Tuesday, January 06, 2009


It's amazing how quickly insecurity sets in and how much I want to pull into my shell like a turtle and scuttle away. How quickly I start telling myself that I can use extra time to focus on other things like business.

How quickly I feel like a bonehead when everything turns out okay and how fast I remember moments like these when they don't.

I'm worried at how hurt I am by the 12 yr olds admission that she wants her parents back together. I had been wandering around under the false assumption that she would be happy that her dad is happy. I know she is too young to have that level of maturity. But I'm not feeling logical right now.

As usual, a lack of communication makes me apprehensive. Which means I care more than I wanted to admit to myself.

Which means I will be hurt again if he decides to martyr himself for the kids; decide he shouldn't date because it takes his attention from them or because they don't want him to. They know of me as his "friend". I'm okay with that. But they're young, not stupid. And they are his world. Don't get me wrong, it would hurt to walk away too.

He's got a lot going on, a lot to take care of. So the logical part that screams through in times like these? is shaking her head and rolling her eyes. again. Because how many times have I blogged this post? And how many times will I continue to do so?


Shila Shila and Cult Jam said...


Me and my husband have been together 4yrs, and his son is 7yrs. His son still brings up that he wants his parents to get back together again.

It'll always hurt.


Buzz said...

You'll blog it as many times as it takes. And that's totally ok.

As for the post below...

The Bissel pet vac is. awesome. And it's no where near the price of the dyson. We have to vaccum every day too and that thing holds up like a champ as long as you empty the canister often.

And maybe take this time while you wait for your pup to really research and asess what you'd like breed wise? Something that will fit into your lifestyle, not change it, ect?

Hope things are better.


Ginamonster said...

thanks Shila. That helps.

Buzz, That's what I am doing. I know that part of a dog is it's training but I also have come to understand how they have ben bred to bring out certain traits. There's one in Incline Village I would like to meet. A Stratforshire Terrier named Lucky... But not until mid-february. I kind of hope he has been adopted by then! You know, for him...