Another day

I was going to discuss the difficulties of planning a surprise party for my mother's 50th when something came across my desk that got me a bit riled.

I will generally admit my faults if I can see them. One of them is that I can be exceptionally retentive when it comes to planning (see birthday party above) and scheduling (I'm all wound up because I don't know when I will see Mr Right Now again, and insecure me is screaming that the answer is, "never!!!"). The other, or I should say, another, is that I am not perfect. I try to be. But the logical part of my brain (the one that can occationally escape from my retentive, perfectionist tendencies) knows that I am not. I'm clumsy and forgetful, and occationally a bit dyslexic. These are things I accept about myself.

However, there are those who I work with, that just cannot accept this. So anytime I send something out that is just a bit off, the emails fly in, all in a panic. It can be a project number, off by one (as it was today) and suddenly, the world has ended and everything has changed, and oh my goodness, when did that happen??? Never mind that the project list is updated constantly, and posted and available for anyone who needs it. Never mind that the numbers on it do not change. (am I raving yet??) The panic that sets in would cause one to think that the world has ended and everything is falling apart.

I would like to know if it is really so difficult to print yourself out a copy of said project list and by all means, check the numbers yourself. There are days like today when I just want to delete the emails without reading them and hang up the phone when my coworkers call. (boy am I in a snit) I want to tell them to check it out for themselves, that I am cutting the apron strings because after a year, I should not have to tell them how to do their jobs!

But oh, heavens to Betsy, (now there's a phrase to calm me down and make me laugh) I couldn't possibly do that because the system, that we have so carefully crafted, a great, although constantly evolving structure needs to be followed and for some reason, there's only three of us who can do it! Would you believe that I keep an elaborate list of when I am supposed to remind them to give me stuff, information it would take them five minutes to gather and walk over to me, because most of them will not respond the first time I ask? grr!

OY! And the emails come in that the list did get checked, but that they wanted to be sure! Maybe I am not the retentive one!

By the way, I would really like to know, because my friends give me so much shit about it, is it really so bad that I like to knit?