Fish Tales

I am blessed with the ability to laugh at myself.


I might have mentioned that purchased and set up a fish tank. Just a little one, but a tank nonetheless. That day last week I took off because I was too tired to drive to work, I picked out some fish while I my oil was being changed. I took them home and named them Molly, Polly, Wally, and Ned.

Ned, being a bully, tore up Molly's fins so he was banished to his own bowl where he proceeded to start a bubble nest in true Beta fashion. Molly, Polly and Wally swam around their 10 g tank all cute like, in true Mollie fashion. Then I noticed that Ned was acting funny. I described his behavior to Biker Bob who told me to medicate for ick. Upon inspection, I saw that everyone had ick. I medicated on Tuesday. Wednesday I came home from work and discovered that Ned was dead.

I sent him to his watery grave with a one bell salute. The doorbell is broken and rings all by itself. I am aware of this and yet I still answer the door every time it rings. When I hit the flusher, it rang for Ned. I did not answer the door that time.

Yesterday I peered into the fish tank and Lo and Behold!!! I have Babies! Apparently someone in there is poppin out the fish fry. I'm guessing it's Polly because they have her one black eye. There were three in there last night, but I could only find two this morning. Since they are the same color as the rocks in the tank, I am hoping #3 was camouflaged. I will be putting more plants in for future fry to hide in with hopes for more babies in the future.

I discovered last night that riding around on Biker Bob's motorcycle does nasty things to my ankle. I'm tired of being in pain.

In other news, I had the night off last night and even turned down the opportunity to go in to work at another store because I am trying to recognize that sometimes it's best to take the opportunity to rest instead of the opportunity for more money. I spent the evening working on my catalog, which is already late for the deadline that I gave myself, but I am not stressing about it. It went great and I am almost done with it, except for the last two pages which are currently blank. Advertisement for the Open House in November should only take one of those pages and I cannot decide what I should do with the other one. I have thought about selling advertising space there to help with the cost of the catalog, but I don't want to be cheezy. I have also thought about listing out websites of other small businesses that I like, some of the bad girls of craft, for instance, and Sensei Ern's Stained glass. Suggestions from you would be great!

My computer kept going wonky. So I worked on the craft that had me going all over town. It didn't work out the way I wanted (pendant) so I made a magnet instead. I'm going to keep trying. One can never have too many magnets and I can always sell them at a crafty event.

I gave up and read for a bit. I should have been putting away my clothes, but one of the glorious parts of being a grown up is that I can leave my laundry in the basket FOREVER if I want to. Then again, there is no longer room for me to sleep in my bed.

This morning, I had to tell IT this:
Gina accidentally pushed the memory card reader On Dean's computer

what it meant was that I pushed the memory card into the computer and they had to come over, take it apart, and fix it. Sometimes, I just don't know my own strength

Bits and Pieces

I am blessed with a very healthy constitution.I mean, I get sick sometimes, but really? it's not that bad.

• I keep wondering when my dad will realize I threw out his porn and call to yell at me. I'd like to see him take me to court on that. You know, tell the judge I'm a bad daughter because I threw out his porn while he was in jail.
• M&M's are the devil.
• Every so often my secondary schooling comes up in conversation. When I mention that I stopped massaging due to a back injury, people always ask how I hurt myself. I think I will start telling them it was a sex injury.
• Attention: If you are a 50+ year old man in a very bad mullet toupee, and you are married, please don't hit on me. Actually, even if you aren't married...
• Attention: If you are fairly young, and you want to come into the store and hit on the Baristas after you go to the gym, please shower. BO is not sexy. I must have been looking cute last night.
• Sleep is not overrated. I turned down the oppotunity to work tonight so that I could just, rest.
• I miss skating.

No Fallout...Yet

I am blessed with the intelligence to make something of myself.

There are two messages on the bubble phone that I have not listened to. I hope they are just telemarketers. Or, you know, maybe a couple of customers? eitherway, it's the phone number my dad calls because it's the one that is lised in the phone book so there is always the possibility that it is him. which used to make me happy, but now fills me with dread.

Biker Bob learned last night not to ask questions he doesn't want an answer to when it comes to feminine grooming habits.

