Thursday, September 07, 2006

musing

I was going to discuss how I always seem to wear a short flippy skirt on windy days, but then my father called.

I would like to say that his apology for putting drugs before his children meant something. I would like to say that I think he will be just fine.

What I will say is that the apology sounded like empty words. Something said to weasle his way back into my good graces. That I am glad he has to attend Al-Anon and Narc-Anon meetings all day every day. I think they are excellent programs with a lot to offer someone who is ready to take the steps nessesary to overcome the disability that is addiction. That I don't plan to give him anything out of the storage unit except his clothes and his fishing stuff.

He didn't dare ask me for money. (If I am going to spend $2000 on a motorcycle, I'm keepin it) He did ask about my grandmother's jewelry since one ring, apparently, would get him his motorcycle AND a new start in life. Luckily my sister has both of him. He'll never ask her for them. I will not give up the one she gave me personally when we were in Vegas after Frank died. I still maintain that if he wanted her personals, he should have been there when she died. And since my mom was the last person she laid eyes upon in this life, she should be allowed to keep that ring. neither Seester or I ever questioned her having it.

I mentioned the two jobs, and that yes, the storage fees are causing a strain but that Seester is going to help me out with that. I gave him my cell number so he can call me, and explained that I answer it unless I am working at 'Bucks. I intend to go visit him.

I am still very angry with him.

I pray that someday I will be able to forgive him for what he has done to himself and so to me and my sis. But first, I need to see proof that he has changed. and in that 5 minute conversation, all I heard was, "I'm still the same"

3 comments:

Rich | Championable said...

I think you mean AA and NA. Alanon is for relatives/friends of addicted folk. Trust me on this one.

:-)

I don't know your situation, but if your Dad makes real change in his life, I think you'll know it.

I thank God I got sober when my kids were young. It totally rocks.

Peace out, sister.

Sensei Ern said...

Maybe, if you can, put two locks on the storage unit. Give one key to you and one to your sister, so that, your dad can only get something if both your sister and you agree to let him have it.

If your dad needs something before he can start a new life, he isn't ready to start it. That's just my opinion, though.

Ginamonster said...

thank you for the correction, Rich. I knew I was screwing that one up! Hee hee.

And Ern, I totally agree. Plus, I want to know what makes him think he deserves a hand up, when he has wasted every opportunity he has been given thus far? Other people start over and make it just fine.

I changed the lock and the name on the account. as far as I know, he has no access at this point.