that's so sad!

Someone found be my searching "bunny picture with e.cuniculi" sadly, I don't think I was any help because other than the pus in his eye, Jack does not have any symptoms. but i don't think I have bragged yet that he's the best bunny ever because he takes his meds like a champ. Really, I don't even have to take him out of his cage, I just stick the syringe through and he eats the stuff on his own. good bunny. almost makes up for the poo he scatters all over.

um, duh...

Today, I've been gettingreally upset with the stupidity of others, but really, I'm throwing stones from a glass house. I can't really explain it except that well, I've spent enought time laughing at myself today that I have a bellyache. My poor boss. he kept trying to talk to me and all day I just ignored him.

What the F???

I don't often bring politics into my arena, and this IS the first I have heard of this so I am not going to pretend to be knowlagable about the situation, but I, in my ignorance can't see how this could be good:

"The annual conference was taking place in a capital enthralled by the political firestorm over government plans to approve takeover of operations at some terminals at six U.S. ports by a company owned by the United Arab Emirates government."

Not because it's an Arabic government, but because I don't think it's a good idea to allow our ports to be governed by a company owned by any country but the good 'ol US of A. even if the chief executive will be an American citizen

Maybe I am naieve to think that we, as business owners need to consider the ramifications of outsourcing? I know it's cheaper to get things done overseas, but we are undermining our own workforce. I went to a confrence a couple of months ago and they were very insistant that my data entry be sent to India. I am pleased that we are economically assisting third world countries by sending much needed work there, but here's an idea, how about a welfare work at home program?

Because I don't see how it makes sense to pay welfare recipiants out of the taxes we pay on our income while we save money by having the work performed in another country. don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to welfare, (when it is not abused) but there are many women sitting at home eating bon bons who could be asked to earn a bit of what they recieve every month doing something other than raising babies. I think there are a lot of stay at home moms who would love to be able to earn a little extra pocket money this way. My othermother used to do medical transcriptions while she babysat us. what an inspiration! (no, she was not on welfare)

Maybe I am being an ass again. Perhaps I will eat my words later, but I would rather pay Suzie Highschoolstudent minimum wage to enter my data, which would help her earn much needed job experience, than save a couple of bucks sending it to India. I'm just sayin.

Yesterday

I had like 20 zillion things I wanted to blog about, but today I can only think of two. dangit. they were deep too.


One:

I was an ass. A couple of months ago, I was upset with girl roomie because she skipped Bunco to attend a friend's mom's funeral. I questioned whether she even knew said friend's mom. Out loud. for all to hear. (she did know her. Well. I found out later)
Saturday, I attended the funeral of a friend's wife. I had never met her, but felt as though I should go to support my friend. While there, I realized that I had allowed my anger and frustration towards girl roomie at that time to override my senses and cause me to act like an ass. A huge ass. And I feel really bad about it. I know it was a growing experience, and I will hopefully think about it the next time assiness comes upon me, but in hindsight, I'm still an ass.

two:

The mall seems to bring out the worst in my attitude. I was there for maybe 20 minutes, and from one end to another, I started formulating an extensive list of pet peeves. Almost every one started with "people who" which only served to strenthen my feeling that the more I get to know them, the less I like people. Here they are:

1. People who use their phones in the bathroom (I don't want the person you are talking to listening to me pee)
2. People who walk really slow through crowded areas. (I always get stuck behind them. Slow traffic, move right!!)
3. People who shuffle thier feet (really. few other things grate on my nerves like the sound of scraping shoes)
4. People who do not yield for pedestrians. (In California, Pedestrians ALWAYS have the right of way)
5. People who drive so fast through parking lots that I have to leap out of the way in order not to get run over
6. People who walk down the center aisle of the parking lot and don't move over when they see ot hear you coming.

I'm cranky all over again just thinking about it.

Celebrities

I discovered Zach Braff's blog today. He seems like an interesting fellow. I was inspired by his post to comment, but first I had to read through the other 500 posts to make sure no one else had come up with my idea.

