I wish I knew how to comfort you right now, but I think what you want most is for me to not see you upset. You knew this would happen eventually. That the time would come. I think you hoped you were wrong last week when you told me it would happen soon. In the next two weeks you said. Come to think of it, I think it was the day before yesterday. Maybe the day before that.
You tell me you don't know what to do. I think you know what to do but you don't want to. All I know is what I would do in your situation and I hope, for your sake, that you will do that too. It's time. In so many ways it's time. There won't be another opportunity, so go now. Don't have that regret. If not for him, go for you. I see how it hurts that you didn't take your last opportunity. It haunts you. Say goodbye. It will heal you.