Friday, November 02, 2007

Have you ever...

Updated your resume and realized that you don't like what you have been doing for the last several years?

Looked in the help wanted ads and thought that you weren't qualified for anything?

Felt stuck?

Been willing to take a 50% paycut if needed to feel some sort of job satisfaction?

Realized that if you do take 50% you'll never be able to live on your own...

Part of that sounds like a commercial. I wish it was.

Part of me realized that I am in a unique situation right now. That I could feasably go anywhere with my life (Colorado is sounding a little bit cool right now). That feels a little freeing. But what I think I want is to settle in somewhere and run my own business. Soap, Girl Friday, Yarn Maven, whatever satisfies my need to be successful, even if that means that I get up every morning looking forward to my day. And I come home every evening feeling the joy of a job well done. Comfortable money would be nice, but I don't need to be rich.

I guess I'm just feeling a bit chewed up. And scared. I want to move along, but the last time I got a job on my own I was 19. And I lied on my resume. I told them I had some college when I had none. I don't think that is something to be proud of, but I had been unemployed for two months and my resources had dried up.

My resume is all truth now. All truth and casinos. I don't want to work in another casino. I decided the other day that someting about making a living off of gambling sucks the life out of you. I have developed wrinkles, see?

Life sucking madness. Yesterday they were practically crevasses.

I don't know how to go about this whole job search thing. I look online, I don't like what I see. The simple jobs want someone who types 60 wpm. At my peak, I was at 35 wpm. I'm a hunter and a, not a pecker, a peckist. I can learn to do almost anything, I am a good worker. I just need the tools and support to be successful. I'm afraid to post my resume. afraid my current employer will find it. Poo knows I am looking. Somedays, I think I can rise to this challenge. Today we are barely speaking. That hurts. It may not be me, I could just be sensitive. He's got a lot of stress. More every day. Yesterday I wanted to walk out. Today V almost did.

I just needed to vent.

ps, apparently I have SOME photoshop skills. But I think Perez Hilton has the monopoly on decorating pictures with squiggly white lines.


Gretta James said...

I can't see a wrinkle!!!

You'll get there chick, something will jump out the page at you I just know it.


Anonymous said...

It is good that you take time for self examination. Many folks cruise through life without doing so. Good for you!

Taking time to decide what you want (job, lifestyle, goals) makes actually achieving it possible. Its hard to work towards a goal if there isnt a goal. Of course its always easier said than done, but a roadmap is essential.

Maybe school is the answer? On a more personal note Colorado sounds like a step in the right direction! You will almost be close enough for me to pop in and meet you one day. Regardless, you will be fine no matter what you decide. You are a sweet, thoughtful woman!

Sensei Ern said...

I recommend you decide what you want to do first, then develop a skill that makes you valuable in that profession.

I still recommend South Carolina. Warm seasons with friendly folk. Plus, soap making in the Carolinas just sounds like it belongs.

Ginamonster said...

Gretta, They're there, they are just camera shy.

anon, I slept through high school, and my vocational certificate, while useful, is no longer applicable in the real world unless I want to go through more schooling and take some silly tests. I may take some business classes. There are definately some woodworking classes I want to take...

Sensei, little tiny baby steps. If NV is a culture shock, I'm not sure how I would handle SC!!