Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Things that need to fade out of popularity

Alright. That's it. I'm going to start a list of things that are so overdone, I don't want to think about them anymore. They need to go away. It's possible that they just need to be enjoyed quietly, but mostly, they need to go away.

1. Moustaches. Fake ones. They've been everywhere for a couple of years and it's time for them to be retired as a trend.  If you haven't noticed this, you have your head buried in the sand. Sure they were quirky at first. They stop being quirky when you see them at Wal Mart. And yes, I made moustaches on sticks and put them in my family's stockings year before last. THE YEAR BEFORE LAST. I'm so tired of them, I don't even want to moustachio the town anymore. And that is really sad.

2. "Keep Calm and ..." fuck you, I don't want to keep calm. If you google this, you will discover that you should keep calm and just about everything. Once again, quirky at first, nostalgic and all, but get over it already.

3. Bacon. This is on my list of things that should be enjoyed quietly. And, actually, it's the thing that inspired this list. Because I happened across a listing for bacon flavored lip balm. I have now seen Bacon flavored: lip balm, beer, vodka, soap. Things are shaped like bacin, scented like bacon. 10 years ago, it was amusing when I recieved a catalog that sold bacon band-aides. And Shower curtains. Once again, quirky then. Don't get me wrong. I love bacon. I eat it semi frequently. I would eat it ALL THE TIME if I wasn't just a little bit health concious. Suddenly, we seem to want bacon everywhere. We want to eat it, drink it, and smell like it? I have a problem with that.

4. Hello Kitty. This one doesn't stick in my craw like the others, but she's everywhere. In your house, on your toast. it's ok if you're 10 (says the girl with a Mr Potato Head collection) but if you're sticking Miss White everywhere and you're in your thirties, you might need counseling.

To be continued...

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