Almost all of them said the same thing. You are amazing. I love Scrubs. Let me have your baby. Good for you and Mandy, call me when you break up. I'm an amature film student...On and on and on. I think he actually said that he reads every comment.wow. You know this is something celebrities deal with all the time. My friend who has a bit of noteriety doesn't discuss the multitudes of emails he gets every day, but he has said that he's about 6 months behind answering them. If every one of them is anything like the comments on Zach's site, it's no wonder Dat doesn't answer them right away. There's only so often you can say, thank you for watching, thanks for the compliment, yes we are very happy. blah blah blah blah blah. I think I would stop wanting to read them after awhile.

Earth to freakazoids! the people you see on TV are charactors! I can tell you right now that Dat is totally different in person than he is on stage. Not in a bad way, he's a good guy. But either way, it's an act, folks. Sure, there are some elements of thier charactors in thier personality. Zach seems, from the short posts that I read, to be someone who would be fun and silly to hang out with. But I don't pretend to know him from one blog entry. He's just an actor i enjoy watching.

So now you might be wondering what I was inspired to write to him. Here it is in a nutshell, and by the way, I scanned every comment. I didn't see this mentioned anywhere eles. Sad.

"I can't believe that no one else thought to point out that if you drink the glow-stick juice, you might have glow in the dark twosies."

dangit. backfired!

Dear Rice Crispie Treats,
I know I made you, but I brought you in today so that all my visitors and boss would eat you. Then I wouldn't. But my plan backfired and I have eaten nearly the entire batch of you. Damn you and your marshmellowy crunchy goodness.

Maybe I have predudice

Actually we all do, some just spell it better than others. Mine is a little different than others.

Conversation came up last night regarding a party I will be attending on Sunday and the fact that there may be attractive men there. The down side is that any man there is likely to be a Christian because my cousin, who is throwing the party, is church going folk.

Let me say first of all, that I don't have a problem with Christians. Religion is a personal issue. We have discussed all this before. I am not adverse to dating a Christian. I just don't think one would want to date me. I am making assumptions, of course, and generally, I actually prefer to date outside my faith, but it seems to me that Christians are more comfortable being in a relationship with others of thier faith. There is nothing wrong with that. My predudice (at least if I am going to misspell it, I will try to do it the same way in the same article) is that I don't think that the men, should there be any single ones there, will be interested in me, based on my faith. And truly, I respect that.

In unrelated news, Bug guy met three men at the gym last night and sent them all to mySpace to check me out.

hee hee

So I was mapquesting a trip to visit my aunt and uncle, and I found the following places in CA that made me giggle.

Bagdad (too bad our soldiers aren't being sent there instead of the OTHER one)
Woody (hee hee hee)
Coalinga (just sounds dirty)
Los Banos (the bathroom???)
Yolo

I need a life.

Who we are

Jen, who must be watching a lot of Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, or at the very least is affected because I myself watch the movie just about every week and, well, we do share a brain, made an interesting coment on the last post.

No, not the one where she tells me to be strong (thank you) but the one where she says that we are all someone elses C, someone elses T, and someone elses Monster.

Because we are. You see, though all this, one of the things that screams at me, is that for all the C wants to be back with me, I want to be back with T. And just as he needs to understand that I have moved on and I don't want to retry, so does T want me to move on since he does not want to retry. There are parallels that cannot be denied. The lesson remains, even though it is hard to follow my own advice.

So Charlie, you may be someone'e T. You may also be someone's C. (wow, if that gets anymore complicated, I'm really going to confuse myself) I considered posting excerpts from the letters, but I feel as though it would be a cruelty to C to make public his feelings without his permission. It's bad enough that I discuss it openly on a forum he has access to if he wants it. who am I to expose his pain, verbatum? To expose his private letters?

I will say that he discusses our compatibility and reminds me of how well we got along. He tells me that he has grown and can appriciate me now. And it is partially this that makes it difficult to say no. However, I told him that although I was happy with him, I know now that what I want in a partner has changed, and that I haven't found my ideal man because my ideal man wants me too. I reminded him of how much he hurt me, and how trust, once shattered will never be as strong as it was before because the memory of the hurt remains. I told him that I would spend our life together punishing him a bit for hurting me (not because I am mean or vindictive, but because it's human nature and would be difficult to avoid) and he would spend it trying to make up for that hurt. I told him that in the past two years I have dated a few idiots and one man that changed my life. And that my heart isn't whole yet to give away again. (it's still smeared on the pavement)
I believe that it is best for me to start over with someone new. Sure, I would be estatic if T decided he wanted to be with me, that "I'll consider children" is enough. But it isn't going to happen. So would C be thrilled if I said, "Ok, just this once more, we will call the other three times practice".
Reality? Starting fresh would sure be nice. It would heal us both. And when C meets someone who is more compatible with him that I, he will realize that I'm not longer what he wants in a woman. I just don't think he has dated since me.
And, as Sensei has reminded me, I still have half an alphabet of alphamales to date. Heck, I may have to find a new way to designate the dates!

