I've been thinking lately about me.
Ok, I think about me all the time. When I'm not thinking about myself, I think about other people. And cupcakes. Or Whoopie Pies. Whatever.
The point is, that this year I have been thinking a lot about me and who I am and who I want to be. This is how I improve myself. I know I have a lot of room for improvement. I hope I always do. Part of this thinking about me is thinking about the girl I used to be. And the parts of her I would like to revive.
For example, I used to be a person who paid her bills as soon as they arrived. But more exciting than that, I used to be a doodler. and a little bit of a painter. Mostly because we had this really neat watercolor paper and I liked to paint butterflies on it. little fields of flowers and butterflies.
Then, at some point, I became a little self concious. then I grew into REALLY self concious. Suddenly, my doodles were not good enough. And I didn't know what to paint anymore. Then, dare I say? I was embarrassed?
No one made me that way, I did it to myself by thinking I was not good enough. But that doesn't really matter, does it? It doesn't matter who thinks I am a good enough doodler because I just like to doodle.
The day after I remembered that I am actually something of an artistic critter, I came across this blog. She's holding one of those expanding your artiness online workshop thingies.
For the first time I thought, "I should join in" then I thought maybe I shouldn't. But I did. Its going to be hard. But hopefully it will remind me that it doesn't matter what other people think. I need to be free to be me. I even made a doodle. not that kind, the drawring kind. and I even almost showed it to you. I tried anyway.
Growing. It's never easy.