Saturday, September 22, 2007

Oh, Hi officer. I'll give you two good reasons not to give me a ticket today...

subtitled, "Whew! Thank goodness I'm wearing my 'Sexy Motherpucker' lip gloss today!"

Rusty's in town which means a lot of beer drinking and tobacco chewing. I? have known or awhile that I would end up driving three drunk asses around the greater Truckee Meadows area this weekend. I'm quite ok with that. I would rather know I am driving than worry about them dying on a mountain road. Rusty, for those of you who have been around for a bit, used to be my landlord. But it's his wife that I can't stand. I like Rusty.

So we wandered out this morning and headed up to Tahoe. After checking out the dam, (there were some huge fish right there. You could see them right through the water. it was SWEET!) Rusty quickly determined that he was ready for a bar, I went wandering Tahoe City. Got me some gelato and headed to the bar to meet up with the boys who were, at that point, pretty well snookered. BTW, Jason's Bar and Grill, great service.

We left, and stopped my the gas station for a twelve pack to drink on the way down the hill. (!!!) About half way down, Poo decided it was time for me to drive. And we got down the hill alive, stopping only once to let the boys out to pee. At least, we got most of the way down the hill without incedent.

I saw the cop from quite aways away. Nevada Police have disco lights. I noticed a speed limit sign and started to slow down. Since the cop was pulled over, I wasn't all that worried. Until he pulled out onto the road and behind me with his lights on. I thought, "Hey, I'll just pull to the right and let him pass me, he must be after someone." He was. Me. Shit.

Now, I have not switched my licence over. And I have three dunk men in the car, three open containers, and a lot of empties. Rusty is carrying something extra, and smells like it.

The officer, was realy very nice. He clocked me going 71 in a 55. He believed me when I said I had only been here a couple of weeks. (I figured that a lie would be ok as long as it didn't hurt anyone and might save my ass) He forgave a good portion of my speeding since I probably don't know the limits yet. (in my defense, I really didn't know it was 55 through there) He also gave me credit for driving a truck that was not my own. AND we didn't get cited for not being able to find Poo's insurance card.

My ticket is for 1 mile over. I am blessed.

It occurred to me later that perhaps I could have offered to show him a bit of skin, if you know what I mean, and maybe gotten out of the ticket all together, but that's mostly about being funny and not at all about being realistic. We do think that he knew I was the designated driver. All I know is that I drove the speed limit all the way home. And I am thanking my lucky stars for nice cops and lip plumping lip gloss.

Right now Poo and BR are arguing poker rules. I think I am ready to take a little jaunt to the craft store. Maybe all three craft stores. I don't want to be around wen they decide to play "suck my dick".

People often ask me how I handle living with two men. I usually laugh and tell them it's not too bad. I've learned that when the going gets tough, I go to my room.

Meanwhile, shit. I forgot. There was something else! I totally forgot what it was! Dangit.


Rich | Championable said...

Did you remember yet?

Gretta James said...

I've flirted my way out of a ticket before - it's so great to have the feminine power sometimes.

Gretta x