Another day

another letter trying to convince me. It breaks my heart. It's a challenge to my resolve. A huge challenge to my resolve. Thank you for your support. It really helps.

What? No!

Intereting weekend.

Spent Sat night speaking to a cute 26 yr old who wouldn't shut up. Very nice guy, it was nice to have someone to talk to, I just didn't do very much talking.

Sunday I went to C's house for a bit of TV and Kingdom of Heaven (I liked it. And Orlando Bloom was looking HOT even if he has a wierdly placed nipple) when he dropped me off, he told me he wants to try again. I said no. It was hard. It tests my resolve. Please tell me I did the right thing. Because on one hand, he was a bonehead. On the other hand, didn't I agree that if there is a large amount of compatibility, you should hold on to it? Sensei and Jen, you have been through all of this with me. I need your support too.

ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

that hurt far more than I thought it would. musn't cry at work...Needed to hear it, even though I didn't really want to. I provoked it. Can I please move on now???please? I'm tired of running about with a hole in my heart.

Bunny Decisions

It occured to me last night, as Jack ran about the house and I prepared to give him his medicine, that I have been saying for the last couple of weeks that I don't know if I am prepared to take on the responsibilty of a special needs bunny. And last night I thought about how if I had a boyfriend, I would be concerned about staying at his house overnight because I have a responsibility to my rabbit (should his new meds be needed twice a day), and oh my what a pain that is.

And it occurred to me that I should see this not as a burden, but as a challenge. That I should accept the challenge given to me. There is something to learn from this and while, yes, I do not want to go into debt for a bunny, how can I ever consider the thought of caring for a child if I won't care for a rabbit? how would Jack's special needs be any different from say, my nephew, who is autistic and his parents have risen to the occation without complaint?What about HR, who has been caring for his mother and sister his whole life? I don't know him very well, but I have a feeling, from what people tell me, that he doesn't think twice about it.

I know that an argument can be made that humans are different from animals. But I see no life as expendable, I feel like their lives are just as valid as ours. My challenge is so much less difficult than the ones of the people mentioned above. I'm lucky, that if the universe decided to give me this life lesson, that it isn't nearly as difficult as their's.

So, for now, I will stop complaining and care for my pet. I'm sure I can find room in my budget for his medication. I think it's the right thing to do. And I think I will be a better person for it.

Um...

Ginamonster -- [noun]: A person who likes to steal tins of tuna 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Hooray!

My website is now up and running. I have tweaked it all evening, and here it is! Now go buy stuff!

www.bubbly-creations.com

Meanwhile, all you crafty people, I am interested in offering select hand crafted items on consignment through my site. Please contact me if you are interested. These items do not have to be bath related, I just like to be able to offer an outlet for people who make stuff but don't know what to do with it. I have not set up this option yet, just sos you know.

Is is friday yet?

Really I think I'd rather it was Saturday. At work, I keep finding old screw ups and making new ones. Had another one of THOSE conversations with T. you know, the kind where I end up crying inside and wishing I could just let go so that it stops hurting. round and round and round I go.

I'm looking forward to spending time tonight working on my businesses.

Last night I discovered that if I have kids, I will likely tease them inssesently because I like thier reaction. I was having a blast tickling my friend's dog's foot last night. I didn't know dogs could be ticklish. She's cute. so is her sister. you can see them here: http://www.rebturtle.com/our_dog_pics2.htm they're nice dogs.