I don't feel like working at Harbucks tonight, but after planning out my debt, and learning that I will be in debt until late 2008, well, I'll quit my complaining once I get to work tonight.

There was more but I have forgotten what it is. I bought a little book to write these things down, but I keep forgetting that I have it.

I have never felt so strongly

I am blessed with the most amazing support group. You guys included.

Saturday I received a phone call from the storage place telling me my dad wanted to cut off the lock and get into the unit. I requested that he not be allowed to do so.

Then, he called me himself. He demanded to be allowed into the unit, telling me that I had no right to take over it and that no one could keep him from his stuff. I replied that as far as I am concerned, it's my stuff now, as I have paid for it, and he told his girl friend who told me to do as I pleased with it. He seems to have conveniently forgotten that, as he tends to forget when he gives me stuff when he wants it back. Then, all hell broke loose and I let him have it.

I yelled. I screamed, I screeched and cried. Ugly words were said that were true and from my heart. He says he didn't need a babysitter, I told him he does and here is why. I used my angry voice, I used voices I didn't know I had.

When he asked the following, "What do you want me to do, cut myself and bleed for you?" I knew that this is a man who need psychiatric help. That sobriety is not enough.

when I ran out of courage, I got off the phone and called my sister who told me how proud she was that I stood up to him.

He has threatened to break into the unit and go to jail for it (Good, I said, when you are in jail I know you are safe and taken care of) He threatened a court order and to rescind the power of attorney since I misused it by taking over his storage. (I told him I should have taken over everything three years ago, then he would still have a house and money) I really don't care if he takes the power of attorney, what little I have done cannot be undone with that move. If he applies for a court order, I hope that the judge has the foresight to call me and ask why I would do this thing.

I mentioned that he called me because he was about to lose the storage anyway, he replied that he would have gotten the money. I maintain that I was a last resort, and, anyone else paying for it would have wanted to be paid back, which he has made no mention of doing. Apparently, from what he told my mom, (he called her to get my cell number) and the whole cut myself comment, he thinks I owe him something.

So after all that was over, and I cried at C's house, (he was shocked when I told him how I reacted) and he offered to play bodyguard if I need it (remember what I said about my support system??) I went out and about with my mom. We picked up my birthday present, in grey, and I LOVE IT. It was so calming to be with her. I warned her to keep her gun handy. Biker bob skipped drinking with they guys to spend sometime with me, which was great, I needed the company.

Yesterday I was bedridden with a headache. Last night I hardly slept. But that could have been in part to the brownies I made with the new mixer.

Today, as I write this post, the storage place has called. I have no legal right to keep him out of the unit. I will stop paying for his belongings to be stored and will try to recover some stuff out of there (and leave a few things that I took) and call it all done. Him too. I don't care to see my father again. Not that I have seen him these last few years, but I don't want to wonder when he will call again, I don't want to have to go through his drama again. He is a foul individual who's head I would very much like to rip off, if only it meant that by shouting down his neck he might be able to absorb some of the anger I feel for him. I don't think I should have people in my life who make me feel this angry.

I would never harm my father unless he came at me. I don't trust him not to do that. The feeling I feel so strongly, I was finally able to name about halfway through my day yesterday. The feeling is rage.

It was Justion Timberlake that sent me oer the edge

My blessing for the day? I have a wonderful job. Sure, I have my gripes, we all do, but I couldn't ask for a better boss, and the pay is great! If I would just stop spending more than I make...

I arrived at home yesterday pondering a nap but thinking that I should really clean up a bit since I am way off schedule with getting my next catalog out and I can't work on that until I get my computer plugged back in and so on and so forth. I decided to skip the nap in part because my floor was thumping. I didn't want a repeat of Wednesday's nap attempt which may have been a waste of time. So, I read, since Shannon brought over a WHOLE BAGFUL of books for me the other night. (I'm very joyful about the books) and no, I didn't get any cleaning done.

A couple of hours go by and the music continues. I try to tune it out, but it is difficult because not only can I hear and feel it through the floor, but I have opened up the porch door to let some fresh air in, something I have been unable to do over the last couple of months because it has been so dang hot. I can hear the music through the door too. Every so often, I hear a song I like and think, well, at least they have decent taste in music.

