Friday night we had a prank caller. The obscene kind. I had a great time talking to him, or should I say, laughing at him. Word of advice, if someone asks you to guess what is in his right hand, the most innocent possible answer is not, "A small furry animal" oops. heh. I crack myself up. There were other things said, all of which amused me greatly, a few overshares (to which biker bob said, "you shared that with a complete stranger?") but I felt it was nessesary to gross the kid out as much as possible. I also stretched the truth a bit and said I had a boyfriend, but I'm not stupid, when a strange man claming to be pleasuring himself on the phone asks if I have a boyfriend, of COURSE the answer is yes!! Regardless, I laughed my head off. It was great.
The baby shower on Saturday was fun. (gasp!!) and it was nice to spend some time with my mom and sister. Brother got into another car accident on Friday night. he insists that he rolled into the pole. I didn't know that rolling into a pole at low speeds going up hill an do the sort of damage that was done, but the truck is now undrivable (the tire came right off the wheel!!). He, Thankfully, is ok.
It was hard getting up and going to work on Sunday morning, but I made it. Then I was off to my nephew's birthday party where I was treated to head on collisions, nudity, and a booger picking ettiquitte lesson.
Watching all those kids and their parents made me wonder what it would be like to have kids. I mean, I know it's tough. And what little bit of children I see isn't nearly what it's really like to be a parent. But it would be hard, you know, the birthday parties and the ettiquitte lessons and my goodness, the tantrums! I've been alone for so long that I can't remember what it is even like to have another person in the house, (the old roomates don't count, I hardly saw them) and to have someone constantly in need of your attention and supervision? How hard is it not to turn them away while you finish up dinner or watch your TV show? We all SAY we wouldn't do that if it was our kid, but how do we really know? How do you teach your kid that they shouldn't get nakid at the party when they saw another kid do it and they were taking their clothes off because they were wet from the pool without telling they they are bad?
I found myself feeling lonely for the opportunity to find out these things,which only served to underline the whole, I am getting older and still have not found a life partner thing. I mean, it's not hard to accumulate a kid. They have banks for that. But if I were going to be a mom, I want there to be a dad. My cousin's husband flat out asked me if I didn't want to have a long term monagamous relationship, and of course I do, but I also don't want to settle. I tried to explain how difficult it is to date at our age, but he didn't understand. He and my cousin are lucky. They met when she was 16 (he's a few years older than us, I just don't remember how many) and while many of us didn't think it would last because they were so young, they have been together for 13 years now and well, if ever they have hit a rough patch, she hasn't told me.
I am aware that I am not that old, but my fertile years are passing by. I think about this alot. Truly I am no closer to finding Mr Right than I ever have been. I try not to lose faith that things happen all in good time. I really try. It's as if there is a whole other culture of people, (rudely called "the breeders" in some circles) who are having this experience that I may never have. and I guess I'm more than a little bit jealous. I don't regret the decisions that I have made thus far, I'm really glad that I was able to devote my twenties to myself. But I am getting ready to leave my twenties. and going forward, I would really like someone to share my time with. someone with a future, not a good for now. Funny how many years I have been saying that. It's not getting any easier, that's for sure. I keep telling myself though, that one of these times, one will stick. We'll like each other equally and want to be together. We will be, as I call it, mutually agreeable. I'm not naieve enough to pretend that everything will be perfect. There is no perfect and often, I think that some of the strengths in a relationship come from getting through the imperfect times. Still...
Wow. That was a lot more information than I intended.