Jack has BOTH the e.cuniculi parasite AND pasturella. the Vet wants to start treatment for the e.cuniculi. I want to give up on bunnies alltogether, no matter how cute he is. there really isn't a CURE for the parasite, just stablization. I don't know if he will have to be on meds forever, I do know that I don't want to have to ask someone to take care of him again. (feeding is one thing, meds are another)

Homestly, if I had known today was going to be like this, I would have stayed home. It could be worse though. Much, much worse.

I am SO laughing right now

because someone found me by searching "Bubble butt girl"

I'm absolutely tickled.

New Blog

here:

http://shutdownthebitches.blogspot.com/

Radio time

So every afternoon on my way home from work (you know, all 15 minutes or so) I listen to Tom Lykis (www.blowmeuptom.com) even though I am not a part of his target demographic.

Here is my confession. I agree with most of what he says. The reason I don't agree with all of it is that he does use generalizations that don't apply to everyone. But he does admit that and I definately give him credit for it.

Yes, Tom comes accross as misogynistic, but when you consider what he is saying, much of it is true. I almost called in yesterday.

He was running a segment asking listeners to call in if they were going out with an ex last night. (C and I had dinner) The first person I heard call argued with him that she wasn't pathetic because she didn't have anyone else to go out with. His advice to men? Don't answer the phone when your ex calls on V day, you are her last resort. Me? I didn't call him, he invited me, and dinner was free for both of us. at an expensive restraunt. (if you are in the San Diego area, and you want dinner, I recommend Lou and Mickey's. Very tasty) We expected nothing more from each other than company and that's what we got.

So often I hear men writing in talking about how their girl friend/spouse, whatever, treats them terribly. How they got "trapped" and this and that. It's interesting for me to hear a man's point of view. Abuse cases directed at men rarely make the news, but here are men calling in, telling of physical and verbal abuse. discussing how these women use their kids as leverage to keep them. Threaten to have them arrested for abuse that never happened, (this happened to a man I dated, I find it apalling) and I must say that it makes me ashamed to be female, and helps me to understand why men are so hesitant to get involved. (if you listen to Tom, he will tell you not to get involved at all, just have booty calls)

Don't get me wrong, I love being a woman. But ladies, please. We cry for empowerment and equality, and yet when it comes to men, we revert to sniveling bitches. We whine and cry to get what we want. We blackmail men into doing what we want them to do. I think it's time to stop. I think it's time for us to stand up, and really be equal. Sexually. If Tom says that men should use us for a booty call, then I say, there's nothing wrong with using them right back. To quit pouting and remember that we enjoy sex too. You can choose (like me) to not sleep with someone you aren't dating, there's nothing wrong with that. but I have to agree that if there is a mutual attraction, and you're holding out, he's going to go somewhere else to get it.

I'm starting a new blog. I think there are a lot of women who think this way too and I want their opinion. Men, of course, are welcome. I want to hear your stories of how you've been treated badly. I want you to tell me about your ideal woman (aside from the part where she's mute, has handles for ears, and a flat spot on her head) I think it's time to turn the tide. I think it's time to show men that there are women out there who although they may want to settle down and be "taken care of" they are willing to take care right back. To maintain themselves and be trophy wives if they stay at home, to contribute equally if they work. I want those of us with self esteem and a respect for the oposite sex to overtake the whining bitches and become the norm for women.

I'm all wound up. let's get it done.

In the spirit of the day

Instead of lamenting my lack of a valentine, I think I will rehash some particularly good valentine stories (just highlights) from the four relationships that I had that coincided with the day.

B (High school Boyfriend) bought me pink roses because I asked for them. Took me to the sweetheart dance. I broke up with him soon after. he was a very nice guy.

D Our first V day we couldn't find an open restraunt, so we ordered a pizza and watched a movie together on the couch. it was very sweet.

C Second V day, he bought me a blooming plant and made me a card with our picture on it. it's a happy memory.

T only V day. He called (this was just a couple of days after we met) not because it was V day, but because he liked talking to me. It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

those are the highlights. Tonight I will be visiting my mom and having a late dinner at a fancy restraunt with C. not a romaintic thing, it's free for both of us because he's working there tonight. and hey, free fancy steak, who could refuse??

Had an interesting weekend not snowboarding. highlight? saw a couple of bald eagles. through a telescope, but I still saw them!

I'm obsessed because I know this

That T and I met one year ago today.