Then, it happened. Justin. Singing about his Sexy Back, or whatever it is he's singing about. I know I have mentioned how this song is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Like metal scraping on the sidewalk for those who have never experienced chalkboards. (I'll have to consider that further. I feel a ponder post coming on) I tried to bear it, but a black cloud was rapidly forming over my head. I tried to breath through it but the high pitched whining strains were going strait to the evil switch in my head. I became increasingly agitated.

I stormed downstairs (as much as I ever storm. I do not exhibit anger very noticably) and knocked on the door. The dogs barked. I waited and knocked again. Still no answer from the people in the house. So I went upstairs and wrote a nastygram. it said, "Please Turn down your music it rattles my floor. Thank you" on bright yellow construction paper. In black marker. I taped it on the door for all the world to read and returned upstairs. It was another half hour at least before the music went away. I returned to my book and tried to relax, but I was so angry I was shaking.

I was halfway into my Harbucks shift before I finally calmed down.

I try to be a courteous neighbor. I hardly play music, and when I do, it is low. I try ot keep my TV at a reasonable level. I walk softly do that my elephant feet don't disloge the accoustic from the ceiling down below. (My footsteps have been described as "confident") In other words, I try to impact my neighbors as little as possible. I would prefer they not even know I am there. I understand that they, like I, pay a lot to live there. So, come on! a little bit of courtesy please!!

Blessings

I rant so often, sometimes, that I think I forget to stop and count my blessings. So I am going to try and start each of my days' posts by being appriciative of all the wonderful people and things that fill my life. Then I'll get down to whatever madness happens to be begging to burst forth from my cranium.

I am blessed with the most marvelous family. We have our issues, and our crankiness too, but we're never afraid to say "I love you".

I don't think I have mentioned much, my new neighbors. If I have, it's because of the horrid doggy stench issuing forth from their porch which wafts into my nasal passageways when I climb the stairs to my tower lair or when I head out to my porch to water my plants (which, I just realized, I have not given a garden update in a long time. All my herbs died in the blistering heat of the Lakeside Summer. So did my tea rose, and all of my flowers. Jack's Garden turned out to be too shallowly planted to support life and has lain fallow these past months. I have cleared out all the dead stuff, except the lavender and Rosemary which I am praying will make a miraculous comeback even though I don't water them anymore. My yellow roses continue to bloom, the Gardenia is happy but bloomless, the pepper fruits periodically, the little white flowers, while straggly are healthy, Strawberry is still living, Colius is happy again, and I have not killed the Plumeria or coffee plant yet.) Yes, indeed it it a hazardous lair, the wasps are back and the smell outside, sometimes cloying. (inside, it's just a trip hazard, but I really am working on that)
I mentioned it the other night when Neighborman asked if the barking dogs bothered me (dogs? I thought there was only one, apparently there are two. TWO DOGS! in a 950 sq ft area.With only a small porch to pee on) And he cleaned it up right away. That was last Friday. Yesterday, I noticed the stench had returned. I went into the house, intending to start cleaning since I hosted Bunco last night and decided to take a short nap instead. My nap was unsatisfying. I couldn't sleep because I could hear their music. There is little worse than a distant thump thump thump thump when you are trying to take a nap. Some days, I can hear the words. I would gladly buy a whole box of $2 smencils, give up 10 perfectly good fallen strawberry plants, to have my old quiet neighbors back.

Since when does healthcare require telemarketing? The Lazer Eye people called me again last night. Apparently it has been 2 years since I visited them back in 2005. I pointed out that it's now 2006. And that i am happy with my contacts. And my finances would not support another payment plan. Yes indeed, they have convienient low payments. As if the daily deluge of credit card offers and the calls on the Bubble Phone offering refi deals (on my apartment???). They will be calling be again. When did "No" stop meaning "No"?

ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, Banana Phone!!

I'll let you look that one up. I think it's the funniest thing...not ever, but all day. today. in a few days, I'm going to be pissed that it's in my head.

There was more stuff. intelligent stuff. things that might make you think. Sadly, all has been replaced by my bananular phone.

