Friday, February 03, 2006

Keep your gosh darn banana to yourself!

I'm not sure if I have ever shared the following information with you, but I must make the following statement in order for you to understand that you must be very careful where you leave your bananas.

I am allergic to bananas. Very allergic. I cannot touch them without developing what I refer to as banana lips. Banana lips occur when I have had contact with a stray banana. (I don't have to eat them, touching them will produce a reaction)The symptoms include tiny blisters on my mouth and swelling that is consistant with bad collegen injections. The last time I had a banana in my mouth (actually it was an accidental banana muffin, but the phrase banana in my mouth was too much to pass up) my tounge turned laffy tafffy purple.

That said, you would be amazed at how careless people are when disposing of this potentially toxic substance. I see banana peels left in parking lots, draped over fence posts, tossed carelessly on the side of hiking trails, and sometimes in very odd places.

Case in point, Brother needed to rent the movie "Pulp Fiction" last night so I took him to the video store for the following reasons:

1. My mother does not have a rental card because the place where she used to rent movies went out of business.
2. It was a homework thing
3. My mom tore ligaments in her foot surfing in Hawaii and has now been renames "Gimpy". she needed to go to bed last night as this came up as an issue (the homework) around 9:30.

So we went to the video store. And looked for the DVD. Brother finally asked about it when we couldn't find it, and the clerk told him they didn't have it. Apparently,almost all of ther Quentin Terintino DVD's have been stolen (and apparently this large chain store does not replace the stolen movies??) Stolen? for goodness sakes, stop stealing, and buy your stuff! (but that's another rant) She directed us to the Video Tape section and handed me the movie. I turned it over, as I am still astounded the rental stores still offer tapes. who watches tapes these days??Do you know what I foud smeared on the back of the tape? dried banana guts. all brown and shrively. What are they trying to do? Kill me?

Brother, being a good kid, took the movie from me to reduce my exposure. Who smears bananas on a movie? and what kind of store does not clean their merchandise?

I have only a few small blisters this morning and thankfully no swelling.

aparenlty I can be overcome with noodles and bananas.

5 comments:

Sensei Ern said...

Your mom surfs? Does she like the Ventures?

That would be so cool.

NWJR said...

Huh...huh...she said "banana in my mouth"...huh...huh...

Ginamonster said...

sensei, I'm not sure, but I grew up on The Beach Boys. She took a surfing lesson in Hawaii, she must have done well because she did stand up, when she stepped off, she hit coral. ow.

Rich, I'm so glad someone out there is as sick as I am!!

THW said...

That's nuts (about the banana thing.)

I get a similar, yet slightly reduced reaction to raw carrots. Apparently cooking the carrots removes whatever poisons are in raw carrots. So I can still enjoy carrot cake.

Ginamonster said...

phew, because carrot cake is yummy!