Friday, October 06, 2006

decisions

I am blessed (did you think I forgot about this? Ok, I did. but only temporarily) because there are a few years in there where I actually had a dad. And he hasn't always been fucked up so I can brag about some of the cool stuff he's done and remember the good times we had together. Trips to the movies and to the Swap Meet, the world's best omlettes and hostess chocolate donettes. All the lucky charms I could eat in a weekend...

It really bothers me, this thing with my dad, but I still maintain that I have done the best that I can, that he is disfunctional, not I. I suppose it will always bother me, and I don't expect that I will heal quickly. All I can be is strong and deal with it the best that I can.

I purchased additional Storage for my computer by way of a flash card, but my computer is too old to recognize it. So I have decided that it is time to purchase a new computer. New. Not used, not built by a friend, although those have worked really well fro me thus far. The thing is, that Computer A only has 2 gigs of memory. I don't know what that means, but I have used it up. and as my business grows, so does my computer usage. This last little experiment set me back two days. If I were in a money crunch that would be really bad. The one nice thing about having a really slow system is that I can knit while programs load. Sadly, this will set my debt free goal back many months. But you have to do what you have to do sometimes.

Have a good weekend, and of course, Welcome, to all of Dr John's readers on thier bloggeriffic oddessey. It's nice to hear from all of you. Keep an eye out for rabbits and dragons.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here through Dr. John and glad I came. Your few works about your Dad - made we water up. Same situation with mine. Well not exactly but, we're estranged and in some way I'm relieved. I carry a lot of grief, I'm long past the longing for him the Dad from "Father Knows Best" (I'm not that old, but..) and I'm just happy when a call doesn't come from Florida. Its easy the police, a friend asking for money or Western Union with him there claiming I sent him money. Please, make it stop.

Margaret said...

A Dr. John stopperby here. =O)

You sound a lot like myself. My Dad was from a dysfunctional family and carried some of the dysfunction with him.

It's tough - because I'm trying so hard to leave it all behind.

Gary said...

I have heard that some of the new computers are so powerful that they can even do your knitting for you.

Mine is 20gig and that is pleanty for me, at least for now. I think all new computers have a lot more than that, though. Happy hunting.

Gingers Mom said...

Here by way of Dr John.

That is too bad about your dad. I just wrote a blog about how I was so blessed to have a father like mine. We can't all be so lucky. Sometimes you can make a better family out of friends than the family you came from. Blessings to you!

QuillDancer said...

My dad put the D in disfunctional. Through my life I have learned that we do the best we can with what we were given, and there's not much we can do about anyone else. That was a hard lesson for me to learn.

After I learned it about myself, I realized it was true of my dad, too. All thinkgs considered, he gave me a better life than he had as a child. Try to find a way to forgive your dad. Not for him, but for you, so your out look on life isn't shaded by bitter clouds.

I'm running in Dr. John's Marathon. He didn't say anything about passing out ameature psychology, that was my own idea.

Cindy said...

I understand the Dad thing, having gone through something similar with my own Dad over the last several years. I finally had to simply turn the whole thing over to God and tell Him I wanted Him to deal with because I just don't know how. I know that God will fix the situation in His own good timing and I trust He'll do the same for you if you give it all over to Him.
And now, it's off on a dead run to get caught up with the marathoner's from Dr. John's. Hope you are enjoying all the new traffic.

shqipo said...

I can't relate fully to the Dad situation. I haven't been that nice to my dad growing up (teenage stuff...) but now that I'm a father myself I realize how much he's tried to raise me up right and how much he's sacrificed.

Regarding your comp situation: 2GB of memory?! Are you sure? How old is your pc, 10 yrs. old? In that case yes, you do need a new one. Here's the upgrade schedule for comps: personal: every 5 years, business: every 3 years. With 2gb you can't even support windows (which is a monster). BUT the issue, most likely, for yours being slow, is RAM.

Anyway, the price of PCs has decreased quite a bit. You don't have to have a custom built one from Dell or wherever, you can find quite decent ones at your local "box" store (check weekly ads). Celeron ones are the cheapest but they're for basic tasks (word processing, internet, email). I bought a really good HP laptop for a friend of mine last week for $750.

Chickie said...

The one nice thing about having a really slow system is that I can knit while programs load. Ha! I just choked on my soda while reading that!

My relationship with my dad isn't very good. I'm glad that he lives far away and that I don't have to deal with him.