get in.

Now, I don't know how you could not want a Debby, but apparently there just isn't room for her to oogle some fireman and get sparklies. I like sparklies. They don't have to be Tiffany's, but I do like the color of the box.

So I have decided that i am going to host my own dang marathon. I'm going to have a marathon and hand out... sequined pasties.

Does anyone know how to host a marathon?

Ah. blissity bliss

Once again it's time for Liv Lane' Little Bliss list, where I recap happy moments from my week. Doing this has helped me so much in finding joy in the little things and keeping track of the happy moments instead of dwelling on drama.

Actually, I have been trying to not get involved in the drama. it's working a little bit

1. Thursday morning rainbows. I don't get to see a lot of rainbows up here in the high desert, so it's a treat to ge to. It's also a treat that at 12:30 in the afternoon the fog was still sitting on the sierras. I miss fog. The gentle way it kisses your skin. How it makes all the greens just a little bit greener...

Photo thank you to http://www.rgj.com/. this is the one. and it was lovely.

2. A text from my aunt who was experiencing her own rainbow down in Carson City, enjoying an early morning walk, and thinking of things that start with R.

3. Crab Feed on Saturday. I've never eaten so much crab in my whole life. Rumor has it, I ate more than anyone. And I wore it home. All that aside though, it was a wonderful time with some good company and I hope I get to do it again.

4. Defying Gravity. Since my knee has been hurting, I have thought it best that I stay off of my skates. Monday, while I stood there, reffing the nights scrimmage I realized that I don't really want to be ther eif I am not rolling. So Wednesday night, I forced myself to go, but allowed myself to skate. Gently. Not only that, but I did it for the joy. With my ipod in and Frank Sinatra playing. And then, I switched it to the Wicked Soundtrack and realized that for me, skating is my chance to fly. I turned it all the way up and grinned like an idiot and just, enjoyed the wind in my face while the girls stretched. Happily, my knee didn't hurt at all Thursday. YAY!!

5. Dinner with a friend who is moving. Buckeye Beefacke is a wonderful woman with whom I have had the opportunity to skate over the past couple of years. I cannot say enough nice things about her, and I am really going to miss her. Of all the people I have known, she is probably one of the most sensitive and genuinely kind. I wish her the best. I'm glad we got to have one more bloomin onion before she leaves.

A good week for smiles

Once again it's time for Liv Lanes's Little bliss list fun! I look forward to sharing my happiness with you every week (except when I don't) and hope you enjoy hearing about the little joys in my life. Collecting these moments throughout the week really helps me focus on the positive things in my life.

1. Soapy madness! I have a tendancy to fall short on things like wrapping and labelling my soap especially when life is busy. This winter, I made a bunch, wrapped enough to get me through a craft show, and then forgot about the rest. This week, I got all of it prewrapped (each bar of my soap is wrapped first in wax paper and then in "pretty" paper. This helps protect the soap and keeps any evaporating liquids from leaching through the pretty paper). Well, most of it anyway, I ran out of glue stick last night with two bars of lavender left. It feels really good to have gotten this done.

2. More soapy madness! There were a few bars laying around that had been left without labels so long that I couldn't remember what kind they were. I'm sure I could have figured it out, but I gave them away on facebook instead. I cleared some clutter off my shelf, and the people who got soap, semmed pretty excited about it. WIN!!

3. The power of positive thinking did NOT clean my kitchen last night, but elbow grease did!! I love a clean kitchen. It's all ready for me to use it.

4. I attribute positive thinking and a change in vocabulary to the fact that although I was in extreme pain on Monday after my little knee fall, I feel almost back to where I was last week pain-wise. Not totally healed, I still have pain, but not nearly what I thought. I have almost full range of motion and while I still can't bend it all the way under or kneel on it, why do I need to do that right now anyway? Positive thinking. Change in vocabulary. And a whole lot of tigerbalm.