I'm healing because I didn't realize it until just now and I have not mentioned it to him.

I'm turning into my grandmother

Background:

My great grandparents bought thier house right after WWII. It overlooks Sunset Cliffs, which is a lovely view of the ocean. They had the same neighbors pretty much the whole time they lived there. (They died in 1995. They lived there a long time) When they died, the house went to my grandmother who I would visit quite often (until towards the end when I got too busy and I will always feel bad even though I was at her side every day at the very end and I held her foot while she died, so I don't have a lot of guilt, just some)

Ma would tell me stories about her week. and her week always included a visit from Bubble Butt. Bubble Butt lived accross the street. My Great Grandmother named her that. Apparently she has a big butt. I have never met her because by the time my father inherited the house, none of the neighbors would talk to me (yes, he pissed them off that badly. GG's house became the drug house on the street. The last time it sold, almost a year ago, it went for nearly a million. It's a nice neighborhood). I have no idea what Bubble Butt's real name is, she's just Bubble Butt.

It occurred to me that I have become my grandmother because I give people descriptive nicknames that stick. Like Creepy (I feel bad about that one because he ended up helping me so much) and See Through Skirt Girl. And today, someone got renamed, Saggy Pants.

After I renamed him, I realized that this habit is family tradition. I have now become my grandmother.

when weddings happen

I have only had the experience of exes getting married a could of times. I know there will be a time before I know it when more will be getting married but I will jump off that bridge when I come to it.

The first one was my first "real" boyfriend, if you know what I mean. I was no longer thinking of him THAT way and really didn't want much to do with him, although of course I wished him well. He stayed in touch with my mom however and invited her to his wedding. The picture he sent of his wife to be looked frighteningly like me. My mom did not go, and I mentally moved on. He will be forever more known as J, they guy I broke up with in the parking lot at Home Depot. Not to be confused with J, annoying work guy.

The second time this happened wasn't really an exboyfriend, just someone who I went out with a few times (like to prom. twice) and we got kissyface, but nothing further because I was not ready for that. HIS wife to be, although we were friends in school, didn't care for me once they got together. when the invite arrived, it was addressed to D and Guest, although D and I had been together for nearly 5 years at that point and were living together. I went of course, the groom was and is a dear friend. And I would go again, it was a fun wedding. They're divorced now, and the rest is another story.

What would I do if I were caught in that spot again? I'm not sure. If man #2 were to marry the woman he is with now, I wouldn't think twice about going. she and I are friends and I don't think she sufferes from the same insecurities as his first wife. if T were getting married, I would probably spend the whole day in bed. If D gets married, I plan to be there if invited. but we are all friends and any insecurities would be mine. who knows, by the time T gets married, I may be done crying. but based on today, I don't think that will be soon.

Hell is when the man you can't seem to let go insists on finding you a new man. I'm proud of myself for telling him it upsets me. Maybe now he will stop.

Psst...Hey. C'mere

You want to buy some vitamins? i've got some really good ones, fresh stuff, you know???


Yeah. The vitamin company wanted me to sell vitamins to my friends and family. Not going to happen. I'll sell them soap, I'll imprint napkins and matchbooks and pencils for them, but I am not going to hit them up for vitamins too.

Then, because I wasted my time at the vitamin company, I missed the Starbucks hiring event. But I did apply at Office Depot. Then I tried to figure out how long I will have to have a second job in order to pay off my credit card bill, which, by the way, is not nearly as ugly as most people's. My magic 8 ball says: "outlook not so good". Sad how hard it is to get out ofdebt. I mean, of course it's easy to get there, but getting out? wow.

Hooray!

I have an interview tonight! second jobs are fun! I'll be able to pay my bills! Hooray!

yeah it's greyish

Still don't like the hair, can't wait to be able to afford to fix it!!

Jack has pus in his eye. I thought it was a growth because there are veins going to it and it was getting bigger. So I contacted a vet and he said it was a protozoa and to bring him in ASAP.
the vet I actually saw listed several things it could be, let me know that the veins were an immune response, took blood for tests, and gave me antibiotics for him (twice a day for ten days) The antibiotics might work if it is bacterial, which means he has Pasturella. If not, then the problem is not bacterial which means it might be the protozoa or it could just be an abscess. He may want to refer me to an animal ophthalmologist who would look, maybe sample the pus, and maybe remove the eye if necessary. all I heard was the dollars flying out of my wallet.