If I can see you, it's my business

I had a crazy weekend. Went to the lovely City of Monterey with my Seester to attend a wedding. I would have liked to have stayed longer and seen the aquarium, where, I was informed by C, they filmed the movie Star Trek 4, (I think I saw that one, actually) but we only had 2 days. There is a great pictorial coming of the motel we stayed in. I will say about it that we called it an adventure and pretended that we were in another country instead of a resort town.

We stopped in Solvang on the way there. Way cool Dutch community. They were having Dutch Days and we got to see a real life small town parade. you know, the kind where the floats are homeade and cheezy and the children on them throw candy at you not towards you. The kind where people jump off at the liquor store for a six pack and have to run to catch up. It was great. The people were nice, everyone knew everyone else, and I would like to return sometime when it is not Dutch Days so that I can shop at the many kitchy gift shops.

On the way home, I tried to stay awake. I took a little nap before I left my sister's in LA. then I had to stop for another nap at the rest stop in Ocenaside. It was about 2am. A little scary, but I parked under a light and locked my doors. I don't like rest stops at night.

I didn't get to bed until after 3 am, so I took yesterday off to rest. While I was resting, I went to lunch with Biker Bob, got my Oil changed (really needed to be done, last one was before Yellowstone) bought fishies for my tank, took a nap, Brother brought over a desk (we ate popcicles. it was GREAT) and then went out and about with my mom.

I got home at a reasonable time, and biker bob called to tell me that my but was flawed because it was in Lakeside instead of El Cajon. Since I can't go around with an imperfect rear, wandered over to his house. When I arrived, I noticed a commotion accross the street.

Apparently, a woman was trying to leave and a man was not letting her. I saw him struggling to force her into a car. So I did what any other concerned citizen would do in the face of possible domestic violence. I called Biker Bob for back up. I'm not stupid. So from accross the street, BB called over to them. She never said a word, but he finally responded by telling us to mind our own business. My reply?

"You looked like you were getting violent on her and since you are out on the street, it kinda is my business"

He went into the house, she followed of her own free will. No longer my problem. Before you jump all over me, know that I do not think domestic violence is ok if only it is behind closed doors, but if she were being beaten or raped on the street, it is up to me to do what I can to help her if I can see what is going on. Violence is not ok. I did not place myself in harms way or approach the couple on my own, but I was prepared to call the police if needed. Once she willingly followed that man into the house, it stopped being my business or my concern and I left.

I think if more people cared about what was going on around them instead of taking the "not my business" stand, a lot more progress would be made against issues like this.

It was an odd night, actually, with sheriffs in body armor with rifles running through Target while my mom and I were shopping last night. we stayed away from the sounds we heard and most definately did NOT try and follow the officer around the store to dicover what was going on. Better to stay out of harms way and let the professionals take care of the bad guys.

Life. It's always interesting.

Recap

I had a wonderful birthday. Between the outpourings of well wishes from my friends, family, and fellow bloggers (chickie sent me e-flowers!!!!) the phone calls from my sisters, my mom, C, Biker Bob (who was the first to call), dinner at a yummy Thai place last night, and the wonderful nap I took after work partially induced my alchohol (I mixed myself a drink when I got home and promptly fell asleep. I'm not a lightweight, I'm sleepy)
Nothing bad happened, but something good did, My Cousin's friend Jamie had a baby! on my birthday! Hooray! And, lets not forget that Sean Preston Federline also shares my birthday, which raises him exponetially in my eyes above his parents. Who, I have decided are lost in the world of the living caricature.
Our Admin, Grace, asked if I thought I would hear from my dad, and I explained to her that no, I didn't expect to. That the last time he called on my birthday, it was actually a couple of days later and, it was the year I turned 24.
C created this picture for me:

Gotta love the hat.

Ta DAAAA

It's the reappearance of an Older Gina!

Yes indeedy, today is my birthday and I am pleased to report that things are going swimmingly. I have been curiously absent this week, I know. It's not because I haven't had anything to say. In fact, I have plenty to say, I just can't remember at the moment what it was. So I will recap the week.

Monday: I don't remember Monday. OH! I went to dinner with my mom. It was loads of fun.

Tuesday: I was cranky all evening. Part of this was because I have been searching all over town for copper tape. Found it. Fry's was out. I hate Fry's. Sadly, sometimes I have to go there. I still don't have the tape. My other cranky issues were resolved. After work and driving all over town, I fell and skinned my knee. and twisted my ankle, setting me back at least a week in my healing. ow.