5. Last night, my laptop started making a really funny noise. Alarmed, I picked it up and opened it and discovered that my sister was calling on Skype! It was great to talk to her and the girls and to see her husband's noggin in the picture as he kissed them all hello. I miss my family so much; it's great to have these wonderful tools so I can see them sometimes.

What is making you smile today?

The Power of Postive Thinking

Ever since I realized that I am not doing myself any good by using broken terminology to describe myself, I am amazed (again) at all the wonderful things that positive thinking is achieving for me.

And by "all the wonderful things" I mean that my knee is healing much faster this time and MAYBE I might be able to play Star Wars on the Kinnect sometime soon. But no skating until I get new knee pads and really not until the bout we have coming up. Because if I can't roll on that track, I may sit down and cry. I don't know if I have mentioned it yet today, but I am NOT a pretty crier. AND crying makes my nose run a lot and there's never a hankie around when I need one.

SO. Positive thinking. Lets see if it works...

I would like to bake this evening. Which I have been saying for like 3 weeks or something since I happened across this recipe, which I still have not made. But I did make scalloped potaoes, which I have been mistakenly calling potatoes au gratin but in my head it's Potatoes au Gracie because I replaced the ham with kilbasa and used nonfat milk because I didn't have any cream. I also meant to put broccoli in there but I forgot about it until it was too late. So did I also make eggs benedict except that I didn't follow the directions correctly so my hollandaise sauce was funky.  It needs a lot of work before I feed it to anyone else. NOT that I have been feeding anyone breakfast lately. So anyway, I have been wanting to bake something ever since I saw that and this,  neither of which have actually been made but I did buy buttermilk. I'm not sure if I need buttermilk, but I will check the recipes this time.

Positive thinking.

I am thinking positively that my kitchen will be clean when I get home. That the kitchen fairies will have done good work while I was at work and all those dirty dishes will be gone. Not from all that cooking I have been doing, I've been pretty lazy this week. And I'm a little depressed that I killed my muffin tin making these, or something like them, which are delicious. I've been eating them every day. Today I decided they needed a little bit of maple syrup but I didn't have any.

Muffin tin. that baked on egg is gonna come RIGHT OUT next time I try. And the Kitchen is going to be CLEAN when I get home... So I can make some more tastiness.

Did I mention the stuffed jalapenos? yeah, I'm mastering those too. I even bought breadcrumbs. The breadcrumbs will also come in handy the next time I decide to doctor some kraft mac and cheese because I have to be brutally honest here, the cheetoes I used as a topping last time were a very bad idea. In fact, I don't think I like cheetos anymore. Cheese balls and puffs on the other hand are fair game.

An unexpected goodbye

I am the kind of person who will occasionally wake up, get dressed, and put a rock in my pocket before I leave the house.

My reasons for this are sometimes spiritual and sometimes purely for the joy of having a rock in my pocket. I like rocks. Always have.

Having rediscovered a favorite the other night, I decided to pop my shiva lingum in my pocket yesterday and off I went, promptly forgetting about my pocket payload. (picture is from this website if you would like your very own sacred stone from india!!)

Fast forward to afternoon when, after sitting for a very long time, I decided to take a walk. Just as my coworker from the cube over walked by. I acctidentally bumped the rock in my pocket and was reminded that the coworker next door loves rocks like I do. So I decided to share.

I pulled the stone from my pocket, handed it to her to see, and she thanked me wholeheartedly! And in my mind I went CRAP!! I can't argue though, apparently, she was supposed to get that rock. And really, if there's anyone I would want to share my collection with, it's her. She loves it. She declared it a dinosaur egg and I suggested that it might hatch a pterodactyl. After all, it was her neighborhood that housed the burning pterodactyl last week. One never knows.

What I do know is that my favorite holy rock decided to move on today and I don't think it could have picked a better place to go.

Gimpy, No.

