Bug guy is getting married in August. In addition to being a bridesmaid, it turns out I am also officiating. (when I learned this I tried to get out of being a bridesmaid. no dice) That's cool though, I'm happy to help out.
Today, I am supposed to meet him and his fiancee for lunch so that we can discuss the ceremony. and so that I can have lunch with them. sweet. Yesterday, he invited our admin too.
Here's the thing. Our admin is the daughter of a Christian Minister. Because of her strong stance on her faith, I choose not to dicuss religion with her. If she knows my faith, she does not discuss it with me. It isn't that I think she would judge me or be mean, but I strongly suspect that the matter of conversation would make her very uncomfortable.
Admin thinks the whole internet ordination thing is just terrible. And I really do understand where she is coming from. Thousands of people getting ordained just for the sake of being. Having no particular calling towards god and no particular desire to do anything with it other than call themselves "Minister". However, I did get ordained for free on the internet and I wouldn't restrict somone elses right to do so. As with anything, this is a matter between me and God.
SO anyway, a couple of weeks ago, Admin asked Bug Guy who was performing the ceremony. We told her I am. She didn't say anything, just kept on with the conversation and a few moments later, asked again. I got the distinct feeling that she didn't like that answer. (I have known this woman for a long time. I can tell when she does not approve) But, it is not up to her, and like it or not, I am a Minister (so now, is Bug Guy. He was bored one night) and just as qualified as anyone else to perform the ceremony.
While I am glad to have her company at lunch, I am not comfortable discussing the ceremony with her there. Don't think that will stop me. It's just going to be an awkward lunch.
In other news, my Seester brought up an excellent point regarding eugenics in email to me and also on her blog. In my quest to reassure her that she would make the right decisions, I didn't think to discuss the overlying questions of eugenics and it's place in our society.
I will admit that I don't really know that much about it. I have never considered it because it is only in recent years that I have considered the idea of having a child. Do I understand why people would want to test to see if there are any "abnormalities" with an unborn child? yes. Do I think a child should be terminated because it is "abnormal"? No. But cultures have been doing it for thousands of years. Of course, putting your child out in the weather to die because she is not perfect is no longer accepted in our society, but apparently, in some circles, not allowing that child to be born is ok.
I would like to think that I would not be able to do it. That I would rise to the challenge of raising a differently abled child as so many people do, with joy. They don't love them less. They (hopefully) don't resent them. I pray that I never have to find out what my choice would be. and because I have a tendency to hide my face, I don't know that I would want to take the genetic tests. Because then I might have to make the choice.
Where is the line, though? Are we talking about severly disabled or maybe just missing a finger? My Seester is creeped out by light eyes, suppose she terminated a non brown eyed child? (She would NEVER do this. EVER, EVER. She has already declared that all light eyed children will go to me.)the point is, where do we draw the line? I don't know what all eugenics can discover. it may be that it only detects things like Downs Syndrome. But I wouldn't give up any of my time with Uncle Georgie, and I hae never known the family of a Downs child to have anything but delight in them. Sure, most people would not choose the dufficult path, but they say it is the most rewarding.
Seester is struggling with it for her own reasons. I think you should wander on over there.
Lunch went well, athough I over stepped my hour (I don't do that often, but I still feel bad) I stayed a little extra after Admin left to try and discuss it. The bride and groom have no idea what they want said. Time to pull out my creative writing skills.