Friday, April 27, 2007

It will be awkward

Bug guy is getting married in August. In addition to being a bridesmaid, it turns out I am also officiating. (when I learned this I tried to get out of being a bridesmaid. no dice) That's cool though, I'm happy to help out.

Today, I am supposed to meet him and his fiancee for lunch so that we can discuss the ceremony. and so that I can have lunch with them. sweet. Yesterday, he invited our admin too.

Here's the thing. Our admin is the daughter of a Christian Minister. Because of her strong stance on her faith, I choose not to dicuss religion with her. If she knows my faith, she does not discuss it with me. It isn't that I think she would judge me or be mean, but I strongly suspect that the matter of conversation would make her very uncomfortable.

Admin thinks the whole internet ordination thing is just terrible. And I really do understand where she is coming from. Thousands of people getting ordained just for the sake of being. Having no particular calling towards god and no particular desire to do anything with it other than call themselves "Minister". However, I did get ordained for free on the internet and I wouldn't restrict somone elses right to do so. As with anything, this is a matter between me and God.

SO anyway, a couple of weeks ago, Admin asked Bug Guy who was performing the ceremony. We told her I am. She didn't say anything, just kept on with the conversation and a few moments later, asked again. I got the distinct feeling that she didn't like that answer. (I have known this woman for a long time. I can tell when she does not approve) But, it is not up to her, and like it or not, I am a Minister (so now, is Bug Guy. He was bored one night) and just as qualified as anyone else to perform the ceremony.

While I am glad to have her company at lunch, I am not comfortable discussing the ceremony with her there. Don't think that will stop me. It's just going to be an awkward lunch.

In other news, my Seester brought up an excellent point regarding eugenics in email to me and also on her blog. In my quest to reassure her that she would make the right decisions, I didn't think to discuss the overlying questions of eugenics and it's place in our society.

I will admit that I don't really know that much about it. I have never considered it because it is only in recent years that I have considered the idea of having a child. Do I understand why people would want to test to see if there are any "abnormalities" with an unborn child? yes. Do I think a child should be terminated because it is "abnormal"? No. But cultures have been doing it for thousands of years. Of course, putting your child out in the weather to die because she is not perfect is no longer accepted in our society, but apparently, in some circles, not allowing that child to be born is ok.

I would like to think that I would not be able to do it. That I would rise to the challenge of raising a differently abled child as so many people do, with joy. They don't love them less. They (hopefully) don't resent them. I pray that I never have to find out what my choice would be. and because I have a tendency to hide my face, I don't know that I would want to take the genetic tests. Because then I might have to make the choice.

Where is the line, though? Are we talking about severly disabled or maybe just missing a finger? My Seester is creeped out by light eyes, suppose she terminated a non brown eyed child? (She would NEVER do this. EVER, EVER. She has already declared that all light eyed children will go to me.)the point is, where do we draw the line? I don't know what all eugenics can discover. it may be that it only detects things like Downs Syndrome. But I wouldn't give up any of my time with Uncle Georgie, and I hae never known the family of a Downs child to have anything but delight in them. Sure, most people would not choose the dufficult path, but they say it is the most rewarding.

Seester is struggling with it for her own reasons. I think you should wander on over there.

Lunch went well, athough I over stepped my hour (I don't do that often, but I still feel bad) I stayed a little extra after Admin left to try and discuss it. The bride and groom have no idea what they want said. Time to pull out my creative writing skills.


fringes said...

Awesome post. I am totally getting Internet-ordained today.

Sensei Ern said...

GM, your posts are starting to get more consistently mature. I am very impressed.

But, I expect your next one to be about farting while rollerderbying (BTW, a friend of mine was a guest body guard at a rollerderby in Virginia this weekend).

First, about ordination. I have no problem with online ordination. Really. It is the responsibility of the worshipper to determine th ecredentials of their spiritual leader. If a cert from is acceptable, then no one else has the right to impose a prohibition on another's right to worship as they see fit. But, we still have the right to criticize such credentials, by expressing our opinion on them.

But, no matter the right to free speech, that right does not guarantee that we will be listened to.

Second, about marriage. Many people won't understand a fundamentalist Christian not wanting a marriage ammendment in the Constitution, but I don't. The reason I don't is that marriage is a religious ceremony and the government should have no involvement in it. That includes they should NOT have special treatment for married people, including tax breaks.

I reserve the right to never call two men husband and husband, or husband and wife, or Mr. and Mrs. I reserve the right to express my religious belief that it is wrong.

I do support a governmental legislation that allows for legal bindings that allow certain people to have the privileges and responsibilities that the government currently gives to married couples. Similar to limited liability corporations.

Third, about testing unborn children for health issues. I have no problem with these tests as long as they do not injure the child. While I oppose abortion, I think these tests will help parents prepare for the child before he is born.

Not So Anonymous Michelle said...

Great post, I had no idea there was online ordination out there! I would only do it for the wrong reasons! But, seriously, I have no problem with it, there is so much online now, people get degress online, Ph.D's, all that...who can criticize.

The only reason someone should have those tests on unborn children is to better prepare themselves for the child that's on the way...I know I could never terminate a pregnancy no matter what I found out through such tests.