Wednesday: I had to work at Harbucks. but I was so excited about my birthday that I was partcularly silly and the time flew by. The girls sang to me. And the radio did not play Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back" (coincidence) which just creeps me out. something about his whiney somewhat feminine voice makes my skin crawl.

Today I'm at work. I got presents. If my camera battery wasn't dead I'd show em to ya. let's just say that my new talking pen ROCKS and I can't wait to shoot the bossman with my new nerf gun. I am a way better shot with a gun than I am accurate at throwing stuff. That's not saying much...

Meanwhile, here are some gratuitous pictures the bossman took of me this morning. To explain my outfit, I tend to wear suits to work. However, sometimes my job takes me out into the field. The dirt field. after having to wipe off and out my shoes yesterday AND wander around with dirty toes (I can't bear to have dirty toes. I tried windexing my feet, but sinceI wear nylons, and the dirt was extra fine, well) Today, I brought in my work boots. They were getting lonely in my closet and are happy to be put back into use.

A flurry of stuff.

So many bloggers are discussing today how Sept 11, 2001 affected them and where they were. Since I answered Bonanza Jellybean's post about that, I'll just send you to her if you ever wondered where I was when the first tower got hit.

I will say this, that I will be 29 on Thursday. I tend to love and fear my birthday at the same time. So much has happened during the week before and after my birthday in the past that I fear what could come along next. One year, my grandfather died. Same year, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. Sept 11. C once broke up with me the day after my birthday. (we started seeing each other again about a month later). My father and all his jail stuff... I think last year was different and I pray that this one will be too. We will see. I will be on pins and needles until next week sometime.

Yesterday, Biker Bob and I were watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. We had a very interesting discussion about The Holy Grail. Ordinarily, I don't discuss religious things with Biker Bob because he's Catholic and I'm NOT and well, we just aren't going to agree on the schematics, and we accept this of each other. However, we definitely agreed on this:

That if there is a Holy Grail, and it holds the power of eternal life then...

A) If you believe in Jesus and the idea that your belief in him shall provide you everlasting life, as quoted in one of the few Bible verses I actually know ("For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believith in him shall not perish but have everlasting life"*) It is possible that the cup would poison you, allowing you to join God in Heaven. Unless, of course, you are Catholic in which case the very act of killing yourself is a mortal sin...I just thought of that. Does it count if you kill yourself on accident??

B) If you believe in Jesus, and all that stuff I just said, stopping at the poison cup thing, and the Grail did provide eternal life on Earth, why would you choose immortality on Earth as opposed to life in Heaven with Jesus?

C) It could be that finding the Grail would force you to decide whether you truly believe the words of Jesus and by not drinking of the cup, you choose everlasting life in Heaven with him, and by choosing an everlasting "mortal" life (I know you are immortal if you never die. Work with me here) you are essentially rejecting the possibility of life after death and therefore your faith in Jesus is invalid.

D) Unless, of course, like the Knight in the movie, you choose immortality in order to serve the Grail as protector.

Now, I am not Christian, so it is doubtful that I would go out searching this treasure, although there are chalice myths in many traditions, and I do keep a cup upon my alter. However I have to ask myself, if I were to come across the Holy Grail and have the opportunity of eternal life (which, really, as the whole conversation started out, by believing in the power of the cup you are accepting that Jesus was indeed the son of God) would I take it? I would like to say no, as that would remove me from the greater life cycle and holiness that I do believe in. But given the opportunity, it is difficult to say how I would choose. It's difficult to say how anyone would choose.

Certainly a thought provoking and interesting conversation. What would be your choice?

*Please do not correct my quote. I know many of you are far better biblical scholars than I. This is how the verse is written in my Great Grandmother's Bible. I have seen it written differently, but this is the way I learned it. Each Bible version is different.

musing

I was going to discuss how I always seem to wear a short flippy skirt on windy days, but then my father called.

I would like to say that his apology for putting drugs before his children meant something. I would like to say that I think he will be just fine.