I reinjured my knee last night. In the usual way, doing what I have trained to do. It wasn't the manuver but the impact that hurt. I just can't slam my knee into the floor these days. At least not the right one.

It hurt a lot, but it hurt more to think that I'm going to have to be off skates for awhile longer while I allow it to heal. Last night was my first back to practice since the last time I hurt myself about a month ago.

In the process of talking it over with my wife though, I realized that in many ways my thought processes undermine my healing. I joke around about being clumsy. Accident prone. Injured all the time. Gimpy. And you know what? I am. Then I get better and Whoa! clumsy me, I am hurt again.

I have to stop. I have to stop being negative because I am making those things true. There's something else that is true. I am strong. I am healthy. I am a good healer.

Let's focus on that instead, shall we?

Friday Bliss list and some other things too

Oh my, it has been a busy couple of weeks. There have been a great many things to be blissed out about.

Last weekend I got to explore new places with a person I like to spend time with.

A little extra money came in and I was able to buy some new pants, spoil myself a little and get caught up on my bills

I also started tracking my spending so I can keep more of the money I make. I am notoriously bad about living from paycheck to paycheck. I don't have to. And as a grown up (sort of) I don't want to. I am amazed at how I nickle and dime myself out of a lot of money; stopping for snacks or potluck supplies or quick trips to the craft store (which I have largely stopped doing but still). Insane cravings fro Panda (crack) Express

I've been cooking a lot lately. Almost every day. And by cooking I mean from scratch, not out of a box or out of the freezer. It feels good to experiment with different recipes and think of ways that they can be improved. Plus, when I make my own food, I can sneak broccoli and spinach and such in there and make it healthier.

AN ORDER!! Awesome.


Funny, I was so busy remembering all the great things that I forgot what the other stuff was.

Multipliers

It's been a couple of weeks since I have particiapted in Liv Lane's little bliss list. And I have to say that those two weeks have been some of the most perfect and blissful times. It would take me all day to list out everything that has happened to make me smile, so I list what I can remember right now...

Watching the sunset and dancing in the kitchen.
My flowers are starting to bloom
I'm getting my house in order again
Planning trips
Spreading the joy

The dance party looked a little bit like this...

 

Being thankful every day for all the gifts, past present and future. I really am so very, very blessed

Copyright for the image above belongs to Bill Waterson. Thank you Bill, for all the wonderful smiles over the years.

So much to do, so little time!

I'm trying really hard to um... post at appropriate times. Which is part of why I haven't been posting.

I hope to get back to my little bliss list this week. I have had SO much bliss in the last couple weeks and its made me sad not to be able to tell you about it. My mom was in town and my house is clean (although there is a mystery smell. hm) I'm getting reorganized and prepared for the next phase of my life.

That sounds ominous. It's not. My tenure on the Reno Roller Girls Board of directors is coming to an end and so I will have one less hat to wear. I will still be the hed ref. I will still handle merchandise. But rather than pick up a different on-the-board thread, I'm going to focus on other things.

I'm going to catch up on the online artsy course I am taking. I'm a little behind on my homework. It's ok. I'm looking forward to catching up. Playing with my watercolors, even in a very simple manner was FUN.

Work has been pleasantly busy.

Other things are going well too.

And I am trying to follow the direction I recieved from the Universe the other day to be thankful ahead of time for the gifts I am given. Funny. amazing. its working.

A rare dream post

I don't generally share my dreams because they are never as interesting in the retelling as they were in the experience. Last night was a little different.

I dreamed that I was being stalked by a serial killer who was killing people just to terrorize me. He would send me pictures and newspaper clippings and body parts. Gooey body parts, not like, arms and legs and stuff. Sometimes, he would even kill the people in a manner wher I could see them die but I couldn't see where he was. Like the person who fell out of nowhere onto an iron fence in the middle of a party.

It was creepy. It was scary. It was graphic.

I really need to stop watching Dexter before bed.