Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy HNT!

Turkey Coma edition

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. Mine was good. I missed my family. I think I will always regret not finding a way "home" for the holidays. Lesson learned.


Sensei Ern said...

How I spent my holiday,
7am - 11 am: Playing catch with my dog, G. G. (Glamorous Glennis), and filling out paperwork from the IRS, that was sent to me because my wife asked the IRS to burden me with 100% of the $30K we jointly owe. Incredible how the same woman will tell everyone that she loves me, then tells me through her actions that she wants to hurt me any way she can. I should not be suprised, considering a year ago, she threatened to kill me and six months ago tried to fulfill that threat.

11 am - 4 pm: Hanging out at the cigar shop with other guys, many who would rather not be around family so they used the excuse that they had to "pick up something the wife forgot" and after a few hours "they had a hard time finding a store open." (Now, I know what my dad was doing all those holidays.)

4 pm - 4:30 pm: After the guys who wander out of the family gathering left the shop, I spent a half hour at the shop with three Montgomery COunty sheriffs. It took me fifteen minutes to realize they were there to relax, and not to arrest me. (I rarely do anything wrong, except have a lead hand (motorcycles have a hand throttle, not a foot accelerator, which a car has.), but I thought maybe my wife made up something, just to ruin my day.) As I left the shop, I looked in my rear view mirror to make sure they were not waiting for me to leave so there was not a scene at the shop.

4:30 pm - 4:45 pm: Rode my motorcycle 10 miles to see "Beowolf" in 3D. At 11 am, the temperature was 75* F. At 4:30 pm, the temp dropped to 50* F with a 30 mph wind. I had left my gloves at home at 11 am.

4:45 pm - 6:15 pm: I decided to catch the movie, "Hitman", since "Beowolf" didn't start until 7:30 pm. Hitman was better than most video-game-made-into-a-movie movie, but I do not expect it to play many weeks. Think of Jason Borne with less cell phone dialog and less hair.

6:15 pm to 7:30 pm: played video games in the theater lobby. Time Crisis 3 and Off Road 3.

7:30 pm - 10 pm: I sat through the most retarded movie. The 3D effects were ineffective. I found myself spending more time winking one eye then the other to see if there really was a 3D effect (to see this, close one eye and stare at an object in front of you, like your monitor screen. move your focus to the right or left then make a note of what you see. Close that eye and open the other. You will notice that either more background or less background is revealed. The farther the distance behind the monitor the background is, the greater the amount revealed or hidden of the object behind it.)

The action, not movie action, but actual movement on the screen was so shaky, it was hard to tell if there was much effect. I took my glasses off a couple times to see what hte screen looked like...a blurry I put the glasses back on. These look like the birth control glasses the Army issues in Boot Camp and that made me look like Drew Cary.

10 pm - 10:15 pm: Rode home. 45* F with 40 mph winds, with bare knuckles.

10:15 pm - 10:30 pm: I thanked God for giving me life, allowing me to live it in freedom, and asked him to protect my family, even my wife.

Gretta James said...

lesson learnt indeed xx

Rich | Championable said...

For some reason, I thought you were under the pile of clothes. It took me like ten seconds to actually see you in that picture. I think about 50% of America wound up in exactly the same position, in carbo-comas.

rebturtle said...

Aaaak, riding without gloves? I feel for you, Sensei! Quite possibly the only thing worse than that is riding in shorts and being wind-whipped by your own leg hair. -No, riding without gloves is way worse.

Don't worry Monster, being away from family on holidays is tough, but going into a turkey-induced food coma on Thanksgiving is living the American dream. Heck it's the dream of every kid in every third-world country, too!

Buzz said...

Lol.. Cute

Ginamonster said...

Sensei. sometimes you make me want to cry.

Gretta, yup.

Rich, ordinarily, I would be under that pile of clothes. I put them away, by the way. Right before I did more laundry. The fact that I have already put THAT away too is something short of a miracle

Randy, but you should see how cute it is hen the siblings and I all drool at the same time!

Chickie said...

Nothing beats a good turkey coma.

Sensei Ern said...

"Sensei. sometimes you make me want to cry."

Wow. A movie so bad that it made someone cry just from hearing about it.

I bet that hasn't happened since "Gigli" (which I bet would have sold more tickets if Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez had not insisted that it be pronounced, "jee-lee". I bet guys would have lined up around the block to see J Lo in a movie pronounced, "jiggly".