What I will say is that the apology sounded like empty words. Something said to weasle his way back into my good graces. That I am glad he has to attend Al-Anon and Narc-Anon meetings all day every day. I think they are excellent programs with a lot to offer someone who is ready to take the steps nessesary to overcome the disability that is addiction. That I don't plan to give him anything out of the storage unit except his clothes and his fishing stuff.

He didn't dare ask me for money. (If I am going to spend $2000 on a motorcycle, I'm keepin it) He did ask about my grandmother's jewelry since one ring, apparently, would get him his motorcycle AND a new start in life. Luckily my sister has both of him. He'll never ask her for them. I will not give up the one she gave me personally when we were in Vegas after Frank died. I still maintain that if he wanted her personals, he should have been there when she died. And since my mom was the last person she laid eyes upon in this life, she should be allowed to keep that ring. neither Seester or I ever questioned her having it.

I mentioned the two jobs, and that yes, the storage fees are causing a strain but that Seester is going to help me out with that. I gave him my cell number so he can call me, and explained that I answer it unless I am working at 'Bucks. I intend to go visit him.

I am still very angry with him.

I pray that someday I will be able to forgive him for what he has done to himself and so to me and my sis. But first, I need to see proof that he has changed. and in that 5 minute conversation, all I heard was, "I'm still the same"

Or ga nic a nor

morc or ga nic a nu, m borschnic n beetle n borg borg borg!!

heh.

So much to blog about, I don't even know where to begin. Before the news of Lady's death came through the mill, I was going to discuss the anthropomorphism of God, and how I believe we give that which we call God human personas in order to better understand it. But truly I believe God to be asexual, like water, really, even though I will sometimes simplify the thought process into male and female energies. However, I try not to make this a religious blog, so I am going to leave you to your thoughts on that one.

I don't really remember Friday except that I intended to stay at home and clean in preperation for this Friday's Pampered Chef Party, but it didn't happen. I do know that I spent some quality time with Biker Bob.

Saturday I slept in too long to clean house and went off to eat Pho with Sharon who was just as fantastic as I thought she would be. I hope she enjoyed lunch as well as I. After that, I went off to the woodworkers store where, I could easily get lost forever if I only had a place to put my table saw. I was looking for hinges for me Spinning Wheel. they sent me to San Diego Hardware which is a decorative hardware wonderland. Someday, when I own my home, I hope I am able to liberally spinkle it with things like Milifori Glass and Pyrite doorknobs, and Laboridite and quartz crystal drawer pulls. Among other pretties. They also did not have my hinge, but I ran into a fellow who knew me from High School. Apparently we used to ride the city bus together. Although I recognized his face, I would never have known his name. He knew the year I graduated and the fact that I dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween the one year we actually attended school together. He's into fashion design now and has lots of wonderful ideas. I gave him my card. that night, I intended to stay in and clean, but I believe this was the night I crashed on my couch at 9 pm.
Sunday I was up early for work at Harbucks. I was out early enough to spend a little time with my family, which was, as usual, great. Then, of couse, instead of cleaning, it was all about time with Biker Bob.
Monday I went to the Zoo and the Natrual History museum, with my friend Tom. I was worn out pretty quickly so I cut out fairly early and crashed on my couch soon after I arrived home. Tom lectured me about working too much as I am "not getting any younger" I think, personally, that this is not the way I want to look at my life. I don't want to treat myself delicately because I am nearing thirty, which truly isn't all that old, I want to continue to have a good time and have fun experiences. If I "break my neck" at roller derby, well at least I went out with a bang, not sitting at home gathering dust. Sure, I admit that I work too much and tire quickly, but it was also very hot out yesterday. On a normal day I have at least 17 hours of awake productive time. After a short nap, I ran some errnds with Biker Bob and we went and bought me a fish tank. I tried getting one on Craigslist, but there wasn't much available and I didn't get through to one fellow before I got frustrated and bought. I took it out of my roller skate fund. I will be adoptinga shrimp or two from Biker Bob, and putting in a Beta, which is the reason I got a fish tank, and filling it the rest of the way with Mollys, which are varied in colors and types and easy to keep. They also reproduce like crazy. I'm excited about my new pet adventure. Now to find the perfect tank decor...The undersea pineapple is VERY tempting.