Thus far I have spent over $300 on my $4 bunny, and that isn't counting food, litter, and bedding. He just became more expensive than my hair. ooh, next, I will post the current hair color. I forgot to do that.

Another exciting weekend

My couch and coffee table. can you see my spinning wheel to the right?. yeah, haven't used it but once...I still prefer my drop spindle. Who knew?


I'm taking Jack to the vet tonight regarding the growth in his eye. Apparently that means he hs a parasite. It's called a "Encephalitazoan cuniculi" I will google it and see what I come up with. It never hurts to be informed. T says I should eat him. I think he would fit nicely in my still unused crock pot.
Dustin and I had fun at the beach on saturday. My tennis shoes are not meant for use near tide pools. slippery, you know. HE says that I have met my limit on the amount of pets that one person should have in thier apartment and that I should strike Hemit Crabs from my list of prospective pets. I think I am a grown up and can have as many animals as I want, BUT that the crabs will be more expensive to set up and maintain than I care to spend, so I think I have let that idea go. I'll just visit them at the pet store along with the kittens.

Adventures in moving

I realize this stuff is a bit late. But this is the Jock Strap I found in my linen closet when I lined the shelves. It was on the top shelf so I can kind of see how it could have been forgotten. kind of. I check all cabinets and drawers when I move, I don't know.

Keep your gosh darn banana to yourself!

I'm not sure if I have ever shared the following information with you, but I must make the following statement in order for you to understand that you must be very careful where you leave your bananas.

I am allergic to bananas. Very allergic. I cannot touch them without developing what I refer to as banana lips. Banana lips occur when I have had contact with a stray banana. (I don't have to eat them, touching them will produce a reaction)The symptoms include tiny blisters on my mouth and swelling that is consistant with bad collegen injections. The last time I had a banana in my mouth (actually it was an accidental banana muffin, but the phrase banana in my mouth was too much to pass up) my tounge turned laffy tafffy purple.

That said, you would be amazed at how careless people are when disposing of this potentially toxic substance. I see banana peels left in parking lots, draped over fence posts, tossed carelessly on the side of hiking trails, and sometimes in very odd places.

Case in point, Brother needed to rent the movie "Pulp Fiction" last night so I took him to the video store for the following reasons:

1. My mother does not have a rental card because the place where she used to rent movies went out of business.
2. It was a homework thing
3. My mom tore ligaments in her foot surfing in Hawaii and has now been renames "Gimpy". she needed to go to bed last night as this came up as an issue (the homework) around 9:30.

So we went to the video store. And looked for the DVD. Brother finally asked about it when we couldn't find it, and the clerk told him they didn't have it. Apparently,almost all of ther Quentin Terintino DVD's have been stolen (and apparently this large chain store does not replace the stolen movies??) Stolen? for goodness sakes, stop stealing, and buy your stuff! (but that's another rant) She directed us to the Video Tape section and handed me the movie. I turned it over, as I am still astounded the rental stores still offer tapes. who watches tapes these days??Do you know what I foud smeared on the back of the tape? dried banana guts. all brown and shrively. What are they trying to do? Kill me?

Brother, being a good kid, took the movie from me to reduce my exposure. Who smears bananas on a movie? and what kind of store does not clean their merchandise?

I have only a few small blisters this morning and thankfully no swelling.

aparenlty I can be overcome with noodles and bananas.

HR Update

My mother still has hope that HR will be her future son in law. As far as I know he is still "trapped", but she has suggested inviting him camping for Easter. that would be just fine with me. I would still like to get to know him better. Apparently, his girl gave my mom the stink eye when she hugged him at his mom's funeral.
I did notice today that HR does not have a butt. I can live with that. Most men don't anyway.

get it out, get it out, GET IT OUT!!

You haven't really lived until you have seen your boss humping the flat file in imitation of brokeback mountain.

yeah.

Lesson for today

When someone tells you something that suprises you and your first thought is that you aren't naieve enough to believe that, and then you do believe it after very little convincing.

Trust your first instinct.

This has been a message from your friendly neighborhood monster.